₦airaland Forum

kpankpangolo:
Did not read. What is this thread about?

Okay, I glanced through. Anybody making 100K monthly is only securing his lineage in poverty if marriage comes to mind. Two people earning 100K each cannot raise a family and should not consider doing so.

The moderators honestly are the ones encouraging people to open separate threads when they could post opinions and call it a day.

Of course, they can. The deal is how they want to run their marriage. Having kids immediately or postponed? One or two kids total or more than two? Cost of house rent in area they choose to live, readiness to make extra income and so on

Kobojunkie:
Why should she do that if she is in a traditional configuration of marriage?

She doesn't have to as long as the nature of their marriage is defined right before they both said "I do".

Kobojunkie:
By that, is marriage/having children a need or a want?

harjay1986:
My analogy is base on the 100k you earn per month but yet it not enough for you talk less of marrying with such... Having a Marriage or children is decision... But owning a gadget that will not get you additional money just because your friends have such is tag as what you Want because what you need is some thing that can still do the work of that big price gadget without breaking your account.... Imagine Someone earning 100k now paying a house rent of 450k per annum is that not too much

Wanting children or having them is a want, not a need. Needs are clear, simple and non confusing. Food, cloth, shelter, medical treatment and other compulsory things are needs, children are not one of them

SpencerForbes:
The issue here isn't marriage itself—it's the four kids, plain and simple. I'm telling you, if you had stuck to one or two and your wife was also in, the stress wouldn't be hitting you this hard. As a young guy starting out, there’s zero shame in having just one kid and then waiting and planning properly before you have the next, the age gap doesn't matter.

The biggest killer in Nigeria is bad management. People choose 'runs-girl' beauty over brains, they don't plan how many kids they want, and they refuse to start a side hustle like POS or trading. Even worse, they spend money they don't have just to impress the society.

Forget all that competition. Aside from food, school fees, and rent, nothing else is worth stressing over. Poorly management of money is what truly makes marriage look like a burden. If you know the difference between what your family needs and what they want, a man should be fine. So the problem wasn't getting married; it was you having four children—even though they might eventually turn out to be your advantage.

He's paying nannies, his kids teachers (I suspect he's not referring to school fees but home lesson teachers), he's fueling two cars monthly and so on. No matter the amount he's making, he will always struggle to grow

ibechris:
There is absolutely sense in what u have said..
One reason why I don't like people raising children in poverty is because it deprives the child of good things of this life and I was in that shoe and wouldn't want same for my children or even my neighbours child.

Thanks for ur insightful contribution.

The truth is that many men will never marry or have children with the worsening economic situation. Many ladies/women will never get husband, may be single mothers. Single mothers are increasing anyway, at a frightening rate

ibechris:
Someone earning 250k should not try to go close. The person earning 100k should not even promised any woman marriage.

I used to advice men to marry quick but now...I really do not have any advice to give again.

If u don't marry wisely,the marriage would hit u like where a trailer had a head on collision.

Marriage is very dangerous without adequate money to run its internal costs.

I earn 200k plus but it doesn't last me two days. After paying my nanny,pay my children teachers and give to my parents,set aside Nepa bill, fueling two cars in a month ,feeding in a month...I might have spent close to
1.2m...it is crazy...not to mention other sundry expenses...all thanks to my side income.

What do i know self..marriage is not for the faint hearted my people.

If u must marry,marry a financially prepared spouse. That doesn't mean u should look for a rich woman or man ...no! but a woman/ man who is financially prepared to manage with u,live with u in tough days and not a downer

You need to sit down and re-examine your finances and adjust because it looks like you are living above your means. What is your wife doing because you only mentioned your own income? It would be difficult for you to grow financially (saving/investing) this way unless there are some missing information about your income

Wealthyonos:
You can do a small marriage ceremony. You don't have the right to tell me to marry or not, even if I'm jobless. Ozwor

Marriage is not about wedding alone. In fact, wedding should be considered a small aspect of marriage. Life after wedding is what the Op is talking about. If two partners can sit down and discuss their combined income, each partner financial responsibilities and contribution towards the wedding and after the wedding, having kids immediately or to wait few years after the wedding to improve the income, and other stuff like how much to put into the house rent, etc. They're good to go

smileyoo:
a very nice mad man, I wish that he can extend a measure of his madness to the now disgraced nation- where madness is now the order of the day .
is it not the highest form of madness for citizens to be kidnaping and unaliving his fellow vulnerable citizens, without any form of provocation ?
we really need trump's type of madness to cure our own widespread madness .
Nigeria need help urgently, because this present level of carnage is not sustainable .

Just imagine your fam being the first set of casualties since the Intel could be wrong

MedAnon:
If you’re in med school and you’re always hard on yourself, please breathe.
Give yourself permission to be human.
You will still make it.. without destroying yourself in the process.

I'm even more happy today that I didn't get medicine or pharmacy as a course at the end despite wasting seven years writing utme. Today, I may not be more successful than my friends who were able to study medical courses but I sure do have excessive free time to do anything I want, something that is now a luxury for my medical friends

In what capacity could he execute that successfully? Was he planning coup or something?

magoo10:
can you paint a vivid picture why you think so assuming you are not dreaming or procrastinating.

No strong opposition parties so far, just splinters of PDP here and there.

Iceberg3:
Yesterday and still one page!!!!!!


No legendhero zero8zero elsudani ttalk aswani Softmirror helinues maasoap to spice up the soup with maggi and curry...no Yarimo or dotherightthing to add dawadawa to make the obe sweet well well!

Or maybe only "that side" news is what matters to them as deeply kwonsigned self appointed ministers and special analysts of Nna affairs

Is this new or you're just seeing something of this nature since 1999? I need to ask you before we move forward on the topic. Thanks

Emeskhalifa:
Abeg enough of all this fear you people are inciting. What could be worse than what Nigerians are currently going through? No one anywhere is praying for Military takeover but the rot of the politicians with reckless abandon is going unchecked, while the masses are always at the receiving end, reason why you see people calling for military takeover

Even Abacha's regime was not as terrible as it is now so make we hear word abeg

My question for you is "how old are you"? Because the first thing you are going to lose under military rule is your freedom.
What do you know about Abacha regime if I may ask you? Nigerians were eating cassava peals and were using sawdust as fuel. Just six months to 1 year into the dictator rule, your sense go come back

Mayflowa:
You can say he was rude to you. That is understandable but don't just call anyone a fraud without evidence! I don't think someone he scammed would be referring him to you. In these type of business, some visa won't work. Maybe he is overpromising!

What evidence do you still need dear friend? Did you read the statement from the police up there at all? Reading that clearly convinced me beyond doubt that he is a fraud.

Henix:
I heard that the number of his identified victims are over 270 people, with upto 500 million naira collected from them by the fraudster.

The id!or was busy doing giveaway on Facebook with people's money. I heard that he once organized a lavish birthday party for his dog

Imagine! Some people can defend anything

Mrchippychappy:
Global warming no dey affect gbola

Environmental factors are more than global warming dear friend

magoo10:
Tinubu and his laptop boys should go and prepare for elections and stop playing around .the ship has sailed

2027 presidential election is looking more clear like a walkover for Tinubu every single day.

YouAreNobody:
They love nothing more than for other political parties to have issues.
If Tinubu is as good a president as these agbadorians love to pretend he is, why is he afraid of a free and fair election?

What's free and fair election according to your own understanding, let's start from there? PDP is tearing itself apart, you're blaming Tinubu. LP, the same thing. And this ADC party wey never comot for belle, you dey blame Tinubu. When will you people learn to take responsibility for your actions?
Tinubu has suffered.

ZombieTAMER:
I don't believe this shit

errors everywhere

Asia men's tools are generally smaller compared to other continents, not a new information.

Mrchippychappy:
So Argentina and Netherlands own big pass Nigeria own? Meanwhile the black people from Ecuador, Haiti and Brazil that make the top 5 list were all taken from Nigeria during the transatlantic slave trade and are genetically Nigerians. So the gbola that is in the fruit is different from the gbola that is in the tree that the fruit was taken from? OK

Environment factors over many years might have been responsible for changes in genetics over the years

tobenuel:
Put this your stats in inches for better comprehension

Just divide by approximately 2.5

Idaytesj29:
I know, what I am saying is that the revenue from his investment is like 700k naira per annum. So, of it's 700k per month, it could be better and interest people to invest in it. But 700k per annum no be am at all.

I'm actually referring to 700k naira per month. It is huge but if you are not a retiree, you will eventually realise that it is not enough. Because you have needs beyond meeting your basic needs

StoryHaven:
This may sound odd.
Most truths sound like that.

Give your life to Christ. Be active in a Bible based church. And before 2026 December you might be counting days to your wedding.
Just genuinely give your life to Christ.

And stop all those Jacking off. It is part of your problem.

Shalom!

Well, we all know that ladies plenty for churches, he might actually be lucky, he doesn't need miracle if he embraces going to church regularly 😀😀

Kipaji:
1- OP, a lot of people gave you the advice to improve yourself so that you can deserve women later, and I disagree with that.

I already explained why in a thread entitled < "Make Money And Women Will Come" (This Is A Bad Advice) >. I will reproduce my post here:




2- That said, I would also like to question why someone has to improve at all to get women.
It would be like admitting that she is superior to you (and so you need to close the gap to reach her level). Thus, I believe that it is a simpish mindset.

3- When you are "perfecting" and "bettering" yourself to get women, remember that the woman you are currently improving for is being "pounded" by a nobody in the neighborhood who never even heard about improvement, some guy still leaving in his mom's house, her classmate who never had to "improve", or some guy who straight up paid for it. You most likely won't find her a virgin bro, and the guy who deflowered her is no better than you.

4- If you improve, do it for your own wellbeing and that of your loved ones.

He's improving himself for himself, others including the ladies will only see it and hopefully be attracted to him.
All advices you're trying to dismiss are about what Op wants and how to get it. He's the one who wants to attract ladies of specific qualities and people are telling him what he needs to do. He has choices or options, he can improve himself, change his game and attract the kind of ladies he wants or ignore the advices as you advised and continue his life the way it is and hoping for luck or miracle

emmaodet:
And what of millions of guys that won't make any headway into their 30's? despite the efforts they put in due to harsh location they meet themselves.
I see my brother in this quagmire and he finds himself in his early 30's unprepared - Not certificated, no business nor skill, not a hustler, no girlfriend, no money, Nothing

I hope he doesn't end up becoming a criminal or off himself as a result of depression.

VOsimhen144:
at your age, u suppose to dey chase the bag aggressively, leave woman alone, 100k a month is damn too low, invest more on yourself so you can earn more.

That doesn't mean that he shouldn't have dating experience because there is difference between marrying and dating

Drifter02:
At 25 years, I've never had a proper girlfriend.. might sound like fiction but it's true

I've actively chased girls all my life.. but I've never actually met any that liked me for me..

This was particularly worse in university.. all the girls I met were dumb and were only interested in chasing good grades instead of just actively existing..

Some are even married now and their lives are still robotic and pathetic.. these days they're chasing corporate certifications and more needless difficult things instead of just calming down and living their lives

Interestingly, the only one that had a school cert I met that gave me her number later told after two years (we never had sex btw) that she feels my family won't allow us marry as I had a BSc and she doesn't.. (young girl of 22 ).. naso she break things up. Bro the reason was just weird and strange. I suspect though she has another man she's attracted to.

All the other girls I keep meeting keep using me for money.. rather than bonding emotionally, it's always send me card.. buy me ice cream.. take me out.. stupid nonsensical crap and whatnot

Bro.. I'm just tired. I earn 100k a month and all I do I just sit indoors, jerk off and hate my life.. it's almost true love died with the last century. Without a partner.. my life just feels hollow and meaningless

You are not doing some things right, simple as ABC.
May be you are at the wrong places for a partner, may be you're looking at the wrong sett of ladies for a possible partner. May be you are presenting yourself wrongly and you're giving wrong signals. The "may be" could go on.
Change your strategy

Islam is taking over gradually, everyone knew that it is gonna happen, just a matter of time

Brendaniel:
The very same religion is the only one that always claims it is a religion of peace but in reality they have proven to a large extent it is the opposite..

Lol. USA claimed to be Christian country, yet it kills more people around the world than the rest of the world. Keep fooling yourself

pansophist:
They probably treated him wrong.

Most families are dysfunctional. Most families have not been to a therapist, and make effort to purge out unhealthy patterns.

It’s very difficult for a person to cut off with their biological families, and men typically do that when they create their own family.

Lots of dysfunction in families are revealed during adulthood, since the parents will take the backseat and the children will continue from there.

How the siblings will relate with each other especially with the differences in financial status, educational level, life challenges and past resentment will depend on the love they have for each other.


Since the siblings are adults with agency, they will iron out their past resentment which might lead to a permanent breakdown of the relationship.

In many cases, it is parents that are the glue to sibling relationships. Without a present parent, most siblings ain’t fan of each other.

And the more successful a sibling is, the more likely he would be the target of the others who ain’t successful, hence, a pressing need for the successful one to just cut off.

This is probably what’s going on here.

His siblings also treated him wrong, so also were his friends.
How many people do you know whose parents treated them wrong while they were sponsoring their education as medical students?

MemoriesAndMe:
That's not a way to measure people's success overseas, everyone's situation is different.
I know of a childhood friend based in Russia that had problems with his Russian wife. They had done some deals together and he ended up getting locked up in prison for 5 years.

When he got out was when he contacted all of his childhood friends for support. He couldn't even get a good job as a felon and said his passports were taken from him as part of his sentencing, so he couldn't leave Russia when we spoke. He had a Russian passport and a Nigerian passport,his Russian passport was taken from him and his Nigerian passport wouldn't take him to other European countries he wanted to try without a visa.

Someone like that is struggling with getting his life back, so its not entirely his fault that he got lost in Russia.

They gave out information they knew about him you also gave out information you knew about your childhood friend, the stories are not the same. Why should we assume their information is wrong and yours is correct? Flow with the info you are given, don't assume otherwise

budaatum:
One thing I've learnt is, siblings can assume they all got the same good treatment, when the truth might be that some are not treated as well as some. And though some may claim someone "was well treated as a kid", they don't know how the kid felt about its treatment.

I say the above to add rationality to the actions of this "kid". It is also possible that the kid's action might be irrational, and that he truly was treated well as a kid and now just does not care about his parent's no more, or it can be that his new location has its on hardships that have caused issues for him so his thinking is bent.

If we don't walk in his shoes we'd never know his journey, basically, and any judgement might be ill informed and hasty, and is definitely a "million dollar question", and "life".

Trash, straight to the dust bin

Idaytesj29:
Well, it's only if this 700k returns will be monthly.

In Nigeria of today, 700k naira monthly might not be able to meet your finances most especially if you have a wife and kids who are still growing up and under your care