₦airaland Forum

TWO JOBS

Q: What''s the difference between a gynecologist and a geneologist?

A: One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.

GRASS EATER

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.

"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, please come to my house!"

"But sir, I have a wife and four children, "

"Bring them along!" the rich man said.

They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."

The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."

The man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.''

The brother thought about it and apologized.

"So how's Mom?" asked the man.

"She's on the roof and won't come down."

LEECHES

What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?

The leech stops sucking you dry after you're dead.

Hey guys, good that you are enjoying the jokes


COMPUTER DIAGNOSIS

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Ha ha ha

Since she wasn't sure she wants the marriage to last 'forever' right from this onset, im glad that you have taken the best decision by letting her go. But on the other hand, appreciate her for being honest with you.

Na wa ooo, which one be incest again

Which planet did you descend from?

Seems ibk is in high spirits. . . what's good girlie?

Who else is there to ask?

If i don't ask you who shd i ask?

And who is she?

Seems you are into all the naija languages

Hey ibk wherever did you get those lines from?
And what makes you think the person understands them

How would i know?

Word!

He he he, pls show me the way out, im waitin. . .

Ok

Ok im Outta here!

Softly softly ooooooo, before i change ma mind and build a tent here

@topic
Na wa oooooo

I can find my way, thanks

ibkaye:
i hate fufu

He he he he. . .
I don't like these too: Fufu, amala, garlic, snail, and i can do without garri

Leaving too, but not immediately. . .

. .

We hear you. . .

Pray. You are already married, and there is no hopeless situation. . . so just pray!

Well marriage is an institution ordained of God, and i believe marriage is for keeps. You know her more than all of us here, so if you are okay with each other and you want to get married, then go ahead and marry her. But I would not advice the use of marriage just for the sake of achieving something. Another thing is that no one is unlovable, and love is a choice, so if you guys are sincere to each other, and if you want to make the marriage work, then you can genuinely decide to love each other even after you are married. And live happily thereafter, which is my sincere desire for you guys.

But if you don't think you can genuinely get married, please find some other ways of helping her, if there is any.