₦airaland Forum

Respect Jagaban for mostly being on top of political games and governance.

If you want peace, you have to prepare for it.

Well deserved to be nominated for such award, Congrats to President Tinubu

Sapasenator:
Hello Nairalanders,

I am completely lost and need advice. My name is Olumide Adeyanju(Not my real name), and I’m a 42-year-old civil engineer based in Lagos. I’ve been married to my wife, Tola, for seven years. We have a son together, Jidenna, who is five years old. Our marriage hasn’t been perfect, but I thought we had something solid—until recently.

When I met Tola, she was a divorcee. She told me her first marriage to a man named Dapo Olatunji ended after three years due to irreconcilable differences and I believed her. According to her, Dapo had anger issues and was overly controlling. She said she left the marriage to protect her mental health and focus on building a better life for herself. At the time, I admired her courage, and we built a beautiful relationship.

Last month, everything changed. Tola and I were invited to a wedding in Lekki. As fate would have it, Dapo was also at the wedding. It was the first time they were seeing each other in nearly 10 years. I noticed they exchanged pleasantries, and while it seemed cordial at first, something about the way they looked at each other didn’t sit well with me.

In the weeks that followed, I started noticing subtle changes in Tola’s behavior. She began acting distant and spending more time on her phone, often smiling at her screen like a teenager in love. When I asked her what was going on, she brushed it off, saying it was just "work stress."

Then, two weeks ago, I came home early from work and found her on a video call with Dapo. She didn’t realize I was home, so I overheard parts of their conversation. They were laughing and reminiscing about their past together—things like how they used to travel to Abuja for weekend getaways and the time he bought her a surprise gift for her birthday. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment between lovers.

When I confronted her, she admitted that she and Dapo had been talking regularly since the wedding. She claimed it was "nothing serious" and that they were just "catching up as friends." But I don’t believe her. Her behavior has changed so much. She’s more secretive, and I even found out she met up with him last Saturday without telling me. She said it was a "closure" meeting, but why does she need closure after all these years?

Now I’m stuck. I love Tola, but it feels like her heart is being drawn back to Dapo. I’ve spoken to my elder brother, Kunle, and he thinks I should stand my ground and fight for my marriage. But my best friend, Tunde, says I should let her go if she’s already emotionally checked out.

I don’t know what to do. Should I confront Dapo directly? Should I give Tola an ultimatum to stop talking to him? Or should I quietly walk away and let her decide who she really wants to be with?

Please, Nairalanders, I need your honest opinions. Have you experienced or heard of a situation like this? How do I handle it?

Bro., you need to give a decisive condition to your wife. Just tell her that there's no compulsion in marriage. If she want return to her ex; She can, if she still interested in your union, she must quit communication and visitation with her ex.

Your inability to make such decisions that attached with the conditions will enhance you to become a victim of circumstances in your home.

greatiyk4u:
You are contradicting yourself and end up compounding your confusion

I'm not contradicting my self, I only pointed the reason for your lamentation.

Will you blame FG for leaving their level 10 upward jobs and travel out. Hence Northerners will fill up the vacuum. Therefore, no one to stand for their young graduates.

greatiyk4u:
This is absolute madness
SEDC that is replicated in other geopolitical zones?

It's very unfortunate that only one Igbo man occupies important ministry as a federal minister

No Igbo man has been MD in NNPC
And other juicy agencies

In many places in south east, you find a whole political ward without a federal government staff yet over 90% of the families have graduates but no connection

Your people claimed that they don't need FG work. They are business men and women. Isn't?

Though, I don't believe in your claim. Simply because there are many factors affecting southern Nigerians for not having senior civil servants in FG ministries.

Once they got the job. Most some of southerners uses the job as leverage to prepare for traveling out of the country. This seriously affecting young graduates that would have rely on them as a link for employment.

It's affecting all young graduates of southern Nigerians.

Lalami3232:

I've come to a conclusion that it's more profitable, honorable and dignified to join hands with me on eradicating paternity fraud by our non-virgins aka boreholes than to discuss/argue about politics. The more you listen to our political leaders, the more you see clearly that they have little or nothing to offer to us. All politicians are the same!!!!!! Forget anything wey person go tell you, dem be same people. They see nothing bad in the suffering of the masses, provided they're cashing out. In 2027, you go see dem again dey buy corn by the road side and some mumu for this platform go dey insult themselves because of people wey no know say dem dey exist.
When I see how some of una dey praise these politicians and una dey attack my crusade of eradicating paternity fraud, I no dey surprise to see why some of una dey bondage. But anyways, I rather believe a non-virgin aka borehole than a politician.
What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news

Oga if you no meet your wife as a virgin, oga go for DNA test oooooooo because non-virgins aka boreholes can't be trusted atall atall

Why you propagating for DNA, please,

iwaeda:
It will be better we don't have police.

If no policing in any state in Nigeria within 24 hours. You'll be very sorry for the consequences of it.

Blazetrailer:
Spot on!!!

Let Asari Dokubo, Wike or Amiri continue to deceive them. Even as S/Westerners, we are waiting for him. Voter apathy will kill him in the SW. Nobody(except his urchins) will go out to vote for him while the North will see it as a battle of survival.

He will be gone in 2027 anyways



[qote author=Floky215 post=133485471]

Which southern unity..?
Every sane person in the south and all over the country is ready to roast tulumbu and his pack of thieves now if given the slightest opportunity...

The bagga is a goner...!!

You shall live to witness Jagaban's victory in 2027. Watch out.

HelipsTech:
Putin should pull out from Ukraine, why this war? After Ukraine withdrew their membership from NATO, what is he fighting for? Are you saying Ukraine should fold their arms and watch Russia do as they pleases in their land?

Ukraine is not a member of NATO, so where the withdrawal of membership you mentioned came from, please.

Ellapthia:
Another achievement for APC.

Helinues, oya come and talk

Yes, it is an achievement because if it's other way round, you will be gladly criticizing the party.

On this, they are trying. Nothing concern me with politics, my life surviving strategies is my political strength

Nwaokunkpara:
Was he a soldier?

That's the uniform of Western Nigeria Security Network (Amotekun) which he champion its establishment.

Kenneth4u205:
it will be a joint invasion by many countries. Intelligence unit are currently gathering Intel's

Why are you disseminating information that has no concrete evidence to substantiate it.

Any country that's fighting in opposition to some Western countries interest will be labeled as terrorists.

The Taliban that were referring to as terrorists years back, now recognized as legitimate political office holders of Afghanistan.

International politics is all about interest, don't be deceived.

May Allah guide our president and other political office holders aright. Amen.

Instead of unsubstantiated allegations against France, Nigeria and Benin Republic, he would have concentrate that effort on formulation of strategies that will defeat those terrorists and defend sovereignty of his country.

Military government talk more with actions rather than medias victims card games of propaganda.

Mugu44:
Ooni should stop being petty.
If a woman rejects you, move on.

Witch hunting her shows that you haven't gotten over her and she is bigger than you.

Allegations you made against Oni which you have no concrete evidence to substantiate it.

This has exposed the strategy of Mr. Peter Obi on using of any unfortunate incident as an avenue to attack government and criticize the president.

He never blame the organizers for lack of arrangement on crowd control before commencing of the sharing of what they intended to give out.

PDPdestroyer:
All the victims of this stampede were Yorubas living in Anambra, no single Igbo victim. Igbos are above queuing for rice, every household in Alaigbo buys rice bags in their numbers

you dey mock them indirectly.

G0Oodharddick:
Sharia law has been approved and set up in osun abi ogun State. Shows northerners owns SW and nothing will happen.

They should go to SS and se and set up Sharia law let's see if the citizens there won't burn it down immediately within 24hrs.

I repeat it's only in SW and the North you'll find something like this. After all, tinubu said Yorubas and hausas are one

Your level of reasoning exposed your lack of knowledge about Islam. You thought Northerners influenced Sharia Court in Oyo State. You're wrong. Islam has been in Yoruba land even before Uthman Dan fodio that led 1804 jihad in the North was born.

So therefore, Southwest Muslims has their own minds and well civilized. They practice Islam with Sunnah of their prophets..

It's not necessary for you to agree with me on Muslims existence in the South East and S/ South. #

G0Oodharddick:
Sharia law has been approved and set up in osun abi ogun State. Shows northerners owns SW and nothing will happen.

They should go to SS and se and set up Sharia law let's see if the citizens there won't burn it down immediately within 24hrs.

I repeat it's only in SW and the North you'll find something like this. After all, tinubu said Yorubas and hausas are one

Your level of reasoning exposed your lack of knowledge about Islam. You thought Northerners influenced Sharia Court in Oyo State. You're wrong. Islam has been in Yoruba land even before Uthman Dan fodio that led 1804 jihad in the North was born.

So therefore, Southwest Muslims has their own minds and well civilized. They practice Islam with Sunnah of their prophets..

It's not necessary for you to agree with me on Muslims existence in the South East and S/ South.

Well deserved.

G0Oodharddick:
Yeah, strictly in SW and North.

Nothing concern Muslims concern other regions.

Even in South South and South East.

This is one of the propaganda of some mumu that thinks from their anus.

Anything can be shared in a party.

For those that accepted it, that's their choice,

Senselessness lase around this article

G0Oodharddick:
This is exactly same as writing " prophet Muhammed S.A.W is a pedophile"

And watch the northerners declare jihad against the entire country.

The earlier Nigeria is separated, the better for us all

Even if Nigeria disintegrated, Muslims will still exist in Southern Nigeria while Christian will still exist in Northern Nigeria.

You understand?

Logically, the young man was a threat in their neighborhood.

Hence, a brilliant opportunity used against him and his friend.

Though, he didn't deserve to be sentence to death because he didn't murder anyone.

Many conspired to influence his disappearance in their community. Thanks God for his life and grace of a second chance.

Frigga13:
Except those people in west are core zom with ddddd brain…. ..
…. Then they can stick with APC and Tinubu… they rest of the country has already moved ahead

Let they Yoruba O yes members keep giving themselves hope

Power to the people

PDP

North must complete its democratic turn.


Yoruba will say.. I’m a southerner .. but will support Tinubu instead of power going north.. who cares

Nigerians want better Nigeria .. without black December on too common rice .. Food .. maybe next year … Nigerians and Nigeria will turn cannibals ..

God forbid Tinubu!!!

May be cannibalism will be experienced in your family by next year December.

Faber:
CAF knows what Nigerians are capable of...

That's why they respected themselves at the last minute and gave the award to the rightful owner

You're very corrected..

Especially, Nigerians influence on social medias can't be matched with any African countries.

On this observation, he's absolutely right.

I reason with his suggestions.

Good of him, some how it happened lately..

Before filling stations make the price effective..

it may be in January.. that's Nigerians for you.

Myrepublic:
Did they vote for him? So why won't he show them pepper 🌶️

Someone once said " I know majority of you didn't vote for me"

Who majority didn't vote for,won..

If you don't understand his statement on 'majority of you didn't vote for me'

It simply means that if combining all votes casted for Atiku, Obi and Kwankwaso together, those votes above the votes that gave him victory over others.

You get it.. Tinubu is the winner of 2023 presidential election. Move on. Please.

That's good from the Air Force..

Terrorists won't have rest until when they allow Nigeria to be peaceful positively.

Good one from FGN

God bless the Jagaban,

God Nigeria.

Accept Islamic religion for your salvation on this earth and hereafter. Allah loves you. Do not delay it, tomorrow may too late.