₦airaland Forum

Mummy,pls stop beating ur child,afterall that child is not as bad as MTN NETWORK!!

Our mothers,please dont allow ur child play around traffic lights. Its a very serious offence in Nigeria called CHILD TRAFFICKING!!

If na now,serpent no 4 fit use comon Apple deceive Eve. D woman 4 just telam,"Broz,if u wan deceive me,use either BLACKBERRY,SAMSUNG GALAXY,ISIEWU,MTN 1500 or SHAWAMA. Anytime wey i wan eat APPLE,i go buy am 4 TRAFFIC LIGHT!!

As jesus turn H20 into wine,boys cum dey find Cigar..One of dem even telam say,"Bros,abeg u fit turn my shoe to BENSON? I no dey fit drink if i no SMOKE!!

Anytime ur mum sees u,she cries 2 ur fada,"Honey why ddnt u use condom??

Ur just cuming out of the bathroom with just towel and no undies at all. Ur litle nephew runs 2 cum and hug u. U dropped ur bucket,raised the litle kid and throw him into the air. When u wanted to hold the baby,ur towel dropz...which would u catch 1st?

Ur woman is at d door,shouting,yelling dat u should cum and open d door 4 her. Ur dog is at the other door,knocking it hard,barking 4u 2cum and open the other door too. Whom would u open 4? I wud advise u open 4 ur dog! Reason is simple- Ur dog will keep quiet after entering the house!!

The 3 RINGS of Marriage are the Engagement RING,the Marriage RING and the suffeRING!!

WOWEN- They kip shouting,"ALL MEN ARE THE SAME!! I wonder who told them to try ALL MEN!!

Interviewer: So whats your name?
Gal: My name is Rose.
Interviewer: What are your other names??
Gal: Yellow cici,fine gal,obimo etc

If the small kid,wizkid no just tek him time,him go go back him village go sale provision....him tink say na naija him dey? Mtcheww..Lokal celeb!

A drunk was taken to the station. The police told him,"Young man,u've been brought here for drinking! The drunk replied,"Then lets get started!!

Sista,mek i tel u...wen ENGAGEMENT RING dey ur finger reach 6years,e don turn KEY HOLDER be dat o!!

Stupid boy-big boy na cash,no be starch!! Stupid gal-where u dey wen Tuface dey give ur mates belle??

U knw say e get d kind car wey u go drive...na u go dey even xplain giv pple say no be Taxi!

Na poverty na im mek d woman turn 2 bird so dat wen fud no dey,she turn 2 bird begin eat pple corn!

If ASHAWO marry ARM ROBBER,dem cum born pikin...d pikin cum be WINCH. Who go dey SLEEP 4 HAUZ??

1year afta Aki's marriage,pawpaw still dey take himself like fruit!

The principal asked the man,"Are u the new English teacher? He answered,"Yes i are!!

Just yesterday i saw an ABOKI wrap his fone wit a kerchief and i was suprise.Trying to find out why he did that,i asked him,"ABOKI,why are you wrapping your fone with a kerchief?? He told me,"I WANT TO HIDE MY NUMBER AND CALL MY FRIEND!!

When we were in primary school,our teachers would tell us we have just 2 types of teeth-MOLARS AND PREMOLARS. Now that we've grown up,we now know we have 4 different types of teeth-MOLARS,PREMOLARS,OPEN TEETH AND BROWN TEETH!!

30 minutes after David was given both the question paper and answer booklet,he was found under his table."What have u been doing under the table 4d past 30 minutes? Shouted his class teacher. David replied,"But madam,the question paper say mek i STUDY THE TABLE BELOW??

David jumps the church's fence and sneaks into the church's auditorium.He looks around and sees nobody and so,he tip toes straight to where the church's wall clock is hanging and carefully unhangs it and tip toes back to make good his escape but he hears a voize by the security,"Hey wait! What do u think ur doing? David said,"Am stealing the church's clock of cuz!! And why are u stealing itif i may ask?? David answered,"OGA,I HEARD THAT GOD'S TIME IS THE BEST!!

CHURCH is life!!

Luking 4a job is a job itself!!

2 litle kids were discussing...the first kid said.,"Junior,do u know i fell from that tree yesterday? Junior was shocked and asked,"Wao!! Did u die??

A gal was returning 4rm church when a man approached him and said,"Helo dearie,i dont want to talk much...wud u please allow me to have s*x with you? No!! The gal replied and added,"My body is the temple of God!! The man then said,"THEN LET ME WORSHIP GOD IN HIS TEMPLE!!

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