₦airaland Forum

Mattin:
We are not against the idea of a woman contributing in the home but when a woman start using femininity muscle to override the husband authority/rule in the home, then you begin to ask questions.
We are not against western; (in fact, it has done us more good) but striking a balance to know and make sure western culture is not overriding and being traded for our own basic cultural values.

Stillfire:
Naa, they will make bad housewife materials. Don't marry them when you see them o. Runnnnn as fast as your legs can. They are too hot for the average male o.


Stillfire...too hot for one billion men!

In the african culture the men is the sole provider while the woman takes care of the house and the children. How many of u are against the western idea of a woman contributing jointly as a provider with the husband?














Rubbish!

Mattin:
Cool down and flow with the trend; seems you expect me to start bashing and talk down feminism; no dear, you don't make your opinion look like its the best, you have to weigh opinions, then make your judgments. Don't talk down others; that's what education taught us. We are here to learn.lol

From your comment, you have every right to be mad at culture if not for western intervention no doubt but you should not pray for its death.
You need to know the western culture has its own flaws. Look at what our youths are turning into, due to hyping of western culture here and there.

This western we are talking about is even been adjusted day in day out to match general standard value; why can't we follow suit?
Culture is meant to complement each other like you stated but one should not overshadow the other.

Don't hate your culture, make it better dear.

Mattin:
I will re-emphasize this: Accepting western should not make me a slave to their culture. Human being are meant to improve and grow everyday. We shouldn't be static.
Whatever way I choose to improve myself or environment does not make it superior to me in any way.

BTW, I'm not against feminism and detest any form of gender inequality, I wanna know if feminism has any correlation with our culture; if it is doing more good than bad.

cococandy:
May my daughters not meet someone who thinks like this

Iseee!

Mattin:
Hey Bannanabender, Every culture in the world has its own flaw at one time or the other, but my stand here is: feminism is an intergal part of western culture. Why should I abandon my own value system and start decorating other people's system?
You can bash your culture for all I care but my stand remains; A woman that is submissive is never a slave but respecting the law of nature.

To your last statement, You don't have to be rude or derogatory when voicing a counter opinion.
Thanks

@Highlighted: This is one of those times. Moreover, it's stup1d to relegate ignorance to a specific time period in a human's life; as long as we are not omniscience, we are always going to be ignorant.
Cultural values are created by humans, so naturally they are flawed. Civilized humans tend to improve their culture as they also improve mentally, economically, socially and technologically. When we stopped the killing of twins, did our cultural values diminish? Changing something for the better about our culture does not diminish it, it only makes it better.

We have a culture that values egocentric men over equality. We have a culture as of now, that puts the male child above the female child. We have a culture that promotes our patriarchal society and a culture that makes a wife's needs, dreams, and decisions secondary to that of her husband. Is that the type of culture you want? A culture that elevates one gender over the other?

What really are the principles and values our culture is based on/buttressing?



Are you for real? This is scary. Are you saying that a woman shouldn't think herself equal to a man in the society?? I do not support anything that uses force, violence or insolence to achieve it's objective. Feminism doesn't support that either. In fact, feminism is against the oppression of the female gender.



Why does a woman need the mentorship or rulership of a man to become whoever she wants to become. Don't you even feel ridiculous and repulsed at the notion you're spouting about?? Why does a woman need mentorship and rulership and a man doesn't?? What does a man possess that makes him qualified to rule and mentor that a woman doesn't possess?
It's only normal that once in a while, couples will differ in opinions. A man's opinion is not superior to that of a woman because on the average, no gender is smarter than the other. Eventually, they'll have to learn to compromise. Her husband's decision also affects her, she has every right to oppose it if she believes it is not in the best interest of their home.



What you have up here is not a wife material, you have perfectly defined a slave. Mr Mattin, if you choose to maintain your sick mentality, you would have to buy yourself a slave.

UDOKABESTLUV:
The other day, there was no water in my hostel, so, I went outside to fetch. Now, I have very fragile bones, I can't be messing with my arms, I decided it would be safer if I put the keg of water on my head(advantage of having a big head, shey?). Well, I found someone and together, we balanced the keg on my head. Some dude saw me and sent me a message afterwards saying: Keji, you're a wife material o. If it were to be other girls, they would be forming.
Me (feigning ignorance): what did Keji do o?
Him: I saw the way you put keg of water on your head nah
Me: In your mind now, you would be thinking you're making sense o. Mtchew...
************************
Why does our society still justify a good wife qualities by the amount of suffering she passes through?
Ideally, with the level of civilization the world is experiencing, someone in Africa is thinking a woman is a better wife material because she can put keg of water on her head. Is suffering synonymous to being a wife?
A girl says she doesn't like grinding stone, you shame her for it, a girl says she likes using washing machine, you shame her for it. A girl says she doesn't like pounding yam, you shame her for it. You see, with my level of education and all the stress I am passing through in school right now just to be successful in life, if I cannot afford to make like easier for myself, if I cannot afford a blender, a washing machine, a pounding machine, then, I would be a disgrace to myself, to my family, and to my struggle!
I've read stories of how a man 'tested' his fiance by asking her to sleep in kitchen and she obeyed and he was convinced he could marry her... Oya, gbefun ... An argument was on on social media few weeks ago saying a woman that cannot cook soup with 500 naira is not a good wife material, so, I ask, how many of you men can build a duplex with 10,000 naira? Would you date Dangote's daughter and be testing her with Poverty? You see, some ladies know what they want in life, it is not pride, it is not gold digging, it is called standard. Test a rich lady with Poverty and watch her leave you, not everyone can cope with Poverty.
I have heard a pastor say if his son brings a lady home, he will pack all his dirty clothes outside and if the lady doesn't come to wash them, his son will not marry her. In my mind, I was like, daddy, you will marry your son at last, sir. Whose daughter do you want to turn to your slave? Y'all want to be pampered and your egos massaged by ladies but you keep testing someone's daughter with Poverty and ill treatment and expect her to stay with you. You will be alright at last.
Keep judging a good wife with how well she can absorb Poverty and suffering and Poverty and suffering will keep following you, since that is what you want.
Please, a good wife is someone who will love and support you not necessarily someone who can put up with Poverty and stress.
Yes, we know our mothers suffered, used grinding stones, went to the river, pounded yam and all. But this is the life of baby girls, we have the money and sense to make life comfortable for ourselves, stop shaming girls who seek comfort. Except you have the ambition to be poor, you should have no reason compulsorily searching for a lady who can cook soup with 500 naira.

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MIKOLOWISKA:
but the same woman wants the man to house and feed her and her offspring for the next 40 to 50 years. Nonsense. If you don't want to marry it's not by force o

izzou:


Adesuwa Etomi-Wellignton

Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and how they choose to run their lives

But my wife no fit try am sha. That's a sure banker








NwaAmaikpe, Udo diri gi n'ubochi taa

izzou:


Adesuwa Etomi-Wellignton

Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and how they choose to run their lives

But my wife no fit try am sha. That's a sure banker


As if its a bad thing... How does submittingvro a husband resort to changing her name?, where is it written in the bible she should change her name?, kindly quote. Thank you.

Is it wrong to honour her father?, no father will feel dishonoured by that, except he feels he is not worth it... what of men that honour their own mothers, and put their mothers above their wives, if they have the chance they will definitely bear their mothers names and even impose it on their wives and children.





NwaAmaikpe, Udo diri gi n'ubochi taa

oldtime:
A valid question for this loose untrained type of ladies who think Money is all there is in Marriage, Ask her. Is she working Herself?
They have no tire, they want a Benz Man
they have nothing in their Bank Accounts, yet they want a Man who is a Millionaire
A typical Nigerian Lady, when once you say "I love you" believes you are owing her
These Type of Women Brings Nothing to the Marriage, Rather they are a Burden that you must bare
That is why a woman outside of Nigeria gets married faster while Nigerian ladies at 45 are looking for intimacy gadgets all about like Toke and Ton..

Most of this yeyebrity attention seeker
Even with 25k you can be married and happy

And some fools will start insulting her here. How can a man support his family with 50k a month for goodness sake. A man earning 50k should be looking for a way to improve his earnings not a wife. As the economy is now a wife should be his least concern. I support this lady 100%. For those of you that want to die in poverty, or any man that is looking for a woman that will be feeding him can support her.