Your observation is totally correct!
So many adults male and female have untold stories. Some have results in pregnancies kept away by [/b]the families for sake of stigmatization. [b][b][/b]

Truvelisback:
Sadly, fathers who were expected to protect their daughters are now the ones sexually abusing their daughters.

Talking about life after sexual abuse at childhood by a family member encapsulates pretty much.
There is the "how do we recover from sexual abuse, trauma therapy, sexually transmitted diseases, Stockholm syndrome, hypersexuality as a result of abuse,talking to loved ones after sexual abuse, dating after sexual abuse,how long does it take to recover or heal.... Honestly the afters of sexual abuse by a family member is unique for every victim or WARRIOR I’ll prefer to say. You are a warrior not a victim.

You know, while I think that the after effect of childhood sexual abuse is different for every warrior, permit me to say that the duration of abuse and number of abusers would definitely influence how every warrior would be affected. In my own case, I had one person abuse me a couple of times. There are cases of strong warriors who were gang raped once or some persons had two or more persons molest them over a period.
Whatever the case, while some warriors would take charge of the effects, it takes some others quite some time to even come to terms with the reality of what has happened.

In no particular order, Let's quickly talk about some of the after effects of childhood sexual molestation or abuse by a family member.

1.Coming to terms with reality: the natural aftermath of sexual abuse is coming to terms with one's new reality. Usually, the warrior is in shock, withdrawn with a lot of questions going through his or her mind about what's happened. The feeling of shame or even blame on themselves. This is quite a difficult phase...
2. Depression: Depression isn't a strange phase after a sexual abuse. A bubbly child can suddenly become withdrawn,sad, unhappy dealing with sexual molestation. An observant parent, guardian or teacher should notice this sudden change. Children who are helped on time with the right people, therapy and care do better at healing
3. Medical concerns: medical concerns such as rape trauma syndrome, or others that may affect the fertility level of the child later in life can be really devastating especially when the chances of a solution is thin.
4. Pregnancy: older female children in their teenage years could fall pregnant leaving them to not only deal with the pains of being violated forcefully, but become parents to children as children. When not properly handled by family members or guardians, this could change the course of the warriors path for life. Some could hate the child as they are only a reminder of pain and agony.
5. Nightmares: personally, I've had to deal with nightmares mostly about my abuser for years. While that has drastically reduced with conscious positive thoughts, I still have them once in a long while. I think that for people with strong imaginations and have a thing through dreams, there is a high possibility that they have to deal with nightmares for a while.
6. Sex drive (hate sex or hypersexuality): just like every other experience, a first experience of an activity definitely influence how you see it. For some people, the sexual molestation at childhood go on to affect how they see sex. When no therapy is done to correct this, the child grows up to hate sex as it only brings back bad memories. This has affected a number of people in marriages. For others, sexual abuse triggers hypersexuality. Let me give an example with a new born baby who normally should have exclusive breastfeeding within the first 6 months of birth. Say that rather than breast milk, the baby is exposed to water, a little soft drink, or adult food here and there. The chances that the baby will go back to exclusive breastfeeding if those things are withdrawn will be a herculean task. This is the same for some warriors. Their sex drive is activated before they are of age or ready. I settled with masturbation when I discovered I had become hypersexual. I know stories of children as young as 10 years of age who had to patronize prostitutes to handle this urge. Some has to go into prostition not for money, but to satisfy their hypersexuality.
7. Unhealthy sex habits: children whose sexual molestation involved bondage, discipline, sadism or masochism... It may be difficult for them to have healthy sex habits. Except with conscious therapy, love making will sound alien to them as adults. There are young men today who are only attracted to way older women or married women because of who their abusers were. It's formed a mental picture and it has become some sort of rule for them to stay on the path.
For others, multiple sex partners is normal.
There are people today who are homosexuals because of their childhood sexual molestation activities.
8. Dealing with false image of your abusers gender: a young girl who's suffered sexual molestation for a period of time by different men at different times in her life will only see herself as an object for men. She would act and take decisions about men based on the experiences she's had with men. Dealing with this false generalization about men will take time and work on her path. This is easier with a therapist who would walk the path with her.
9. Blames // resentment towards guardians: for children yeah, the feeling that they should have be protected by their parents or guardians may never leave them. They may begin to resent their parents for not being protective or observant. This may grow into serious hatred especially if their abuser remains cordial with their abuser. I cannot deny the anger I felt when I told my parents about my abuser and they forgave him almost immediately when he apologized. But you know, the truth is, that is the victim's mentality. Right now I choose to consider myself as a warrior in the battle of life!
10. Stockholm Syndrome: when a child who is sexually molested emotionally bonds with her abuser, this psychological condition is often referred to as Stockholm syndrome. I've watched cases of fathers while sexually molesting their daughters spoil them with gifts and making sure they are well taken care of. People who find themselves in situations as this tell themselves sometimes they are being loved rightly. They defend their abusers passionately. This is a really bad place to be. Victims in a bid to cope with the situation build bond with their abusers and they legit feel their abusers are coming from a good place.
11.PTSD: Post traumatic stress disorder refers to any condition following childhood sexual molestation. This is basically unique to the abused. Some persons develop serious fear, lack of concentration as a result.
12.Losing yourself: sexual molestation can make people to lose their drive, sense of belonging, enthusiasm, interests making them a shadow of who they used to be.

Suggested Ways You Should Handle Childhood Sexual Molestation By A Family Member
1. Truth is freedom: No matter how difficult this may seem, the first step to freedom is coming to terms with the fact that you have been sexually abused. I wish it was easier to always wish it is a dream. No warrior, life happened but you are alive!
2. Let it out as often as possible: for most people, bottling the pain never allows for healing. Finding an outlet such as talking to a therapist or someone who can let out the pain with as much as you can and as often as possible goes a long way. For me, just finding someone to listen every time I feel overwhelmed by the memory of my childhood molestation is always refreshing. I always feel lighter afterwards
3. Face the after effect boldly: for every childhood molestation case, the after effect is different for every warrior. From the examples given previously, whatever yours is, do not live in denial. Accepting that i was hypersexual after my abuse made me seek the needed help.
4. Allow yourself to heal as long as you want: while the trauma of childhood sexual abuse or molestation may take a little time for some people, others need a longer time to heal. Especially for those who were abused for a period, there are lots of learning, unlearning and relearning to do. Please give yourself time to heal and take life one day at a time. You do not have to rush into a dating after sexual abuse. You do not have to earn anyone's validation at your own detriment. Whatever it is, you are the best person to decide how long you want to heal. Heal consciously and intentionally.
5. Choose you over and over in love: while people especially in this part of the world are coming around how to handle sexually abused children, please choose you and love you passionately no matter what happened. Your childhood experiences do not have to define your adulthood. You may not be responsible for whatever happened to you in your childhood, but you have an opportunity now to take the wheel of your adulthood and make it what you want. This you have to do consciously without looking back.
6. Know your triggers and find a way around it: whatever reminds you of the terrible childhood sexual abuse experience is a trigger. Personally, stories of rape or rape scenes in movies, I avoid! It is important that you know your triggers so to know how best to deal with them. Sometimes you may find yourself in an environment where this is discussed and because everyone is entitled to their opinion, you may not like what you hear. Do well to leave such an environment, most times, ignorant people have the longest list of points.
7. You are the warrior/ protagonist in the script (don't give more to the enemy): whatever childhood sexual molestation dished you, please know that you are the main character in this play. You are the warrior and must not give room to more harm. Allowing your childhood molestation affect your adult hood is giving your abuser an upper hand in your life longer. Fight to change the narrative for you! You deserve the best life!
Do not settle!

8. Become an advocate and save another person: nothing is as liberating as saving someone else from something you suffered. You do not have to have an NGO, but your experience can help you spot a child who needs help. Sometimes all you have to do is put a call through to the right authorities.
Just be the help you would have needed in your childhood. You'd be glad you did.

9. Talk therapy: healing may take a little time, but the scar takes a longer time to wear away almost unnoticeably.

Some scars are so glaring, it is hard to go a day or even an hour without being reminded of the event. It is no lie that you are a strong warrior. Sometimes you would need to be reminded that your scars are beauty marks. You need to be reminded that your scar is the gold medal for your strength. I strongly recommend talk therapy.
Going through my healing process, I have discovered that sometimes when I feel overwhelmed with some unpleasant childhood memories, letting it out by just talking about it is great therapy.
It is heartbreaking to know that sometimes when you may need to talk, there just may be no one to speak to.

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If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy [/url]

Sexual abuse at any age is devastating but dealing with sexual abuse especially by a family member at childhood can be horrifying. The victim is at the mercy of their abuser.
Usually, children who have their family members as abusers tend to be abused for longer periods of time because they first of all are in the same space as their abuser living room to threaten and monitor every of their activities. What drives a family member to prey on their own is what I still do not understand.
You could watch something like "I was my dad's sex slave" or siblings speak about their Father's sexual abuse" every now and then on the news.
The devastating effect of this act on the victim can be for a life time especially when there is a significant link to the abuser like a father, mother, brother, sister.
My sexual abuse by a family member story literally comes back fresh to my mind whenever I see this person even after a long time. It's so hard getting over sexual abuse by a family member.
So,I only have memories of my childhood sexual molestation only when I got older between 8-10 years of age. I cannot state when the abuse started because I don't remember. The events I remember are so fresh and clear. I remember nights when I had to lock my room when my mum was at work on duties as a nurse and Midwife at the time. He would come banging the door so hard asking me to open the door and threatening me. There was this particular day I didn't realize on time that my parents had gone out and I didn't know where everyone else was at. All I know is he came as usual and I struggled so hard and got weak at some point.Why this pain remains vivid till date, it was an anal sex. It was the most painful experience. I was not up to 10 years.

The truth is I feel I have forgiven this person yeah, but every time we speak on the phone or I meet him, I feel a sudden anger and shame... I have to sincerely say that I have had to admit to myself that it is better I give him space to heal properly.
Sexual abuse in the family is really really horrible.
Sexual abuse survivors have to deal with the pain, memories of the events, telling other family members especially when the abuser is unsuspecting is another hurdle they have to deal with. In most cases like in Africa, the family is most concerned about their reputation before the victim.
The truth is, like cancer, handling all of this at childhood only destroys the child more.
I remember how my after opening up to my parents shortly before I turned 18 made things worse for me.
For goodness, I had struggled through with nightmares and the after effect of my childhood sexual molestation for long and got tired. While my mum cried and blamed herself, my dad was concerned about how no one must find out or else no one would marry a filth.

The truth is, there are no physical signs of people who have been abused at childhood by family members, but there are too many people carrying big wounds of sexual molestation by family members.
Victims are emotionally drained, mentally haunted knowing that someone so close to them are walking the earth free after inflicting a lifetime of pain on them.

Sometimes, opening up about their childhood molestation have led to problems in the family and then they begin to deal with resentment from other family members. The trauma of sexual abuse by a family member is deep enough. Please help a family member to heal today.

My name is Ochanya D'mprez and this is KIDS UNSAID.

[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy [/url]

Please share your honest thoughts and experiences about your childhood.

Today, I talk to you about THIS MOMENT.... One i titled "I WISH THIS MOMENT WAS OURS TO OWN"
You know for the longest time, I tried to be civil about what I really wanted with Kids Unsaid by sugar coating it.
Everything leading to this moment started some 30 years ago, well I literally only just acknowledged that fact looking back to connect the dots.
You see, for the most part of my childhood till I was about 26 years old, all I knew was nightmares, pain, frustration, guilt, shame, and the emotional struggles of accepting the reality of my childhood trauma.
For some weird reason, childhood trauma is one thing that a lot of adults conscioulsly pretend to stack away in some old bag because they can't get rid of it of course with some magic wand.
I am not here going to claim some numbers based on research, but speaking with friends, family and just interactions with people regularly is enough to tell me that a whole lot of people have traumas from their childhood that they are dealing with, hiding from, or just basically massaging through adult phase with.
For most blacks, especially in Africa childhood abuse is literally made to feel like a way of life.
... People who are bullied by peers are told to try and toughen up so they can overpower their bullies.
.. Victims of sexual abuse are made to keep mute about their experiences for life to avoid shame and stigmatization for the family without a care in the world about the effect on the victim.
.. Children who had to grow up in orphanages or live with extended family members after losing their parents and go through all forms of mental, physical, emotional torture are told they were privileged not to be on the streets.
.. Children who were physically and emotionally abused by their parents were told it's all tough love.

Honestly, I am not even trying to convince you that you are dealing with some form of childhood trauma, I am only advocating that unexpressed childhood emotions should be given an outlet without looking back.
A quick question yeah?

Is there a childhood memory you feel uncomfortable to visit? You really don't have to answer me.... That is completely rhetorical

Given the rate of divorce, domestic violence, terrible acts of wickedness and all kinds of emotional, relationship chaos in our society today, you could tell that people have baggages that they are holding onto from some phase in their lives.
I am almost too sure that phase would be their childhood.

Here is a brief summary about me, before I was 10 years, I was sexually abused by a family member that I cannot remember when it started until I got older. This events awakened a sexual drive that led to my many years of struggle with masturbation and pornography! Not to talk of the daily nightmares that I still have once in a while even after a long time...
I grew up with a dad who believed so much in beating me with anything he found around at the slightest provocation, and giving me a permanent mark on my body was his delight. Cursing and insults were like daily vitamins given in overdose.
As for the toxic marriage of my parents, It is a conscious learning, unlearning and relearning of my perspective on marriage.
Truth be told, how do you expect someone who's been through some of these or worse to be a normal adult without any conscious form of work to deal with these traumas. Too many adults with anger issues, inferiority complexes, unforgiveness, are left to deal with their injuries whichever way they can because people barely talk about it.
... Everything leading to this moment in our adult phase is definitely instrumental. I literally dreaded this moment of truth where I finally face the demons of my childhood.
For the longest time, running from talking about my childhood felt like the right thing to do even though deep down, I know my truth is freedom.
It's been over 6 years since I have been trying to communicate to parents to give their children better childhood memories because I deeply want kids today to have it better than I did. But how can parents do better when they are dealing with their childhood demons too. There are times we wished some moments was ours to own the way we liked it but life happened. I am deeply convinced that there is someone like me who needs to heal from his or her childhood trauma for a better adulthood, and you are not alone!

Now, I boldly tell myself "THIS MOMENT I OWN IT".
From this moment, a lot changes for me consciously.
I choose to deal with my childhood trauma
I am aware that I may not be able to control actions towards me from this moment for choosing to heal this way, but I will take the chance at freedom, this is my life now.
Going forward, these will be defining moments!
I will talk about my childhood so my inner child can heal.
I will not transfer my childhood fears from traumas unto my children.
I know that seeking help right now would enable a better relationship with my spouse in future.
I choose not to play the victim anymore, I choose to see myself as the protagonist with antagonists because I am made for more!
If I stay wounded, I'll be causing more harm to my society. So, I choose to heal!

Today, I ask you?
Do you own this moment genuinely?
Is there a childhood memory you deeply know that you have to deal with to have a better adulthood?

My name is Ochanya D'mprez, this is Kids Unsaid

[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy [/url]