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ENIMONEY: In Nigeria these days,having a good and fruitful relationship has become even harder than getting a job for many people! Lol.I have met many people throughout my study at the university and by listening to their complains about relationships I have come up with this list. without wasting much time;

(1)Being too Demanding on your boyfriend- i know many ladies would wanna eat me raw for saying this but a girl's got to say what a girls go to say(lol) Your boyfriend knows that he has to buy you stuff and give u money,he knows that its he's responsibility but I promise you,he doesn't really wanna hear u asking him. asking your boyfriend often for material things and cash will only make him feel like u are in it just for money...if its money u want make it clear,don't lead a good guy on..limit your demands ladies.

(2)RESPECT YOUR MAN- I don't know how most ladies pull this off but I get so sad when I see ladies talking rudely to their man. its just sad and I often wonder how they enjoy the relationship..I hear some ladies talking to their man on phone and I shake my head,I could argue that they are actually talking to their servants. How can u open your mouth and insult your man?? Seriously its wrong on many levels,if u don't respect your man,u are just chasing him away into the hands of another woman. he will get fed up and leave you one day..Talk to your man nicely,respect he's opinions, and he will certainly reciprocate.

(3)DO NOT ACT ALL INDEPENDENT AND FEMINIST(DOMINANT)- I know ladies of this generation all wanna be dominant,acting all independent and chanting the slogan"what a man can do a woman can do better" or "the man is the head,women are the neck holding it" and what not!! Being a real woman does not mean you have to be the one wearing the pants in the house or making all the decisions,being a real woman means respecting your man and being submissive,listen to him,take care of the home and making your marriage or relationship work..Have u noticed how divorce rates have increased in this generation? Its because the gender's have refused to know their place in a relationship,the bible spells it out clearly,a wife ought to be subject to the husband,listen to his decisions and if u don't like any of them or have a better idea,subtly lay it out to him and make him see your point of view,not by shouting or nagging or insulting your man. Do all things with love and if he loves u like the bible commanded him to,u all will be happy.

(4)DON'T LET SEX BE THE BASIS OF YOUR RELATiONsHiP-sex is supposed to enhance an already blooming and working relationship and many a time sex can stall or kill your relationship growth when u indulge in it too often. sex every time will only make the both of you loose focus on the relationship itself. take time out once in a while to just be together without sex,just cuddle and communicate with each other,talk on and on about what you both want,how you first met and started your relationship,what you want and ask him what he wants..Just stop and think for a moment.

(5)ALWAYS COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR MAN AND LISTEN TO HIM TOO-the major problem with relationship these days is communication,I myself am a strong believer of communication. Do not hide your feelings about something or bottle up your feelings every time your man does something wrong,always find a way to sit your man down and tell him in a loving way that you are not happy with him. Also from time to time sit your man down and evaluate your relationship,ask him things like "Do u still love me?" "What do u hate about my character?" Etc. ask him and get him to ask you too,this is important as it helps to strengthen your relationship and let's you know what your man hates so you can adjust. Do not ever assume that your man still loves you or he still crazy about you or he is happy,always ask him to ensure you are on the right page. Learn to talk and have a long lasting,love filled relationship. U will thank me later(lol)

(6)ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF YOUR MAN-taking care of your man involves physically,spiritually,emotionally etc..Most girls and women these days would rather Die than cook for their men,that is an error but its not so bad if u provide for his meal daily. Even if u don't cook u can arrange for him to eat but its better if u cook for your man,clean the house,listen to him when ever he has a bad day and give him a good massage when he's tired. Being caring is a nature every woman ought to possess,your man will appreciate you more when u care for all his needs,he will be happier outside,at work and every other place because his mind will be at rest. Always cater for his needs and make sure he never goes hungry or dirty looking or shabby. That man u see everyday looking shabby with his squeezed clothes,long beards and dirty shoes,always eating at one restaurant or another has a woman at home who doesn't care,ensure your man doesn't leave home disheveled or hungry.

(7) DON'T EVER STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS YOUR MAN-most ladies stop trying to do anything nice once they are married or are in a relationship. They are like "what the heck? Its not like am looking for a new man" so they just stick on "relax mood" and this is very bad. They stop looking good,dressing sexy,stop calling,or texting those wonderful love messages like before,they just change all together and this is a relationship killer. Try to always make your man fall in love all over again with u everyday,by dressing nice,so that one day he won't wake up next to you and imagine if u are the same woman he met some years ago. Improve on your cooking,surprise him with a new dish u learn t off the internet or from some one,text him unexpectedly,call him when he's at work,surprise him with a gift etc and you will see how much life your relationship would have.

( BUYING OF GIFTS IS NOT RESERVED FOR THE MAN ALONE- don't ever miss a special day in your man's life by not getting him a gift. Gifts are not a woman's thing alone,men love gifts as much as women and it would be very unthoughtful if u forget you don't present your man a gift on his birthday or anniversary. Also,from time to time surprise your man with gifts,like a new shirt or tie and see how much he will appreciate you. The power of gifts cannot be over emphasized,and the result is always huge,try it today and see for yourself.

(9)BE THOUGHTFUL ALWAYS- being thoughtful in a relationship is really important,surprise your man with a call when he least expects,drop by his office some times and just hang out with him,send him a nice love text message and put a smile on his face. In this era of blackberry and different networking sites,u can send him a nice picture of yourself and what you are doing at the moment,this will make u closer to him even when he is far away from you. just be thoughtful at all times.

(10) LIES- this might be coming last but trust me it is not the least,I just dropped it last as a huge bomb. There is nothing that will kill a relationship faster than lies. I have seen most relationships that have been built on lies and how fast it dies. Don't ever lie to your man and no offense but this is common with women. I am not a fan of keeping the past in the past and what not,tell your man everything you have done before, if u were once a girl who used to sleep with men for money then tell him,if he can't handle it then let him go but a real man will be hurt at first but he would later come to terms with it. Tell him about all the men u have dated(that is if you can remember all LOL) ,tell him your real AGE,tell him everything that is important and see how it will bring you together. If u hide it trust me he is going to find out and it is gonna be much worse when he finds out the wrong way and that might just be the end of your relationship. Also encourage your man to do same with you so u can know the kind of man you are with. On the whole lies has never helped in man in any way,all it does is tear people apart. Tell the truth at all times,be sincere with your man.

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If there are ladies out there, single and searching who believe in and practice the above relationship nuggets, please mail:- vincehayes123@yahoo.com. I have goods guys in my singles database who are looking for you.

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Nigerians should know that about 80% of F.G's income is currently being used to take care of recurrent expenditure and 20% on capital infrastructure.

Looking at the expenditure profile above as a reality, if you are called upon as a consultant to advise the F.G on how to handle institutional demands (because after ASUU, many unions will follow suite) what will be your advise?

If you say they should reduce from the recurrent side to increase the capital side then, MANY WORKERS (including some ASUU members) WILL NEED TO BE SACKED!

If you say they should reduce from the capital side to increase allocation on the recurrent side then, INFRASTRUCTURE WILL SUFFER! as it has been suffering hitherto!

What then is the way out:- ACCOUNTABILITY, CONTROL, CREATIVITY AND EFFICIENCY (ACCE principle)

Waste, incompetence and corruption should be eliminated from the system so that we can actually then have more from both side to augment what obviously is one of the cardinal problem bedeviling our educational sector - infrastructure.

Not until then should major allocations be made in my own opinion. It will just result into pouring water into a perforated bucket! if more money is poured as usual.

If we can apply the ACCE principle judiciously, we will be able to make a lot of savings which can then be used to improve on this pathetic status quo.

You don't throw money into a disfunctional system, you audit it, re-engineer it and then reform it.

The Ministry of agriculture under the indefatigable leadership of Dr. Adewunmi Adesina is a case study to learn from.

Dr. Adewunmi did not ask for more money from President Jonathan when he took over that 'sick' ministry, he instead set out first to block major areas of corruption (e.g fertilizer racketeering, contracts e.t.c) in his system - ACCOUNTABILITY

He then came up with the idea of using mobile phone technology to be dissipating information and opportunities directly to registered farmers so that they can benefit directly and be able to cut out corrupt middle men. - CONTROL AND CREATIVITY

With pragmatic evaluation of where we were agriculturally, and the scientific forecasting of where he wanted us to be, given the resources at his disposal, he was and he is still putting in place efficient systems that is now giving rise to great results in that sector of our economy ( which will soon be visible on a larger scale) - EFFICIENCY

Why would all the tiers of government and even the private sector not be willing to then fund this positively working man and his Ministry?

Deliver then Demand.

Let the ministry of education and ASUU work together to block all the leakages in their system, deliver the 7 point agenda above ( which I still insist can be done by them without billions) and then make the utmost use of what they are getting now to set the ball rolling for intervention from the F.G etc.

The savings made from their system and from other systems in the country can then be used to take care of the infrastructure in all of our schools holistically and not one-sidedly.

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F.G, you are the manager of our national patrimony. Please demand these from ASUU:-

1. Their members should stop the selling of handouts, they should make video DVDs of their lectures to serve as a supplementary learning aids for their students.

2. Each lecturer should have a blog (with threads) like that of Nairaland for him/her to interact with his/her students with for supplementary and effective communication (online Q&A sessions).

3. Lecturers should stop seeing themselves as demi-gods but as friends and parents to students. That all sadists and bad teachers (poor teaching skills) among them should be given Jonathan's booth.

4. All exam results must come out within 2 weeks after the completion of all exams so that students can know their results on time and be able to plan better for the next semester.

5. Graduates must get their certificates on their convocation day.

6. That examination should be re-designed to evaluate student's understanding of the course (application) and not student's ability to COPY & PASTE crammed definitions. Each lecturer should prepare a synoptic summary of his/ course which should then contain all the definitions and summary of what he/she wants to teach to aid students in the mastery of his/her course.

7. Productivity Allowance should only be paid to lecturers with 70% pass rate i.e 70% of his/her students must pass (C-pass) his/her course on merit based on effective teaching. Greatness lies in simplicity. If a lecturer has not mastered his/her subject to the extent that he/she is able to effectively teach it, then he/she is not fit to be employed in the system.

IF ASUU CAN FULFILL ALL THESE 7-POINT AGENDA, F.G, PLEASE DOUBLE THEIR SALARIES. IF THEY CAN'T , F.G PLEASE REDUCE THEIR SALARIES BY 50% AND LET THE LAW OF DEMAND AND SUPPLY BRING YOU ANOTHER SET OF WORK FORCE . THEY ARE SHORT CHANGING YOU (POOR SERVICE)!

STUDENTS DESERVE THE BEST. THE 7-POINT AGENDA IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE AND ASUU DOES NOT NEED BILLIONS TO DO THE ABOVE, THEY ALREADY HAVE THE TOOLS FOR THESE WITHIN THE SYSTEM.

IF ASUU WANTS THEIR MEMBERS TO BE PAID LIKE THEIR COUNTERPARTS ABROAD, THEN THEY SHOULD ALSO DEMAND OF THEIR MEMBERS TO WORK LIKE THEIR COUNTERPARTS ABROAD.

ASUU, YOU CAN DO BETTER.

I MISS MY UNISA (University of South Africa), THE 7-POINT AGENDA ABOVE IS A PIECE OF CAKE TO THEM.

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