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Klass99's Posts

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Family / Re: Why Are Some Married Women So Selfish And Wicked? by Klass99(f): 7:15am On Dec 06
JovialJune:



So your sense starts and ends with pulling women's pants and spreading legs? You just proved her right.

Rotfl grin. Abeg chop knuckle.

4 Likes

Education / Re: Share Your Secondary School Experience With Bullies by Klass99(f): 8:44pm On Dec 04
Following......will be right back.
Family / Re: Could He Have Ulterior Motives By Disagreeing To This? Should I Opt Out? by Klass99(f): 6:29pm On Dec 04
Acidosis:
@Klass99,

Hi dear, I respect your position on the issue. As a matter of fact, the only reason I'm on this thread is because the OP tried to present the man as a bad person. It's very obvious and that's why it seems as though everyone is against her.

I don't see the so called "ulterior motive" in what the man has done. Whoever wants an idea with a grave consequence should be able to pay the price.

I understand wink.

JovialJune:


Thumbs up to your write up, and @bolded, thank you kiss

You are welcome smiley

1 Like

Family / Re: Could He Have Ulterior Motives By Disagreeing To This? Should I Opt Out? by Klass99(f): 5:34pm On Dec 04
Aparche:



Funny enough it's mostly the females on this platform that are quarreling with her about her decision, you can even feel their hatred for the op...nawa o!

She has her preferences and wisely brought it up during courtship... it's now left for the other party to go along with it or they go their separate ways.

Abeg what crime has she committed?


All I can see is that many people calling her names and casting aspersions are speaking from a place of personal dislike or hatred for the op.


At the bolded kiss wink

1 Like

Family / Re: Could He Have Ulterior Motives By Disagreeing To This? Should I Opt Out? by Klass99(f): 3:45pm On Dec 04
Hathor5:


What is worse though is that one woman will insult another woman because of menopause and not having a husband. Is it what their self-worth depends on? undecided lipsrsealed

What has your having a husband and children got to do with anything? Has it saved humanity or the country?Are you a better human being now?
grin

Nonsense.

@ The bolded, I 100% feel you.


JovialJune:


It behooves me that so many people are not and don't even know the meaning of "open mindedness",

Change is constant, the world is changing fast leaving us behind, open your mind and accept the fact there are people who will continue to deviate from the usual norm you all are used to, so believe it or not, there are so many Nigerians(men and women) that are not interested in children, one child policy, and retaining their singlehood till old age/death, same with Vasectomy/hysterectomy. Go to hospitals and ask doctors/consultants.


@ The bolded, seven blessings and 21 kisses to you. I knew I liked you for a reason, your mind works in a similar fashion as mine and it often reflects in your posts. You see the part in red ehn.......for years I was told by different people that I am weird, there's something wrong with me, I will never find an African man that doesn't want children, you should relocate overseas your kind/type of man is there, blah, blah, blah.

But, guess what? In this Lagos State where I reside I am aware of 3 married couples who as a matter choice, do not have children. It is not that they wanted but couldn't have for medical or spiritual reasons (like overly religious folks love to assume) it was a conscious decision.

Trust Naija people to always have doubts about the authenticity and reality of other people's stories/situations. They will be quick to assume these couples are lying or pretending about their reasons for not having children. I know two of these couples, the third I only heard about, from my neighbour who said, the guy he is telling me about is his friend and Igbo for that matter.

One of those couples are my elder brother's neighbours, which is how I got to know about them. The first time he and wifey mentioned them, they were like - we met some wonderful people like you, two houses away who don't want children as well (wonderful in this context, meaning strange and mystifying) One time my brother and his wife left their house keys with those neighbours and asked me to get the keys from my cousins, they'll be expecting me. I asked how are they my cousins? They responded you know nah, you are all wonderful people cut from the same cloth and we laughed about it.

The thing is, my brother and his wife banter with me about it. It is friendly banter without malice or vitriol, because they are open minded, they understand and respect what you said in this post JJ. On this same nairaland I have encountered a man who said he doesn't want kids, he inquired about a vasectomy and was seriously contemplating it. He even asked that we talk via DM/email, but I declined because his NL footprints were discouraging.

My point is that, there are indeed people who are deviating from the usual norm, for various reasons, they may be few but they do exist, right here in Naija. Then there are folks who don't understand them and they respond with lots of negative energy, insulting and demeaning without justification. Simply because someone says, I want a different path for my life. JJ, I appreciate people like you and Hathor because of the mindsets I see, it's independent, unique, sound and rare. No herd mentality involved, respect ladies!

@ Acidosis, for me none of this is about gender war or gender alliance. It is the lack of basic respect, the recurring patterns of cyber bullying and insults, of people we don't agree with, that concerns me.

I don't understand gay people, but I don't dislike them and I will always respect their right to exist, first as human beings then secondly as whatever they choose to be. If I hear today that anyone I know or whom I like, is gay, it won't affect my interactions with them.

The same way I relate with a straight person is how I will relate with a gay person. That is, with baisc respect, thoughtfulness and kindness at the back of my mind, irrespective of sexual preferences. This is not me trying to be woke and all, but me with an understanding of who I am, who I believe in and what fundamentally matters to Him and me.

The only time I will have issues with a gay person, is when they try to touch me inappropriately or incessantly hound me about the lifestyle and swinging for the other team. Otherwise, we are good and we'll always be good. Respect, respect and respect, for others who are different, whom you may not like or understand, but respect their right to exist. That is all I am going on about, but make I rest.

5 Likes

Family / Re: Could He Have Ulterior Motives By Disagreeing To This? Should I Opt Out? by Klass99(f): 10:54am On Dec 04
CHoccolaTE:


Some nairaland women have been so brainwashed by patriarchal society and constant rhetoric that women are lesser that they cannot reason properly again or even put the needs of women first in anything.

I honestly don't get it myself. But, it always takes me aback whenever I see the sort of thing happening on this thread.

1 Like

Family / Re: Could He Have Ulterior Motives By Disagreeing To This? Should I Opt Out? by Klass99(f): 10:45am On Dec 04
Hathor5:


Thank you for this.

I didn't want to get in the middle of it because I have no energy for such but I find the quality of the insults thrown from one lady to the other here truly disturbing. undecided undecided


kiss

When I first saw the thread/original post I didn't want to comment or get into it either, because Mercy tends to misunderstand and misconstrue one's words/intentions. I was like, she shouldn't have brought this here o.

But, as the thread progressed and I read different comments, I figured it was time to wade in, having been at the receiving end of such vile nastiness myself because of a harmless, personal, life choice.

When good people say nothing and do nothing, evil prevails. So, please we can occasionally wade in and drown out the hateful voices. After watching Monica Lewinsky's TEDtalk video, I am truly beginning to grasp the full extent of cyber bullying.

My only concern with Mercy is how she handles situations in her life. Her one child policy and vasectomy conversation with the guy, didn't bother me as much as, the ignoring of calls, tantrums and attitude afterwards. A relationship can fade or fizzle out, but that doesn't mean we can't maintain friendly/civil interactions nah.

We only short change ourselves and miss out on wonderful opportunities by permanently shutting out people. I admit that certain people (toxic ones in particular) need to and should be permanently shut out of our lives. But, if someone is decent, hasn't done anything harmful to you and it's only a matter of difference in values/ideology, keep the communication lines open, be friendly and have no hard feelings.

6 Likes 1 Share

Career / Re: Manager by Klass99(f): 8:00am On Dec 04
Yes it is.

Good managers advocate for their teams with a strong and compelling reason why salaries should be increased, especially if you have diligent workers who are top performers as well.

Make a case for your people without sentiments/emotions, but with facts, data and clarity as to why a pay increase will be to the benefit of all parties concerned.

If you can't get them a pay increase try negotiating for some other perk like a staff bus or work/life balance with flexible work hours. At least try for something.

3 Likes

Family / Re: Could He Have Ulterior Motives By Disagreeing To This? Should I Opt Out? by Klass99(f): 10:30pm On Dec 03
descarado:
There are many ways a woman can prevent pregnancy.

Sometimes we ladies are selfish without knowing it.

Within the context of this thread, do you think she's being selfish for desiring one child only or for asking the man to get a vasectomy? I'm guessing it's the latter (for you) but correct me if I am wrong.

Now, speaking generally and not specifically to you Descarado - I have randomly read people's comments and reactions to the OP, she has been dissed and cruelly insulted, making me wonder if it's her desire for one child or the suggestion of a vasectomy that has people so worked up.

If it's about the child, no one has the right to diss her for it. It's her personal choice and a choice that won't adversely affect any of us, so why the hate towards her? I have seen 2 male users on this forum (at different times on different threads) say they don't like children and they don't want to have them. One said they disturb and make too much noise, the other said he finds them annoying.

No single person on those threads (male or female) dragged nor insulted those guys or even quoted them to ask why or start a sermon about it. One of those users even had 5 likes and 1 share, when I saw his post. But, the moment a woman says something remotely similar or different, like - I want only one child or I like children but I don't want any of my own, that's when the name calling and insults begin, especially from female users towards their own gender.

Is it fear of the opposite gender that makes them stay mute and overlook the comments of male users? Or do they think when a man says that, he knows what he wants BUT when a woman says so, she is selfish, sick, evil and doesn't know what she wants? It's funny how everyone jumps and passes, when the moniker is M, but when it's F, they are all over a thread brutally attacking with full force. The hypocrisy is loud!

If it's about the vasectomy, while I agree that it ought to be a man's choice without him being pressured or compelled to do it, the fury, vitriol and nastiness I am seeing, is still unwarranted and very unkind.

@ Mercychen, I read your original post and from some of your other threads as well, I have to say that - for a grown woman your naivety and childishness can be astounding (I don't mean that as an insult). Please focus more on yourself, personal growth/improvement.

16 Likes 5 Shares

Family / Re: Marrying And Taking Her Abroad; A Regret? by Klass99(f): 9:10am On Dec 03
Preetti:
Mrbenjame interesting thread. Well as for me, the families and friends I know who travelled abroad with their spouses are fine till today.
Everyone would always have diverse opinions based on their own experiences.

PS: Back when I was new to naira land and didn't know better, I used to reply nairaland mails.
I got mails from married Nigerian men living abroad requesting for a relationship, phone intimacy or something perverse. And they always say "I'm married" or "I'm almost separated from my wife" (which anyone can tell is a lie)
One even said his wife was working at the hospital and that she's a strong woman and all. If she's that good a person why the heck are you then chatting up a random person on the internet asking for a relationship.
Now these are the sort of men that are unapologetically cheating on their wives for no reason, but if you judge by their nairaland comments you would think they are responsible, well behaved men.
Op this is is to tell you that sometimes women are not the problem so if you choose to make your life decisions based on some comments from some hypocritical people here then you might regret it cause they aren't practising what they preach.
Last last do what you think is right for you .

grin

2 Likes

Family / Re: Marrying And Taking Her Abroad; A Regret? by Klass99(f): 5:20pm On Dec 02
socialmediaman:


The most important ingredient for a successful marriage is how much your values align with each other. Do you both value companionship and want to be best of friends? Do you both value communication and transparency? Do you both value respect? Are you both committed to making a relationship work? Are you both on the same page with what you want in marriage? This are very important questions you need to answer with your partner. For instance, if you value trust very much and find a partner who lies too much, your marriage is already having challenges before even getting started

.

Seven blessings to you, I enjoyed reading your post and this part in particular resonated well with me. I am copying this for continuous/future reference.

16 Likes

Family / Re: Can We Have A Thread That's Insult Free by Klass99(f): 3:10pm On Dec 02
Hathor5:


I have just googled the advert but there are too many results. Can you send me the YouTube link with advert so I can find the song?

That's the same problem I have too, so I can't even send you a link. It seems like CNN has made it impossible to get it from other sources, but I'll keep trying. I appreciate your willingness to help, mwah kiss
Celebrities / Re: Who Is The Most Beautiful Among These Ghanaian Actresses? (Pictures) by Klass99(f): 2:50pm On Dec 02
It would have been easier to judge if their make up free faces and full length pictures were shown.

But, I am feeling Juliet the most though.

1 Like

Family / Re: Work From Home Opportunity by Klass99(f): 2:48pm On Dec 02
But, why is it location based?
Freelancing can be done from anywhere.
Family / Re: Can We Have A Thread That's Insult Free by Klass99(f): 11:14am On Dec 02
Hathor5:


I love your positive vibes. smiley kiss

Which advert are you talking about? cheesy

Lol, I like that you love my vibes wink

African Avant Garde, is the advert. I've been browsing the net for days now, in search of the soundtrack but coming up short. I could really use some help with that.

The good thing though, is that the Office TV is close to my work station and it's permanently on CNN. So, when the ad comes on I get to listen to my heart's content. It's about the only thing I like on CNN.

8 Likes

Family / Re: Can We Have A Thread That's Insult Free by Klass99(f): 10:37am On Dec 02
This ought to be fun cheesy, I feel like;

1. Winning the lottery.

2. Cuddling with a certain someone, kissing and making sweet love.

3. Listening to this wonderful soundtrack of an advert on CNN, which always sinks deep into my soul and makes me feel good. Good music is bae!

4. Watching Power, with riveting scenes of Ghost & Angie. They have such wonderful chemistry on camera, too bad they are not a couple in real life. How can one man be so sexy and good looking from head to toes? It's not right, but I absolutely like tongue.

5. Ditching work in favour of a James Patterson novel, that guy always has me engrossed in his books, like kilode? An extremely talented writer/author.

6. Touching and playing with my neighbour's beautiful dog, who interestingly, bears the same name as our second family dog.

I feel like a lot of things, don't I? cheesy Lamanii, I enoyed participating on your thread and I'm sorry about your baby, accidents happen unintentionally. You mothers need to stop beating yourselves up and feeling like failures whenever something goes wrong.

8 Likes 5 Shares

Family / Re: Marrying And Taking Her Abroad; A Regret? by Klass99(f): 9:57am On Dec 02
I think Nairaland is affecting too many people in the real world and informing the choices they make, based on the toxic negativity often displayed here. Do what feels right to you at the end of the day, irrespective of people's views/opinions.

Modified to add: Why are people quoting me upandan like this nah? You people have left the OP's matter and question, to tackle me, I be football? grin.

I kukuma no get energy to answer anybody tonight, so good night kiss. Don't quench over a stranger's harmless comment, it is not that serious. Some are not even making sense with their mentions.

188 Likes 14 Shares

Family / Re: Why Are Couples Getting Lonlier In Marriages These Day? by Klass99(f): 8:19pm On Dec 01
cayorday89:

LOL, but to me it's a great movie, the way I see it is that it addresses the complexities of life and how it has effects on our relationship.

The guy knowing what he got but the lack of finance.

Cayorday angryangryangryangry

The part in bold is not true nah! The financial support he got from his wife all through the years they were married is what?

The guy was just a lazy mofo who was taking advantage of a young girl and living off her wealth. Recall that he was already doing this prior to their marriage and in marriage he continued being the lazy jackass he was.

I guess that's why we are told, that what we see or get, while dating or during courtship, only continues in marriage because marriage doesn't change the core of who we are.

Men are truly from mars and women from jupiter (or how does that book put it again?) We don't see things the same way at all! I'm beginning to think the men who commented on this movie, didn't watch it or they didn't understand it grin
Family / Re: Why Are Couples Getting Lonlier In Marriages These Day? by Klass99(f): 4:16pm On Dec 01
truthsayer009:


About Acrimony.

To be fair the movie was great, although I see a lot of women very upset about the movie because It paints a real life picture of what happens in the real world, the world is cruel and unfair and be it as it may, we still have to face it and survive. Shit happens.

I blame the man the most not for cheating or going with the other woman but for staying so long on a business that never works. In Nigeria, once an Igbo man invests in an Idea, Invention or business for 2 years and it doesn't yield fruit, he will close it down and start another one. Na so life suppose be.

Even Buhari the most useless president in the history of humans was smarter than this man, He moved from ANPP in 2011 to CPC, then from CPC to APC in 2015. Imagine if he had stayed in ANPP? he would died from his sickness.

Bottom line is you have to pivot and keep trying out ideas till one works, not staying on it for 18 years waiting for Ex-crush of yours to bail you out.

Great movie ke! Don't make me stone you through my system.
It wasn't a bad movie but the long suffering, good wife character, Taraji P was casted as, seemed too much and unrealistic.
@ The bolded, you cannot even blame the woman in that movie.
The thread is not about Acrimony, share your thoughts on the topic.

3 Likes

Family / Re: How Do Spouses Whose Partners Live Abroad Cope Sexually? by Klass99(f): 3:25pm On Dec 01
BigDawsNet:


Quickly delete this comment now.
You future husband may be reading them now lipsrsealed

Lol grin, the user you quoted is not well.
She's an entertaining escapee of Yaba Left.
The days she doesn't take her meds, you'll see her display like she did.

4 Likes

Family / Re: Why Are Couples Getting Lonlier In Marriages These Day? by Klass99(f): 3:06pm On Dec 01
Micielito:


I also agree with klass about the Acrimony movie. And Melinda did not ask him to abandon his Dream. She wanted him to get something doing, to support their family, while working on his dream.

Same way this man wants his wife to get a job/skill to enable them survive as a family if he is unable to make money in future.

Acrimony was the BOMB then. Argument here and there on campus about the movie then cheesy


You dey mind Litigator, he hasn't watched the movie grin

2 Likes

Family / Re: Why Are Couples Getting Lonlier In Marriages These Day? by Klass99(f): 12:34pm On Dec 01
litigator:


I will be back. Lemme go and see the movie again. But from what you said, will one be awarded a medal if he/she starts a race but didn’t end it?

As a bible student, I believe the Bible did allude to the fact that the crown is for he who endures till the end. Init?

Lol cheesy

Please do, I almost asked you if you actually watched the movie or if we are talking about the same movie.

For me, there's nothing wrong with re-writing the story of your life, re-routing or changing course while on a race/journey, if that race is messing with your over-all well being. Life is too short (is not a cliché, but a reality) and I don't want to spend mine living miserably/unhappily. The medal in this case will be my lost but found peace of mind and joy.

The only race worthy of endurance and finishing well, is the one you mentioned from scripture, because as a believer the guarantee of a happy ending is real to me. What guarantee can a demoralizing partner/relationship give me, that the end will be good?

5 Likes

Family / Re: Why Are Couples Getting Lonlier In Marriages These Day? by Klass99(f): 11:22am On Dec 01
litigator:



How are doing klassic?

Marriage should be about friendship and helping each other succeed. It kinda reminds me of two Afro-America movies I watched years back. To wit; Acrimony and The Marriage Counsellor.

In the marriage counsellor, I never blamed the marriaged counsellor lady but blamed her husband who refused to talk.

In Acrimony, I never agreed with Mr. Perry’s position that the man was at fault. To me, it’s not enough to support a man at the earliest stage and expect to be entitled for the rest of the journey. As long as she never believed in the man and his battery business, she had no right to complain. The white woman believed in him and helped him succeed. And this is my understanding of marriage.

I simply define marriage as union where both partners are in a partnership to help each other and the family as a whole succeed.

But reverse seems to be the case in Nigeria. If a lady supports you when you had nothing, she feels entitled to you as man for the rest of her life without bring more to the table. If you like buy her a house of her own as compensation, she will still feel you owe her your life and try playing God. Kilode nah?

I guess it’s the same reason they expect the man to take care of the kids and raise them properly so she will have someone to take care of her at old age.

I'm doing good, you?

I've never seen The Marriage Counsellor, but I have seen Acrimony and I strongly disagree with you on the bolded. She supported that man's dream for years, stood by him year after year, putting her finances/inheritance into his dreams, fighting with her sisters because of him and all this while she had a hysterectomy by accident because of him and she could never have children. For goodness sake, how much longer was she supposed to continue doing all of this? shocked

His wife believed in him and enabled him to succeed, unfortunately success never happened in all the time she was there, but it did with someone else and you still blame her for not believing in him or helping him succeed? How do you describe everything she did, prior to their divorce? Guy, no dey fall my hand like this nah! I didn't like that movie at all and it remains one of my worse Tyler Perry's movies ever. I agree with helping a partner to succeed (which she did) but abeg, there comes a time when we have to cut our loses and move on. All he did was continuously drain her emotionally, financially and mentally, giving nothing back in return! The same way you men don't like liabilities, is how we don't like them too.

7 Likes

Crime / Re: Moment Chidinma Ojukwu Arrived Court To Continue Her Murder Trial (pix, Video) by Klass99(f): 10:23am On Dec 01
expertman:


*MY LAGOS PEOPLE, HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR LAGOS?*

*> Job interview - Lekki, Ajah, VI*

*> Yahoo boys - Egbeda*

*> Gift items - Adeniji*

*> Coconut - Badagry*

*> Direct bus to anywhere - Oshodi*

*> Pepper - Mile 12*

*> Chelsea fans - Ajegunle*

*> Bread - Agege*

*> Chemicals - Ojota*

*> Agberos/Touts - Mushin*

*> Accident - Otedola Bridge*

*> Land for real estate - Ibeju Lekki*

*> Okada riders - Mile 2*

*> Traffic - Apapa*

*> Bus parks - Jibowu*

*> Stranded people - Berger*

*> Roadside beggars - Iyana Oba*

*> Best weed - Bariga, Ikotun*

*> Olosho - Pekas Allen Avenue*

*> Printing materials - Shomolu*

*> Fish - Epe*

*> Coffin - Mushin, Igbosere*

*> GNLD marketers - Iyana Ipaja, Meiran*

*> Electronics/DJ Mixes - Alaba*

*> Phones/Laptops - Computer Village Ikeja*

*> Beach -- Lekki, VI*

*> Street lights - Festac*

*> Suya - Obalende*

*> Indian men - Ilupeju*

*> Shoes and bags - Vespar*

*> Car spare parts - Ladipo*

*> Akube (second hand) - Yaba, Aswani*

*> Christmas clothes - Balogun*

*> Worst routes - Otta, Badagry, Sangotedo, Ikorodu*

*> Best place to live in - Ikoyi*

*> Best place to enjoy a plate of Amala - Shitta Surulere, Sabo Yaba*

*> Most likely place to lose your wallet - Oshodi, Ojuelegba*

I enjoyed reading this, it made me smile

1 Like

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