To all the guru's in the house,Can u pls explain this sentence to me:" The big mover this morning is the Australian dollar,The AUD/ USD is up 0.28%, with the AUD/ JPY up 0.17%." & if u have this kind of info: which type of trade do u place on BETONMARKET?

wapmasta001: heres d chart again...

which INDICATORS did u add to your chart.

kemi_oo77: thanks..........

which PAYMENT AGENT do u recommend?

meritdee:

Pay wat?!!!! They re only good when you are transacting small amount of money with them. I've used one of them and I don't like their service. The CC is da bomb.

what do u mean by CC?

wapmasta001:
Have come to realise dat its only posible if d owner of d card does not have an acount with bom by which he/she has used d card with dem...........hope diz help?

thanks..........

@ wapmasta001, please can I use another person's UBAcard or GTB master card to fund my BOM account?

olafaloye: We currently have female rottweiler puppies for sale . Their parents are imported from german bloodline. If u are interested, you can reach me on 28F0A2F8, or 08062610164. Also for any other breed.

upload the pictures of the puppies.............so that people can see what u have in stock

Globaldiamond: Neolite Nigeria Recruitment 2013 [Experienced]
Qualification: University Degree or its equivalent, with a grade not lower than Second Class Lower Division. Professional qualifications and and/or certifications proffer added advantage.
Age: As specified.

Communication Skills: Advanced competency in oral and written English with the ability to communicate clearly and confidently in a professional work environment.

Interpersonal Skills: Demonstrable and proveninterpersonal skills; the ability to work and interact with people regardless of age, sex, background, religion, colour, or origin.

Flexibility: Be adaptable and demonstrate the ability to traverse different assignments and work locations.

Analytical Skills: Possess the ability to apply strategic thought process to complex business challenges and develop innovative, yet practical, solutions.

Commitment & Aspiration: Possess the aspiration towards growth and achievement of personal and corporate goals.

Interested applicants should submit their resume to solutionsintegrated2010@gmail.com not later than 15th March, 2013.

Applicant(s) would be contacted for a preliminary chat if the candidate’s profile matches any available or vacant job position.

what is the minimum age and which vacancies are available?

SOUND EDITING
"Skyfall"
"Zero Dark Thirty"
BEST SOUND MIXING
"Les Miserables"
BEST SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
"Paperman"
BEST SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
"Curfew"
BEST DOCUMENTARY (SHORT)
"Inocente"

After all the campaigning, controversy, and
uh, delicious food, the 85th Academy
Awards have finally arrived.
Airing live from the Dolby Theater in Los
Angeles, this year's ceremony is being
hosted by "Family Guy" creator Seth
MacFarlane. Up for Best Picture this year
are plenty of 2012's biggest hits, including
"Argo," "Zero Dark Thirty," "Lincoln," and
"Django Unchained."
We will be updating the list of winners as
soon as the show starts at 8:30 p.m. EST on
ABC, so get your ballots ready! And make
sure to follow our liveblog below, with
analysis and updates being throughout the
the night.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Anne Hathaway for "Les Miserables"
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christoph Waltz for "Django Unchained"
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
"Argo"
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
"Django Unchained"
BEST ANIMATED FILM
"Brave"
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
"Amour"
BEST MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG)
"Skyfall" from "Skyfall" (Music and Lyric by
Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth)
BEST MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE)
Mychael Danna for "Life of Pi"
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
"Lincoln"
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
"Life of Pi"
BEST DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE)
"Searching for Sugar Man"
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
"Life of Pi"
BEST MAKEUP
"Les Miserables"
...

@ jimlove,pls what is the difference btw ramdom index 25,50,75 and the effect they all have on the BET

Mohjyh:

i work online as an administrative assistant/ web researcher thats y i added that part of how to use Google

can u pls give me details of this online business u mention above. my email is oluwakemitosin@gmail.com

alhasanalhusein: I have been trying to make money online since 2010 but have met with no success. But I kept at it! I keep going hoping that one day I will start making money online as others have done. 2 years passed and I was still not making money. Yet I wasn't deterred. My determination keeps growing.

During this 2 years period, little did I know that I was learning something that will be of help to me later on. There was a day one of my friends asked me what I was doing typing and browsing with my phone all day (I use a Blackberry, so typing for 24hours on the phone is a piece of cake). I told him what I was doing (trying to make a few bucks online). He simply shrugged! He later told me to find something else to do as I won't make any money online. He mentioned that all the make money online stories that we hear all the time is just scam.

Hmm! Not deterred by his comment. I keep working at my phone.

Along the line, I sold my phone and bought a laptop(this is a sign of seriousness). I was determined! If I could get a laptop, then I should be able to make money online as others have done.

Come 2013! Something happened...That reaffirmed my faith in this make money online thing.

What is it?

I built my first website!!! In January of this year, I joined a class that offers free subscription to Godaddy Web Hosting for free. I was delighted. Is this the time I will start making money?...

I secured the offer! then I quickly put together N1500 and bought a domain name. There goes my first money making website.

After opening the website, another thing happened...

I discovered Odesk and Elance. Wow! Can I make money from these freelance website? I decided to try them out.

I opened an account at Odesk.com and leave Elance for later. I decided to start out as an article writer and see how things would go... But, do you know what happened?

During January alone, I have made more than $100 from writing reviews and articles for clients. The first day I withdrew my money, I showed my dad to prove to him I can really make money online. He was very happy.

Now I'm now making real money online! real money!

Tell you, making money online is real! very real!

If you are wondering how I am able to withdraw my funds, I use Payoneer MasterCard. So this is real for those who are yet to be convinced.

However, you need patient and hardworking. Without those, you won't make a dime online. Thank you for reading to this stage.

highly informative thread!!!!!!!! Can u pls send me details on how to start all the online business u mentioned above and how did u secure a Payoneer MasterCard?my email is oluwakemitosin@gmail.com

This is a picture of the a young boy with
the biggest head in the world .

http://naijafreakynews..ae/2013/02/baby-with-worlds-biggest-head.html

demoreon:
Yahoo seems to be havin some probs...sent to your gmail
Will reply shortly

@demoreon, thanks.

demoreon:
Sent

@demoreon,I just checked my yahoo mail but its not there and I really don't know what is wrong with my yahoo mail. Can u pls help me to send it to my Gmail address instead: oluwakemitosin@gmail.com. Thanks and God bless.

JimloveTM: Earlier last yr, when i first learnt about Betonmarket, i was not interested. It sounded like gambling to me, and i lost over 127 dollars. Honestly, i was so unwise. I saw it like gambling and i lost like a gambler..

Earlier this year, i read up about some people who study before trading, and i saw a different approach to it. I no longer saw it as gambling. I began seeing it as an investment that i could study about before trading. I decided to study harder the random indices, the rise and fall, and the forex market of Betonmarket.

I believe the best things in life are free, so I'll share this freely with as many that bother to open this thread to read. This strategy i came up with it after 3 months of trading with the virtual account and i was able to turn 10,000 dollars in the virtual account to 25,000 dollars in 12 days. It took a lot of discipline, but it paid off.

Excitedly, i funded my real account with 60 dollars, i was eager to see it work on my real account. I stuck to discipline and i withdrew 50 dollars to my bank account after 6days of trading, and had over 30 dollars to trade with again. In actual sense, i made 20 dollars in 6 days, i.e 3 dollars profit daily. As time went on, i began making 10 dollars daily. At this rate, i'll be making 300 dollars monthly.. And it all began from my little 60 dollars account funding.

Please note that the higher you can risk as capital and as daily trading amount, the higher your daily profits can be. But you need discipline. This is a sure strategy.

THE STRATEGY::
I trade Random Index, and i begin trading by 8am GMT, by then i have chosen a random index that is sinusoidal (going up and down) at intervals. With this kind of chart, it is not going up forever or moving down forever, so the rise and fall occurs periodically. So i choose to trade Rise every 1hour immediately after one trade ends, i trade rise again for the next one hour on the same random index.

Example: If i choose to trade random index 25 and it is sinusoidal, i'll trade rise after every hour. The idea is that even if i lose my first trade or second trade for the day, i'll win my 3rd or 4th trade cuz the chart is sinusoidal, i.e. it alternates Between rise and fall every hour. (i dont knw if u understand this. This is the koko behind sinusoidal charts)., and the beauty is that any time you lose your trade, you double the amount for the next trade. You keep doubling till you win. This is called the martingale investment strategy. Please google it up for more details..

Inorder to trade with martingale principle, you must have a fairly large amount in your betonmarket account. A capital of 100 dollars means you may place your first trade with 2 dollars, if you lose this, next trade is 4 dollars, lose this trade, and your next trade is 8 dollars, lose this and your next trade is 16 dollars. If you win this, you gain dollars and your new balance becomes 102 dollars. Wit the martingale strategy, it does not matter how many times you lose. Each win wipes off your loses. But since the chart i recommend is the one SINUSOIDAL, you will not lose up to three times consecutively. So profits is guaranteed.

WARNING: PLS STUDY THE MARTINGALE PROPERLY BEFORE USING IT!,
A capital of 60 dollars with trading stake of 2 dollars profit target each trade will take 2+4+8+16+32 to exhaust your capital. You will have to lose 5 CONSECUTIVE times to lose all your money, and this is almost impossible if you CAREFULLY observe and choose a SINUSOIDAL random index chart.
PLEASE NOTE IT MAY NOT WORK FOR FOREX CHARTS BECAUSE MARKET FORCES AND NEWS MAY CAUSE THE CHART TO BE ON THE RISE ALL THROUGH THE DAY OR FALL ALL THROUGH THE DAY, and SUCH A CHART IS NOT SINUSOIDAL.

NOTE: If you wanna trade rise every hour, ensure it is rise all through the day for the same random index market. Dont be tempted to try fall. Stick with rise throughout that day. Sane applies for anyone who starts his day with fall. The sinusoidal property of the chart will ensure you win.

DISCLAIMER: This strategy works for me is not a guarantee it will work for you, ensure you try it FOR A WEEK IN A VIRTUAL ACCOUNT AND SEE HOW IT WORKS!. Ask your questions below.

Before criticizing or praising this strategy, try it out first
Image below is an example of a sinusoidal chart.

@JIMLOVE: highly informative thread!!!!!!!! Pls my question is: what do u mean by RANDOM INDEX 25 and which type of BET does this strategy work best?its quick 10 percent,fall/rise etc

@ demoreon, can I pls have your free Ebook on Fiverr and other online internet business. My email is : kemi_oo77@yahoo.com

@ ncpat,can u pls sent me your Ebook on BetonMarket, am actually a novice. My email is : kemi_oo77@yahoo.com

I stay in Ondo state and am interested in this water melon business. My email is kemi_oo77@yahoo.com

@ Demoreon, pls I will like your free Ebook on fiverr & google sniper and my e-mail is : kemi_oo77@yahoo.com. also to ask whether all this website works with any nigerian ATM cards like zenith visa card,UBAfricard and GTB mastercard etc Thanks in advance and God bless

So many deaths occurred in the Bible but not so many resurrections. Apart from Lazarus, the widow’s dead sons, Synagogue ruler’s daughter, Jesus Christ
himself and two children raised by his disciples no other resurrection was recorded in the Bible. So we understand
the feelings when the first lady recounted
her experience with death.
To the amazement of Christians and religious leaders, the country’s first lady
broke the 3 days record of Jesus Christ himself, her resurrection was stronger than
Lazarus has her own stomach was cut
opened while Lazarus just died without
operation. To imagine the huge amount of
tax payers money put in to keep the first
lady alive at all cost and even the denial
and continuous denial of her where about,
describes the government in so many
ways.
However, is it a thing of joy to have the
first lady back alive, hail and healthy. Now
the first lady has pledged service to
humanity or as she called it ‘to the less
privileged’. To whom a second life is
given a new way of life is expected. Truly
we all will die, either we have once
resurrected or not. The most important
thing is to make use of every moment we
have on earth. Nigerians do not require
the first lady to preach the gospel has
foremost dead-and-awake individuals
have done. What Nigerians requires from
the first lady is a woman who sees the
nation as a home and the citizens as her
family.
Around the globe, family women are
known to be the economist of the house.
They stop the purchase of that expensive
car; ensure you don’t waste money eating
outside, would rather see you pay the
children school fees than buy that
jewellery for her.
Presently our nation is in turmoil,
politicians and bigots are milking the
national treasury dry. Our roads are in bad
condition, electricity is in a disgusting
state, portable water is nowhere and to
make matter worst unemployment has
taking control of the country. In this light
the need for a mother care treatment for
this centenarian nation is undebatable.
This task does not require a university
degree and English language is not a
criteria. What Nigeria requires for survival
is dedication, undying love and
truthfulness which are evident mothers.
Our nation does not need a mother who
encourage the husband to lavish 4billion
Naira on her for cloth when her children
are dying of hunger, we do not desire a
mother who would keep mute and watch
her husband squander $67billion in the
family’s account, we do not require a
mother who would be more interested in
creating shelter and annex for her friends
outside the country while her children
remain homeless. Indeed what our nation
requires is openness, strong patriotism
and the die-hard will that mothers like
Kudirat Abiola, Maryam Babangida, Titi
Abubakar and Stella Obasanjo displayed.
We all don’t know what tomorrow holds;
we may sleep and never wake. Death is a
price we must pay, no matter how many
times we resurrect from it. Madam Patience should understand that history has already opened a page for her likewise me too. What it is written on each page is determined by us, each bold step
we take to make the country better or each
moment we just seat down look. Indeed posterity will judge us all, when we had the chance to effect change and selfishness dominated our soul.
By Adekoya Boladale(political scientist)

It is no longer news that Wizkid is leaving – has left – the E.M.E. It was all speculations at first but now it has been confirmed! Well, here’s all the details you need to know on the ‘shaky’ relationship between Wizkid and his former record label Empire
Mates Entertainment (EME).
According to NET, Banky W who acts as Chairman of EME (the label is co-owned by Segun Demuren) learnt of Wizkid after talent manager Osagie Osanrenkhoe introduced them (along with upcoming rapper Skales) in 2009. The two were subsequently signed to the label and that
started a journey they all probably didn’t envisage would lead them to millions of Naira, mouth-watering endorsement deals, tours in the US and UK, property acquisition and of course controversy. Banky and EME practically threw Wizzy in our faces – on radio, TV, magazine covers, Banky’s ‘ The W Experience’ album and with the potency of his hit singles like ‘Holla at ur boy’, ‘Don’t dull’ ‘Tease me’ and a debut album ‘ Superstar’, his name spread like wild fire, selling out concerts, winning international awards and scoring collaborations with top US artistes. Wizkid soon became a
household name, recording success and adding fame to his portfolio…thus his brand began growing ‘geometrically’, to a state where it tested the solidity of his label.
Wizkid became an elephant in the room, too big to move at the pace of his other label mates – so he decided to break ties and seek better counsel somewhere else, sacking his start-up manager Osarenkhoe
(who remains with EME, building other talents like Niyola while working with non EME acts like DammyKrane) hiring Godwin Tom to handle his business on the local front and signing with rapper Tinie Tempah’s Disturbing London management in the UK. He recently debut his Star Boy music label. The question now is, will Wizkid succeed with his solo venture?

Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose are officially the proud parents of a baby boy!
The overjoyed couple welcomed their first child— Sebastian 'The Bash' Taylor Thomaz and of course Wiz took to Twitter to share the news with his fans. Source : uk.eonline.com/news/390593/wiz-khalifa-and-amber-rose-welcome-a-baby-boy-find-out-his-name

Highly informative thread!!!!!!!!!!

Highly informative thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless

Highly informative thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stay in ondo state & I will be writing on 27th at unilag (center 2),12pm. Pls call me on 08060376839 if datz is ur centre and date.

Kindly send me one pls: oluwakemitosin@gmail.com

The Ogun State Police Command has arrested a 65-year-old herbalist for possession of fresh human parts in Ijebu Igbo North-East Local Government Area of
Ogun State.
Chief Dandola Owotomo aka Amuludun Isese was arrested at his residence in Oke
Agbo, Ijebu Igbo by police officers from
Atan division, following a tip- off that he
was among the three suspected ritualists
who might have been responsible for the
disappearance of a 70-year-old Kehinde
Rabiu, who was declared missing at
Idode-Imomo in the area.
Amuludun Isese, who was arrested after a
search on his house where a shrine was
uncovered with fresh human parts, was
said to have been caught with human
tongue, arm and female private parts.
It was gathered that the police got a tip-off
from a member of the Idode-Imomo
Community Development Association,
CDA, in the area.
A Police source who craved anonymity
said,”we went to Ijebu-Igbo with the
support of the CDA member after we got a
tip-off from the people. When we got to the
man’s house, it was an eyesore. We
discovered a calabash in one of his rooms
where a fresh human tongue, human palm
and a woman’s private parts were kept in a
shrine drenched with blood assumed to be
human blood.
“We transferred him to Eleweran on
Sunday and the Commissioner of Police
has shown much interest in the case and
had ordered that investigation should
commence into the matter and he has
promised to get to the root of the matter.”

Vice President Barawo, Mr. Chief
Justice Ole, members of the Nigerian
Senate, political jobbers, distinguished
House thieves, and hapless Nigerians
watching from home.
Every time we gather to install an
election rigger, we showcase our
strength to the world on how easily
subvertable our Constitution can be.
We confirm that our democracy can not
deliver it’s intended promise. We recall
that what keeps this nation in bondage
is not the shape of our noses or
structure of our faces, not the type of
beads or rosary we pray with, or the
origins of our religions but the insatiable
greed of every agbada wearing man
and buba and wrapper wearing woman
in this place today. What makes us
exceptional – what makes us enviable
– is our resolve and allegiance to
perpetually mismanage the proceeds of
our natural resources (by which I mean
oil) every time we claw and clubber our
way to power. This has been the case
since we asked our colonizers to go
back to their cold countries fifty
something years ago. And “We hold
these truths to be the self-evident in our
mansions, cars and jeeps, First Ladies,
bank accounts both home and abroad,
wives and mistresses and to show that
all Nigerians are created unequal,
though our Creator saturated the land
with natural resources which some
citizens are alien to, that among these
blessings are those living in bondage,
squalor and forever pursuing happiness
endlessly in molues and okadas”
Today we continue the never-ending
circle of robbing the country blind, to
widen that gap that separates the haves
and have-nots of our time till it is longer
than the road that links the southwest to
the far east. For history tells us that
while truths may be self-evident, we
never value it in this country. That while
wealth is a gift from God, it must be
secured tightly by those in power who
have enough money to fence off others
from drinking from that pool of wealth
and donating some to churches.
The patriots of 1960 fought to replace
colonialism with the privileges of a few
coup plotters, looters, mobs and
scalawags as we have witnessed over
the years. Our patriots gave us
independence on a platter of gold, a
working government of and by, and for
the soldiers and politicians, entrusting
each generation to keep safe our
founding creed. And for more than fifty
years we have not squandered that
creed with our greed.
Through blood drawn during the civil
war and blood drawn during elections
and riots and Niger Delta militant
campaign and now Boko Haram’s
insurgency, we refuse to learn that no
country founded on violence,
insincerity, inequality can survive for so
long, but we are helpless in that regard.
We try to make ourselves anew, yet we
remain in the past as if we have vowed
to stick our heads in the sand like a
deranged ostrich.
Together, we determined not to create a
modern economy like Dubai, Malaysia,
Singapore or South Africa by
embezzling money meant for railroads
and dual-carriage ways from South to
East, West to North to speed up
transportation of our goods and farm
produces. We totally destroyed our
universities, polytechnics, grammar
schools and colleges and refuse to train
our ministry workers who gulp our
money and watch African Magic all day
in the office when they are not hiding
files. Together, we discovered that a
free market is not necessary as long as
we here today are satisfied. We can not
afford a free market at all, since it will
only thrive when there are rules to
ensure competition and fair play, lets
make sure such never happen.
Together, we resolved that it is not a
good idea to care for our citizens no
matter how vulnerable the ordinary man
or woman may be. Those rulers we
wrested power from were the first to
resolve not to protect people from life’s
worst hazards and misfortune.
Annoyingly and through it all, most of
our citizens have never relinquished the
skepticism of central authority, nor have
they succumbed to the lies and
promises from local, state and federal
governments. Our celebration of
initiative and devastating political
enterprise; our insistence on doing
nothing but pilfer the treasury and
disregard leadership responsibility are
constant in our collective characters.
We have always misunderstood that
when times change, the game must
change; that infidelity to our founding
principles requires new responses and
challenges, hence our cronies’
presence on Twitter and Facebook and
other anti-social media. Remember that
preserving our individual enjoyment
behind high electric fences ultimately
requires a collective action between the
three arms of government. We must
protect each other, be our brother’s
keeper and must not sellout nor snitch
on one another. One of us down, is all
of us down. Even if there is convincing
and convicting evidence of marked
dollars or pounds or euro, we must
thwart and frustrate any efforts by
outsiders to taint our good names. For
we the politicians can no more meet the
demand of today’s worldly hangers on
and high-end harlots by acting alone
than our soldiers could have met with
the forces of Boko Haram and militancy.
No single person can teach our
sycophants and liars a good lesson, we
need to equip our children for future
lootings, build private mansions and
private schools and network with
foreigners willing to help us loot and
channel the money to offshore
accounts. Why should we bother with
building labs and creating new jobs as
long as ours are secured? We must not
feed our enemies fat enough to be able
to engage with us. They must be left in
abject poverty, so that anytime we offer
them crumbs from our overflowing
tables, they jump with excitement like
catfish during feeding time. Now more
than ever, we must plunder the central
bank as one party, because the inflation
and prices of private jets is
astronomical.
This generation of politicians has been
tested by Occupy Nigeria and other silly
protests that steeled our resolve to
crush any uprising and we proved our
resilience. War of insurgency is not
abating and we can not help that,
because we are secured in this
building. But we must make sure we
settle militants in Niger Delta because
an economy without oil is unthinkable.
Our possibilities and what we can get
away with are limitless, for we possess
limitless power and wealth that this
world without boundaries demands we
even loot more. Our youth make too
much noise we must find a debilitating
solution o that, our diversity should be
used to foster divide and conquer, our
secrecy to shield the truth and frustrate
FoI Bill, we should have an endless
capacity for risk because there is no
working judiciary and the gift to reinvent
ourselves no matter how badly we have
done in the past must be pursued with
vigour.
My fellow politicians, we are made for
this moment, and we will not fail to
seize it – so long as we agree to share
whatever booty we gather together.
We, our MDGs and aides, understand
that our country cannot succeed even if
they try to remove us in the next eight
years. A shrinking few party members
even do very well and grow fat on
crumbs from our tables. We believe that
Nigeria’s petrol-dollars must rest upon
our private abroad bank accounts, not
that of the loud-mouthed rising middle-
class. We know that Nigerians will
thrive if we do half of what we were
actually voted in to do, every citizen just
might see the true meaning of
democracy and pride in being a citizen
of Nigeria and the wages of honest
labour will liberate families from the
brink of hardship. But how will that help
our course? We are true to our greed
when a little girl born into the bleakest
poverty knows she has no chance to
succeed in life if she doesn’t hawk
oranges on her head and the one on
her chest on the streets, because she is
a Nigerian, born to suffer. And what
about the little boy, that has to wipe
windshield in traffic to be able to eat, he
is definitely born unequal not just in our
eyes but also of many other passerby.
We understand that our tattered policies
and programs are inadequate to the
needs of our time, but what are we
supposed to do about that? Why waste
time in harnessing new ideas and
technology that will hamper our glib
ways and sticky fingers? How does
revamping tax codes and reforming our
school systems change the price of
barrel of oil in the international market?
Why empower our citizens with the
skills needed to work more efficiently
when we can afford expatriates? Why
reform our schools when ASUU will
give us headache every month? Some
of you can change if you want, but the
purpose of us winning this election is
not to change anything but to enrich
ourselves and that must endure and not
be tampered with. That is the only
reward we have for the effort and
determination to rig ourselves to power.
That is what will give real meaning to
our greed.
We, the politicians, still believe that
every citizen deserves no basic
education, security and dignity. We
must make the hard choices to protect
ourselves and inflate the cost of
healthcare in the country because we
travel abroad for ours. Let’s disregard
our deficit and inadequacies in
budgetary allocations. We reject the
belief that politicians must patronize
local healthcare system in Abuja or
Lagos instead of Saudi Arabia,
Germany, America or UK. We do not
want to hear about investing in the
healthcare sector to cater for our aging
past leaders and our vibrant future
pathfinders. They can die if they wish,
we must thrive to live forever.
Our chopping is now! We do not believe
that in this country wellbeing and
freedom are reserved for the ordinary
man or happiness for the grass root
voters, they have been settled during
elections. We recognize that no matter
how responsibly we rule this country,
even our family will curse us for not
appropriating enough to last forever.
For we remember the lessons of our
past purists who attempted to not loot
while in power, they died in penury and
got buried in paper casket. We care
about our twilight years after office and
it’s in the morning a wise woman
gathers her firewood she will cook with
in the evening. The commitment we
make to each other today– through the
various appointments of ministers,
committees and board memberships –
these things will help us remain
relevant in latter years. Contrary to
popular beliefs, setting up committee to
oversee what another committee has
recommended to the other committee’s
recommendation does not make us
lunatics, they free us to take more risks
and help us return to power even when
we are geriatrics.
We, the politicians, still believe that our
obligations are only to ourselves, not to
all Nigerians. We will respond to the
threat of detractors from ordinary
citizens and other opposing political
parties and set attack dogs on them,
knowing that the failure to do so would
prevent our children and future
generations from excessive wealth and
going to schools abroad or buy houses
in Washington DC. that we may never
live in. Some may not see reason with
this and tend to be good leaders, the
overwhelming backlash will teach you
the lessons no science can teach. If you
try to disgrace or make us look bad, you
can not avoid the devastating impact of
our EFCC, ICPC and the crippling
drought that will befall your allocated oil
blocs and importation licenses.
Remember we are a government of
point and kill.
The path towards getting a sustainable
inverter to carry our air-conditioners and
large refrigerator will be long and
sometimes difficult. But we politicians
cannot resist the lure and immediacy of
Mikano generators, we must lead
people to believe in gens and not
NEPA. We cannot cede to other nations
the income generated from our friends
selling generators and creating jobs
with the only thriving market. Through
massive generators we should maintain
our electricity and our national treasure
– our fridges, electric fences, large flat-
screen televisions and what have you,
whether in the wetlands of Niger Delta
or the dry lands of the Sahara desert.
That is how we will preserve our power
supply, increase our megawatts and
command the respect of men of God
who care about us. That is what will
lend meaning to the greed of our fathers
who once declared that office power
and electricity power belong to the rich.
We can not allow what happened in the
telecommunication sector to happen in
the power sector, I am sure you all
know how much we have lost to MTN
by demonopolising the moribund
NITEL!
We, the politicians, still believe that
enduring security and lasting peace can
not be achieved, hence we have
ordered bullet proof jeeps and wagons
for all elected rulers. Our brazen JTF
soldiers in uniform are getting snuffed
out by the day, tempered by flames of
scorching Boko Haram whose
unmatched skills and courage we have
witnessed in the past years. Our
citizens and churches, traumatized by
the memories of those they have lost,
know too well the price so they have
resolved to hiring their own security and
that has freed up some more money in
the security vote. Voters keep paying
the price of bombings and armed
robbery and other forms of insecurity
and natural disaster, but what is our
concern? The knowledge of their
sacrifice is worth applauding but it must
keep us forever vigilant against those
that might want to blame us for the
insecurity in the country and come after
us. We are no heirs to anyone that has
won any war nor peace for this country,
we are neither victors nor vanquished.
We have learnt our lessons and do not
wish to carry them over to this
administration this time.
We will only defend our children, wives,
mistresses, cronies, aides and close
friends and uphold their valuables
through our strength, armed men and
bent of rule. We will try and resolve our
differences with other African countries
to create a semblance of a powerful
nations. We must not be naïve about
their backstabbing and suspicions of
our largesse. Nigeria will parade itself
as the giant of Africa and we will
constantly send our soldiers to help
restore peace and order in other African
countries, even if our people are getting
bombed out on daily basis, burning and
disintegrating, for no one has a greater
stake in showing other Head of States
that we are strong and decisive. We will
applaud true democracy in Europe and
America, even Ghana and attend their
inaugurations not that our interests and
conscience compel us to do this but
because we buy our cars from them and
sell our oil to them. And lets not forget
the esta code that we reap each time
we board a plane to just neighbouring
Cameroun. We must never be a source
of hope to the poor, the sick, the
marginalized, victims of floods or
bombings – because we can not afford
to be so charitable when we have not
built our fourth houses in Ikoyi, Banana
Island, Maitama or Asokoro. They can
riot and rot if they like, peace in our time
is over rated anyways. Tolerance and
opportunity are Pentecostal slogans not
political realities.
We, the politicians, declare today that
the most evident of truths – that all of us
are created unequally in this country –
is the coldness of the Star lager beer
we will be drinking afterwards, just as
our forebears drank it in Dodan
Barracks, Federal Palace Hotel to
Nicon Noga Hotel to Transcorp Hilton
to Eko Hotel, just as our 1st and 2nd
and 3rd republic rulers drank the same
cold Star, sang and dance in 1004
Senators’ flats, and danced to King
Sunny Ade juju music in nearby clubs
on Saturdays and went to hear
preachers preach on Sundays
proclaiming freedom for those who
have jollied all night, and the freedom
of the rich that is inextricably bound to
the enjoyment of our looted earth.
It is now our generation’s turn to carry
on what those pioneers began, by
chopping very well. For our journey is
not complete until our wives go to
Dubai to shop till they fall sick, our
mothers go to America for hip
replacements and tommy tucks, our
daughters go to American universities
and return to enjoy what we have
looted for them.
You Senators have no business with
laws that will create jobs for our youth
or empower our women to prevent them
from been perpetually harassed or
raped. Your journey is not complete
until you catch some men who wear
makeup, walk like women, hold other
men’s hand or women wearing pinafore
and waist coat and liking other women
allover the place – and throw them into
Kuje jail for 14 years just to pretend you
are doing your jobs. Our journey is not
complete until our houses in Ministers’
Hill are uncountable. Our journey is not
complete until you breakdown every
little shanty and poor people’s living
quarters that make foreigners think our
neighbourhood is ghetto. Until we crush
the hope of every little boy or girl from a
remote minority village who dreams of
ever rising to the top and leading this
country to greatness, our journey is not
complete. Our journey is not complete
until we teach all our own children that
you can only win elections through
rigging and distribution of bribe in
Ghana-Must-Go, from Sabon Gari,
Kano to Eguare, Ekpoma. Our journey
is not complete until we consider
people from Sokoto as immigrants in
Isikuato and people from Umuahia as
infidels in Maiduguri and don’t give a
damn about their safety and security.
We should always cherish the fact that
the ordinary citizen is perpetually in
harm’s way, until then before our
journey is complete.
That is our generation’s task – to
jeopardize ordinary Nigerians’ worlds,
their rights, their values – in life and
liberty and in the pursuit of happiness.
Being true to our party’s founding
documents does not require us to agree
with every utterances of our ordinary
citizens, it does not mean we should
give them the liberty to jostle and hustle
us, or taunt us to follow the same
precise path of respecting the
constitution like Ghana. That this
country must progress does not mean
we should be rattled by the age long
debate that politicians are thieves or
compel us to settle every activist and
journalist – but it does require us to
either send hired assassin after them or
trump up corruption charges against
any dissenter in our time.
For now powers are upon us, and we
can not afford to waste time in arranging
ourselves, we must chop. We can not
make the mistake of subverting
leadership principles, or substitute
corruption for good governance, or treat
name-calling by investigative
journalists as a reasoned debate. We
must chop, we must chop decisively
knowing that our work will always be
imperfect like that of our predecessors.
We must chop fast, knowing that
today’s victories might be challenged in
courts tomorrow and we be removed
from power like we have seen in recent
times. We must chop and clean mouth
and it will be up to those who stand
here in four years, eight years and for
life to find their solution to the myriad of
problems we were supposed to solve.
We can not waste time in this timeless
spirit of chopping once conferred on us
by the British in Lagos.
My fellow politicians, the oath I have
sworn before you today, like the one
recited by others who are chopping in
the Senate and state levels was not an
oath of God and country, but of us as a
band of fresh filches, inner caucus of
our party, national working committee,
godfathers and godmothers – and we
must faithfully execute that pledge
during the duration of our chopping.
The words I spoke today are exactly the
same from the oath that is taken by
other lower level choppers in local
governments, even when soldiers ruled
us or when a nonentity realizes his
dream. My oath is not so different from
the pledge our jailed ex-leaders in
foreign countries made before the flag
that wave above and fills our hearts
with happiness that we can now finally
sign central bank cheque with
impunity. They are not the words of
ordinary citizens and they by no means
represent any great hope. What a pride!
You and I, as politicians, have the
power to set this country’s course
ablaze if we are not allowed to chop as
we like. You and I, as rulers, have no
obligations whatsoever to shape the
debates of our time. We can not waste
the votes we rigged, remember how
much we spent to silence the voices of
opposition, which can no longer be
lifted to challenge us when we go on
our looting spree, that is our acquired
values and enduring style.
Let each of us now embrace sudden
excessive wealth, not with solemnity
but with awesome joy, what is our
lasting birthright to rule and ruin. With
common effort and common purpose,
with passion and wholesome
dedication, let us ignore the common
man on the street who has no shoes nor
bicycle while we order bullet proof G-
Wagons and private jets and yachts,
inflate budgets and find contractors
willing to help us launder our wealth of
nation. Let us not answer the call of
history today to fix our broken land,
because we weren’t the one that broke
it in the first place. Lets carry on with
business as usual, lets drive the country
into uncertain future and snuff out this
little flickering light of hope and
freedom. Let’s be shameless in our
chopping.
Free at last! Free at last! Thank God
almighty we are free to chop at last!
Thank you, God bless you and may we
forever ruin the Federal Republic of
Nigeria and handover to our children
and children’s children.