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Memeguy's Posts

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TravelRe: Another Accident On 3rd Mainland Bridge Due To Construction Work by memeguy: 2:46pm On Jan 20, 2017
mmsen:
The bridge is fine, it's the driving habits that need to be altered/checked.
Oga don't say what you don't know. Have you driven on the bridge recently? The bridge is not fine. So much construction work going on, gravel and sand everywhere with potholes etc. Worst part is that there is no lighting on the bridge. The construction companies even leave their vehicles there unattended with no caution signs etc. It's very bad.
Jobs/VacanciesRe: Access Bank Calling For Aptitude Test (entry-level) (2014) by memeguy: 6:02pm On Aug 13, 2016
Ardayboi:
A batch graduated from the training school today, can anyone confirm this ? I heard as a sort of hearsay wink
No dey form smart. Just say you want to know when the next batch will resume. Nna na November things.
EducationRe: Nigerian Students Abroad Are On Their Own - Buhari by memeguy: 6:33pm On Mar 07, 2016
Parents of Nigerian students abroad should use transferwise (https://transferwise.com/u/9969dc) to transfer at official rates directly to children's account anywhere in the world.
TravelRe: Car Accident On 3rd Mainland Bridge by memeguy: 10:13pm On Feb 28, 2016
I don't understand where that crowd came from. Do people live on that bridge?
CelebritiesRe: You Won't Believe This Is Olajumoke On The Runway (Photo) by memeguy: 10:43pm On Feb 20, 2016
Lol. Funny how people will say negative things about this lady, and end with "God continue to bless her though". Like that makes it alright.

Jobs/VacanciesRe: Apply For 2015/2016 Shell Petroleum Graduate Programme by memeguy: 11:21pm On Feb 16, 2016
Ashmark:
Why is everybody always saying ""A friend of mine"
Why is that relevant?

At least people are contributing to the thread and updating us.

Do you really need to know the identity of the people called? Maybe they should they tell you their names and addresses while they're at it ?¿
PropertiesRe: Elegushi Kingdom Proposes $300m Imperial City by memeguy:
Lots of questions.

How will the project be funded?

By the Royal family or by Investors?

If by the Royal family, what is their source of income?

If by Investors, we must again ask, how exactly did the royal family secure approval for a project which involves dredging and filling of hectares of land on the Atlantic ocean?

Upon completion of the project, apart from possible taxes, will any revenue accrue to the federal, state or local governments? Or will all the income go to the royal family?

I'm not against capitalism, and honestly I would appreciate it if I could get an unbiased answer to all or most of these questions.


On a side note:

Previously the goal was to have a house at Ikoyi, then it became Victoria Island.Then Atlantic City, and now this.

The economic divide in Lagos is gradually widening, and soon it will be impossible for people from the lowest rungs of the social ladder to move up.
Jobs/VacanciesRe: Access Bank Calling For Aptitude Test (entry-level) (2014) by memeguy: 11:29pm On Feb 04, 2016
Does anyone know when the next batch of training school starts?
TravelRe: Nigerian Students In The Uk How Do You Survive? by memeguy: 12:42am On Feb 04, 2016
creamyworkz:
Thanks alot, i really appreciate that. I'm actually heading to aberdeen. I think i'll go with Emirates. i just needed to know for sure its better than Etihad.
You're welcome.

You may want to consider stopover times for both airlines.
TravelRe: Nigerian Students In The Uk How Do You Survive? by memeguy: 11:05pm On Feb 03, 2016
creamyworkz:
To the gurus in the house, kindly help with this: what are the pros and cons of flying emirate airline over etihad and vice versa. Its urgent pls
Having flown both airlines, I am in a good position to answer this.

Etihad airfares are slightly cheaper for the same routes, but not as comfortable, with Emirates airlines boasting a more widely-varied selection of food, and in-flight entertainment than Etihad airways.

Hedonistically, the hostesses on Emirates flights are arguably more attractive, if you're into that sort of thing. (Not that you stand a chance, anyway).

Ultimately, they are both very highly-rated airlines, with one (Emirates) just being slightly better than the other (Etihad).

I think your question is lacking in that you forgot to mention your routes, in which case we would have to consider potential stopover locations and times.
TravelRe: Nigerian Students In The Uk How Do You Survive? by memeguy: 2:01pm On Jan 29, 2016
GeneralShepherd:
The reality is that UK citizens are struggling to secure jobs and I don't blame them for asking the government to tighten immigration laws
Guy, you don finally go Australia?
CultureRe: Ooni Ogunwusi Customizes His Rolls Royce Ahead Of Coronation (pic) by memeguy: 6:16pm On Dec 04, 2015
If I hear say Queen Elizabeth attend!
CultureRe: How To Become A Nigerian In 15 Easy Steps By Mayo Bayo by memeguy: 7:55pm On Oct 11, 2015
"Do you know who I am?"
grin I used this a lot when I was in Nigeria. Funny thing is that it always works. I remember a time when I was travelling from Benue to Abuja. That's how Mr. Driver started talking to me anyhow telling me to move from front seat to the back because of fine girl. Na so I change am o. See shout. "Do you know who I am? Do you know who my father is? Do you want to sleep in cell this night"
Na so driver begin shake o, "Ehen who are you, wetin I talk now? Na so them go dey take everything serious. Person no fit talk again ".
I felt like bursting out in laughter. I couldn't believe the gullibility. grin
Jobs/VacanciesRe: Jobs In Nigeria by memeguy(op): 10:32pm On Sep 21, 2015
Business Development Manager – Education Partner
Microsoft - Nigeria
Posted 13 days ago
Apply on company website https://careers.microsoft.com/resumepreview.aspx?aid=199110&utm_source=linkedin
Other Details
About this job
Job description
Purpose

Education is transforming globally and holistically. The opportunity to transform education has never been greater and the urgency to support the industry to drive change never more clear. The company that wins long-term will be the company that is able to provide real value to the needs of schools and align offerings to this learning transformation. Winning in education is a company priority - a core company mandate. At Microsoft we’ve always believed in the power of education to change the world and our mission has always been to help students and teachers everywhere realize this potential. This role plays a critical part in that mission.

Key Responsibilities

• Drive attainment of local revenue based incentive (RBI) objectives
• Grow Market Share and drive attainment of local share based incentive (SBI) objectives.
• Deliver business discipline and results
• Continuous improvement of industry knowledge, industry scenarios and creative ideas

Experiences Required: Key Experiences, Skills and Knowledge

5-8 years of related experience

Education:

Required - Bachelors Degree
Preferred - MBA/Master’s Degree

Key Experiences, Skills and Knowledge:

• Extensive experience in business development, partner management or account management positions
• Passion for Education and ICT: Likes to win and is passionate about making a strong contribution to future generations.
• Strategic focus and analytical skills enabling comprehension of complex technical, business, and legal issues leading to the formation and execution of successful end to end partner strategies
• Exceptional communication, presentation and interpersonal skills with a proven track record in relationship building cross-group relationships
• Solid understanding of partner programs and partner ecosystems to ensure leverage, optimization and collaboration with existing resources
• A proven sales and sales management track record that includes extensive direct contact with customers and partners and an ability to develop and implement successful sales plans
• Ability to win in a highly competitive environment - proven ability to successfully address competitive threats, navigate complex customer environments and make the appropriate judgment calls to succeed
• Executive maturity and presence to appropriately represent Microsoft to senior IT and Business executives at our customers and partners. This includes the ability to understand key industry drivers, issues and solutions, distribution channels, partners and analyst insights
Jobs/VacanciesRe: Jobs In Nigeria by memeguy(op): 10:30pm On Sep 21, 2015
Business Analyst Intern
Intel - Nigeria-Nigeria, Lagos
Posted 19 hours ago
Apply on company website https://intel.taleo.net/careersection/10000/jobdetail.ftl?job=774265&src=UNV-11802
Other Details
About this job
Job description


We are looking for the change agent in you. Intel is all about world-changing innovation. You will be part of an extremely talented, high-performing team that implements exciting new projects, such as: solutions for Education partners and service providers, Enterprise strategy, new uses of NFC, wireless, wearable technology, and mobile solutions.

The Business Analyst intern will support the implementation of projects and programs that deliver innovation, velocity/efficiency, improve service, and lower cost.

Key functions will include:
Data analytics and presentation
Defining business cases and problem statements
Eliciting, organizing, and analyzing project requirements
Supporting requirements testing and delivery/execution
Device driver development knowledge under Windows and/or Linux, GFX driver development & debug experience & expertise is a strong preference

Responsibilities may be quite diverse of a nonexempt technical nature, going from collecting, processing and analyzing data to support project managers and Business Development Managers. Working on sales data analysis and generating reports and strategy documents. In addition, this position will include business promotion activities, process development to drive continuous growth and improvement of sales.
Qualifications

Minimum Qualifications:

- Candidate must be graduate degree holder (B.Sc.) in Business Analysis, Accounting, Finance, Economics, Mathematics/Statistics or other related field.
- Minimum of one year experience in Data Analytics disciplines
- Experience in database management is a plus.
- Experience with Linux/Windows and Android is a plus.

Preferred Qualifications:

- Project Management certification (PMP) is a plus
- Ability to collaborate with business partners and project managers to define, prioritize, and deliver programs and projects is considered a bonus
- Data analysis skills to quickly understand, depict and resolve complex business problems, conduct cost/benefit analysis, and develop alternative solutions and recommendations are an added advantage
- Ability to synthesize, display and present complex business processes & data into simple and compelling stories is considered a plus
- Ability to work with deadlines, frequent interruptions and shifting priorities. This includes working on multiple projects concurrently
- Excellent oral and written communication skills, including experience creating and delivering presentations to senior leadership and external leaders are considered an added advantage
Jobs/VacanciesRe: Jobs In Nigeria by memeguy(op): 10:27pm On Sep 21, 2015
Marketing Officer / Manager – Nigeria & West Africa
Navitas - Nigeria
Posted 3 days ago
Apply on company website
Other Details
About this job
Job description
1. Overview and objectives of the position:

The role will significantly contribute to the day to day and strategic operations of the Navitas Nigeria & West Africa Office. Focusing on sales and marketing opportunities in a predominantly business to business environment, the Marketing Officer / Manager will assist in the management, develop and implementation of the regional Strategic Sales & Marketing Plan. The role will enhance opportunities for new market development, market diversity and program implementation by providing a focus for more cost effective penetration, interaction and communication within the market and the distribution network through a Nigerian based sales & marketing function.



The Nigeria Marketing Officer / Manager will be based in Abuja and will aim to achieve the business objectives of each business unit active in the region with a direct report to the Country Manager – Nigeria & West Africa.



2. Key result areas:



Business Development (20%)



Ÿ Through market research activities identify demand for Navitas products & services in new and existing markets within the northern region of Nigeria.

Ÿ Assist in the development and/or improvement of Navitas products & services.

Ÿ Assessment of new and existing stakeholders (agents, government organisations, etc) within the region.



Sales (35%)



Ÿ Participate in market development activities including travel and promotion of the company’s products and services to agents, sponsorship bodies and potential students/candidates.

Ÿ Prepare sales forecasts through the analysis of market trends.

Ÿ Compile sales figures relating to market volume and share of market.

Ÿ Enquiry management – agents, students & potential clients.



Marketing (20%)

Develop an appropriate marketing strategy and manage implementation within new and existing regions.
Promote the company, actions and products by undertaking necessary and appropriate liaison with various external stakeholders including both government and non-government agencies.
Control the preparation and release of publicity in accordance with established policies and procedures and maintain good relations with press, radio, television and other media.
Provide monthly reports on all aspects of marketing activity, including student recruitment targets, promotional activities, expenditure, competitor activity, market trends & issues.


Financial (5%)



Ÿ Prepare budgets and forecasts associated with Navitas products/services.

Ÿ Day to day management of marketing budget for the region and evaluate the effectiveness of products and strategies.



General (20%)



Ÿ Ensure effective implementation of agreed sales and marketing strategy.

Ÿ Manage and coordinate the day to day operations of the Nigeria Office.

Ÿ Provide administrative & logistical support when required.

Ÿ Work with Navitas Group Marketing, printers and others to develop promotional materials.

Ÿ Maintain and monitor stocks of promotional materials.

Ÿ Process requests for agency agreements with potential agents, in accordance with Navitas policy and procedures.





3. Qualifications and Selection Criteria

Essential:

Possess a Bachelor’s / tertiary degree level qualification and / or marketing experience
High Level English skills
Demonstrate high level interpersonal communication skills inclusive of writing, communication and presentation skills
Demonstrate a proven ability as a team player
Demonstrate a flexible attitude to work (e.g., in hours and content), including a willingness to work weekends and evenings in support of recruitment activities both locally and abroad
Demonstrate innovative thinking and proactive work habits
Demonstrate a commitment to self-development to enhance skills and abilities
Have the ability to work to tight deadlines, changing priorities, on their own initiative
Be self-motivated and good organiser
Have extensive knowledge and experience in using Windows-based software applications
Willingness to undertake international travel


Desirable:

International study experience
Possess knowledge of international Education Services Industry and overseas education system


If you are interested in this role, please click the below link to make an initial expression of interest:



http://study.navitas.com/JobAppForm.html

Applications close 5.00pm Friday 2 October 2015.
Jobs/VacanciesJobs In Nigeria by memeguy(op): 10:25pm On Sep 21, 2015
I will be posting jobs here from time to time. They are not tailored to a specific demographic. However, If you meet the requirements for any of the jobs, do endeavour to apply.


Recruitment & Admissions Officer – Nigeria & West Africa
Navitas - Nigeria
Apply on company website
Other Details
About this job
Job description
1. Overview and Objectives of the Position:

This role forms an integral part of the Navitas Group Marketing team and will be based in Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt (Nigeria). The position reports to the Marketing Manager - Nigeria & West Africa and will be expected to act as a supportive member of the Nigeria & West Africa group marketing team, providing cover (domestically and internationally) when required.



As the Recruitment & Admissions Officer the role will be responsible for sales and marketing support to the following destination countries:



USA
Canada
UK
Australia


The overall objective of the position is to support the Navitas West Africa Group Marketing team in their goal of market development, diversity and growth.



2. Key Result Areas:



Administrative Responsibilities (40%)



Administrative support, including word processing, spread sheet and data entry functions
Assistance with the organisation and management of international events
Preparing and maintaining training / sales PowerPoint presentations
Managing distribution of required promotional materials internationally
Processing requests for agency agreements with potential agents
Maintaining up-to-date made offer (international students) records utilising CRM systems
Office administration i.e. contractors, mail, office orders, etc.


Sales (20%)

When required professionally represent Navitas at International exhibitions and student fairs – within the West Africa remit
Ensure that all student / agent enquiries are effectively followed up within agreed time parameters, including coordinating/distributing and/or responding to direct enquiries


Marketing (30%)



Contribute to & support the development & implementation of the Europe & West Africa sales and marketing strategy
Liaise with key stakeholders on Navitas updates & changes


General (10%)

Provide administrative support when required
Working with designers, printers and others to develop promotional materials




3. Qualifications and Selection Criteria



Essential:

Possess a Bachelor’s/tertiary degree level qualification and / or marketing experience
High Level English skills
Demonstrate high level interpersonal communication skills inclusive of writing, communication and presentation skills
Demonstrate a proven ability as a team player
Demonstrate a flexible attitude to work (e.g., in hours and content), including a willingness to work weekends and evenings in support of recruitment activities both locally and abroad
Demonstrate innovative thinking and proactive work habits
Demonstrate a commitment to self-development to enhance skills and abilities
Have the ability to work to tight deadlines, changing priorities, on their own initiative
Be self-motivated and good organiser
Have extensive knowledge and experience in using Windows-based software applications
Willingness to undertake international travel


Desirable:

International study experience
Possess knowledge of international Education Services Industry and overseas education system


If you are interested in this role, please click the below link to make an initial expression of interest:



http://study.navitas.com/JobAppForm.html

Applications close 5.00pm Friday 2 October 2015.
TV/MoviesRe: Will Smith's Terrible Nigerian Accent As Dr. Bennet Omalu In "Concussion” by memeguy: 5:33pm On Sep 01, 2015
I think the accent was alright. it's the typical accent of adult nigerians who have lived in the US for a while.
PoliticsRe: Nigerian States And What They Produce by memeguy: 9:52pm On Aug 12, 2015
SS3 Geography all over again.
NYSCRe: NYSC Personal CDS Projects By Ayokanmi Oyeyemi by memeguy: 7:50am On Aug 10, 2015
Very good bro. Only you donate all these things? Infact na only you do NYSC o.
TravelRe: Nigerian Students In The Uk How Do You Survive? by memeguy: 6:49pm On Aug 06, 2015
A person can ask his question however he pleases. It really isn't anyone's business.
CelebritiesRe: Pope Francis Pitches Tent With Meek Mill Against Drake by memeguy: 8:54pm On Aug 05, 2015
Loool.

You guys be taking this roast too far..
PoliticsRe: I Owe Nobody - Dabiri,Uzodinma Cries Out by memeguy: 8:50pm On Aug 05, 2015
Well she certainly didn't have to cry about it.
PoliticsRe: Emir Of Kano, Sanusi Meets Osinbajo Today (Photos) by memeguy: 8:25pm On Aug 05, 2015
ONIjibit1:
Omo, na u be photoshop oooo






Ah ah






Just now now sha
Haha. Lol. Oluwa lo se.
PoliticsRe: Emir Of Kano, Sanusi Meets Osinbajo Today (Photos) by memeguy:
Nigeria is truly a united and tolerant nation. Pastor & Emir dancing. I pray it becomes great once more.

PoliticsRe: PDP Being The Opposition Is Not Easy - Olisa Metuh by memeguy:
Merriam-Webster dictionary ©2015

Pim ° /peem/
Exclamation

1.Unnecessary banter

"Metuh has been making noise since PDP lost, like a car shouting pim, pim, pim!"

2. An interjection to keep someone from talking too much

"Metuh, don't say pim again, or you'll hear weeeeeen!"
CelebritiesRe: Who Rocked The Nose Ring Better? Cynthia Or Ireti? by memeguy: 7:45pm On Aug 05, 2015
Irethia. Wow. Not trying to be insulting or whatnot, but isn't that a cownose ring on the black girl with red hair?
CelebritiesRe: Oritsefemi & Friends Pictured With Big Snake by memeguy: 7:36pm On Aug 05, 2015
kilokeys:
Who is this bloody omo ikare akoko.

Fvking aliterate
Baba don't go there. I'm in a good mood today. Just go your way, so you can sleep well.
CelebritiesRe: Oritsefemi & Friends Pictured With Big Snake by memeguy: 7:32pm On Aug 05, 2015
kilokeys:
U r so unintelligent.. Thats why you would get deported two days after you get here.
Deported from where? Nigeria? Lol!! Do you know where I am? Ab'ode leleyi ni?

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