₦airaland Forum

How men have fallen!
They want to be treated as princesses, provided for and entitled to women's money.
The above sounds like ridicule but is it?
Reality is a faceless police that ensures we are faced with every consequence that our actions entail.
What do women do with their money?
What should women do with their money?

He who comes for equity should do so with clean hands. Before now the natural order was men providing for women as the lead and head on the basis that they had more opportunities and are more favored to hunt, fight and farm.( Strength and physical attributes considered). Women were mostly tasked with taking care of the home which in turn deprived them of opportunities especially to earn money.

Unarguably the above representation of family order is widely accepted as the norm. Time has changed, women have evolved, feminism has given us a template on how equality is favorable to family, but men and society have refused to evolve. Who is to blame? Ego and lack of reorientation ( I call it menism as the opposite of feminism)
Men need to realize and become aware!
Women have evolved yet men and society are still stuck in the old ways. The sole reason why men were made as a provider was because women were not working..
Ask yourself what do women do with their own money?
Feminism has made it equal for the girl child to have the same opportunities to earn a living yet we are refusing them the responsibility.
A lot of women are working and earning money in modern times yet society thinks men should pay their bills.

One thing everyone should understand is that for every woman working there is a man that is jobless, that means she took his job. until there is a societal change in perspective women will be continually diminished by the subconscious projection that they should be cared for even when they are capable. The term independent women are all crap by the system. How do you explain that a woman earns millions of dollars but is still expected to be taken care of.
What then is she supposed to do with all that money?
The only way to justify this belief is to give all the jobs to Men there by withdrawing opportunities from women so there is no excuse in handling provision.( It wasn't much of an issue in the old times because women were solely dependent).
Menism needs to rise and be a voice for men in chasing equality. Times have changed and provision is tantamount to how much one earns. In a relationship, anyone who earns more should provide more.
Odogwu, Real man, intentional man are all strategic fawns to keep Men's ego in check.

Ever since I got into the new estate at Conan road, it has been one hell of a task getting to work . There is a renovation going on around the estate premises that makes it difficult to move around with my car, especially for those of us living at block 2 ave.
Rewind a bit..
My name is mojisola akachukwu,
Half igbo and Yoruba. I come from a fairly comfortable family and God being merciful I am a first class graduate of biochemistry from the university of Auckland.

Enough with the introduction,
Back to my story.
I work with a big consultation firm just around the corner ( I will withhold the name for security reasons). I had to find a means to get to work since the block 2 Ave was still under renovations. I spoke to the head of security who introduced me to an Uber driver that would pick me up at the gate and drop me off after work.
Everything was going smoothly until around day five I think. My Uber driver failed to show up after work and I already had a soiled mood owing to the shouting session at work with a middle aged customer who was hell bent on getting on my nerves!
This Man was making all sorts of derogatory insinuations and unpleasant flirty remarks about my backside( I have fairly big buttocks). I couldn’t stand being sexualized in such a manner, especially by someone as ugly and uncouth ( pardon my language, I’m just so furious right now).

Mtcheewwww.
Back to my Uber driver who failed to show up, i called and texted him several times but I just couldn’t get to him. At this point I was so frustrated and boiling with anger!
I decided to board a motor bike just across the road. On getting to my estate gate guess what I saw?
My Uber driver and the ugly middle aged Man with the most annoying scent from the office talking and exchanging something that looked like a bag.
What the F*!! ( Pardon my language, I just couldn’t control how I was feeling) I screamed at the top of my voice.

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Exceed15:
They aren't bad boys in quote . They don't just prioritize women like you and then end up way- billed.

So criminals, women beater, violent and cheating men are not bad boys?

Bendeco02:
@ Op Is like you don't understand the point?

Men are the prize

Any man that does not marry choose not to.

Women cannot reject a man for being a player or bad guy in the past or even present. All she want from you is to be financially stable.

Bandits and Arm robbers have wifes, some women cover up for their bad guy partner.

Men and Women are not the same.

I understand perfectly chief!.
I think women intentionally run away from being accountable for their choices. That's the intention of the article

Letmecum:
No woman wants to settle down with a bad boy. They only enjoy sex with drugs life with bad boys. Asked yourself all those notorious cultists how many girls are ready to settle down with them. Bad boys bang better because off the intake of drugs and others substance. But when it comes to settling down woman run after the cool headed guys. Who will want to be a widow

So you are saying women choose bad boys for fun, then good guys for marriage?

Anenehi:
Big fat lie, most men in my hood who did bad boys in their youth are aging with no wives, because they are broke. No women marry you because of bad boy vibe, but they do because you can provide for her offsprings.

The context of the conversation is not finance but morals.
Or are you saying women are not getting married to criminals, women beater and all other vices associated with a bad boy?

According to your rebuttal it seems you are saying having money is a requisite for women to overlook a bad character in men? Is that your argument

Are bad boys experts in finessing or are women terrible with choosing good men?
The above question will most likely get a defensive and sentimental argument with women likely to put the blame on Men , and run away from accountability.
Men on the other hand argue that treating a woman nice gets you used instead of loved.

How do you convince a Man otherwise when there is a practical record of bad boys having the best women?
In line with what a bad boy truly means, this article is focused on Men that are considered violent, lack morals, deadbeat and above all opposite of what a nice guy should be.

One of the problems with this particular discussion is the presumption that generalization is bad. " Some men and some women"
This is an intentional tactic to deflate from reality.
Obviously there is room for exception and a fraction of women do not fall into the category of terrible choosers, the same way some Men are exempted in the bad boy realm.
But how do you shuffle the pack and seive the " some"?

Exceptions don't negate the fact and it's important to note that the majority in any situation is a reflection of the general population.

How difficult is it to say no to a Man that hits you?
Why do cheating men have tons of women chasing them?
Why do criminals have women in love with them?

The above should tell you why women are bad choosers! Some would argue that the signs are not always there, okay! Let's give a benefit of doubt.
Why does it happen repeatedly?
A mistake repeated more than once is a decision. Are you still arguing?

A lot of nerds, church boys and decent chaps are trapped under the recurrent boring tag as against the bad boys. In the long run the nice boys are forced to amend their ways in order to fit into the infamous requirements to get a woman " toxicity".

You can lie to everyone but the consequences of your actions are strapped alongside you!.
What women say they want is totally opposite from what they react to.
In a business setting, if a consumer refuses a particular product, the buyer is forced to look elsewhere for a new customer or adjust to fit into the consumer's preferences before a deal can happen.

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It's probably cruel to judge your friends and family, because they do not align with your thoughts and ideas. They probably care about you a lot and will be the first to accept your mediocrity in the long run , so why cut them off when they feed your morals with care and affection.

What kind of person would choose strangers over his loved ones?
He must be a very selfish person a voice from the crowd echoed!
Now you are faced with confronting the harsh truth" it's most likely that your loved ones do not have values that align with your goals"

How sad!
Reality steps in and objects!
There is no room for emotional weakness and sentiments.
Your goals are your worth,
Your future determines your success,
What you become determines who stays,
They will understand when the result trickles in.

It's beautiful to be independent and confident in your decision making, as it puts you in a position of absolute power. But nothing beats the association of people with the same goals, vision, ideologies and passion.
The greatest life hack to achieve a goal in my opinion is " the association of like minded people".
There are more resources,
Better ideas,
Motivation when you are lagging behind,
Help mates when it gets tough,
Healthy competition and pressure to make things work.
Foster's better relationship.

The kind of people around you, determine what your mind consumes.
For example,
If you tell a friend about a goal you are working on, most times they will probably laugh it off ( it subconsciously weakens you), but a like minded person motivates and reassures you about the said target.

You have to find the courage to cut off the possible distractions even if they are your closest ally. Feed your mind with the right information and allow yourself a serene environment to thrive.
The best part of this is that a lot of people resonate with your ideologies. Network and find them!

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AllBlack:
Number one experts on this kind of crap is the group of people called New generation Christians with their slogan IT IS NOT MY PORTION like the person who has been met with some horrendous misfortune just happened to be predestined for such PORTION.
Another favourite cloak of theirs is DESTINY.
The way they mention it like everything has been revealed to them.

Look at all the carnage in Benue and Jos. Look at all the tanker explosions, kidnappings and even our collective agony under a long set of bad governments; Whose portion or destiny is it?

Rule number 1, never think it can't happen to you

danvon:
Good write up.

I think another side of this 'it can never be me' is also religion, specifically Christianity.

Christianity transformed all accidents and unfortunate events of life into (A) Revenge of God (Karma) or (B) A trial by God.

This completely robs all unfortunate events of its innocence.

I agree 💯. Religion can sometimes be extreme with their beliefs.
It can never be me in a religion setting, makes it feel like other people don't have access to God! And they all have issues because of that.

So in the context of " it can never be me" religious people assume that by virtue of proclamation they are exempted

This is probably the default reaction to a bad incident. The average person believes in the reject system as a coping mechanism amidst a terrible situation.
For example
Bad marriage ( it can never be me)
Losing wealth ( it can never be me)
Domestic violence ( it can never be me)
Plane crash ( it can never be me)

Surprisingly it keeps happening over and over again, this time to a different person who at a point might have said " it can never be me".
We are by default attracted to a good life, I doubt anyone would want to put themselves in a terrible situation out of boredom or some flimsy excuses.
So it's amusing that something beyond human control is treated with such levity.

Faith , words of affirmation and declarations are beautiful, as it is a motivation to achieve. A positive mindset that keeps the mind focused and determined. But is it enough to avert an accident?
Why do you think it could never be you in that bad relationship, accident, fire outbreak, disaster and several terrible situations?
Maybe some situations can be managed with better decision making,
Maybe it's a situation of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Life is unpredictable.

In my opinion uncertainty is a fact in life and it cannot be managed. Everything is flexible except death.
There are situations that can be averted with better preparation and luck ( luck is a strong factor), but a lot of things are beyond human control.
You cannot be careful enough!
It's okay to be positive ( luck and hope should be your mantra)
I hope it doesn't happen to me, (it is a far better reaction )than outrightly believing it cannot happen to you because you assume,
your lifestyle is safe
Your security is tight
Your investment is enough
Your experience would help you navigate.

A plane crash spares no one.
Life is indeed unpredictable and luck will forever be a factor.
Exceptions like they say don't negate the rule!

Samantha125:
I like minding my business and I always tell people to let me know in case I unintentionally offended them so I can apologize, because one thing about me, I like joking around and those who don't understand my personality might easily get offended sometimes, especially my gender... We tend to get offended by minor things that could easily be resolved and it can be annoying sometimes.

I remember this one time a female security guard from my residence back in varsity reported me to the residence manager for allegedly insulting her when she was the one who misunderstood me... In the beginning, she didn't even seem offended with what I said, she just kept quiet and reported me to the manager... She's Venda by tribe and even though she's fluent in Sepedi, the one she spoke is from a different dialect from mine, because mine is deep... I was surprised to receive a call from the residence manager summoning me... And luckily for me, the residence manager knew me and even though she was a Tswana by tribe, she was already familiar with how I spoke my Sepedi... I had to explain to the security guard that what I said wasn't an insult, but it's how we normally speak in my Sepedi dialect and had she asked me to clarify what I said to her, I'd have gladly did... But this lady kept giving me attitude until I apologized for peace's sake even though I didn't do anything wrong.

It's beautiful that you hold yourself accountable.
That's a good trait.
In a friendship, relationship or whatever, be concerned with giving and not receiving, that's how to be fulfilled.

Samantha125:
I only have one ex and we parted ways peacefully... I don't think he'd consider me as wicked.

You will be surprised at what people say behind you.
Always speak for yourself. Don't assume that you know what anyone thinks about you.
It's not necessarily about your ex, it could be a friend or even family that you assume is a problem when in retrospect you are the problem

Samantha125:
Well, as for me, I don't have a wicked ex...😊😊😊

Maybe to someone else, you are the wicked ex.

Everyday is a struggle for survival, everyone is hustling for a space on the table. In a ploy to get ahead we are willing to destroy whatever obstacle is on the way without minding whose ox is gored.
Human to human relationships is one of the most difficult because everyone acts from their perspective and personal beliefs ( most times it's against others)

Everyone thinks they're not the problem,
They probably deserve a good friend. We are quick to point a finger at a supposed bad ship without looking inwards.
What if you ain't shit?
What if you are a bad person?
What would you do if you are in a similar position to what you judge? Would you handle it differently

Everyone has a wicked ex, a back biting friend, a stingy and proud friend, a bad advisor, a sad friend, a trouble making friend, a cheating friend.
I can go on and on and on!
If everyone is pointing fingers, who then is guilty?

Hypocrisy is such a bad card!
When we are faced with the difficult situation, there is a consensus agreement that kind people are rare,
good women are scarce,
good husbands are scarce,
So if there are limited good people with moral values and virtues, why is no one admitting to fucking up a good thing?

I killed to earn a living ( survival instinct)
I snitch to get a favor ( they will probably do the same to me)
I slept with his boyfriend ( someone else did with mine)
I broke her heart ( that's the only way to heal)
We always have reasons to justify our acts and decisions.

The blame game is sickening and it's probably due to lack of accountability on our part.
If you take out time to think , you will definitely see your flaws. Why is it difficult to accept especially in public?
Identify your strengths and weaknesses
Seek people's honest opinion about you.
It's okay to ask someone what they honestly think about you?

Change is constant and accountability is key.
Maybe you need to stop pointing fingers,
What if you are really a bad person?

A lot of people are watching!
If you have a super power to see the abstract, you will be surprised at the amount of people watching you secretly.
Maybe they want you to fail or they are just curious. Some are waiting to see the end result, while only a tiny fraction genuinely want to see you win.

Everyday you show up , someone sees you
When you fail to show up, another person is seen.
If you continually refuse to show up, more people are seen and you go down the radar.
What does it tell you?
Everyone that comes across you is watching
Not everyone would drop a comment,
Not everyone would leave a like or a positive review about your life and business in general.
It could be the ego or the innate nature of humans to associate with success.
Whatever it is, know that a shadow of eyes are noticing.

Your enemies want to see you fail and they are constantly watching every thing you do.
Their facial expressions are mean, their body language is unreceptive, they eagerly want you to fail, but they have one weakness which is CURIOSITY.
That's the face of a hater, the mind of a fan!
A fan is the first to check your page,
Buy your book,
Read news about you.
A fan literally follows everything you!

That's your cue!
Channel your mind to see the positive and take advantage of it.
How do I leverage on this free followership and visibility?
How do I put up a good show for the ghost watchman?
The mind of a fan is forever curious to know what's next about his favorite celebrity.. Fans don't know when to stop, they are extremists and loyalist in the same accord.

The hater is not going to stop until you fail, so there's no lack of motivation.
They are a constant reminder of why you need to get that deal, pass that exams and make that money!
Don't be that celebrity who lost a loyal fan because he couldn't sell his talent beyond the surface level.

Hey Man there's a party just across the street, bad ass girls, weed, raunchy games and mad fun! Let's go chill and unwind.
If your answer is "NO", they try to shame you with a boring tag and gaslight you into thinking you're about to miss out on the best there is.

Let's go to the club
Let's go light some weed
Let's go Bleep some good pussy

Notice the pattern?
It's never about your benefits and self improvement.
They all go mute when it's time to put you up for business.
If you put a call through" about needing a business or money" then their tone changes.
" I'm not sure you can do this" " the business ain't all that profitable" " networking is just a mirage" ( the excuses are so loud)
If you think I could have fun with you, why not put me on how to break bread with you?

Society is normalizing recklessness as a personality trait, until you run into a deep mess and then you are another casualty ( expendable).
Boring is not a person, rather a mood!.
The same guy who refuses to club today can become a party animal on his birthday or another event. It's all about how you are feeling, and your priority at a particular time.

Refuse the boring tag as an assessment of your value as a person. Reputation is such an asset in the world today, and it could be your only leverage when there's a room full of opportunities without you in it.
Guard your time and accessibility. Be intentional with your values and standards.
Don't let society decide what is fun for you, unless you become a pawn in the system.

The question always ends the same way.
Did anyone force you?
You already know the answer to that.

Ego clouds rationality!
In a woman and Man relationship dynamic, the ability to read signs, body language, words, actions will determine how successful you get.
Logic is your best bet as a Man, because it helps you make decisions that are beneficial to your well being ( emphasis on beneficial).

The average Man thinks power is loud, they want to prove and conquer, instead of receiving in abundance. They want to brag about scoring a good goal when the most important rule of a game is to score a goal.
Paying attention to the body language of a woman will tell you if she wants to be with you out of her own will or not.
Her words and actions are a reflection of her thoughts, as so should be your source of accountability.

Most guys know when a woman doesn't want them, but they think they have the ability to change, convince or subdue her against her initial will.
The money game starts ( maybe I should give her more money)
Attention spamming ( maybe I should call her more)
Overlooking her excesses ( condoning disrespect and lack of accountability)
All of which takes off your only valuable currency.
The only power that a Man has over a woman without mincing words is YOUR ABILITY TO WALK AWAY.

What beats my imagination is that a Man knows when a woman likes him, he has probably fumbled one before.
It's the easiest thing to know!
So why will you subject yourself to ridicule because of your Ego.
Have you no respect for yourself?
A woman would boldly tell you she has men kneeling and begging her just to take his call ( there is no lie in this whatsoever, the average man is shamefully obsessed with sex even if it costs him losing respect).

It's okay if she says NO( walk away)
If she doesn't reply to your text ( walk away)
If she doesn't take or return your calls ( walk away)
The real power is your ability to walk away.
The only exception to this rule is giving her the benefit of doubt by addressing the issue just once.( Express your displeasure)
If she doesn't change, then it's your cue to move on!

Women are arguably the sweetest when they like and care for you, in the same vein they are ruthless when they do not want you.
A woman who is interested in you will make it obvious, very obvious. They may not necessarily approach you but they will give you signs that even if you were a novice you will know they are interested.
Genuine desire cannot be negotiated!
If she's not interested let her be.

Don't forget your ability to walk away is your ultimate currency!

To have a beautiful life is to have money.
It might come off as a very shabby and materialistic mindset, but in the end everything revolves around getting money.

The problem with money is that the demand is greater than supply which makes it difficult to access. In the midst of chasing it we are exposed to other means of getting by, at a point it becomes a clash between what is right and what is needed.

How do you navigate such a tricky situation?
It sounds like an easy decision until you are faced with a real life situation where you have to make a choice.
Mind you in the context of provision both decisions are good because they lead you to a different path.

A practical example of the above is,
If your daughter needs urgent medical care ( life and death situation) and you don't have enough money to cater for her medical bills, but you have the key to a safe where you work and then you break in at night.
You decide to take a few dollars out without the company knowing and someone else takes a fall for that sole decision but your daughter is hale and hearty.
A part of you is proud of saving your daughter, while the other side judges you for ruining another person's life.

This is the first time you have ever been in such a dilemma.
You are fighting the thought of confessing because your daughter needs a present father and you can't afford to be locked up.
Who will care for her?
But then an innocent person is in prison for your sins!
If you hesitated and listened to your morals, would you be able to sleep at night knowing that your daughter would be alive if you took a different decision.
Now you have to live with the guilt.


Whenever you put your morals to the test against money, you are subconsciously losing your ability to put humanity first.
What you do when no one is watching is a true test of your character especially when it's a decision that goes against what you stand for.

Mind you most people will also make the same decision as you. If an opinion poll is put up , the majority will support your decision albeit anonymously, which is a validation the brain needs to accept your choice as right.
What will your morals say?
I guess it will understand that you needed to save a life and that is the right decision even if it's against your core values or in this case societal values since you already went against it.

One of problems associated with a bad friendship, heartbreak or betrayal is the act of getting defensive and sensitive, there by Losing the naivety that makes you open minded.

We start to care about not being treated the same way, even when it's glaring that the situation is different and it's a new person.
Every move is questioned.
What is the motive behind the compliment?
Am I doing too much?
Maybe I should wait for the first message?
The above keeps ringing inside your head.

The crazy thing is a part of you justifies this supposed metal awareness, you validate every curiosity with " protecting your heart".
And then it becomes obvious in the long run that the other party too feels this way.
Who breaks the ice?
When two people have the same conditioning, who is willing to be the bigger person?

The genuine dove-like attitude becomes lost in the game, it becomes stressful to bond.
Your mind tricks you to find an escape route even before getting locked up.
Quick sex and money becomes the bargaining chip!
It's absurd that when a relationship ends, the first consolation is what was obtained in the transaction ( mostly sex and money).

There's the lack of accountability.
Zero positives!
Then the blame game starts,
A part of you says " I knew it would end abruptly, that's why I didn't give it my best shot".
At least we had sex and I got money, so I'm not on the losing side.

Why do we equate sex and money to a win?
Maybe if you were more honest and intentional it would turn out differently.
It's all about mentality shift, going into a relationship with the mindset of sharing and impacting, not the expectation of what is in it for you.
Genuine desire cannot be negotiated.
Our consolation should come from a place where I did my best but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

But can we really blame someone who refuses to start and participate in a game , instead of playing with uncertainty.
Just maybe the first call would actually rob you of your powers to walk away when it gets tough.
Just maybe the first call opens you to a vulnerability that would cost your peace and sanity.
Emphasis on " maybe".
Assumption is never clarity and it's a two edged sword.
What if it goes your way and what if it doesn't?

I guess we will never know!
Make the first call today and learn to pour in, if ever your values are threatened in any way then you can leave with your shoulder up and blurt out" I gave it my best shot".

At what point does expectation transgress into entitlement?
Morally a good deed is expected to be reciprocated though obligatory, which leaves us in a quandary with regards to what constitutes entitlement .

The same group of people that assume a person is entitled for trying to leverage on friendship, family or past deeds is quick to cry foul when he/she is in a position where expectancy is neglected.
Maybe entitlement should be categorized into types.( Thinking out loud)

It's only logical for someone to expect that a past favor be returned in future even if the expectation can't be quantified. I think where the problem lies is when a person puts a tag on what is deserving of them.
For instance if John shares a loaf of bread with peter , he expects Peter to give him at least two loaves if he has 6 loaves.

John's argument to this expectation is that he shared his only loaf with Peter and should therefore be deserving of at least two due to the abundance of bread at Peter's disposal.
Would john have given Peter two loaves if he had six? ( I guess we would never know)

Is John greedy?
It's a two way thing in my opinion, because intent and sacrifice when considered places John's benevolence towards Peter as more of a needing act of kindness.
It's quite arguable but logical.

If Peter refuses to give John two loaves, does it make him a bad person?
Is John right to feel offended?

Entitlement in its true form lacks the needed flexibility to be an outright wrongdoing because morals and emotions will always be considered.

Another scenario, if Abel gives tips on how to run a business, he expects a certain kind of compensation when profit arises. Morally it is excusable, but could be referred as an act of emotional guilt tripping to the business owner. How contradictory! Which begets the question.

IS ENTITLEMENT PREFERENTIAL TOWARDS MORALS AND SENTIMENTAL TO OBLIGATION?

A conundrum ensues when dealing with family, spouse, kids as they seem to represent a merge between obligation and morals, which eliminates the bias of sitting on the fence.

However it is represented, there is an imbalance in what justifies entitlement as per human relationship.
Negotiating entitlement is probably the only way to navigate through.

We all have the dream of getting married to a rich partner ( especially women), the life of luxury, vacation in different countries, the best of clothes, food and most importantly providing our kids a comfortable life.

But there seems to be a barricade that just wouldn't get out of the way. "Reality"!!

Reality says NO! And it sucked.
It's like a huge blow to the face.
There is just not enough wealth to go round and then it boils down to factors that are mostly not in our control. ( Luck, information, connections and time)

The biggest problem with the above is the " belief of exception"..
Every single person assumes they are part of the lucky ones, that inherit the wealth roaming aimlessly, so it leads to a tussle between reality and delusion.
Just maybe I'm the exception everyone thinks. Could it be you?

Relationships tend to suffer the most because there is an essential need for provision( a must in most cases), which leads to a high level of classism in society.
The broke wants to latch onto the few wealthy percentage of people available for marriage.

Then the silent battle of classism begins,
The broke discriminate against the broke
The rich avoid the poor
The poor believe there is a rich miracle waiting for them.
Time sits and wonders why both parties can't see it sitting silently.
It ticks away in disappointment!
Who will break the first sweat?

The rich get the cue and form a bond amongst themselves and the few lucky poor ones who hook a tiny fraction of the rich. And then reality hits!
The broke is left with the broke... Time tries to be considerate but instead takes the blame for not speaking up.

Now there is resentment and chaos going on in the broke people's world.
Some who are desperate try to get the left overs from the rich even if it's against their beliefs and standards ( second wives).

Time cries bitterly again.
If only the broke merged with the broke, maybe they would have been out of this shit hole now.
Reality whispers " this is your new home, till death calls".

Time asks sarcastically " who will marry other broke people".?
It may be you, or maybe I, or maybe someone by your side.

The fluidity in men’s libido makes sex a constant insatiability, as there seems to be a peculiar horniness to masculinity. Arguably, it would not be out of place to declare the average man sex starved.

The sexual market is tilted in favor of women having the option for preferences( looks, status and wealth) in Men. Feminine power has grown with impeccable entitlements, room for sieving, above all a source of income.

I totally disagree with the unfounded notion that sees women as cheap with regards to the sexual market. An average looking girl need not show more than a little cleavage, she gets swarmed with all sorts of horniness induced compliments and attention.

On the cheap talk you have the answer!!

A Man's constant craving for sex subconsciously stimulates an inconsequential need to brag after a romp, as it signifies a win in the sexual market.
A Man with numerous sexual partners is considered a god amongst his peers not minding the occasional flake from women who Shames promiscuity.

There have been constant banters referring to men as sexual braggarts (kiss and tell), which seems quite laughable. Sexual braggado by men is a subtle way to keep the fluidity of libido in check. ( Fluidity of libido in the context of this conversation simply means that the average Man has no control over his sexual arousal and needs due to the high level of testosterone).


In the men's world a sexually starved man is considered weak and laughed at, little wonder men pay outrageous fees and acts to get laid.

As weird as it sounds, Man's braggado to getting laid signifies an upturn in value especially when the sex is free.

Humans are naturally information oriented, especially when a supposed higher authority calls the shot. The average human subconsciously reacts to a pathway, and applies whatever principles based on facts and conviction garnered.

A child is blank from birth which makes it easy to assimilate every information without necessarily having a choice to decline or accept. For every information received it is considered right until superior information is passed across which either contradicts, broadens or outrightly dismisses the previous information shared. Ever wondered why cultism still thrives despite several anti cultism teachings? It is called RE-ORIENTATION.

Re-orientation has its uniqueness because of the recurrent evolving cycle. It simply entails that for every orientation there is a counter re-orientation on the subject as long as it is portrayed to be superior to the aforementioned.

For instance a person that is oriented to believe night life is bad, becomes stuck in that ideology until a superior information on how he misses out on clubbing, random sex and what have you. Subsequently the mind assimilates a new reason to believe night life is not as bad as portrayed. It is automatically re-oriented. The same person could still be swayed by a newer information maybe on how instead of partying and clubbing, he or she could get a decent night paying job for extra income. The trick remains as long as the new information is processed as beneficial, re-orientation takes place.

Applying it to society, from prostitution to kidnapping, cultism, fraud, gambling, masturbation and whatever social ills. What is needed is a counter orientation laced with facts and pre-perceived benefits to change a narrative. Emphasis on PRE-PERCEIVED benefits. For re-orientation to take place, the newer information must be considered superior to the former.

The biggest template for human importance in the modern world today is money!
Money is power, Money is love, Money is respect, Money is status. But beyond money, is there any other value that endears a person to a level of utmost importance to others?

It feels like the modern relationship is fickle and superficial, as there seems to be no willingness to build, fight and nurture. The average person is willing to throw away everything at the slightest provocation. Integrity, reliability and loyalty is a mental mirage!

Everyone is replaceable, but no one is the same. Which means we are all a unique being that is associated with different characteristics as a person.
If the above sentiment is upheld, it only means no other person can offer a particular value verbatim. Why then is it easy to move on from a supposed uniqueness and diversity?

Kindness in my opinion is probably the most powerful value any one should possess. Peace, honesty, loyalty, integrity and modesty are attributes I hold in high esteem. Are they enough to keep a relationship/ friendship?
Is anyone willing to chase a value of such especially when it's placed in the opposite tandem with money?

Putting it into an individual delusion, why would anyone be afraid of losing you?
It's your thoughts and it's okay to sell an imaginary idea to yourself and see if it's enough for you to be cherished.
Are you watering others?
Are you a positive champ?
What energy are you associated with?
Are you a peaceful and kind being?
Are you love?

Money is the cheapest form of love, because you don't necessarily have to be a good person and yet you still get loyalty, love and respect in the most conditional form. You are perceived as a provisional status holder, and your importance is based on this piece of paper you seem to have in abundance, until or if you lose it.

It's time to reflect and ponder on your values and attributes that are worthy of human sacrifices and importance.

Money is arguably the number one requirement for a successful transition into adulthood( health aside).
In the chase for money a single person is way different from a married person, as there is a transition into how money is ought to be spent.

The phase of accountability, prudence, intentionality and conviction are the deciding factors that rule how money is spent.
The key word in this article is marriage!.
As simple as it sounds, marriage is the quickest way to lose money in the long run as there is little or no room for failure.
Any slip is detrimental to sustainable wealth.
The process of putting your interest below to accommodate other expenses is known as married money.
While single money is the act of putting yourself first in every monetary consideration.

A single person's 5000 is equivalent to a married person's 20000. A lot of people who are faith inclined refuse to acknowledge the huge difference between the two. Faith is a moral recital and it helps a person into taking unrealistic risk which sometimes yield results and most times fail. But reality is not a religion and the chances of such risk yielding fruit is close to zero!

A single person can lose money and yet have time to recoup his/her loses. A single person is allowed to fail. A single person is allowed to be reckless and direction less with money and still enjoy the grace of single money but the expectation and experience is different on the other side of the coin.
Married money is not lenient
Married money is frugal
Married money is impatient
Married money is scared to be lost
Married money is under pressure
Married money cannot give excuses for failure.

Money is a necessity in life.. but the moment it becomes married, it creates a new path that will end in tears or pleasure.
Before any cent is used , always remember the two types of money and act accordingly.

[quote author=0neal post=135567524]The goto phrase for people who are either ignorant or not in touch with reality, stuckup in their LaLaLand - "Societal Standards"

To be honest for the average man, from 45years & above if you are not married it will become kind of shameful.

Its biology, not societal standards...anytime i see my colleagues post their kid(s) pix on their status, i know how i feel.

I am a man in my early 30s

Assuming all things goes well, the benefits of marrying early trumps late marriage.

As a man you, if you work on yourself, stay in shape, financially stable, and most espercially God bless you with good looks, at 50 he can still marry a lady half his age.

But these are exceptional men not the normies or the regular joe who are majority.

So a man should use his 20s in developing himself, learning intergender dynamics, stay fit, form connections with other men and build his career or craft.


This is the problem, (societal standards).
You just justified the above by stating what a man is supposed to attain at a certain time frame. So what happens to the few that couldn't meet up due to ( sickness, poverty or lack of education). There is no room for flexibility and it puts pressure on them. Yes a Man is supposed to this, a woman is supposed to this at a certain age, but should they all the thrown away because they couldn't meet up?
The same society standard frown against adoption which in the right sense is an option for women

gtassure:
You are giving bad advice to "40" year old man! Biologically he will have issues with offspring, half old age start at 50! Do you suppose motal humans will live forever?

Would you prefer I told him to commit suicide or grab the next available female and forcefully engage her?
Life is fickle and every decision leads us to a new path. One day maybe we will find a way to enjoy life without societal pressure.
Lastly i find it amusing that adoption is not considered as an option in this part of the world

Nackzy:
I am due for marriage, I am 40 yet not married because there no money, my body needs it

Are you due for marriage because you are 40 Or because you genuinely want a companion and life around you?
Sometimes we allow societal standards determine our course of action. Don't be pressured into anything.
Your priority now should be getting a stable source of income and then you can find a partner to build with ( there is someone out there for you).
Afterwards you can get married and still enjoy your life.

When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery.

The " Go and marry" tag falls in line with the disguised mockery often packaged as a genuine concern.
Age, finance and status are mostly the determinant of these fallacious shows of sportsmanship as it is always a subtle way to remind you of your decline.
Rarely does happiness, companionship or even peace of mind be considered as a criteria for the supposed " Go and marry" advice.

Isn't it surprising that if there is a refusal on your part to cling onto the marriage ship, they throw in a subtle jibe and undertone caricature, reminding you of your anticipated decline and risk of losing out in life.
Every other achievement is discarded and you are faced with multiple reasons why you are on your way to doom.

Then the game starts,
Pressure from onlookers
Constant reminder of your lack of purpose (marriage wise)
Subtle jibe and derogatory insinuations
Age shaming and broke shaming.

It's like there is a calculated arrangement to undermine every good thing in your life outside of marriage.
Soon it gets to a stage where the pendulum swings and they become loud, aggressive, judgmental, mean, disrespectful and what have you! Just to sway and hasten your decision.

The question is why do you get offended at my refusal to heed your supposed advice?
Why am I getting mocked all of a sudden?
Why are my achievements secondary to your concerns?
Why do I need to prove my intent of life with marriage?

Think about it slowly!

We are all a product of life and it is expected through procreation to give life too. I understand that sometimes you need a slight push to make future decisions especially when it concerns others.
What I don't understand is why there is pressure to act quickly, a timer to determine my right to what fulfillment entails.
Maybe I'm overthinking, just maybe?

" Go and marry" is far from what it looks like, it has become a source of pain, caricature and a reminder of a looming failure.
The pressure takes a toll on people.
The sigh of relief that comes after marriage is mostly from a place of freedom against the society, instead of a genuine path to a beautiful next chapter.