₦airaland Forum

lonelydora:
Yes oooooo. I love my beautiful wife so much, so i apologize when im wrong.

wow you are both blessed.

TLAX:
Just discuss in an open, non judgemental way and be prepared to let common sense prevail. Usually, raised voices are distractions and puts both of you on defensive mode.

...and this last bit for guys, make sure the disagreement does not degenerate to malice, cold war, no speaking terms etc. because you are destined to lose this one. Its unfamiliar territory for you but its built into your spouse/partners DNA and you will most likely loose. Better you make your peace if you are wrong than be forced to eat the humble pie. Trust me!

lol @ humble pie.

Nnemuka:
ewwwwww

dont make me puke.....
so when its his turn to explain why things should go his way, he would equally bring out her breast and play with it?

lol

omojoshy:
Kudos....3rd Party would only take side, add pepper and salt and ultimately be glad that things get worst. Diplomacy, Openness, Patience and communication are the keys to lasting relationship.

And the third party will only judge from his/her own personal experience.

chichriso:
what I do is simply stay clear from her at least for a week and then come back and settle the dispute








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. one week? a lot can go wrong in one week...

lonelydora:
She detest raised voice no matter what the situation is for fear of neighbors hearing our voice, which i sometimes capitalises on to get my way.

Capitalizing on that is so wrong. Repent bro.

Kjking:
Its simple... mind your business

this one na highway to implosion

mrsdee:
Hmmmm. I usually get so angry when I know he is the cause of the conflict. I will do the initial female gragra bu sulking but before the end of the day, I usually call for a dialogue meeting where I bring up theissue and discuss it. I will point out why I feel wronged and then give him an opportunity to discuss his side. We both try and see things from the other's perspective. The wrong side is normally obvious at the end and there will be apologies. I have always maintained the promise of not going to bed with anger. It is not easy but it helps in the long run to swallow one's pride in family affairs. Need I Say more that we end the day with you know what.

Cool. Never let the sun go down upon ur wrath. Great principle.

BCJAY:
Hmmmmmm, some men are not easy to pls no matter how hard you try. He will be at fault and still blame you and if you respond agrily, he will say look at you, you are just going to church for fun just because he is a muslim. I am usually fed up most times despite trying to take it easy, will i go dump all because i profess christ i dont get it but even right now aam very frustrated.

Don't give up on God,keep on being a good wife, pray for him always, trust God for a happy marriage and watch things turn around for good. Never give him the right treatment for his actions, give him the love treatment.

evegran:
Usually raised voices means a lot of things.
1, expressing your pain or anger.
2, demanding to be heard.
3, raising your voice and controlling your body from physical fights.
4, etc. Thats for me tho. Dunno about others

Would really love it if you could explain your points further. I believe many of us will learn from further explanation. Thanks

xeeco:
Basically, we practice open communication over every issue whether sweet or bitter, we don't keep malice, we have learnt to be humble to say sorry if one of us offends the other. We resolve all issues before the next day. Finally, Christ is the bedrock of our marriage, since we pray together in morning devotions and bedtime prayers in the night; We must resolve issues before we can pray.

Wow. My favourite so far. God bless ur home.

evegran:
Well said.
Raised voices and apologies and then great sex. Damn! I LOVE my boyfriend

boyfriend and husband na two different levels o

lonelydora:
I allow her to fume and calm down, then give her some time and educate or enlighten her as a man. She happily accepts my opinions and apologies thereafter.


Just me and her. We talk it quietly. Why raise a voice on your spouse.?

Do you also acknowledge your wrongs and apologize when you are wrong?

Chestar5:
Am not married but i know that the bible gives the best advice for christian couples in resolving issues....so whatever the bible says we will do ...millions have done so and succeeded am sure it will benefit all

Could you pls give us examples of biblical methods?

allanphash7:
After serious of arguement then bed things







Op u know now

Is that what resolves the conflict? Na wa o

Timoleon:
makeup sex

and what follows after that?

bolajioginni:
Omo na beating your spouse sure passs ooo......

I know say you dey joke if not I would have said you belong to the medieval ages.

Dacman:
With sex

Dangerous. Your method treats the symptoms and ignores the cause.

timawoku:
I don't really know how we do it, sometimes we can go from 200MPH to 0, last time we were in a heated arguement, I called her 'egyptian coconut', we both looked at ourselves and busted into laughter. Another time, she was on my neck, things got heated up and she came up to me, I told her not to smack her lips again as it was turning me on, she smiled and I grabbed her, we were giggling and you know the rest...

Bottom line is, know how to end a conflict by understanding your partner, not hitting below the belt, respecting one another, as well as making loads of love, its one of the best marriage gifts!

I love this.

MizMyColi:
You can state dearly and firmly how you feel or what you think without showing aggressiveness or defensiveness.

Have you noticed that you have this need to always be right?
You should have a rethink. It is a form of violence.

You need to watch out for any tendency to mindfully defend an entity or image with some voracious passion. If you take a step back and watch your mind in that particular state of unconsciousness, you will be able to dis-identify from such tendencies, as your consciousness of being from which love, joy, peace and everything good flows from takes over.

This is the end of all arguments and POWER GAMES, which are so corrosive to relationships.


Remember this always, Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within, and it is available to you now.‎ - Excrerpts from https://www.nairaland.com/2500091/power-now-eckhart-tolle-book

wow. everyone should learn this.

captainprogress:
some persons can be very unreasonable, just ensure u dont marry the wrong person. compatibility is a necessity...

spot on

kennyman2000:
This topic has made frontpage before and here's the post of a moniker and that post sticked to my brain since then and i dont think i can ever forget as i gave it to a friend and it worked for her..

Here's the moniker response..


Whenever hubby is yelling, saying, we've to do it this way, that way and she doesnt want it that way.. She'll allow him to yell, say all whatever he wants to say and not utter a word.

Later, when he's calm.. She'll now go and meet him, pray for him to pacify him and also for him to be focused on what she's come to discuss and then explain to him calmly on why they've to do it her own way.. Note: not that, she'll go and say, we've to do it this way.. What she does is to give him detailed reasons why her own way is the best, the advantages, disadvantages of her own method over him own.

As soon as she's done explaining to him.. She'll sharply reach for his di ck, bring it out and started handling and playing with it and the man will just start laughing and thats all..

Gave this tip to a female friend and she came back to give thanks..


Check my signature for ur customised wristbands.

hmmm that's exploitation.

timilehing:
Some people don't just want to be happy in any relationship. No matter how hard you try to settle conflicts or minimize its occurrence, they won't yield. I do wonder if they're from Mars.

Talking from experience

How do you end up with such a spouse?

grad2012:

Is that all?

esebaby4real:
Hummmn.i shouted Jesus

lol. Why? Was he fearfully made?

hahn:
This question will only make sense to Christians because there is a huge "spirit of selfishness" in them. I remember back in secondary school, there was this guy that always came to preach in my class during break. So, one day i went to his hostel with my bowl and asked him to give me garri, sugar and milk. I was looking into this guy's locker and he bluntly refused to give me.

The next day when he and his crew came to my class to preach, i waited till they were comfortable, stood on the table and started shouting and narrating the story to everyone. He and his lot left embarrassed and tried to continue their evangelism in the next class. I no gree ooo, I followed them from class to class till they got tired and called it a day.

I have met kind christians but funny enough they always seem to eventually get tired of the church and end up becoming atheists.

Christians will rather give as a hypocritical gesture than genuine empathy. It's really irritating

You haven't met real Christians then

openmine:
ok since u want to go d Abraham route..let me ask u sum soul-searching questions...
Was Abraham required UNDER ANY LAW to tithe just like the people of Israel?
Are you comparing wat was given as a GESTURE to what is REQUIRED?
Wat covenant are we in right now?
Are we in d dispensation of Abraham?
i ask again...did the early believers pay tithe?


But why do most tithers always run to genesis esp Abraham to say he paid tithes...?
he was actually responding to a kind gesture from the king after he was given food and wine....
he was never mandated or required to give a tithe...besides if u check other translation,you will not find tithe anymore...rather wat you see is tenth... Thats because its obvious the so called "tithe" that Abraham gave to the king was not the same as that which God required for the people of Israel...

hmmm. Pls explain the new testament concept of giving.

All the ghosts viewing this thread make una dey comment na. make your presence known.

All the ghosts viewing this thread make una dey comment na. make your presence known.

openmine:
christ didnt also stop the people of israel from obeying the other laws of moses wen he was on earth..and that was because he was still under that law...he fulfilled the law of moses and ended it on the cross of Calvary.....remember tithe was part of the law of moses....
The question u sud ask is...did the early Christians or believers pay tithes??

Abraham paid tithe before the law.