I hear parents saying they won't give kids phones until they are in higher institution.

���

I guess they don't know what's going on.

The difference between this 10 year old and most of us when we were her age is hers was recorded and it leaked.

#truthisfreedom.

All of you who waited back in school after closing hours...

How many of us were up to 18 before their first sex?

Haba...

A pregnant woman can't deny that she had sex....

*No one would freaking ask if it was rape*

*WHO NEVER Bleep UP, HANDS IN THE AIR* ✋�✋�✋�

Parents failed, blah, blah, blah!!

How many of us are living the lives our parents taught us?

There is a whole lot to this...

Unfortunately, only God dey watch behind the scene for this life..

If not!

Please before you come at me....

*Carry sense along.*

If you want to have a conversation, at least with me, analyze from every angle possible.

I am not asking you to agree with me.
I am begging you to be honest and fair.

I went into masturbation for years because i was dealing with uncontrollable urge for sex after rape.

I couldn't talk to anyone.
I didn't have a freaking phone!

My mum was a great parent but i couldn't share.

What if i found a young boy who would indulge me?

Would that make my mum bad?

She was a single parent in her marriage.

The rape and the baggage i got from it is not her fault!!

She couldn't be everywhere!

Y'all think my content

*KIDS UNSAID* is for fun?

There's too much about childhood many people are unwilling to admit.

Let's stop deceiving ourselves.

I am not ashamed of my story!

*#truthisfreedom*

Guy, with a good relationship, and updated knowledge of technology, you can monitor and guide your kids properly.

Even Jesus taught about light and darkness and admonished we choose light.

*Long throat most times na hunger*

It is better you teach correctly than have another teach your child wrongly.

*Na who no do assignment dey get urgent fever in the morning.*�

*So many parents don't even want to know about social media.*

Link To My Channel...

https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

*I No Put Water For Mouth.*

No matter how old you are, no one ever feels good about being compared to another.
Growing up, it was not unusual for my parents to compare us. And i am sure alot of persons can relate to this.
I still feel most parents intend to motivate their kids when they make comparisons yeah, but the approach is almost always bad.
The timing too is what gets to me most.
It's like they wait for moments when you lift a left foot to dish it to you.

One time as an adult I had the conversation with my mum fully expressing myself about how bad i felt as a child whenever i was compared to my immediate younger sister especially who they felt was better behaved, did better academically and was more interested in religious activities.
It was really bad, my parents had an issue with my extroverted personality.

You know, every child would naturally be happy when they are complimented by their parents for something they did well.
I totally understand that parents want to fan to flame the competitiveness in their kids so they can achieve more but when the approach is wrong, it will only result in resentment and maybe poor self esteem.

Currently in Nigeria, the internet is saturated with sad news of teenagers killing for money rituals.
A young boy of 14 killing to make money to impress his friends?!
What exactly is going on?
Blame it on peer pressure, negative influence of social media, greed, but i tell you one thing, at the root of all these is the need to impress which of course stems from comparison.

Parents need to be reoriented on how powerful their words are. As a parent, you legit need to know the point your words can drive your child to.
Most of the kids you compare your kids too are so terrible you have no idea.
Comparison shouldn't even be a driving force for encouragement.

I tell you for free, Comparison is the cancer eating deep into our society because we took for granted the beauty in our differences.
Why in heavens can't you just correct, encourage your child without bringing another person into the picture?

Why not say something like " Baby girl, you have the capacity to do better than this academically because you do so well in sports" rather most parents would tilt more into saying " Does David have two heads for topping the class"?

You should spend more time understanding your child's thoughts process, and allow children to freely express themselves.
Why set unrealistic goals for your children?
Rather than focusing on the quality of education and raising responsible adults, you are most interested in grades and choosing a career path to help your conversations with friends.

Normal childhood is literally going extinct.
Children are not allowed to grow anymore.

That your neighbors kid finished college at 14 is no yardstick to rate your child low.
This spirit of comparison is why we have unnecessary sibling rivalry, some children even hide natural talents they feel their parents may not be interested in.
At the end of the day, rather than have a child growing and developing at his pace, he measures his progress and success against others properly laying the foundation for desperation which births all kinds of evil thoughts in his heart.

As a parent, unconditional love and support for your child at every stage in his or her life can never go to the drain. Speaking respectfully and celebrating little wins is great!
It is okay to dream big for your children but please set realistic goals in line with their area of strength.

Your child's weaknesses doesn't have to come up in family meetings..

Rather than compare, corporate with your child.

Please Subscribe FREE Right Here�� To My YouTube Channel For Childhood Relatable Contents.

https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

I'd like to use complacent in today's content to mean an "I don't care" attitude about adult realities as a result of childhood trauma.
Recently, I was discussing with some persons and their point of view got me worried as it only said one thing. COMPLACENCY.

So many adult warrior of childhood trauma have left their adult realities to time and chance that they feel it's okay to be irresponsible and complacent towards life issues blaming it on their childhood experiences.
They are used to certain narratives that anything contrary feel too alien to consider.

I see young men condescending low to become beasts by ill treating women prolly for the fact that they grew up with mothers who ill treated their dads.

I see ladies who grew up with cheating dads consciously taking up the responsibility to sleep with every married man in order to repay the women who made their home hell.


As an adult, childhood trauma or not, One thing you have available to you every time is the power of choice!
The choices we make comes with responsibility.
No one gets it done by sitting down or because you had it better growing up.

Sometime ago, my friends and I hung out one night and we were in this place and some man touched me inappropriately and i expressed myself in a way my friends thought was rather too harsh.
We were recounting experiences and they still spoke about it...
Inasmuch as i'd love to think that i did the right thing, i paid attention to their perspective because i know i honestly want to be better with how i treat men.
I am fully aware that i have triggers when it comes to men as a result of my childhood experiences.
When it comes to sexual assault, i am honestly very impatient.
I have no right to take out my childhood trauma on anyone or make anyone a victim of them

For the longest time I had a problem with women submitting to men because i saw it play out wrongly growing up. I thought that any woman who submitted to a man as expected of the bible was only setting herself up for disrespect and maltreatment until I saw submission being reciprocated with intentional love.

As a adult warrior of childhood trauma, until you consciously change your perspective of some of the things you saw playing out growing up, you would be complacent towards important issues.

In complacency, there is no room to seek to be better, in complacency is irresponsibility, in complacency, you take whatever comes, In complacency hope is thin or even lost because you feel content blaming it on your childhood.

My main drive for Kids Unsaid is to see that i kick against everything that made my childhood a nightmare. I want to be a better parent, i want my kids to have a better home than i did.

I cannot afford to be complacent in anyway if i have to achieve this.
It takes a lot of intentionality to get what you deserve.
As a matter of fact, you cannot afford to sit down and say que sera sera because that is an old lie!
Whatever you want for your life and future, you have to violently take it!
There is no excuse for any form of irresponsibility no matter what prompted it.

You got raped and now you are a single mom is not an excuse to become a burden. You have all it takes to work, put yourself through school and freaking become the woman you've always wanted to be.

Sexual abuse shouldn't be your excuse for promiscuity, trust me when i say i totally understand that sexual abuse can unleash a sexual demon.
I struggled with masturbation for the longest time, so i know!

That you found yourself abandoned on the street as an orphan is not a sentence into robbery and thuggery.

You do not have to drink yourself to stupor, maltreat women before you can earn your respect as a man.
Even the 21st century animal knows better.

I know that you did not become complacent intentionally, you just have seen too many bad to believe you can be better.
You can take up a new challenge today.
Move out of your comfort zone, look through the internet on how you can be better in the areas you are lacking. Read good books, Tilt more towards people who are doing better and drop the pessimism.

You have been wired for better but you have to choose to do better daily.

You cannot afford to be a complacent adult warrior of childhood trauma because the government's got no compensation plan for you!
Own your life, stop sulking and put in the work!

Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel To Catch Some Of My Contents.

https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

THE VISION BOARD

Whatever You Do, Be Religious Enough To Lay A Good Foundation In Whatever Area You Want To Win This Year.

✅Spiritual Life
✅Career Wise
✅Personal Development

So In December I Met Someone Who Shared With Me About Consciously Having A Vision Board For The Year And Then An Appraisal At The End Of It.

The Vision Board Would Usually Contain Your Goals, The Objectives, And Basically How You Intend To Achieve Them.

Attaching Pictures On Your Vision Board Helps Your Mind. Gen 30:38-43

You Really Do Not Have To Have 10 Goals On Your Vision Board.

Here's An Example With Me:
The First Place Which Is The Most Important For Me Is MY SPIRITUAL LIFE.

.. I Have Fasting Which Starts Today, and For The Next 21 Days I'll Be Focused On That.

.. I'm In A One Year Bible Group (OYBS) To Stay Woke On The Word.

.. I Also Have My Alarm Set For Scheduled Prayers and Church Activities...

See, you really don't have to do them my way yeah, but it is important you keep track of where you started and how far you've come at the end of the year.

Trust me, just simple, little stuff may just lead to your big break.

Stay on your lane, be your coach!

I have courses I'd love to take this year in line with what I do.

Set Career, Financial Goals.
Anything To Better Your Life.

Ensure It Is Time Bound Oh!

HAPPY FASTING!�

BrandBrainBox:
Good of thee and thy mom. May thou be blest in accordance with the scriptures.

Amen!!!!

isaiah4life:
You are doing well. Momma thank you for supporting one of our own.

Awwwn� Thank you Isaiah!!

So, i recently asked people what letter they would wantbto write to their parents and i made a content on my YouTube channel about that.

My mum heard what i wrote to her and she said it was emotional.

[url].
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngoSuHoM2tA [/url]

I mean this woman is my number ONE FAN, my LOUDEST CHEERLEADER!

What i say in my contents about my childhood may not be the easiest for her to take in but she supports regardless.

She wants other parents to do better, no one could have done my MUM BETTER!

She is the first to watch and comment on my episodes...

Love from this point of view feels great!

Would you please leave her a kind word, I'd love to read it to her.

She's been in this office for almost 30 years, i turn 30 by 22nd of December.

Here are pictures of us and her comments on my channel.

That

I cannot deny that the air is thick with pressure to meet goals.
Family, relationship, financial, career goals.
But, have you stopped to think about all the goals you've scored so far?
Maybe you don't consider them as goals because you feel is just some penalty kick....

Gratitude isn't something you do as at when convenient.
Gratitude is a lifestyle that should be choice less, timeless and season less.
There is no blurred vision in gratitude...
Everything you are opportuned to be blessed with is crystal clear.
There are no complications in gratitude because complain is absent.

In gratitude, a blind man will appreciate distance because he got legs while a lame man will appreciate scenery because he's got eyes.
There is no single one person who has no reason to be grateful.
Even the man paying for oxygen is grateful that he can afford it.
These past few weeks have been emotionally unsettling for me.
Today, God took me somewhere.
Somewhere symbolic like the pinnacle the Devil took Jesus.

Just that, this point of view was completely different.
If this is the only thing you decide to ever watch from me, that would serve a lifetime.
If at the end of this, you do not pick anything, please block me.

I will totally understand.

MAY GOD REVEAL HIMSELF
TO YOU TODAY IN YOUR VERY LOVE LANGUAGE.

I honestly couldn't keep this �� to myself.

https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

Inferiority Complex isn't something anyone is born with.
Most of the time, our childhood, family relationships and the environment we grow up in come to play in shaping our mindsets. Every child is born happy!



Identifying the stage you started struggling with self esteem is a first step to confidence
You have got to identify situations, memories, events that led to that. My struggle with self esteem started after my sexual molestation started and i couldn't talk to anyone about it. I felt dirty, afraid, blamed myself and went from a bubbly happy girl to this completely withdrawn girl and that affected my confidence around other kids.
You may listen to my story here:
[url].
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BrU1QjU4aQ[/url]

The truth is, to fully get help, you have to put in some form of work by identifying the situations that got you there in the first place.
Here's a detailed article on how you should “OWN YOUR MOMENTS”

[url].https://link.medium.com/wF7PxaPeelb[/url]

hope that you find your answers or at least get on the path to GETTING BACK YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE cause you were never born that way!
You will also find where and how to get help as sometimes doing this alone may feel like a herculean task. You deserve to be genuinely happy!

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

As humans, it is normal for us to feel inadequate, less of ourselves every now and then as we live through life.
Honestly, it is not every time you hear that a friend just got engaged or landed a new job you are genuinely happy.
I bet you have had moments where you told yourself you were way too qualified to get what they are getting.
Truth is, most of those moments happen for them with Zero Stress.

. Far from it to call you a hater, YOU ARE NOT!
You are human, i am human.
These things are normal...
It’s okay to feel like that once in a while as long as you are not staying in bed for hours sulking for another persons good news.

If you are in that place where you have to start comparing yourself seriously, having mood swings, watching their stories (Ayra way) to note how they don't deserve whatever good they are getting, omoh, there is problem oh�

Lets Talk.

.DEALING WITH INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

Paint with me....

.. Have you noticed how children who are not so nicely dressed stare and admire properly dressed and vocal kids?
.. Maybe you have been in a place where an articulate simply dressed lady works into a salon and everyone wants to attend to her.
.. What about someone who's claiming they are not jealous of a particular person and trying so hard to convince you to do the same because they are too sure their ways are not legit.

Now you get the picture...

Self esteem is defined in the Oxford dictionary as the believe in oneself and abilities.
Unfortunately there are children who experience poor self esteem but parents prefer to tag it as being shy or just nature.
But this can go on to affect the child even to adulthood.

.DO YOU KNOW?
Poor Or Healthy Self Esteem, Not a single individual is born with it.
What a child hears,sees, and the environment he grows up in are factors that affect his carriage.

Too common in this part of the world to hear parents insult their kids heavily and still expect the opposite of their pronunciations on that child.

What do you expect of a child who you constantly shout at and call good for nothing?
Or a child who is labeled dull brain by the teacher...
Watch What This Amazing Cartoonist Painted About This Before She Went To Heaven.>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK3L3qrDg7E

A major reason why we have adults with amazing ideas and yet wouldn't utter a word about their ideas is because they've been put down too much and have lost their voices.

This Psychologist Did Justice Explaining This Professionally. ��
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgnkLe0qPCA

There are people stuck in relationships and marriages enduring poor or no orgasm because they feel they are the problem.

.YOU CARE TO KNOW WHO IS DEALING WITH INFERIORITY COMPLEX?

.. If you constantly compare yourself to people and measure your success against theirs and not the progress you've made on your path.
.. When you blame yourself for every wrong that happens in your presence or absence.
.. When peoples validation gives you temporary joy.
.. When you find it hard to admit your wrongs, accept corrections but would rather have another person be blamed.
.. When you constantly doubt good compliments about you. Say people tell you they love what you are wearing but you think they probably mocking you because you bought it at a cheap price.
.. When you constantly have to tie your value to the worth of the material stuff you own or wear...

Omoh, ground no level be that�

.GOOD NEWS!!!�
THERE IS A SOLUTION! ��

1. You’ve got to freaking love yourself because you are the real deal!
2. Seek professional help. I’ll strongly recommend Online Therapy. Simply get help from the comfort of your room.
>>CLICK>>�� https://www.online-therapy.com/?ref=277613

.YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Mindlog:


I have a strong interest in the world of children, what interests them, what bothers them, their emotional well-being, behavioural disorders, neurodevelopmental disorders etc, reason I am presently doing my specialty in Clinical Child Psychology.

Unresolved childhood issues transits to dysfunctional adults.

You are doing something generational.
We could collaborate...
Come share your professional view on my channel.
Would be amazing to work with you!

NarcissistKing:
Almost all Africans needs to visit a shrink.

My point exactly!
The bad thing about the trauma in Africa is we are made to see it as a way of life...

Kobojunkie:
We definitely need to start speaking out even against cultural norms that help perpetuate a lot of the ills in our society

Mad sense!!!
Let's use our platform and be as vocal as possible!

Mindlog:


After investing resources in getting trained and certified as a psychotherapist, one would naturally lean towards countries that appreciates the skillset and offers better remuneration package.

I commend the OP for the thread.

This is totally correct.
I strongly believe that you can seek better offers for your skillset and still be a blessing if you genuinely love what you do for the right reasons.
Growing up with a mum who is a nurse and a midwife, one thing i asked God for was her level of passion and dedication to serve first.
She's been retired for over 6 years but still takes on community projects.

I had a rough childhood, i see so many sick adults with obvious childhood issues.
I just want to help in my own capacity by creating awareness about childhood struggles.

Kobojunkiee:
Even the therapists first need therapy of their own. How many truly open-minded Nigerians have you ever truly met.

I totally agree with you, one thing i know for sure is if people can embrace being vocal about some issues, mental health will get better.
Talking itself is a therapy.

AMumAndMore:
All Nigerians need therapy. The more we come to terms with that fact, the better it is for all of us.

I wonder why there aren't as much therapists in Nigeria as there are doctors.

It's good to see someone committed to doing this work.

Thank you so much for your kind words, people just need better orientation around this topic.
Most people think therapy is for "mad" people.
The stigma needs to be unlearnt.

In its simple form, Emotions are your feelings.
People feel happy, sad, angry, dread, etc.
While Trauma is wound.
Put together, I am talking about the involuntary feelings of hurt from your childhood.
The unforgettable memory or experiences from your childhood that has turned you into this angry, difficult, irritable person.
Childhood trauma is as real as the air you breath.

Growing up in Africa already saddled with a lot of environmental difficulties is hell of a trauma already.
Growing up in an intentionally loving home should help reduce some of these effects yeah, but what happens when the home becomes even more emotionally toxic?

We Would Have;
.. Adults with poor self esteem
.. Adults with attention problems
.. Adults with self destructive behaviors

Few days ago, I was watching 'SPEAK SIS' on Oprah Winfrey Network, an episode dealing with mental health, childhood trauma and healing.
So, this 31year old lady shared how she physically abused herself by heavy addiction to drugs, sex and alcohol as a result of her mental health problems which stemmed from a father who abandoned her, and having to grow up with a depressed mum.

No matter how much we live in denial or try to hide behind the curtains of black strength without accepting and dealing with childhood traumas, we will continue to raise emotionally sick people who were also raised by emotionally helpless parents.
And so goes the cycle.

I am an adult with childhood emotional traumatic experiences,yeah?
Currently going through healing, I am allowing myself to be vulnerable by accepting my truth.
Too many individuals pursuing careers because they want to prove a point to their parents or siblings as a result of the comparison they were subjected to at childhood. Growing up to become people pleasers and always measuring their success in life against others.

Recently, something happened to me that reminded me of a childhood memory I thought I had moved on from. A friend with a tall, big stature as my dad jokingly refused to hug me. Something that was natural between us. I suddenly felt so rejected, the feeling of rejection was quite intense. So much that I started to beg him not to leave without hugging me.

Apparently, few months before I turned 10years old, I did amazing in the Common Entrance Examinations that my teacher had to bring my results home.
At the time, there was the Entrance Exams first, then the interview.
The first exams, 22 persons passed from my school while only 9 persons qualified for the next stage of which I was the overall second best and the only female.
I think it was the second result my teacher brought over because I remember being really jumpy!
When he told me, I ran to tell my dad who was lying in his bed.
The moment I jumped on my dad to share the good news, he immediately put me down and warned me sternly never to hug him or any man like that ever again in my life....
It's been over 20 years now and it's the last time I came that close to my dad.
Sitting beside him even now would mean there are no others seats and standing would rather be awkward.
I cannot deny how difficult it is recounting this right now. Need I mention that touch is my love language?

Parents who shut their kids up, ordering them every now and then, whose kids are not allowed to choose clothes or colors, who believe other kids or people above their kids are only breeding adults for tomorrow who would be in relationships, have beautiful ideas that could help their companies but would never speak because they lost that voice at childhood.
It is only civil that I request that parents seek knowledge to bring up their children better before you destroy your child out of ignorance.

As an adult survivor of childhood emotional trauma, you can get help no matter how old you are.

You can start with talking about it by subscribing to my Talk Therapy.
I liken talk therapy to a flowing river. The more you let out, the more you are refreshed! Talk about your story, talk about your journey, talk about your process to healing, let out your frustrations and your fails by talking to someone.
You can reach me NOW via the link in the description if you ever need to talk to someone.

[url]. Find Here More Contents Dealing With Childhood Traumas, Experiences, and Memories // Expert Opinions and Parenting Tips : https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Ever Need Someone To Talk To, You Should Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy
[/url]

Hi, Hi!
I really would want to tell you my name,but i don't think its necessary since you got your descriptions about me.
Tout, agbero, dan iska...
It doesn't really matter anymore.
I see you everyday..
NO!
I am mad,i am angry!!!
You know nothing!
Your actions have turned me into this strange adult with no childhood Innocence.
I steal from you with no mercy!
I kidnap your precious kids without regrets!
I take up terrorism and thuggery when I'm offered because i lost my conscience!
I WAS THE CHILD ON YOUR STTREET!

Oh, I Remember!
When I came close to you at the traffic, you wound up your glasses scolding your innocent kids not to smile at me.
You called on me to help with your chores and offered me left overs unhealthy for your dogs.
You burdened me with your loads in the parks and markets with disdain for a haggled amount.
I WAS THE CHILD ON YOUR STTREET!

Honestly,i don't blame you!!
I don't blame you at all!
Here's something i want you to think about!
I was not born on the street,
Life happened...
I am the child that was abandoned because i was tagged "un wanted" Pregnancy!
I am the child that ran away from my rich father's house but didn't feel i had a home because of a step mother!
I am the child that parents didn't care how i live, feed or cloth,because there was no family planning!
I am the child that couldn't bear years of sexual molestation from my uncle and his son!
I am the orphan that stayed with relatives that thought hawking was my predestination!

I never liked that i was unkempt?
Neither did I like my stench.
I psychologically lost my sense of smell when it became about only survival.
I heard your "God forbids" severally, many you did literally spitting in my face.
I WAS THE CHILD ON YOUR STTREET
Currently with no education, no legal source of income, I'm sorry I can't even share how I survive.
This path I'm on, there's no peace.
I lost my conscience in some of my actions and now nightmares stolen my sleep.
Help me save the only family I got NOW.
THE CHILD ON YOUR STREET!

THE CHILD ON YOUR STTREET!
He tells me that every time someone smiles at him, treats him kindly, it feels his heart with so much hope.
He prays daily that his story changes for the better so he could have a better life like the ones your kids have.
He has lost friends, lost friends to sickness, accidents, rituals and trafficking but there are no official records of these because in his words, we're just children on the streets.
When it's cold, he is alone.
When it's raining, he's in it.
When he falls sick or get injured, there's no one to at least say, ... sorry.
THE CHILD ON YOUR STTREET.

You may not be responsible for putting him in his situation but please don't make it any worse.
If you find it so hard to be kind to him, would you at least turn your eyes away from him?
THE CHILD ON YOUR STREET.


(Hysterical Laughter��)
MAYBE IT'S YOUR CHILD ON THE STTREET!

The child you abandoned in the orphanage.
The grandchild your child got rid of out of shame to save your position in church.
Maybe the child who strayed away from home that you've been looking for, for years!
You want one of them in your marriage yet you treat their kind with so much disdain.
I AM THE CHILD ON THE STTREET.
YOUR CHILD ON THE STTREET!


My name is Ochanya D'mprez,

The STTREET IS EVERYWHERE THERE IS A LESS PRIVILEGED CHILD LOOKING TO YOU FOR HOPE.

Every Childhood is important.
Your contribution to any childhood is equally significant.

[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy[/url]

Polynek:
Nice

Thanks Poly nek��

Today's episode is titled "YOU DONT EXPLAIN"!
More like playing numb. Something about shutting the noise from people who care less about you and whose thoughts about you can't pay the bills. For someone with a history of childhood trauma, you may find out later about yourself that you have taken a path in your adult phase influenced by your childhood. I am talking about your attitude, your behavior, your set values, your moral perspective... Shutting the noise out from people who may misjudge you every now and then is something you have to be intentional about.
A suggestion, YOU DONT EXPLAIN!
While these decisions may be consciouly taken, there are times they are taken out of fear, anxiety, or even ignorance.
Permit me to share a recent experience with you. So, I was talking to someone around my neighborhood yeah who I see once in a while, apparently we've been neigbours for about a year. This day was our first time of proper "hellos", got to know names and some two hours of chit chat.
From our little conversation, I understood that he percieved me to be a loner, not sociable, prolly a homosexual too because in his words "I have never seen you with a man"
I went over our chat that night which is not unusual of me just to properly capture his thoughts in my colors. One thing was clear, his opinion of me was no news as this would not be the second or last time I would be perceived that way.
Sometimes, people's opinions are correct other times they are wrong. One constant thing though, our perspectives will always be parallel. I honestly just forgive them in advance if their thoughts don't go down well with me.
Back to shutting the noise. As an adult survivor of childhood trauma, sometimes it will be difficult for people to understand why you are the way you are!
You may even come across as archaic or boring in your doings.

Listen to me warrior, I tell you one thing today, no one is you, you went through what you went through in your childhood yourself! Whatever decision you take or make to ensure a better adulthood, you've got to stay resolute no matter how unpopular your methods may come across to other people. Your drive and attitude may be different towards life, it's okay! As long as you know it will make you happier, live peacefully with a better story to your heart's content
It is not that you are weird, no!
It is just that you do not want to lose the power of choice you didn't quite have in your childhood again.
You want to be intentional and have a better adulthood.
.. It is okay if you choose a quiet, serene life if you've had it rough and noisy in your childhood
.. It is absolutely okay if you want to take time to heal from your sexual abuse before you go into a romantic relationship.
.. It is okay if you don't go to clubs, bars or environments that trigger memories you want to keep behind you.
Please don't be hard on yourself or try to seek validation from people who have no idea what you have been through or are trying to do with your life!
You deserve to choose the direction of your life now.
As a matter of fact, see yourself as living the life, someone who is concerned about public health making the list of prayer warriors for the society one point less!
Okay I'm joking... All I'm saying is, these opinions may trigger emotions you might feel but can't explain. Learn to consciously live your life on your terms by shutting the noise! You deserve it. You need to do that for your empowerment and self growth.

THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION TO SHUT THE NOISE OUT.

1. FEAR: do not choose to live a certain way because you are afraid that you may ruin things for yourself. You've got to live past your childhood trauma consciously. Do not say no to love because you are afraid they will abuse you like your childhood abusers.
It's okay, test the waters gradually but don't pressure yourself.
2. ANXIETY: Hey, listen to me, that your parents had a bad marriage doesn't mean you will and you will not with the right mentality. You will be an amazing parent! You will not ruin anything. You do not have to be apprehensive about future events before they happen.
It's okay, go on that date, accept the proposal, make babies, you won't ruin it.
3. IGNORANCE: Dr. David Oyedepo once said, there is no problem anywhere, only a mountain of ignorance.
Please do not commit to a life path on assumptions and ignorance. Do not conclude that you cannot have babies now because of your childhood sexual molestation without a proper medical examination. Whichever way you choose to live your life, please do not make ignorant decisions as a result of your childhood trauma.

HELP YOU COULD NEED TO COMFORTABLY SHUT THE NOISE OUT

1. GOOD FRIENDS: The presence of good friends who would always want the best for you is great to help with some decisions. Friends who would look out for you and spur you to have fun. I personally need someone to literally drag me out to some nice spots because I am too comfortable in my space!
2. YOU: While you may need friends to encourage you once in a while, you honestly need you to decide, make the effort to improve your life. No one can do it for you!
3. POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT: as much as possible, make conscious decisions to keep your environment healthy and positive. If you stay around toxic people, there is every possibility that you may choose a lifestyle contrary to what you need. You may have lost your childhood, but you have an opportunity now to make a difference in your adulthood. Let what you hear, see, where you live, the energy you permit around you drive you in the right direction. And You've got this!
4. TALK THERAPY: I deeply recommend my Talk therapy: I liken talk therapy to a flowing river. The more you let out, the more you are refreshed! Talk about your story, talk about your journey, talk about your process to healing, let out your frustrations and your fails by talking to someone.

[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy
[/url]

10mobile:
How to get out of the MAIZE? Just roast it and eat, lol!

You've written very well. Believe me, you are only whom you believe you are. If you believe you were abused, then, you were. Otherwise, you weren't. In fact, EVERY 9 IN 10 AFRICAN WAS ABUSED AS A CHILD, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. How to roast the 'maize' is to believe it doesn't exist. I am flying in case you don't know... even though life tried to clip my wings.

While I think you have a valid point, it is best one addresses childhood abuse.
It goes a long way in affecting adulthood one way or the other.

The challenge of most young Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma today about clarity of purpose isn't that we do not know what to do with our lives, but the bravery to stand for what we know we should be doing with our lives.

.. That you were born and raised in poverty is not a prerequisite that poverty's been handed over to you generationally.
.. That you have been sexually abused and emotionally violated is not an invitation to maintain the high table of bitterness, anger and pessimism.
.. The loss of your parents or guardian did not open the door to hell

I tell you the bitter truth, little by little you built a wall, then a fence, and a cage...
Now there is a MAZE!
A maze that you solely designed and have to find a way out.

Some five years ago, I realized how much I yearned for genuine freedom, peace and happiness.
I knew exactly what I wanted but breaking out of this mental cage of uncertainty, confusion and societal validation was for me, attempting the impossible maze like Mr Beast.
My mum used to say that the best advice taken is the one an individual gives to himself. She'd occasionally mention also that after a child is born, the child has to birth itself again. More like discovering for yourself PURPOSE.
These statements only made sense when I started efforts towards creating contents around unexpressed childhood emotions targeted at Adult Survivors Of Childhood Abuse because I genuinely want kids now to have it better than I did growing up.
Regardless of how it'd make me look, It deeply made me happy to run an orientation about childhood struggles by sharing my experiences without having to hide a thing.
Truth be told, the normal thing for an individual abused at Childhood is to sulk and wallow in everything that has happened against him or her hoping to get sympathy from people around.

As amazingly easy as that sounds, it can never be legit!
Good people may share in your pain for a couple of minutes until lunch time and you are left alone again. Others who cannot relate to your childhood struggles or trauma would choose to think you have an ulterior motive to get cheap attention.
Guess what, there is a large community of people who can actually relate to you 100% but choose to form ignoramus for fear of stigmatization, getting judged or losing validation from people who barely notice them.

I am fully aware that just like a walk through a gameplay, as honest as my intentions are to draw parents attention towards their children and see how they can ensure better childhood, there are people listening to me right now who think I am all about cheap attention and who feel I am being irresponsible by sharing my stories of childhood abuse and traumas!
Choosing to find clarity of purpose for your existence is the biggest self help you can actually gift yourself.

This Maze you've built around yourself out of ignorance, you've got to find a way out!
I tell you today, your childhood trauma, experiences, abuse, loss, lack cannot hold you back except you empower it for that.

Challenge yourself to bravery.
You have got to move out of this emotional, psychological, physical and mental maze of self pity you find your self.
I don't care for how long you've been there, you may not discover you immediately, but as long as you remain restless to find a way out, I am certain that revelation will break forth and you will find that light you are looking for.
You have a second chance at life, but only you can rewrite a new chapter about it.

I realized as I began to genuinely love myself with all of the childhood scars, other people saw them as beauty marks.
Heaven bear me witness, there is only one You!
You've got to step into your light because you've got a whole audience waiting for you to perform!
Break through today!

[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy
[/url]

Whatever God created out of you, its for a purpose!
There is someone out there looking to have your exact frame.
I'm sure some physically disabled people would rather have what you have than the daily struggles some good through.
What you should do is look to God for purpose.
YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOMELY CREATED MASTERPIECE���.
My name is Ochanya D'mprez

The holy bible in Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time for everything. There is that time for sexual activity if you desire to get married and raise a family. What if that desire feels like a mirage because you can't get past sexual anxiety as a result of your childhood sexual abuse? Wouldn't you make an effort to see that your desire is a reality?.

Whatever anxiety, fear you feel is not unusual. What you shouldn't allow to happen though is that you let it truncate your beautiful dream.
Truth be told, sex in marriage is a big deal. And there will be lots of it for as long as you'd love to stay married and fair to your spouse. What is a bigger deal is that you look forward to it as love making and not some responsibility you dread.

Before I made the decision to be celibate, the few times I had sex, one thing was undeniable.
Anxiety.
There was never a single time I was genuinely restful and emotionally present during sex.
As a matter of fact, the first time I had sex as an adult, I was in a really bad place... I was battling so much with me at the time.
Apparently, it felt like a conspiracy then that every program I attended, purity and virginity had to be the focus. My dad on the other hand wouldn't stop to blame me for for my childhood molestation.
You know, thinking about it now how he'd always say I seduced my abuser way before I turned 10years old, still baffles me.

So, here I was caught in a maze!
Waking up to a dad who called me a prostitute at the slightest provocation, going off to church programs where everyone except me was pure, and for the love of God I still do not remember the first time I was sexually molested!
The first time after a two year relationship, I hoped that prolly for a miracle maybe my hymen wasn't broken yet and I can have "my first time" story of blood.

You know, as a warrior of whatever childhood trauma you may have had, to successfully go through healing and have a better adulthood, there is that point you've got to face realities.
This time around, you CANNOT allow anxiety to get in the way of your happiness.

ANXIETY TRIGGERS

For someone who was sexually molested at childhood, there are triggers you should pay attention to walk through sexual anxiety.

1. Lingering Childhood Sexual Trauma: for as long as you have the wrong picture about sex as a result of your childhood trauma, you may find it difficult to enjoy sex. The first thing i'd suggest is to consciously unlearn the thoughts you have. Listen to music, read books and watch movies that potrays sex respectfully and mutually. As much as you can stay away from news that would remind you of your past while you are trying to heal. One thing helping me daily is that I am very particular of the pictures I allow into my mind.
You have got to be super protective of your mind to make a headway with this.

2. The Partner Involved: One thing I know for sure, a partner who is aware of your sexual trauma and genuinely cares would go the extra mile to make you feel comfortable. While you are intentional about a partner who would walk this path with you, you have got to try as much as possible to be open minded. Suggest to them ways you feel would keep you at ease.
You want longer pre-intimacy, say it!
You want lubricant, say it!
While you are healing is not when you may want to be with some Adolf hitler who's got no joy! Or a selfish being who wants to make a porn star out of you from the word go! Please take time to find you a safe place.

3. The Environment: I am big on the environment sex should happen. If you are dealing with the mental picture of feeling like an object during sex, the least you would want to happen is have sex randomly in some corner trying so hard not to be caught!
Geez, there's no way you are getting rid of sexual anxiety like that! NO WAY!
Picture this, imagine a properly scented room with some Mariah Carey, Brandy or Backstreet music.
And there's this really really nice bed with sheets calling for your back!
Lawd, tell me where anxiety will be after you've had some chocolate and milk with some sweet smelling guy telling you "Babe, it's okay if you are not ready, I'll wait" Damn!
"Sistur", if you can find you a partner who gets it and can be intentional about the environment with you respectfully? You would be singing good hymns in no time!

4. Your Moral/ Religious Perspective: From a personal experience, the reason for anxiety sometimes is because it doesn't sit well with you morally or religiously. One of the things that informed my decision to be celibate is the growing relationship I have with God. For the times I had sex, I'd always feel guilty. This may not be you but it could be a factor. If you are someone who values religious uprightness, and want to do well to keep the bed undefiled till marriage, please do. Be sure though that this could be the reason for your sexual anxiety as an adult.

WHAT YOU COULD DO TO DEAL WITH SEXUAL ANXIETY

1. Accept Responsibility: Playing the victims card will only keep you stagnated away from the beautiful life of love making and marital fulfilment.
You've got to accept responsibility and do the needful towards your healing process.

2. Be Ready To Learn And Learn: as akward as it may seem sometimes, you have to take conscious step towards learning about sex. Learn and pay attention to your body. How do you genuinely feel and want to be touched when you are Hot?
You have got to change the picture you have about sex. Read for knowledge and self growth. Learn about Libido and sex styles that would help you relax until you are ready to have sex

3. Be Open And Honest: One of the things youve got to be intentional about is finding a partner you can be honest with about your struggles. A friend who wouldn't judge you or make you feel less. Someone who would be patient and be ready to walk through your journey. You should never beg to be valued!
You are a fighter and a warrior! Except you are ready to have your story public like me, make sure you have ascertained the level of friendship and maturity of a potential partner before you open up about your sexual anxieties.
Protect you and look out for you!

4. Seek Professional Help: When you have consciously tried to deal with sexual anxieties and it's prolly taking too long for you to deal with, please seek professional help. Sometimes, just talking to someone helps a great deal. I'll recommend my TALK THERAPY for a start.
There's a link in the description you should check out.

5. Wait For The Right Time: When something is right, it will always feel right! You know, rather than trying to figure everything out at once. Make room to build yourself productively and responsibly until you know you are ready to commit to a serious relationship or marriage.
Quit trying to seek validation sexually from one partner to the other.

6. Pray: Prayer for me is not all about closing your eyes, kneeling to mutter words to God at a particular time of the day. Prayer is way deeper and more spiritual than that.
Prayer for me is yearning deeply for something that even while you are at sleep, the universe can hear your yearns loud and clear.

Few years ago I had this dream that is still very vivid in my mind. I woke up from that dream crying with physical tears. It was a dream I had about a family friend who is very happy in her marriage. There were having an amazing family time that I told God not to allow me miss it in marriage. I do not want my kids to grow up in the kind of home I did.

Write the things you want to happen about your sexual life on sticky notes where you can see them! Affirm to yourself daily that your past is your past and you will have an amazing sexual life with your spouse.
Your relationship with your spouse will not be sour because of sexual anxieties!
Your dream of an amazing family will be a reality because you are a WARRIOR!
This is just another warfare that you will win the medal!

My name is OCHANYA D'MPREZ and this is KIDS UNSAID!

[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy
[/url]

As an adult survivor of child abuse, there are no legit words to describe your worth, value, strength appropriately.
Like the pieces of a puzzle,every single thing you went through in your childhood is instrumental to the master piece that you have become today.
You are strong, a fighter, a warrior, and are no mean person at all! What could have easily destroyed someone else, you went through in grand style.
What is your story?
You were sexually molested, abandoned by your parents,maltreated by family members? bullied by peers, lost your parents at childhood, did poverty feast on you so bad that you had to assume responsibility before you even had a chance to become a child, did you battle depression that recovery feels alien, was it that your environment was so toxic that there was no form of care, compassion, love, did your parents have such a bad marriage that you never want to get married, was it that you got pregnant and cannot fully express how that's changed your life?
Memory fail me, I may not have mentioned your experience and I know first hand how childhood trauma can make you a sick adult, but you have got to empty out all of the bitterness, pain, hatred and unforgiveness.
You may say, Ochanya you have no idea what I've had to go through... You are absolutely correct!
I honestly do not know.
I also know that you can't do anything about your past but you can do something about right now. Wallowing in self pity won't change a thing.

[b]Right now is the time!
Time for a new release, time to release the toxins, no more space for negativity and guilt, you do not have to waste emotional energy anymore. Some childhood trauma may be so hard and it's okay to take your time to heal. You may not get over it just yet, but you can get past it!
Here is something I know about you for sure, out of your pain can come your purpose!, there are people's release, destinies tied to you! You cannot afford to stay down! God cannot give you more than you can take

You have got to make room right now.
Make room to receive mercy from the only God who can chart the perfect path for you.
Make room for forgiveness because like stagnant water, unforgiveness will only fill you with infection and filth.
Today, like a little child in a candy store let your anticipation for a better life be strongly visible.
I tell you, people who have no idea what you have had to deal with may have judged you wrongly for being weird, withdrawn and insecured. Fight through the crowd of myopic naysayers. Do not hide no more.
Own your scars because they are your beauty marks!
Can't you see you have so much potential you awesomely, carefully created being?[/b]
See the living legends you share similar stories with.
Oprah was molested and got pregnant by 14 but stand as one of the most influential black woman today
Joyce meyer, was molested by her own dad and is now a successful renowned preacher
Cardi B in order to escape poverty, and abuse became a stripper to fend for herself. See what she has done with a career in music.
At 10years of age, Tyler Perry was sexually molested by a friends mother, and three others later on in his teenage years. He grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive father and watched his parents have a toxic marriage. The last time I checked and I stand to be corrected he is the most expensive person in the entertainment industry.
Here is something they all have in common, their misery is the message they are currently monetizing!
For your sake, mercy said NO!
Forgive for your freedom
For your shame you will have double
Let go and receive beauty for ashes
I tell you for free, your childhood trauma cannot define you!
Fill yourself with so much goodness until it overflows.
Today, I pray that you find peace without understanding and if you could choose, please touch Jesus with expectancy and watch him change your experience.
To the adult survivor of child abuse, your scars are your beauty marks, OWN IT!

I deeply recommend my Talk therapy: I liken talk therapy to a flowing river. The more you let out, the more you are refreshed! Talk about your story, talk about your journey, talk about your process to healing, let out your frustrations and your fails by talking to someone.


[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy [/url]

[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy [/url]

Addiction is a compulsive act that damages you in the long run. It alters ones life normal development even sometimes at the detriment of others.
Unwilling addiction from childhood as a result of abuse, toxic environment or coersion can destroy any promising adult. Addictions such as smoking, drinking, strange sexual habits, stealing as the case may be can alter the course of ones life.
Discovering I was hypersexual after my childhood molestation was the most difficult thing to cope with at the time. I went from being sexually abused by a male family member to a boarding school where lesbianism was suggested to me by older females. The struggle to keep it together sexually was high. I remember moments when I couldn't control it and caught myself touching my sister while she slept, I did this to a younger male cousin too... God, it didn't feel right!
Like someone stuck in a maze of confusion, I cried terribly one time because I didn't understand what was happening with me. I told myself I couldn't molest someone else to have them go through this pain. It was at this point I found comfort in masturbation. All of these happened before I was 15 years of age.

Let's identify some scenarios that could lead to picking up addictions at childhood.

1. Sexual Abuse: sexual molestation at childhood could expose one to a clinical hypersexuality. This negative devotion to sex may be uncontrollable for some sexual abuse survivors that they have to have multiple sexual partners. There are persons who do not care when, how and where as long as they can just satisfy that strong urge. This addiction may affect their work or general productivity.
2. Drug Abuse: the abuse of drugs by some adults stem from such exposure at childhood. Some persons in their childhood were made to go on drug errands for family members and friends, there are cases of children who are forced to take alcohol,hard drugs or smoke for the viewing pleasure of their abusers. They grow up to become helpless addicts and letting go is almost impossible. For children conceived by mothers who are drug addicts they come out as natural addicts.
3. Forced Influence: From coersion and blackmail at childhood, we have stories of robbers, killers forced into these acts by abusers and bullies in the family or environment. Kidnapped children and orphans are sold out to some of these kingpins. There are children who are schooled by their parents or guardians to pick pockets at very tender ages until they become professional robbers.
4. Conditional Acquired Habits: One time I listened to an orphan, less than 10 years of age who had to cater for his younger ones. The only way they got by was stealing. Stories like these are dominant in the slums. Children are exposed to such level of hardships that they'd do just anything to survive. These conditional habits become an addiction for some that they do not know any other way to live.
5. Toxic Environment: toxic environment characterised by all kinds of vices can influence addiction. I am talking pornography, gambling, weapons....
Breaking off childhood addiction is like beating a family addiction curse. While some may take time to deal with, healing is possible!

Lets Talk Suggested Ways In Dealing With Childhood Addiction

1. Identify the roots
When you are able to trace the roots of addiction, handling it becomes easier. Important questions to ask in dealing with childhood addiction "how did it all start"?, what influenced the addiction?
2. Avoid the victims card: you know it is very easy to blame everyone and everything when we talk about childhood addiction yeah. The fastest way to deal with childhood addiction is to tell yourself you are not a victim! Tell yourself you are a survivor and a warrior! Tell yourself, no matter what led to your addiction from childhood, your adulthood will be different!
3. Resolve to change your story: the day you resolve to change your story, the universe begins to work in your favor. I know you had it rough against your will. No matter how far you have gone on the wrong path, you can always turn back to take the right path. You've got to be resolute in your determination to change your story.
4. Seek and accept help: Dealing with childhood addiction may not be easy for you to deal with. Sometimes, you've got to seek professional help. There are non governmental organizations who could help with therapy and rehabilitation. You could browse about those in your location. You've got to accept that you need help and you will accept whatever help is necessary to free you of whatever addiction you have from your childhood.
5. Fall 7 times: Addiction from childhood is not something you'd get rid of in a day. Give room for the times you will fail while trying to change your story. If you are dealing with addictions such as hypersexuality, stealing, or drug use, you will have to give yourself time. This may take gradual withdrawal. I need you to know that, as long as you are willing to deal with that addiction from childhood, there is always a way!
Don't just give up on yourself when you fall every now and then. I strongly believe you can do it! You will do it! You have done it! The world is waiting to SEE YOU! Don't keep us waiting for long!
6. Talk therapy: I liken talk therapy to a flowing river. The more you let out, the more you are refreshed! Talk about your story, talk about your journey, talk about your process to healing, let out your frustrations and your fails by talking to someone.

[url]. Please Subscribe To My YouTube Channel Here: https://youtube.com/c/OCHANYADMPREZ

If You Need Someone To Talk To, You Can Reach Me Now! https://paystack.com/buy/talk-therapy-wjmlcy [/url]

Franzinni:
nice to see you have a positive outlook on things ... life is all about perspectives and I like your perspective on the matter, may God who created you to be among the living, guide and bring you to fulfill his total purpose for your life. Amen you are blessed and a blessing ... shine bright! I will check the YouTube channel out ... have a wonderful evening and a spirit filled life ..in Jesus Mighty Name Amen.

AMEN!!!
God bless you immensely too!