₦airaland Forum

Pidgin English has no structure so can't really be formally taught, trying to give it structure and teach it would effectively ruin the language.

It also doesn't need to be taught, every Nigerian that grows up in Nigeria knows how to speak it.

wait, bia godu, wetin carry Igbo people enter this matter now? abi Aba Boys don dey fabricate phone?

Respect55:
Guy why u dey murder English like dis na

Oga, I dey murder English? Abeg correct me bros.

DaveHert:
Lolz I totally forgot about the PS2, will go back and modify the intro.

No p.

Wait..... is that?.... is that watch dogs?! booooooooo

Actually, the PS2 has the largest games library of any console to date

In the end what it comes down to is the fact that Doomsday can actually be killed, he has a weakness to kryptonite, The Hulk on the other hand would just keep getting more powerful the angrier he got.

Rexyl:
what is the issue that Watsapp has to be stopped on bb? Is it exclusive of android, and few other phones?

According to what they said, there are some features they want to implement in the future that BlackBerrys, Android 2.2 and lower, Symbian, Windows Phone 7.1 and lower won't be able to support.

A friend of mine working at Shell terminal, Ogulagha Focados in Delta state sent these pics to me.

They caught and immediately butchered it for meat.

I didn't know people ate dolphin too o

Lol this woman sef. But Ikoku why?

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LordDecency:
Yeah.....





We no experience such back in the states

Which state my guy?

https://cdn.iflscience.com/images/7db69f26-a6a3-5fb0-9f96-7efbe58b2901/extra_large-1464366548-1665-why-does-eating-pineapple-make-your-mouth-sore.jpg

Pineapples are thought to have originated in South America and were first discovered by Europeans in 1492 on the island of Guadeloupe. However, pineapples didn't make it to England until the late 1600's, where it quickly became a must-have item for the wealthy. Worth around $8,000 (£5000) each, only the absolute elite could afford this exotic fruit, and according to one source, the fruit wasn't even eaten – just carried around under one's arm at parties and social events as a status symbol.

If you've ever eaten a pineapple, you'll have experienced that weird, scratchy, rough feeling on your tongue after you've munched through a few chunks. So why does that happen?

It turns out that pineapple contains bromelain, a mixture of enzymes that digest proteins. Despite bromelain being an approved anti-inflammatory treatment and having other health benefits, when it comes into contact with the sensitive skin in and around one's mouth, it's actually breaking down proteins, causing the tissue to become sore and inflamed.

So your favorite fruit is essentially eating your mouth. Yes, we're being dramatic. But you get the point.

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/why-does-eating-pineapple-make-your-mouth-sore/

It won't work with dead eyes just like fingerprint readers don't work with chopped off fingers.

Ochife:
9ja senators been acting stupid since 1735, watin concern them with US- independence food for thought will American senators celebrate Nigeria's Independence

It's a diplomatic gesture, nothing more.

andy24:
Pls who did the USA get her independence from?

The British empire o, those guys do thing sha.

If you didn’t see this on the Tonight show, I hope you’re sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!

We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter…Snowing and quite cold and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car .

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood
on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to
the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about’ what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of
some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to
compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one
way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, hey first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be ‘pants down. ‘And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

TO: Those who like watching babies being born

FROM: A grandfatherly primitive type man who never indulged in baby birthing watching telling about the experience of a young friend who watched his baby being born.

RE: The "Fantastic experience" Birthing rooms give baby birthing ------------------------------------------ ----------------------------- Let's take just a quick look at the history of baby-having:

For thousands of years only women had babies.
Primitive women would go off into primitive huts and groan and wail and sweat while other women hovered around.
The primitive men stayed outside doing manly things, such as lifting heavy objects and spitting.

When the baby was born, the women would clean it up as best they could and show it to the men who would spit appreciatively and head off to the forest to throw sharp sticks at small animals.

If you had suggested to primitive men that they should actually watch women having babies, they would have laughed at you and probably tortured you for three or four days.

They were real men.

At the beginning of the 20th century, women started having babies in hospital rooms. Often males were present, but they were professional doctors who were paid large sums of money and wore masks.

Normal civilian males continued to stay out of the baby-having area; they remained in waiting rooms reading old copies of Field and Stream, an activity that is less manly than lifting heavy objects, but still reasonably manly.
What I'm getting at is that, for most of history, baby-having was mainly in the hands (so to speak) of women.

Many fine people were born under this system, Charles Lindbergh, for example.

Things changed, though in the 1970's. The birth rate dropped sharply.
Women started going to college and driving bulldozers and carrying briefcases and freely using such words as debenture. They just didn't have time to have babies.

For a while there, the only people having babies were unwed teenage girls, who are very fertile and can get pregnant merely by standing down-wind from teenage boys. Then, young professional couples began to realize that their lives were missing something---a sense of stability, of companionship, or responsibility for another life.

So they got Labrador retrievers. A little later, they started having babies again, mainly because of tax advantages. These days you can't open your car door without hitting a pregnant woman.

But there's a catch: women now expect men to watch them have babies.
This is called "natural childbirth," which is one of those terms that sound terrific, but that nobody really understands. Another one is "ph balanced." At first, natural childbirth was popular only with the hippie-type, granola oriented couples who lived in geodesic domes and named their babies thing like Peace, Love, World Understanding, Barrington- Schwartz.

The males, their brains badly corroded by drugs and organic food, wrote smarmy articles about what a meaningful experience it is to see a New Life come Into the World.

None of these articles mentioned the various other fluids and solids that come into the world with the New Life, so people got the impression that watching somebody have a baby was just a peck of meaningful fun.
At cocktail parties, you'd run into natural-childbirth converts who would drone on for hours, giving you contraction-by-contraction account of what went on in the delivery room.

They were worse than the Moonies, or people who tell you how much they bought their homes for in 1973, and how much they're worth today. Before long, natural childbirth was everywhere, like salad bars; and now perfectly innocent civilian males all over the country are required by Federal law to watch females have babies.

I recently had to watch my wife have a baby.

First, we had to go to 10 evening childbirth classes at Bethesda Hospital. Before the classes, the hospital told us, mysteriously, to bring two pillows.
This was the first humiliation, because no two of our pillowcases matched, and many have beer or cranberry juice stains.

It may be possible to walk down the streets of Kuala Lumpur with stained, unmatched pillowcases and still feel dignified, but this is not possible in Zanesville.

Anyway, we showed up for the first class, with about 15 other couples consisting of women who were going to have to have babies and men who were going to have to watch them. They all had matching pillow cases.
In fact, some couples had obviously purchased tasteful pillowcases especially for childbirth class; these were the Country Club type couples, wearing golf and tennis apparel, who were planning to have wealthy babies.

They sat together through all the classes, and eventually agreed to get together for brunch.

The classes consisted of sitting in a brightly lit room and openly discussing, among other things, the uterus.

Now I can remember at time, in high school, when I would have killed for reliable information on the uterus.

But having discussed it at length, having seen actual full-color diagrams, I must say in all honesty that although I respect it a great deal as an organ, it has lost much of its charm.

Our childbirth-class instructor was very big on the uterus because that's were babies generally spend their time before birth.

She also spent some time on the ovum, which is near the ovaries.

What happens is the ovum hangs around reading novels and eating chocolates until along comes this big crowd of spermatozoa, which are tiny, very stupid one- celled organisms.

They're looking for the ovum, but most of them wouldn't know it if they fell over it. They swim around for days, trying to mate with the pancreas and whatever other organs they bump into. eventually, however, one stumbles into the ovum, and the happy couple parades down the fallopian tubes to the uterus.

In the uterus, the Miracle of Life begins, unless you believe the Miracle of Life does not begin there, and if you think I'm going to get into that, you're crazy.
Anyway, the ovum starts growing rapidly and dividing into lots of little specialized parts, not unlike the Federal government.

Within six weeks, it has developed all the organs it needs to drool; by 10 weeks, it has the ability to cry in restaurants.

In childbirth class, they showed us actual pictures of a fetus developing inside a uterus. They didn't tell us how these pictures were taken, but I suspect it involved a great deal of drinking. We saw lots of pictures. One evening, we saw a movie of a woman we didn't even know having a baby. I am serious. Some woman actually let some movie makers film the whole thing. In color.
She was from California. Another time, the instructor announced, in the tone of voice you might use to tell people that they had just won free trips to the Bahamas, that we were going to see color slides of a Caesarian section.
The first slides showed her cheerfully holding a baby.

The middle slides showed how they got the baby out of the cheerful woman, but I can't give you a lot of detail here because I had to go out for 15 or 20 drinks of water.

I do remember that at one point our instructor cheerfully observed that there was "surprisingly little blood, really." She evidently felt this was a selling point.

When we weren't looking at pictures or discussing the uterus, we practiced breathing. This is where the pillows came in. What happens is that when the baby gets ready to leave the uterus, the woman goes through a series of what the medical community laughingly refers to as "contractions"; if it was referred to them as "horrible pains that make you wonder why the hell you ever decided to get pregnant," people might stop having babies and the medical community would have to go into the major-appliance business.

In the older days, under President Eisenhower, doctors avoided contraction problems by giving lots of drugs to women who were having babies. They'd knock them out during the delivery, and the women would wake up when the kids were entering the fourth grade. But the idea with natural childbirth is to try to avoid giving the woman a lot of drugs, so she can share the first, intimate moments after birth with the baby and father and the obstetrician and the pediatrician and the standby anesthesiologist and several nurses and the person who cleans the delivery room.

The key to avoiding drugs, according to the natural-childbirth people, is for the woman to breathe deeply. Really.

The theory is that if she breathes deeply, she'll get all relaxed and won't notice that she's in a hospital room, wearing a truly perverted garment and having a baby.
I'm not sure who came up with this theory.

Whoever it was evidently believed that women have very small brains.
So, in childbirth classes, we spent a lot of time sprawled on these little mats with our pillows while the women pretend to have contractions and the men squatted around with stopwatches and pretend to time them.

The Country Club couples didn't care for this part. They were not into squatting.

After a couple of classes, they started bringing little backgammon sets and playing backgammon when they were supposed to be practicing breathing. I imagine they used servants to have contractions for them.

Anyway, my wife and I traipsed along for months, breathing and timing, respectively.

We had no problems whatsoever. We were a terrific team. We had a swell time. Really.

The actual delivery was slightly more difficult.

I don't want to name names, but I held up my end.

I had my stopwatch in good working order and I told my wife to breathe. "Don't forget to breath," I'd say, or "You should breathe, you know." She, on the other hand, was unusually cranky.

For example, she didn't want me to use my stopwatch. Can you imagine? All that practice, all that squatting on the natural-childbirth classroom floor, and she suddenly gets into this big snit about stopwatches. Also, she almost completely lost her sense of humor.

At one point, I made an especially amusing remark, and she tried to hit me. She usually has an excellent sense of humor. Nonetheless, the baby came out all right, or at least all right for newborn babies, which is pretty awful unless you're a big fan of slime.

I thought I had held up well for the whole thing when the doctor, who up to then had behaved like a perfectly rational person, said, "Would you like to see the placenta?" Now let's face it; that is like asking "would you like me to pour hot tar into your nostrils?" Nobody would like to see a placenta. If anything, it would be a form of punishment:

JURY: We find the defendant guilty of stealing from the old and crippled.

JUDGE: I sentence the defendant to look at three placenta.

But without waiting for an answer, the doctor held up the placenta, not unlike the way you might hold up a bowling trophy.

I bet he wouldn't have tried that with people who have matching pillowcases.
The placenta aside, everything worked out fine. We ended up with an extremely healthy, organic, natural baby, who immediately demanded to be put back into the uterus.

All in all, it's not a bad way to reproduce, although I understand that some members of the flatworm family simply divide into two.

arcnomec:
Op,is an affront on our face as Architects for you to attribute this caricature to our noble profession.

Mere tagging the word 'Architect' in this post of yours,tends to ridicule what the Architect stands for.Please desist from making jokes that spite other people's profession .

Just negodu

That house would be too claustrophobic for me abeg.

My friend please settle down and explain what the video is supposed to be about before I spend my data on it.

Your title and little blurb says nothing.

E be like say dey no remember wetin do Mr and Mrs Smith marriage for the film.

The reason Tecno is on top of the Nigerian smartphone market today is as a result of Good Marketing, they have a superb marketing Dept, whenever they release a new device whether good or rubbish, the amount of hype you experience online, on TV, Radio, or just walking down the street is crazy, it gets tiring after a while.

It's from the borehole, it happens sometimes I don't think they dug deep enough, it'll eventually pass.

RitzyPrince:
What's this one even saying before u disgrace yourself further make research (use Google). My phone ain't jailbroken and ain't on no specialized OTG cable ok.

http://www.ipadforums.net/threads/does-the-ipad-support-otg.125732/

Could you please post a pic of your otg device, and tell us what exactly it is capable of doing in your iPhone?

RitzyPrince:
Fallacy. I'm presently using OTG on my iPhone 5s....stop making absolute statements on issues u know nothing about

My dear stop blowing hot air, i can by that your phone is either jailbroken or you're using a specialized otg device, h i talking about using a generic otg cable on iOS which won't work, it's that simple most especially with a USB modem.