.

It’s been three months since i lost my job and was pretty broke. Even my generator noticed we were now managing fuel and it decided to stop
working. Life was getting frustrating.

One Wednesday afternoon, i laid on my bed counting the ceilings in my self contained apartment when Jessica my “runs girl” female neighbour walked in and was like…
“Roma, you sef, no let dis unemployment matter frustrate you, come let me teach you a business opportunity you never thought of.”

She told me how she usually woke up very early on saturdays and board a bus from Ikorodu where we were living to Ikoyi just to go jogging with the aim of catching the attention of some big boys on banana island and how its been working out so far and she was pretty sure that there were big girls of ikoyi who would pick interest in me.

I was excited since there was nothing illegal about it, afterall hunger was already giving me six packs, i was hoping to catch my own big fish also.

I went to the bank, withdrew the last N4500 in my account and bought
sports wears and running spikes, hoping to look like Usian Bolt come saturday.

Saturday came, i woke up as early as 4:30am, wore my sports wear
underneath then put on a casual jeans and polo to appear decent cause my sportswear was a bit tight and I looked funny.

I reached Ikoyi by 5:00am and it was still a bit dark, i removed my jeans and polo at an uncompleted building, hid it at a corner, waited till it was 6.am and i immediately hit the streets running, hoping to catch my big fish today.

I ran to and fro ikoyi hoping to be noticed soon, on reaching ikoyi-lekki link bridge, it was like a market place. People from different parts of Lagos were seen partaking in one form of exercise or the other.

I noticed a group of young sophisticated ladies and vowed in my mind they must notice my presence here.

I began jogging in stunts, chest jogging, broad shoulder jogging, six pack jogging and many unnamed styles of jogging..
Thirty minutes passed and i wasn’t attracting anyone’s attention, so i thought maybe what these ladies need is a man who can protect them.

I started performing boxing stunts, high jab, low jab, hard jab and many more until a very huge man walked up to me and asked if I am a boxer, i replied no and he said he just wants us to fight-train together. I told him i was a dancer and was choreographing my new dance moves and he left.

I decided that today was not my day and was heading home, so i went to get my clothes from the uncompleted building were i hid them.

Few blocks away, an obvious mad man walked passed me, dressed in the same clothes i came with, i prayed for it to be a coincidence until when i got to the building and couldn’t find my clothes. It then dawned on me that my transportation was in the pocket of my jeans trouser that the mad man took.

I was so frustrated. Why must bad things always happen to good people i thought.
I jogged back to the bridge and intentionally fainted there, as people
gathered around and i was receiving first aid, i heard one of those ladies telling her friend that she picked interest in me earlier but who knows, maybe i was epileptic.

i was so pained inside, an ambulance arrived and took me away.
while inside the ambulance, the nurse has already masked me with an oxygen mask and I overheard her telling the driver that there was no credit card on me and she doesn’t think i can afford the hospital bill. That was when i opened my eyes and saw a St. Nicholas hospital I.D on her ( most expensive hospital on lagos island ).

I had to plead with them that i don’t have money to pay their bills before they eventually dropped me off on kingsway road ikoyi.
I had to trek back from the island to ikorodu.

That was how i got to know that Third Mainland Bridge by foot is 1hr,45mins at the speed of 3km/h.
On getting to Ketu, the Lord in his infinite mercies used a bus conductor to help my situation, (those guys are nice at times)
I write you this piece while I recover in my bedroom, please i also need a job.
ROMA.

I came here to look at people' shoes

goosssshh I played dis game tiree hahaa

marieolae:
I miss my playstation 1.

I love you so much.. Don't lie again or my love for you will go away.

CFCfan:

Which branch of the military did you join?

U.S Army, Fort Benning. Columbus, Georgia.

I regret ever joining the U.S Military.. # Yes i Sincerely do. My brother, Na becoS of Money

.

Model Prankster has carried out a social experiment in which model Leah Jung walked around the streets of New York stark naked…Her body was only painted with a real-looking pair of jeans, complete with stitching and on-trend patches. She appeared like she’s actually wearing jeans…but shockingly enough, nobody even noticed she was naked.

The video, which was posted online last week has gone viral with millions of views. Model Praksters said did the experiment to determine how observant people of New York City are. They are apparently not very observant as 90% of the people who walked past Leah didn’t even notice she was naked.

Contact me, If you can't find an Organ Donor. I don't need your Money.

how that one take stop me from drinking mγ̲̣̣̥ kai kai ??

NaNaYaaah:
Im asking this coz im bored

You need hot sex ??

My cousin's pusssy is so sweet, I Will never allow any man to come near her.

My Female cousin & I are Dating.. We do have fantastic & great sex everyday. Abraham marrying
his half-sister Sarah ( Genesis 20:12 ), Lot and his daughters
( Genesis 19), Moses’ father Amram who married his aunt
Jochebed ( Exodus 6:20 ), and David’s son Amnon with his
half-sister Tamar ( 2 Samuel 13)

lulu1986:


Sharp

cool..

lulu1986:

i knew u will come here..anyway how far

XUP

iamord:


is that dude singing or giving the mic Bj

The dude Is singing to his Creator.

Of cos they exist, But in the Dreamz.

Please, help me. I'm new on Nairaland.. Please, how do i comment on this topic ??

My Iphone 6 just Stopped charging.. Please, What should i do ??

# R.I.P in Advance..

This is 2014.. Do people still live in Nigeria ??

Is Nigeria located in Ghana ?? Here in America, pastors have dreadlocks and Tattoos.. Nigeria Is NOT a COUNTRY.

Dear God, Please provide jobs for Nigerian Youths,

1. Thou shall not date any guy out of sympathy. It is not worth it. It has never worth the pain. Ladies beware!
2. Thou shall not do revenge relationship a.k.a let me show my boyfriend I can flirt too. Ladies, that is inflicting more injuries on yourself

3. Thou shall not depend on any man for your daily needs. It has brought more pains than joy to some ladies. Ladies, please!

4. Thou shall never fight over a man. Such men usually don’t have regard for ladies. Ladies, you can ask around if you are in doubt!

5. Thou shall not remain in a violent relationship. You are supposed to be his sweetheart not a punching bag. If he’s looking for whom to punch, refer him to Mike Tyson. Ladies, abi?

6. Thou shall not give IT to him. If he wants IT that desperately, he should put a ring on it. Funny enough, men can wait if they see your worth it. True!

7. Be bold when men toast you. Stop cutting flowers or drawing circles with your leg. Enjoy the ‘toasting’. Don’t forget to pay attention to the pick up lines. Some pick up lines can crack your ribs.

8. If you are not sure of your man especially if the relationship is still new, never take your girlfriend to his house or give her his number or BB pin. Odikwa very risky!

9. As soon as you can, let your man show his face to your people. Your sister or brother or mother. This is very key.

10. Material possessions are good but never let them be the number one factor in choosing a man.

11. Do not forget the golden rule. Always sit like a woman. Some men act like babies when a woman is not properly seated. You know what I mean!

12. Never think you can trap a man with good sex. Fou fou fou… foul! It is an aberration.

13. Be good to men but be firm. Yes firm but don’t scare them away.

14. Men are not in short supply. Don’t let them deceive you. Don’t believe anything in the contrary. Don’t be stampeded into a relationship.

15. If your purpose for financing a man is to keep him, that could be a big mistake. Finance for the right reasons.

16. Men are not the same. Don’t listen to “men are the same jare!” It’s a lie! How many men have you met out of about six billion people on earth? You see am nau, abi?

17. Adventures can be sweet. However, never embark on a long trip to meet a man without informing someone. Never!

18. Guys have a way of saying “don’t let anybody know about us yet.” If the relationship is up to three months and counting,somebody should know about it jor! Better things, they no dey hide am.

19. They say good girls love bad boys. And as a good girl, you are looking for a bad boy to love? OYO for you! Let bad girls love bad boys and good girls love good boys. Nobody should use your head to catch a bullet.

20. Enjoy being single. It does not last forever

# Wicked Comments.

KingTom:
I go buy carton of indoming

So, she likes indomie ??

I will buy golden pad for her

Love, romance and dating in the Nigerian context comes in a very different light, guys are usually groomed to be breadwinners right from the time of dating (except for very few cases), the girl expectedly make demands from time to time. Demands can range from going out for the weekend, local shopping spree at shoprite, shopping for food stuffs, money for makeup or brazilian air, vacation to Dubai/London/Paris/Turkey, new car, plot of land, rental accommodation, new house and so on depending on the guy's financial muscle, as a guy, it is usually a let down if you cant meet your girls demand (you choose her in the first instance!) but to be honest on here, as a true Nairalander, what is the most expensive thing you can ever buy for your woman ??


___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

# If Crystal Palace wins this game, make i die this Night.

Chelshit na Ogogoro Joint.



___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________