₦airaland Forum

Do you think hypnosis would work?

@davidylan- you are quick to tell me to throw in the towel. Have you been hurt before by someone who has referred to you as a turtle perhaps? Just checking, 

So yesterday we had a large dinner with family and friends. The first was at my family's house and the other was at my best friends house. At my best friends house there were people I had not seen in a long time so it was nice to catch up with them. Throughout the night I was looking at him and realized that it would never work. There is just NO attraction. I had an opportunity to talk and laugh with some other people there and realized that "my man" is not what I want. To be quite honest on top of not be attracted to him all he does is try to accommodate me and it's just not sexy. He basically sat there and looked around while everyone was laughing and talking.I couldn't wait for him to leave . Once he left I relaxed and had a drink was able to be myself. I think there has to be a balance. You can be sensitive but you also have have to be manly. He is sensitive and sweet but not tough enough. Last night I was surrounded by all of these tough men who said what they wanted and appeared confident I was completely attracted to this. I don't want to hurt him but I cannot deny myself just for the sake of stability. I should be able to have both. If I stay with him I would not be faithful

@btayo1- point well taken. I do not treat him like a turtle whatever that means. I treat him really well. Everything that he does for me I do for him. The only connection we have yet to have is physical.

btayo1:
@ Poster, you asked for a miracle; when the miracle came you are asking yourself if you are qualified for the miracle; instead you start preying into miracle to find faults. To find a man with such qualities as you have started, takes nothing but a miracle; and no matter he´s turtleness he should surely have women running after him, than for him to put up with all the stunts you are pulling. The only other thing maybe that the guy feels inferior due to he´s turtleness that is why he is willing to take your crap and settle for a not divorced but single mother. Is he nigerian and Is he for Real? Does he have friends or Family- u need to check he might just be a ghost.
Am surprise that the females in this forum are not giving you a blasting; well it is not usual we only get those when a nigerian man has supposedly treats a sister bad

First and foremost I am not pulling any stunts. You say I'm pulling a stunt by not having sex with him? Yes I am a non divorced mother and my child is very well taken care of by both parents. Please explain what crap he's taking. Should he rush me into having sex? Should I jump into bed with him because he treats me well? Explain yourself! Does sex automatically mean that this relationship will work out? Of course you will feel that way because you are a man. I appreciate your comments and I agreed with what you said about praying for a miracle but once you started reprimanding me about things that some of you men do all of the time that's where I draw the line

@ earthrealm 

ok so today he started talking about getting married again. He wants to move away from where we live to a more reserved and afluent part of town. I am having dinner with his family this week and he is having dinner at my house as well. This man is moving very quickly and I think that he will ask me to marry him by the beginning of the new year. He keeps asking me about my relationship with my daughter's father who happens to still be my husband.

Behind bobo:
It seems you're still a girl n not ready for marriage.if this guy was your first love u would have fallen in love with him but since u ve had sex w many men who don't love u,all u get is your mind unconsciously comparing him with d other guys n rejecting him.you're still in love with the bad guys n thats a sign you're not yet matured 4 marriage. if u marry this guy somethin in u ll still push u to have fun outside your home.Even if u find the "perfect guy" he might not love u a bit because u don't come across as a wife material- all u may get is exploitation.i think you're d problem.

@Behind bobo- WHO TOLD YOU THAT I HAD SEX WITH MANY MEN HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING THE THREAD? IF YOU HAVE YOU WOULD NOT BE RESPONDING WITH NONSENSE LIKE THIS. PLEASE START FROM THE BEGINNING AND THEN LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS

Would the real David please stand up phonies need not respond,

@davidylan - I have a question for you. I pose this question to you because I have[b] uyai [/b] who went through a similar situation so I'm looking for a male perspective.

Have you ever met a woman that you were NOT psychically attracted but you knew that she was the right woman yet still you did not pursue the relationship because of this? Please be honest.

@davidylan- no disrespect to your post because all comments and advice is taken into consideration but I think what uyai was trying to say was she already had a connection with him and the sex was just the icing on an already tasty cake. On reading her previous comments she was going through what I was going through and decided to give this man a chance and he turned out to be her soul mate and when they finally made love it was so good that it took away her any doubts she had. If I'm wrong uyai please correct me because you have given some very sound advice. Almondjoy- please jump in at any time

He is the best man I've found thus far minus the 1 negative. I think he's stepping out of his shell and I to find myself thinking of him and what could be. It's very rare that you find a man that is not trying to force you into having sex because he does not want to "rock the boat". The only thing that is standing in our way now is SEX. I'm not sure if men complain about  sex not being good. Women we would tell our friends that he was small or didn't know what he was doing. Do you think there is a lot of pressure on the men to perform?

davidy|an:
marry so that u can have a constant p ussy to dip your p enis.

You concern me!

@almondjoy- you are of no use to me if you are "observing"
@Dorcasde- great advice!

He is such a kind and sweet man I guess that does make me want to experience something deeper with him. I've never met a man like this before and it is unbelievable to me that someone could be so much of what I'm looking for.I look forward to hearing from him each day, the sweet things that he says and the early morning calls I receive to help me start my day off on the right foot. I believe that things take time and as the days go by I know this will grow. Today he told me that he dreams about me everynight and I was and didn't know how to respond. I think I might start giving him something to dream about if you know what I mean

This thread wan funny quench pesin oh! Chineke! 

@Kconfused
This your thread is becoming a blockbuster oh!  No telling what you would come up with next.  Please I am waiting for your next move! [quote][/quote]@almondjoy

I hope the next round of laughter will not come from me consummating the relationship. Don't call me selfish when I say if the sex is bad or his manhood is small I cannot continue. THAT IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!

I will now wait for all of you to post your response to this now insensitive comment I have just said

@uyai- Thanks for your advice. Question? How was he in bed? Please be honest. Was it exceptional, good, average or considering everything he had going for him you worked with it?

@uyai- I really think you can relate to my situation. It sounds so similar that it scares me. I prayed for a long time for God to send me a good person I have preparing myself for this and he is here and it seems like I'm ungrateful. I'm afraid that God punishes me for the physical faults that I see in this man. After all I never ask God to send me an attractive man I asked for a good man. I know the answer in my heart but I can't look past what I see. My best friend made a comment to me one day and it stuck with me for a long time. She posed the question - What if you had a terrible accident and your face was ruined, how would you feel if he didn't want to be with you because of the way  you looked? I know I'm wrong and I'm not denying it and just want to love and treat this man the way that he deserves.

@almondjoy- if this works out I invite you to the wedding as our entertainment- you are the funniest person ever

@alomondjoy- - you are sooooo funny oh!!!!!!!!!!!
"the turtle in the relationship"
"shrimp #3"

ha ha ha ha ha! too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I see that I have some new views on this whole thing-


@Uyai- Was it because he proposed you felt differently? If he didn't propose would you still have found fault with him? I just want to know because as much as I want marriage I don't think a ring would change anything. Was it difficult to have sex with him? What I do know is that no other man has presented themselves in such a way. This man gets an A in everything else but the physical. I understand it fades and I should focus on the "everything else" and I do believe once I have sex I probably would feel differently. How do I get there?

@en-fuse

@almondjoy- the fact that I don't encourage your arguments makes me a man What are you saying about yourself eh?

@almondjoy- What is wrong with you eh? Sometimes you are nice and somtimes you can be mean oh. I don't know but keep posting you are indeed fun

Again, your negative comments will be ignored.

Frankies:
@ almondjoy

You seem to be very pessimistic of life esp marriage. I have always told you that you don't have a lovely marriage does not mean others will not.
At least I have and enjoy my marriage.

Shape your mouth when you want to talk. you shapeless amoeba

NOW THAT IS FUNNY!

So we spent the day together and it was a nice day. He kept on telling how happy he is that our paths crossed again and was happy that he has another chance. He talked about how it is important it is to find a quality person and he is willing to do anything for our relationship to work. He said the only thing that's missing is "cuddling" but he does not push it because he does not want to rock the boat. Although I'm the one with the problem I told him that he shouldn't just accept things because he's afraid of "rocking the boat". I think a part of the problem is that he is to accommodating. He has no opinion and wants to do whatever makes me happy. How about we do something THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!

I did get my daughter a cellphone but she no longer goes to the house. His daughter is 2 years older and is allowed to use the phone to call her mum when she comes in. Why should my daughter have to wait on me to call Often times their daughter stays with my mum and there are no such rules in my mum's house. This man obviously has control issues. I have never been a woman to lay down and accept something that a man says just because he is man- right is right and wrong is wrong. This is probably why it is so difficult for me to find a partner because I will not let a man rule me

@almondjoy- Good question about my daughter. Rather than speculate I'm glad that you asked the question. Her dad and I dated, got married and had her in a healthy union. Yes, I was fully conscious.

I don't think I've ever said that in any of my post. I don't have a problem doing the deed I have a problem doing the deed with him.

almondjoy - where did you earn your degree in psychology?

today we will meet for breakfast and everytime I see him I hope to see him in a different light. I am going to try and be loving and tender towards him in hopes that I can develop some feelings for him. If I look at the positive things about this man maybe I can look pass the 1 negative that I see and maybe we can have relations. It is probably time that we consumate our relationship and see what lies ahead. Right now as I sit here I can't wait to see him but how will I feel when I see him

@edmondo- Thanks for your comment. I'm not a bad person but I think people assume you're bad if you're honest. If I was perfect and without problems I would not be here seeking advice. Nice guy,lots of ambition and a lot to offer. I appreciate everything about him except I not physically attracted. I am trying to be a better person and look beyond the physical- he could not do anything more to be a perfect catch. He's perfect just the way he is I'm the one that needs to change.

maybe that is true and it is selfish. I guess I have a big decision to make. Thanks for your comment davidylan

maybe that is true and it is selfish. I guess I have a big decision to make. Thanks for your comment davidylan

He is getting a job in a different area and wants me to look at homes with him. He has so many dreams and goals that he's shared with me and I want to help him achieve them. This man is any woman's dream and I can't walk away. One day I'm sure to fall in love with him