₦airaland Forum

splenzard:
men are born between the legs of a woman

and spend all their life getting back in there

because "no place like home"

Lol

nmreports:
Hi folks,

Trust your day is going fine.
Like some of you are already aware of how I am passionate about knowledge sharing and self improvement, I am compelled to bring up this discussion because of something that happened at my workplace.

So, one of the historical HR questions that have stood the test of time during interviews is "Why Should We Hire You?".
It is an age old inquiry skill that illuminates how you view yourself and how smartly you can convey that message across.

For example, you are at an interview with Guranty Trust Bank and you were asked this question, the foregoing answer should help you in forming your own answer.

Interviewer: Why Should We Hire You?

Interviewee: I believe one of the greatest gift any employer can get is to have employees who are reliable and can be counted on to do their jobs when you turn your back. I am a positive, self motivated individual who is passionate about whatever i put my mind into. If I do not believe in a thing I do not get involved in it. I believe in Guaranty Trust Bank, I have always wanted to be a part of the family and you can count on me to do a good job.

Kindly share how you answer this question and let us learn. Most especially let new graduates and those who are searching for same question learn.

You can read some more interesting stuff on www.nairamode..com

If you hire me, it will be a great platform to showcase my skills. Whatever goals I set, I ensure to complete them within stipulated time.

Congratulations Ife!

feyidupe:
What can I say,than to say tank u Lord,tanks to narialand and every other site that I've been of help for the job seekers,jst sooooo happy,honestly I'm short of words all I knw s dat I got a job I didn't apply for,I base in ABJ and I got my job frm LAG,snd my approval letter to me,even asking mi if d job s okay by me,if God can ans my prayers he can also ans urs all u need to do,don't give up.God bless you all.

Amen!
Congratulations!

I will not blame u that much but ur mum should be blamed cos she's not futuristic on her approach. That is what hsppen when women hide behind the success of their husbands. When their husbands are no more they find it deficult to cope, i know is not easy to carry the loads alone but it can still be managered.
Your dad is a great man no dout about dat he left 5.5m let me just stop here.

Back to the topic i will recomend u go for
Tiling: tiling doesnt stop u from doing other things and if u have a good boss he can be supporting u financually anytime u go out for job.
Pls think to further ur eduction entrol for part time or full time program.
Just take a step u will see things will begin to fall onto places for you. God will see u through.

Ooo my God! This country is getin more interesting.
Jailed becos of 2packets of maggi cubes
But not
Make una leave the poor man jor

F

jude4youonly@yahoo.com

Bad news everywhere. What's happening in this country? Is it that the devil has taken over our land? God forbid!

God have mercy on our land and deliver us from every evil.

O Lord take over our land completely...
Amen!!!!

Goldie88:
Good morning my good people of nairaland
I finally got a job.... see if you are a guest on nairaland pls just try and register cos nairaland forum is a blessing in disguise...., I have been a guest for years and I decided to register like some months back...... all the information I gathered here really helped me in my job hunt
Nairaland taught me to move from my comfort zone and meet new people.... well, I met new people and those people (girls) you would never know they have connections oo as in young girls between 25-30, working in global organizations, controlling big things and even responsible for themselves...
I am finally employed and the pay is nice an d the resumption time is 11am....what can I say.... My parents and siblings go enjoy me die atleast before I start having other responsibilities to cater for... God bless you

Congratulations babe!!!

There was a time when some churches dont watch television, but now u see ther pastors almost all the TV stations both on local n foreign channels to the extent of having ther own tv station.
If na nw Jesus come earth He will not ride horse from Nigeria to Rome. Shey u will nw be asking if it is right or wrong to board to plane or jet from Nigeria to Rome
Things keep on changing with time, but the wrong use of it should be questioned.
Thank God is not watching porn on his fone
My sister i dont think is wrong!

Movic1:
Lol! deadly female robbery gang!!! . Funny headline.
Generator
Laptop
Ak/bullets
scissors
Plate Number
Recharge card and u call that deadly.

The Bolden ehen

Conversation between IBOP man and Hausa man

IBOP: take #1000 and give #900 balance

Aboki: Oga whalai me I no get change

IBOP: (in his mind wen i say, sai Baba he will leave the money) Sai Baba!!!

Aboki: Oga whalai me I no get change

IBOP: Sai change!!!

Aboki: Oga whalai Buhari I don change am for us

IBOP: laugh.... E reach your side


God help us in this country!

mohaMADbuari:
Who cares about the opinion of a malnourished and poorly brought up brat whose father was a known rascal.

E pain am

Ntorrrrrrrrr!

Coca-Cola is a carbonated soft drink sold in stores, restaurants, and vending machines throughout the world. It is produced by The Coca-Cola Company of Atlanta, Georgia, and is often referred to simply as Coke, a registered trademark of The Coca-Cola Company in the United States since March 27, 1944.
Here are some facts you don't know about it.

Source: http://bestpictureblog.com/20-mind-blowing-facts-about-coca-cola/

http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/most-shocking/15-places-you-are-not-allowed-to-go/?view=all
lalasticlala

Nice!!! Good job

sirculynz:
After my service July last yr, my company refused to staff me, that I can only be employed as a trainee engr which comes with only small stipend. So I wrote this particular test online on July for one multi national company in lekki. 2 months later I got a text from them to come for interview, I was surprised. I went there. I was interviewed by an indian, the interview was so intense, he asked me many questions including sm calculations on electrical engr, I tink I got most. That interview lasted for abt 30mins each prsn & we where just 15. On dec, I got a call from them to come for medicals. By Jan I waited for them, I was tempted to go & find out my status from them @ their office but I kept cool. So on wed evening as I was leaving office I got a call from the HR of this new company, & she asked me to come tomorrow for their offer letter. When I went there & saw their offer, it was wow. we were 7, they apologised to us for taking this long to finally recruit us, that we were the lucky ones out of thousands of applicants & they had to do thorough screening. Omo that night I couldn't sleep, happiness won kill me. So the next morning when I went to my office to resign, I first told my boss, he was shocked cos I was one of his top engrs that delivers well. When I went to the HR to submit the letter. She asked abt the new company & i told her. She quickly had a meeting with sm top ogas & even the MD. Right there, she printed an offer letter, I was shocked. So after all this while, na now una know my importance. I told her dt my new company is gonna pay me 3x this offer & it's an international company with job security. After I greeted sm friends I left knowing fully well I'm going to a far better place. I'm resuming this Monday & I can't wait to get started.
So my fellow Job seekers, I wish u all the best. There are still good jobs out there u can get without knowing anybody. This year shall be our year of plenty testimonies.
Please ignore my typo errors**

Congratulations Bro!!! God is just starting in your life.

dammysel:
Today is my birthday,I give thanks to God. I had made a promise that my next birthday will be celebrated with the less privileged kids and it came to pass! God is awesome. Let's always learn to visit and show some love everyday!

Happy birthday big sister, God bless your new age. LLnP.

Congratulations bro!!!!

Baba Oshi you are suffering from laraoshomiasis

Those who live in glass house don't throw stones.

Remember apc=pdp

kentozybee:
An atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand:
‘You’re a Christian, aren’t you, son?’
‘Yes sir,’ the student says.
‘So you believe in God?’
‘Absolutely. ’
‘Is God good?’
‘Sure! God’s good.’
‘Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?’
‘Yes.’
‘Are you good or evil?’
‘The Bible says I’m evil.’
The professor grins knowingly. ‘Aha! The Bible! He considers for a moment. ‘Here’s one for you. Let’s say there’s a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?’
‘Yes sir, I would.’
‘So you’re good…!’
‘I wouldn’t say that.’
‘But why not say that? You’d help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn’t.’
The student does not answer, so the professor continues. ‘He doesn’t, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Can you answer that one?’
The student remains silent. ‘No, you can’t, can you?’ the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax ‘Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?’
‘Er…yes,’ the student says.
‘Is Satan good?’
The student doesn’t hesitate on this one. ‘No.’
‘Then where does Satan come from?’
The student falters. ‘From God’
‘That’s right. God made Satan, didn’t he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?’
‘Yes, sir…’
‘Evil’s everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything, correct?’
‘Yes.’
‘So who created evil?’ The professor continued, ‘If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.’
Again, the student has no answer. ‘Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?’
The student squirms on his feet. ‘Yes.’
‘So who created them?’
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. ‘Who created them?’ There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. ‘Tell me,’ he continues onto another student. ‘Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?’
The student’s voice betrays him and cracks. ‘Yes, professor, I do.’
The old man stops pacing. ‘Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?’
‘No sir. I’ve never seen Him.’
‘Then tell us if you’ve ever heard your Jesus?’
‘No, sir, I have not…’
‘Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?’
‘No, sir, I’m afraid I haven’t.’
‘Yet you still believe in him?’
‘Yes.’
‘According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn’t exist… What do you say to that, son?’
‘Nothing,’ the student replies… ‘I only have my faith.’
‘Yes, faith,’ the professor repeats. ‘And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence…only faith.’
The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. ‘Professor, is there such thing as heat? ’
‘Yes.’
‘And is there such a thing as cold?’
‘Yes, son, there’s cold too.’
‘No sir, there isn’t.’
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. ‘You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don’t have anything called ‘cold’. We can hit d own to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest –458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, ‘cold’ is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.’
Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.
‘What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?’
‘Yes,’ the professor replies without hesitation… ‘What is night if it isn’t darkness?’
‘You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? That’s the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?’
The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. ‘So what point are you making, young man?’
‘Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.’
The professor’s face cannot hide his surprise this time. ‘Flawed? Can you explain how?’
‘You are working on the premise of duality,’ the student explains… ‘You argue that there is life and then there’s death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but it has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.’
‘Now tell me, professor… Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?’
‘If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.’
‘Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?’
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
‘Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?’
The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. ‘To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.’ The student looks around the room. ‘Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor’s brain?’ The class breaks out into laughter. ‘Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor’s brain, felt the professor’s brain, touched or smelt the professor’s brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.’ ‘So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?’
Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. ‘I guess you’ll have to take them on faith.’
‘Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,’ the student continues. ‘Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?’ Now uncertain, the professor responds, ‘Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.’
To this the student replied, ‘Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.’
The professor sat down.
The student was Albert Einstein.

Culled from naij.com

It's lovely. Nice writeup

kayoade09:
Good evening fellow nairalanders....... I finished my NYSC on 15th of October and fortunately for me, I got my offer letter last week. The total payoff after a month is 30k, I'm to resume on monday but some of my siblings advised me not to accept the offer because I am a second class upper student(B.SC) and I'm less than 24. Probably a better offer will come in because I'm still in the employment age cycle. Pls advice me on this cos I dont knw wen that better offer will come in and another believe I have is that half bread is better than none.

Bros to be sincere the money is very low, but everything depend on u. What are looking for in life?, where do u want to be in next 2year both career n academic wise? Will this job help me in achieving my dreams, goals etc. I graduated with 2:2 after my NYSC I got a job of 40k just becos I know my mission on earth I accepted the offer and I also believe dat I will get better offer in less the 6months but unfortunately I ended up sending 1yr n 3months but at last I got anther job with over 200k and currently am doing my masters.

Answer those questions before accepting the offer if it will help u in life, then
Talk to the MD in person concerning the salary and hear what he or she will say.

Let just add these;
In life don't look desperate when looking for something eg job, life partner etc. Once dey notice hw desperate u are they will take advantage of you.

Build your boldness and confidence these are the keys that will keep u going in life.

patient and perseverance are another key of life Pls have dem.

Be honest and humble.

Above all always pray becos is not always by grade. Grade is just a criteria for selection and screening.
All the best in life.

Wetin concern me

Oooooop... so snakes are now ur problem . OK ooo it's well.

ochejoseph:
‎
Birthday tribute to Former President Goodluck Jonathan! 

Your Excellency,

There are few leaders in Africa  willing to sacrifice their ambition for the  good of their country men you are one of them 

Those who accused you of cluelessnesss  are today taking selfies at the Auto plants and with made Made in Nigeria vehicles a dividend of your auto policy.

Those who said your administration lack direction when it established 11 brand new universities 9 of them In Northern Nigeria  are currently clueless as to how to implement a simple  school feeling program for primary school children.

Those who insulted you and insisted that the Petroleum subsidy program was a scam just approved a 0.5 Trillion naira subsidy scam  payment 


The professor who claimed your successor will definitely bring fuel  pump to = 40 have suddenly gone deaf and dumb while fuel prize is currently cruising around 600 naira in some cities 

Those who claimed the presidential Air fleet was too large and a complete waste of resources have spent over 5 billion naira in just 6 months fuelling the fleet and junketing from one continent to another without any thing to show for it 

Those who claimed you were heading to Chad to plan more attacks on us were the first to visit Chad after you left.

Your agricultural policies which yielded a lot of dividend is the next achievement your adversaries are planning to appropriate to themselves 

When the Treasury Single Account was been hailed as a super invention they concealed your name and in scripted theirs, immediately it had little issues they dumped it on you, tomorrow they will claim IPPIS 

They said you lacked the political will to fight insurgency yet most  if all the LGA'S you reclaimed and handed over to them have been lost with unimaginable loss of lives 


They said you were not a soldier and therefore lack the military capacity to lead the fight. Sir those who promised to lead the fight from the front have been dishing out orders from the safety of the bedroom of their wives 

You left us with one of the fastest growing economy according to CNN, however those who said Nigeria was mismanaged under you have superintendent over the highest job losses and economic depreciation in the History of our great Nation.

You said your ambition was not worth the blood of a single Nigerian you proved it by your actions.

As you celebrate another year today , we are very grateful to the king of heaven for giving us a leader like you. 

The first female Cadets of the NDA  are grateful 

The First set of students from the 11 new federal universities who are now in 400 level are grateful 

The first Sets of students from the University of Petroleum are grateful 


The First sets of Nigerian Pilots trained abroad are Grateful

The Recipients of the Presidential scholarship scheme for first class students which was recently suspended by our change agents are grateful

The recipients of the Youwwin programme and the Youwwin for women are grateful 

The beneficiaries of the innovation in fertiliser distribution will never forget you 

The 1000 Beneficiaries of the TETFUND scholarships for Lecturers in Nigerian Universities are grateful 

The generations that will access information via the freedom of information act (FOI) will see your signature 

The Millions of Almajiri pupils across Nigeria who benefited from you milk of kindness will live to testify

Those who ply the Abuja - Lokoja Benin road will remain thankful

NYSC Members who will benefit and those who have benefited from the increased of allowances from =N= 8216 to =N= 19800 are grateful

The commuters on our railways know clueless when they see one 


 


May heaven and History be kind to you today and Always 

Happy Birthday Your Excellency !!!!!!!

Great writeup. Thumb up. Happy birthday Sir, God bless your new age Sir. LLnP.

Not the elaboration of a wedding that matter but how long the marriage last justsaying

To God. Looolz

Is Nigerian military mad ni. Just laff in Chinese

Congratulations babe.

Congratulations babe.

Good for him