Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,194,201 members, 7,953,742 topics. Date: Friday, 20 September 2024 at 02:30 AM

Kingtim's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Kingtim's Profile / Kingtim's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (of 16 pages)

Crime / Re: Xenophobia: Nigerians Attacked In South Africa Again (Photos) by Kingtim(m): 6:54pm On Oct 22, 2019
Commentor:


Shut up.

Can your father prevent you from slapping your schoolmate?
v

1 Like 1 Share

Crime / Re: Couple Found Dead In Their Home In Niger State (photos) by Kingtim(m): 5:46pm On Aug 21, 2019
Hi I

1 Like 2 Shares

TV/Movies / Re: Sky News Reports On Khafi Having Sex In BBNaija House by Kingtim(m): 12:53pm On Aug 13, 2019
Eya
NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 7:36pm On Jul 30, 2019
Legendguy:


Pls can u give me your number or you can chat me up, or anybody that went with stream
I ' m scheduled to go with stream 2 . I was posted to Kaduna. I need info on some certain things
08169283082
08112904658
NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 7:27pm On Jul 30, 2019
Modarun:
if you still dey KD. drop ne your digits make we hang out.
08112904658
NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 11:47am On Jul 30, 2019
BoboKush:


Thanks.... Was abt stressing masef wen people said u wil need it a parade group..... Thank God it nt necessary
not really. Just that you are bound to get thirsty standing under the hot sun for hours. So getting a bottled water before parade is not a bad idea. But if you can stay for two three hours without water, you got no problem

1 Like 1 Share

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 9:30am On Jul 30, 2019
BoboKush:



Abeg is water bottle necessary for camp?
nop

1 Like

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 8:02pm On Jul 29, 2019
Why you dey run like rat? he replied saying na soldiers na and they are coming to chase us to go and gather in the hall. So you better go and dress up before they come here if not na your boxers you go take go the gathering. I looked at him and said guy Shey fowl shit for your brain. Which kind nonsenses talk dey comot from your mouth so. Abi you want make I change am for you? I said furiously.
In fact I wan change am for you like this, then after i go change am for the army man wey dey blow that biggle, then una go know say na crase man come here. The guy just left without saying a word. As he was leaving I said within "Shey suffer nor go kill this man so"? Very anyhow somebody. I just went inside, and wore another top on top of my dirty and itching body. Like I haven't even had my bath sef. So I was so annoyed. I went inside the hall. Looking very angry. I just sat down somewhere close to the exit.
I was just so restless because my blockus and other part of my body was just itching me.
Make Una allow person go hostel na. Local man need to shower. I lamented..

6 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 8:01pm On Jul 29, 2019
Well I slept a while after finishing my food. And soon it was already past four. The biggle was blown again for evening parade. This time around I never felt bothered because I'm getting used to the exercise already.
I just took my cap and walked out of the hostel straight to the parade ground. We just stood there under the scotching sun singing the nysc anthem and obeying pre pre shun up and down. As usual some people fainted. And soon we were done. Not quiet long they blew biggle for lunch. They were sharing Eba and Egusi soup. But since I don't eat eba that much and also scared that the soup might kill me, I just went straight to mami to eat. I stayed around for some time, and only started moving when it was getting too dark and cold. I went back in the hostel, picked up some of my dirty clothes to wash. I looked at my time it was 7:55pm. I went out to the front of my hostel with just my boxers ready do some laundry job. I just soaked the clothes and sat down waiting for a while before I start washing again. Before I knew it, I heard another biggle sound "Kaduna Kaduna why you nor go sokoto".
I was confused and shouted , which one be this na? Then one guy said guy na social gathering o. Oh I exclaimed smiling then replied him saying they should go that am not socialized so I won't go. I wanted to return to my washing when one mad man ran inside our hostel telling those inside that soldier is coming o. I called him outside and told him, Guy wetin dey sup with you na?

4 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 7:59pm On Jul 29, 2019
Lynnuel:
Lolzzzz
I love u baby timity...
lol Chizzy so you have an account here. ����
NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 6:26pm On Jul 29, 2019
More updates coming soon
NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 2:41pm On Jul 29, 2019
sheepishly. I was now eager to learn because I have heard uku ��. That's by the way. Soon morning meditation was off and it's time for breakfast. I just got to the hostel to get my bucket to take my bath. Soon I'm done. I just strolled to where the kitchen is to see what's up. I saw some women with petty beverages just sitting directly facing the kitchen and at first I thought they were working with the kitchen. I looked up and saw those serving. This official poured something that looks whitish in a Corp member's cup. And gave him one kind of funny looking bread. As the guy was coming back I ask him guy, why are they taking the hot water at that point and taking milk and bournvita at another point(those women with petty beverages) the guy just smiled and said. No o guy. Na the tea be this. Those going to those women are going to buy extra milk and Milo.. I looked at him and said guy, Shey you Dey whine me ni?☹️. He said no o guy am serious.. As he said that I just remembered the acronym NYSC. And as my senior would say. Nysc, now your suffer continues. I just left pitifully and went straight to mami to get bread and akara in company of my friends Armstrong and Kelz. Soon we were back at the hostel eating and discussing... ➡️➡️

4 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 2:39pm On Jul 29, 2019
towards the direction. Perhaps someone has fainted, I said to a guy. Boom the Red Cross people are already running back with a girl on their stretcher. Why is this one fainting na.. It's just passed 5am, and it's not even yet time for breakfast I said within. Wetin come dey do this one now I said aloud. Then one girl told me guy you know some people have one or two ailments and if they get stressed up too much, things like this are always bound to happen. I just said well thats true. It wasn't even up to five minutes another one follwed suit... We were still in heat of the parade when the worst happened, a guy has faited o I heard silently. What came out from my mouth next was, is this guy playing prank on us or he just wants to be unfortunate in life I said angrily. If na so, tomorrow I Go faint my own since its now looking like they planned this thing to evade morning parade. Some people around me just laughed and said guy nor mind them joor. Alas we were done with the morning parade. We were told to go and gather in. A hall for morning meditation. I got there and was sleeping All through I never heard or learnt one thing in the morning meditation till I left camp. Except for the day they were teaching us Hausa language and the teacher told us the number three is called uku in Hausa. The moment I heard uku. I got up so fast. Others were happy and laughing ➡️➡️

12 Likes 1 Share

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 2:37pm On Jul 29, 2019
Soon we were at the parade ground, it was pretty dark and cold too. I saw some corpers of the opposite sex already hugging them selves happily. I was suprised. Like this is the third day and some people have this connection already? I said within. Well that not my problem I just waved it off. Soon parade commander was in front again, and the next Thing I heard was pre pre shun! This time around I was especting it, so I tried to move as Commanded when the warri devil in me said guy Afa na. Don't try to tell me you wanna learn this thing and they will still end up paying you 19800 the idiot was still talking to me when I heard people laughing from a far end, I also saw red cross running ➡️➡️

4 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 2:08pm On Jul 29, 2019
Wow.. I'm feeling happy right now with the mentions I'm getting. Too bad I can't reply all of your comments. I reallly appreciate Both your positive and negative comments. More coming updates coming!

4 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 2:05pm On Jul 29, 2019
donviso:

What do we get from the likes of you? What happened to constructive criticism? This guy's story is relatable and evokes memories of the NYSC Camp days..
Dear @Kingtim, I can't wait to see you continue this story thread.. It's just a wonderful mix of satire, adventure, and a recollection of memories that most of us have passed through.
thanks sir.

1 Like

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 1:59pm On Jul 29, 2019
hotspice29:
grin grin grin
Funny guy. Your pen is as crazy as it is hilarious. You paint the picture so well with words. You should think of writing articles for some funny magazine. The kind of funny stuffs I read in hints magazine or better lover magazine.
Oya bashers.... Make una kee me. Na una holy pass.
thanks sir

1 Like

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 1:55pm On Jul 29, 2019
TechCapon:
nice, which app u use for the screenshots?
it's normal screen shot from my what'sapp story
NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 9:51pm On Jul 28, 2019
I saw some people rushing to take their bath, others where already on their white on white. Some even had their shoes on while lying on the bed like sacrificial lambs. They just can't wait for the biggle to be Blown so that they can rush to parade ground. Me I was still in my boxers covered in the wrapper my mom gave to me ��. I looked at those running heketa seketa and those already on their costumes and said within. Na suffer go kill Una ���. I wanted to enter under my wrapper back again because it was fucking cold. I had barely covered up fully when I heard move out! Move out! I checked to see if it was one of us trying to play pranks, lemme swear curse on him☹️☹️. It was when I saw an army man that it dawned on me that Las Las na all of us suffer go kill here. ��. I hissed and reached out for my bag searching for my white top i wore the previous evening with my short already at my reach. I hurriedly put them on. And was walking majestically to the parade ground when I heard one soldier shouted. ONTONDO! where are you going to without your cap. I just turned and checked if it was me or another person he was referring to. And he shouted again white fowl I'm talking to you. Why are you looking behind you. Oh God son this one isba neccesity too, but I am not a cap guy na I lamented within. I just jejely went back to get my cap. Because am not in the mood to beat up any soldier.

51 Likes 2 Shares

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 9:49pm On Jul 28, 2019
Busy munching it with spoon so happily... Me I wanted to cry , like you can see the disgust in my face but I just consoled my self and said silently, Timmy don't cry, you are a man. You have seen more than this. As this thought cross through my mind. I just remembered all the rubbish i have eaten as a student. From Julius's Egusi soup that that almost made me purge to death to ovo's beans that wasn't even burnt from under the pot but was tasting burnt. It is well I spoke silently. I just picked my towel and headed for the bathroom to shower. I came back after like 15minutes only to find ademola already sleeping. I just kept my bucket under the bed and wanted to stretch my body when my nose came in contact with ademola's yansh.�. I gasped for breath for the shocking smell I received. "WAIT, NA THIS BOY YANSH DEY SMELL SO ABI NA MY NOSE? ABEG I WANNA GO HOME" I lamented within. Since I am not sure yet whether it's the yansh or his bed that was smelling, I bent down and raised my head again to get a second check. This time around I almost collapsed. I said in my mind, oh God in heaven, why art thou forsaken me ���. Everything was now getting much much annoying. With noise coming from different angles of the hostel. Chibuike came around he was just at the side of my bonk with Marvin on top. We chatted a little At first I thought chibuike an igbo guy he was cool and normal. I didnt even know he doesn't have sense. Like this guy was chasing women up and down camp he was funny sha but he too like talk. This same idiot said I have a spiritual wife. Because he said he heard me sleep talking ���. I later got bored looking and listening to different people talking in the hostel. I just buried my head in my phone checking for updates on all social media apps. I haven't even seen like 50% of things on the internet before sleep came calling.. I just kept my phone and slept because it was even getting more cold. Like they said, That's Kaduna weather for you. I Prayed and slept. And boom it was already after 4 in the early hours of the morning.

30 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 7:44pm On Jul 28, 2019
I will start sharing write ups now. Rather than sharing screen shots.... I just hope you guys are loving my story. I am open to critiques. I am ready to improve. . Plus I need you guys to motivate me.. Like just comment and tell me to go on

71 Likes 2 Shares

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 7:41pm On Jul 28, 2019
Okumagbaboy
NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:35pm On Jul 28, 2019
Hh

9 Likes 1 Share

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:34pm On Jul 28, 2019
Ya

6 Likes 1 Share

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:26pm On Jul 28, 2019
Ba

11 Likes 1 Share

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:22pm On Jul 28, 2019
V

9 Likes 1 Share

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:21pm On Jul 28, 2019
He

8 Likes 2 Shares

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:21pm On Jul 28, 2019
........

8 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:20pm On Jul 28, 2019
..

7 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:20pm On Jul 28, 2019
....

6 Likes

NYSC / Re: My Funny Experience At Nysc Orientation Camp Black Gold Kaduna Kaduna by Kingtim(m): 5:19pm On Jul 28, 2019
.....

6 Likes 3 Shares

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (of 16 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 39
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.