₦airaland Forum

A woman who had been barren for 31 years has been blessed with twin children at the age of 56, God is wonderful.

A 56-year-old woman who has been married for 31 years without a fruit of the womb now has cause to thank God as she was delivered of a set of twin children after many had written her off.

The woman, according to her relatives, had been abandoned by her husband's family who thought she could never bear children but with patience and at God's appointed time, she was delivered of her bouncing babies, 'to the shame' of those who had written her off.

One of her nieces who goes by name Oyin, who goes by the Twitter handle, Kay Tyler, took to the...
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HERE IS THE TESTIMONY OF THE BOTH FAMILIES.

I'm completely pitiful to report that Rhythm 93.7FM PH on-air identity, essayist and motivational speaker, Iphie Aggrey-Fynn was shot dead by equipped looters along Aba-Port Harcourt road yesterday.

The Ghanaian-conceived OAP and blogger had gone to see her guardians in Aba and was headed back to Port Harcourt when their transport was assaulted by furnished criminals.

As the driver endeavored to hurry away, the shooters open fire on the transport, murdering the..
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My hand is not in this one o....lol. I found the allegation on The Breaking Times. Read what they wrote below...

Investigations by Breaking Times on Monday revealed that Aisha Buhari, wife of the President of Nigeria wore a Cartier Baignoire Folle 18-Carat White Gold Diamond Ladies Watch that cost £34,500 to President Buhari’s inauguration on Friday, May 29.

The equivalent of this at the current CBN foreign exchange rate of N303 to £1 is N10, 453, 000.
The Cartier Baignoire Folle 18-Carat White Gold Diamond Ladies Watch comes in a case made of rhodiumised white gold set with brilliant-cut diamonds. On the side of the case is an octagonal crown set with a diamond. The case is 44mm high, 35mm wide and 10mm thick and is covered by glare-proof sapphire crystal glass.

President Muhammadu Buhari was elected riding on the wave of strong anti-corruption, integrity and pro-masses sentiment.

This shocking extravagance by Mrs. Buhari runs contrary to earlier indications that the Buharis are modest and the President, a pastoral farmer with 150 cows, barely raised the money to pay for his....
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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE WATCH..

Model; Joan Smalls spreads Porter Magazine faultless, examine the shocking spread...

Popular fashion model; Joan Smalls covers the latest issue of Porter magazine and she made the perfect poster girl.

The Puerto Rican fashion model who made number eight on Forbes magazine's "World's Highest-Paid Models" list in 2013 was sexy in a green swimsuit with bold cutout wearing natural makeup look with her hair in flirty tousle covering up with a fur coat for the....
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A man who got hitched to a lady so that he could get the American green card fiercely wounded her when she let him know sex was not piece of the marriage.

A man who got married to an arranged wife so that he could get a green card to enable him become a citizen of the United States of America, Upali Pelige, has been arrested for stabbing the woman who wanted to help a man get the card by marrying him because she would not have sex with him as that was not part of the arrangement.

Reports in Latest.com say that Pelige wanted to consummate the 'marriage' by having sex with the 27-year-old Danisha Rogers, at their apartment in Brooklyn, but when she refused, he brutally stabbed her and has been charged with attempted murder and assault.

The newly 'married' couple allegedly got into a disagreement after Pelige wanted to have sex, believing that she was his legal wife but she rejected his advances, claiming the marriage was just for the convenience of him getting a green card. Pelige reportedly flew into a rage and...
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If you had fun watching Vincent D'Onofrio as Wilson Fisk on 'Marvel's Daredevil', then get ready for more of him.

Following his successful performance as Wilson Fisk on Marvel’s Daredevil, Vincent D’Onofrio is set to return on screen as a villain.

According to The Hollywood Reporter D’Onofrio is in negotiations to play the villain in Warner Bros. Pictures’ upcoming CHiPs movie.

The movie which is based on the NBC television series, is to be written by Dax Shepard, and would also star Michael Pena.

D’Onofrio will play an auto-stealing ringleader and a ruthless former cop in the upcoming Warner Bros. Pictures movie....
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Military officers presented above amid a military parade practice in front of Friday's initiation function at Eagles Square Abuja.

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The New Choose Commandant Photos Here:

On-Ru Couture uncovered another amassing on the first day of the 2015 Africa Fashion Week Nigeria with refined pieces in a direct presentation. Scout the runway photos.

The annual and second edition of Africa Fashion Week Nigeria kicked off on Saturday; 23rd May 2015 with a showcase of stunning pieces from upcoming brands who brought the runway to life. If you missed first photos from day 1, check it here.

The Africa Fashion Week Nigeria 2015 is officially done but the fashion statements from the event continue to linger.

The Day 1 showcase started off to a wet start but the fashion brands brought their best on the runway with major trends like crop tops, sheer pieces, bold colours, pastels, fringe and tassel details and more dominating the red carpet.

On-Ru Couture, an emerging brand presented the collection to an expectant audience on the first day held at the Eko Marquee unveiling feminine pieces with clean cut lines, featuring details in tulle and tutus.

The brand played with a lot of delicate embellishments, lace, delicate trains tilting towards an almost bridal collection. The showcase was simple and straight to the point.

Check out the photos off the runway above here:

Africa Fashion Week Nigeria 2015 day 2 pregala and festival saw a lot of style presentation from creating brands who lit up the runway again for day two (2)

(Take a gander at first photos from day 2 here)

The annual and second edition of Africa Fashion Week Nigeria kicked off on Saturday; 23rd May 2015 with a showcase of stunning pieces from upcoming brands who brought the runway to life. If you missed first photos from day 1, check it here.

The day 2 and Pre-Gala showcase set for 24th May was ultimately impressive as even more designers came out to play with even more stunning pieces for a grand round off before the gala night.

Brands including Chaivo, Okiki Marinho, VHOR (Vice House of Roy), House of Solange, Osuare, Lumiere, Lorenore, T-Ngazy, Marco Martinez, Revolution by Yetty D, King Hakbal, Elikem The Tailor, Baroque by Wendy.

Other fashion brands like TrishO Couture, JPK Kouture by Hadassah, Africa Fashion Today from Switzerland, Big Ben Kilani, House of Muafechi, J-Reason, Lines by Chaab, Day_Idah, Faw Couture.

The Iro and Buba evolution by Toyin Lawani of Tiannah Styling also showcased on day 2 and at the gala night bringing the anticipated fashion event to a close last night. Performances and more made the night exciting.

Check out first photos from the fashion event. Keep refreshing for designers' showcase and getting....
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Okonjo-Iweala clarified that an aggregate entirety of N6.21 trillion from the ECA was shared between the individual governments.

Finance Minister, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala has explained how funds from the Excess Crude Account (ECA) were shared by the Federal and State governments between 2011 and 2014.

Okonjo-Iweala explained that a total sum of N6.21 trillion from the ECA was shared between the respective governments.

She disclosed this via a statement released on Sunday, May 24, 2015, by her Special Adviser on Communications, Paul Nwabuikwu.

The breakdown shows that the Federal Government received the sum of N3.29tn, while the 36 states got a total of N2.92tn from the ECA within the four-year period.

The minister had promised to disclose the details of accrual into and disbursement from the ECA after the Nigerian Governors’ Forum (NGF) led by Rivers State Governor, Rotimi Amaechi alleged that the sum of $20 billion had gone missing from the...
[url=massbestentertainment.com/2015/05/federal-government-states-shared-n6trn-from-eca-account-in-4-years/]Read more..[/url]


[url=massbestentertainment.com/2015/05/federal-government-states-shared-n6trn-from-eca-account-in-4-years/]- SEE MORE HERE[/url]

Jason Derulo covers the new issue of Billboard magazine where he talks about growing up, his music, physical fitness and his love life since breaking up with Jordin Sparks

On growing up: “My mom says I was an introvert. I never saw myself that way, but I was always focused. I didn’t spend a lot of time doing things that I didn’t think would make me great.

I studied all kinds of dance, all types of music. I got good grades. I started hitting the recording studio around 13.”

On his post-Jordin love life: What does his love life look like now? “A deck of cards,” he says, slapping the table and laughing. But really, he’s “having a good time getting to know people.” He adds, "I do get...
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WOMEN DON'T HESITATE TO READ THIS POST TO THE END AND LEARN MORE:

Women, don't hesitate to lose your virginity at whatever point you feel like. Simply verify it is something you need to do instead of something you're constrained into doing.

At the point when did engaging in sexual relations with a male turn into an advantage to the male? Forget me in case I'm wrong however I'm almost certain both sides included do appreciate it.

On the off chance that as a female you're abhorring your sexual coexistence on the grounds that your boo is a gra-gra man and just knows how to make himself have a climax, I recommend you discover another.....
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CLICK ON THE SYMBOLS BELOW TO VIEW THE 30 STRANGE DOGS TODAY:

This man has an accident that landed him to this condition and you that is alive today you have your legs complete, Why are worrying yourself?

Don't comment yet until you view this man's accidental photos on the link below:

#peter??>ass<cuteddoc>

VERY IMPORTANT TO EVERYONE READ TO THE END FROM NUMBER 1 - 4

When I was growing up, my father owned a small business. And when I say small, I mean small: It was my father and an occasional day laborer. My mother, brothers, and I would help do the silkscreen printing on the drapery fabrics he sold. We were an all-hands-on-deck operation, guided by my father’s belief that if you worked hard and did what you were supposed to do, opportunities would be there for you.

Despite generations of progress on so many other fronts, it’s still too hard to get a business started today. Hard work is no longer enough to guarantee opportunity. Credit is too tough to come by. Too many regulatory and licensing requirements are uneven and uncertain.

And yet, as I travel around the country, I hear signs of optimism. Just yesterday, I sat down with a group of small business owners at Bike Tech in Cedar Falls, Iowa. I met a young man named Brad Magg. He started his first catering business at 15 with a loan from a local bank — they were willing to take a chance on a very young entrepreneur after years of watching him sell baked goods while in elementary school. At 20, Brad decided he wanted to start a restaurant — just as the owner of the local ice cream shop, Goldie’s, was getting ready to retire. He bought the business from Goldie herself (and liked the name so much he kept it). Like many business owners, Brad struggled to make ends meet during the Great Recession, so he sought help from a Small Business Administration program in his town. With support and sheer determination, he was able to save his business. Today Goldie’s Ice Cream Shoppe has grown from one and a half employees to almost 30.

That’s the spirit that got Americans through the Great Recession. And as we come back from the crisis, potential new business owners and entrepreneurs from Silicon Valley to Des Moines to Brooklyn are ready to seize the moment. All they need are policies that help them get ahead instead of holding them back.

That’s why I want to be a small business president. Throughout this campaign, I’ll be proposing specific ways to help jump-start small business, including:

1. Cutting the red tape that holds back small businesses and entrepreneurs. It should not take longer to start a business in the U.S. than it does in Canada, Korea, or France.

2. Expanding access to capital.Small business owners need access to financing and credit to build, grow, expand, and hire. Lending has recovered since the crisis, but it’s still hard for new firms to get credit. A Federal Reserve Survey found that the current market is especially hard for the smallest firms and startups. And despite the fact that millions more women have opened businesses and become their own boss in recent years, they’re still starting out with about half the financial capital as their male counterparts.
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Sports records five players who have moved from Manchester United to Real Madrid. David de Gea next?

Real Madrid are after Manchester United goalkeeper, David de Gea with reports suggesting that the 24-year-old Spanish goalkeeper has agreed a deal to join the La Liga giants.

It is a nostalgic scenario for Manchester United fans who have seen Real Madrid come for their best players in the past.

Mass-best Sports bring you five players who have moved from Old Trafford for the Santiago Bernabéu.


CLICK ON THE SYMBOL BELOW TO VIEW THE PHOTOS:

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ONE OF THE ATTACHED HERE BELOW:

2face Idibia has just been hit hard by a supposed childhood friend of the superstar, Eric Amodu.

In an open letter to 2face, Eric has addressed the superstar on his latest rant against the Nigerian government with 2face having said: ‘Since 1999, the government hasn’t done anything worth celebrating’ just days ago.

Read Eric’s open letter below.. ‘Too bad you threw the bomb at yourself on this. You are my friend but the truth must be told.

Question 1. Name a single soul you’ ve ever helped?

Question 2. Why did your fellow childhood friends deserted you?

Question 3. What have you given back to the society that made u?

Infact lets go deeper First of all, OJB produced you and brought you to limelight and even gave you a song for free without you paying a dime. But you threw your back at him when the world was rallying round to save his life. Not even a dime from you when lesser musicians gave their widows mite.

No any Idoma sons could say he’s on your scholarship list yet you have the mouth to talk back at the people that you helped in eating from their states’ funds. You ate the resources meant for Benue State during Akume days in PDP as a governor when he bought you a Camry. How about Donald Duke when he was the PDP governor of cross Rivers State? He lavished the state resources for you and still paid 20 million naira just to reunite the plantation boiz yet you have the guts to say PDP did nothing? Better still, you for reject all the money.

Akwa-Ibom state governor under the PDP-led government lavished the money meant for the state to sponsor your wedding. Why didn’t you kick against it when he gave you eight jeeps and sponsored several people to Dubai just to attend your wedding?

Jolly Nyame wasted the state resources on you and you practically abandoned Lagos for Taraba just because you began to taste the juicy side of unmerited resources from government coffers. Don’t forget… when you sang ‘I dey feel like so so so and so person… because you de spend for me.’ Over 70% of the names you mentioned were PDP people you joined in eating away the future of their states.

Brother man, sorry to say this… you don’t even stand the moral ground where conscience speaks to talk about PDP. I would love Banky W, the little Davido that just started, Ice Prince, Don Jazzy and so many others to talk because.... Continue...

Starboy boss, Wizkid has been globetrotting in the last 5 weeks.

Since his performance with Chris Brown in South Africa in the first week of April and his subsequent video shoot in the country, he’s been to London, Houston, Los Angeles and he’s currently on his way to Amsterdam.

In the middle of all the travelling, the ‘Jaiye jaiye’ singer is missing his 4-year old son, Boluwatife whom he hasn’t seen in over a month. He took to Twitter to make it known to fans and followers who have...
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2Face Idibia at the 2010 MTV MAMAs in Lagos. Photo: NET

2Face Idibia ended the night as one of the big winners back in 2010 when the MTV Africa Music Award held at Eko Hotel and Suites in Lagos. Photo: NET

There’s been a lot of buzz around the big announcement by MTV today. Well, the announcement has been made and it’s about the 5th edition of MTV Africa Music Awards.

Popularly known as MAMAs, the prestigious award will hold on July 18, 2015 in Durban, South Africa and nominations for the award will be released on June 11, 2015.

The MTV MAMAs made it’s debut in Abuja, Nigeria in November, 2008.

The second edition held in Kenya in October 2009 while the 3rd edition was held in Lagos, Nigeria in December 2010. After a 3 year break, the award ceremony returned in June 2014 and it held in Durban, South Africa and it is returning for the 2015 edition it will be a thing of... [url=massbestentertainment.com/2015/05/mtv-announced-the-winner-of-5th-edition-of-mamas/]Continue...[/url]

First Lady Patience Jonathan says she never thought in her life that she will be the First Lady of Nigeria. She said this during the thanksgiving and farewell service organised by the Aso Villa Chapel for her and her husband, President Jonathan yesterday May 17th. Mrs Jonathan while thanking God, revealed how she survived 12 major operations in the one month. She expressed gratitude to God that she and her husband were leaving the villa alive. What she said after the cut...

I really thank God for keeping me alive. He is a miraculous God. God is so wonderful in my life, because people prophesied that one of us will not go back (leave the villa alive). But God has made it possible… two of us are going back healthy. I never thought in my life that I will be First Lady.

I never dreamt of being wife of a deputy governor because my husband was not a politician. But God made it possible and God lifted us up from deputy governor and here we are. We should be grateful to God for what he has done.

To me and my family, we praise God. To our followers, today it might not be too good but I want them to be grateful to God because you have followed us for a long time from deputy governor, governor, vice-president, president. You know this position is not for life.
There is no permanent thing, so I want you to take it in good faith, that it is the will of God and you should be praising God. God is really wonderful. That is for the political side. To my own real life, I thank God for keeping me alive today.

God is so wonderful. Just two years ago, I went through operations upon operations. Within one month, I passed through 12 operations. Some people said ‘she is dead’ but God resurrected me. God told me ‘my daughter go back I will give you second chance, go and finish your work’. “And today if my husband lost this election I believe God has made me finish the work.

This year, my husband was campaigning. That campaigning time was a trial for me. Satan came in again and those that know the former president and his wife, her corpse was carried out of this place. We thank God that I and my husband are going alive.

Thank God today we are parting with life and not with death. Our doors are open. This campaign period, devil struck and came in again. In pains I was rushed to the hospital in January and the doctors told me ‘mama you have to go for major big operation now now.

The campaign was still going on and I wondered how we were going to explain to Nigerians. You know even when you go for check-up, they will be writing in papers saying all sorts of things. I said I and my family have to handover.

My husband will continue with his campaign crowd until the last day. That was how I went in for the first major operation in January ending. And by God’s grace I went for the operation and came out and it was from that operation that I went to the campaign ground. And they told me mama, there is another bigger operation that you have to go in for. But that this one would not be in this hospital; it is too small for this type of operation. You have to go to a bigger hospital. I said I will go; I have faith in God and that my God will see me through. He has brought me out for a purpose.

I called my pastor to continue praying for me. They want me to be a sacrifice, but I will never be. Then, I went to the bigger hospital. I booked for the operation and I was asked to go for the campaign. They gave me a new date.

I had paid for everything remaining just to enter the theatre and the thing occurred to the hospital to check me again. By then, my husband had lost the election.

I have packed out of Villa, we are about going. Behold! I went to four hospitals again (for screening) and the thing vanished. My doctors were surprised they didn’t think that could happen.” she said..
Read more of her speech here....


- See more at : http://massbestentertainment.com/2015/05/patience-jonathan-i-never-thought-id-become-first-lady-in-my-life/

At the point when Peter posted a photo of himself flexing his etched abs on Instagram, a great deal of his supporters felt it wasn't right for a wedded man to uncover his body like that freely.

Peter Okoye of P Square who was recently criticized by his fans for posting a shirtless picture of himself on Instagram, has responded to the criticisms.

When he posted a picture of himself flexing his chiseled abs on Instagram, a lot of his followers felt it was wrong for a married man to expose his body like that publicly.

Well Peter has responded to the criticisms. "#keepTalking Married✔️ Husband✔️ Afather✔️ @34✔️ You'r Jealous✔️ Jealousy is just Love and Hate at the same time. And it's a terrible disease. Get well soon #keeptalking # ☕️ #itsShowBusiness" he wrote on Instagram today, May 15. He posted another picture showing off his...
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It's obvious that Peter does not care what other people think.

Read his words on Amaechi….

“In the course of the historic campaigns for the 2015 Presidential election I was emphatic that the election itself was a great opportunity to popularise and test the noble idea of a Common Sense Revolution in Nigeria. Soon enough we found in the resonance of the APC Change mantra with the electorate a confirmation that Nigeria needed a Common Sense Revolution that is non-violent.

“Indeed there is a publication with that title authored by me in which I argued that Nigeria was ripe for a change of leadership and Nigerians must act in a Common Sense and rational way in choosing their leaders. The results of the March Presidential elections and that of April have demonstrated clearly the desire by Nigerians for change.

“Elections over, both the leaders and citizens must brace up to meet the challenges required to built a better, more prosperous nation. Indeed, even as we subscribe to the tenets of Common Sense Revolution, we must retool ourselves the new leadership must embark on policies that will improve the general well being of the mass of our people.

“Permit me to recall here how I once attempted to encapsulate the idea of Common Sense Revolution: “…

“It is a positive one to rescue, repair and restructure the nation and its institutions in ways that further collective prosperity and well-being. The only violence that is to be done is to violence, injustice and poverty themselves. At its essence, a common sense revolution is a call to return to a level of decency in the relationship between government and the governed, between each one of us and his neighbor…” That was at commissioning of people-centred projects on March 23, 2015 in Kano under the leadership of Governor Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso.

“We are here today, because one of the generals in the Common Sense Revolution Army, Rotimi Amaechi is bold and willing to show the world what he has achieved in the task to chart the critical path to total political and economic emancipation of the people whose mandate he enjoyed for 8 years.

“In my view, our gathering to celebrate the landmark achievements of my brother, Governor Rotimi Amaechi, in Rivers State in the last eight years is also another justifiable celebration of idea of Common Sense Revolution for development. The publication of the book, Dynamics of Change: The Amaechi Years is a timely service to history. This occasion is all the more remarkable because of the huge challenges Amaechi has been facing especially in his second term from an extremely hostile federal government. His role as the chairman of the Governors’ Forum invariably brought him into a bitter collision with President Goodluck Jonathan.

“Governor Amaechi and most of the governors want a properly defined federalist relationship with the government at the centre. The President would have none of that as in the notable example of the management of the federation account. This is, therefore, another great opportunity to salute Amaechi’s rare courage of conviction and sense of purpose. The All Progressives Congress (APC) has every cause to be proud of him.

“You can, therefore, imagine how much gratified I feel at the immense intellectual efforts invested in the publication of Dynamics of Change: The Amaechi Years. I salute the editors and authors of essays in the book. It is thoughtful of them to document the legacy of Amaechi in Rivers state. The high quality schools, hospitals, roads, bridges, security and human capacity projects, among others, richly documented in the book are a testimony that social democratic ideas can indeed be implemented in this clime.

“It is our hope that the legacy of governance for genuine development that Amaechi is leaving behind in Rivers would inspire state governments to make the welfare and security of the people the focus of governance. It is important to empahasise that security here includes social security if the war against poverty must be won.

“The APC change agenda is anchored on the three Rs- Reform, Relief, Relief, and Recovery. It is the Tripod upon which Nigeria must operate in order to unleash her potentials.

“Rotimi will go on from here to continue to serve Nigeria in key positions. He will not be alone. He will share the company of many change agents and professionals who have cast their lots with the new political order under the Leadership President elect, General Muhammadu Buhari”.
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Governor of Yenagoa, Seriake Dickson of Bayelsa on Thursday denied that he was planning to leave the Peoples Democratic Party for the All Progressives Congress.

Dickson made the denial in a reaction to claim by Sen. Clever Ikisikpo while defecting to the APC on Wednesday in Abuja.
The lawmaker who defected from Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) had announced at the ceremony that the Bayelsa was ready to move over to the APC.

But Dickson in a statement issued in Yenagoa by his Chief Press Secretary, Mr Daniel Iworiso-Markson, described the assertion of Ikisikpo, who represents Bayelsa-East Senatoral District as “uncharitable”.

He said that the senator made the comment out of frustration. “Ikisikpo wants to dignify his perfidy and rope Gov. Dickson into his dubious defection scheme.

“He is a man who rose from relative obscurity through the platform of the PDP from 1999 as House of Assembly member and later to the National Assembly.

“And, he is serving as a two-term member of the green chambers and from there rose through the shoulders of President Goodluck Jonathan to the Senate.

“He could not even, as a mark of honour and respect, wait for the president, his benefactor, kinsman and leader of a political party that gave him so much, to leave office before defecting to the APC.

“It shows the height of desperation, treachery, mischief and blackmail perpetrated by some of the so-called PDP leaders, who worked to deny the party victory at the polls even against one of their...
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don't mention any stupid name here ok instead you mind your own Biz @ englishmar

Men of the Nigerian Police Force Arrests a guy and they were checking his phone.

At that moment of checking his phone, a text message comes in.

It says, "Please, if you are coming, buy one Ak-47 with 6 bullets so we can be prepared for tonight's operation."

How would the guy explain to the police that his friend meant Vodka (Ak-47) and Energy drink (Bullet)?

To make matter worse, his friend's name is Robert but he saved it as "ROB-1" on his phone! What should the guy do...
Step One" Read more..



Grandma's House.

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.

When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating straight away.

Johnny, wait until we’ve said our prayer,” his mother reminded him.

I don’t have to.” the little boy replied. “Of course you do.” his mother insisted.

We say a prayer before eating at our house.

That’s at our house,” Johnny explained, “but this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.... and..
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The American police style:
Investigate he's a thief till you find an evidence to catch him.

The China police style:
Chase the thief till he gets tired, then you catch him.

The Arab police style:
Kidnap the thief's wife and threaten the thief to surrender.

The Indian police style:
Allow a pretty damsel sing for him to lure him closer, then you catch him

The Nigerian police style:
Catch any person on the street, beat him until he agrees he is a Thief.




Wealthy Chief.

A wealthy chief just got beaten and robbed in his mansion.

He immediately rushes to the police station to make a report.

At the police station, the following conversation ensued.

CHIEF: Hey officer! I just got robbed!

POLICE: (brings out a pen and piece of paper) Where and When sir?

CHIEF: Today in my house.

POLICE: Ok.

CHIEF: The worst is that those hoodlums slapped and knocked stars out of my eyes.

POLICE: (looks up immediately) What is the color of the stars sir?
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"CLICK HERE TO ENTER LATEST LAUGHING JOKES FORUM"

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day.

As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.

He then calls the girl and gives her $50 and says "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties as it is not good to walk around without any panties on.

The girl then goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her.

When the mother asks where the girl got the money from, the girl explained what happened.
Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church. As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs.

The priest then notices the lady and calls her down. The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything walks back to the priest very calmly. The priest then gives the lady $1 and says, "Take this money and for God's sake, buy yourself a razor!
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"GET MORE LATEST LAUGHING JOKES @ Massbestjokes.com

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.

It’s a bad one, caused by the woman’s reckless driving.

Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So, you’re a man.

That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, ”I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle.

My car is completely damaged, but this bottle of wine didn’t break.

Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?” She replies, “Nah.

I think I’ll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence.” (drunk driving offence) Adam ate the apple again !Men will NEVER learn !Women will Never change! Facebook​​​​​ Tweet​​​​​ 281


Twice Wish:

A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure.

He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out.

The genie said, "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed and said, "I wish I had a mansion."

The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions.

The man said, "I would like a million dollars."

The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars.

Then the man said, "Scare me half to death." Facebook​​​​​ Tweet​​​​​ 206, And
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"GET MORE LAUGHING JOKES @ #entertainment-world