₦airaland Forum

@Op, I feel ur pain and d situation is pathetic and its no different from what most ladies withing ur age bracket often are confronted with. Jst to say a few things as an addendum to what others hv highlighted e.g Nazi.
1. From ur write ups and response, u strike me like some1 who is 'd all serious' type of lady and trust me, to a certain extent, guys usually detest/find it repulsive when dey encounter ladies who act 'overly serious' to issues that bother on sexuality.
2. Also from ur response and write-up, u sound like one who will always insist on her ideals without giving attention to the fact that u might be doing a disservice to logical and contemporary reasoning.
3. We live in a world where sex has pervaded d scene and has become the 'in-thing' and guys find it difficult to believe or reckon with d fact dat ladies of ur age have nothing to do with sex. Bt here's the thing, even when they come on th platform of not having a platonic relationship with u, hw do u react or respond to them cos that will also be an indicator to letting dem knw ur being truthful or ur jst being d pretentious type (the ecclisiatical tie of d guy not withstanding).
4. Ur write up also connotes ur d one that is also fed up with guys approaching u from d stand poit of 'sex in relationship' and dat has formed an atmosphere around u such dat d mere mention of it to u by a guy jst gets u irritated and trust me that can scare a 'genuine' guy away who probably did isn't serious abt d whole 'sexual relationship thing'
5. Suggestion: be flexible around guys (bt let ur values be intact) and dnt put up d whole 'holier-than-thou' attitude even when ur approached from dat angle. Be urself bt dnt b a snub while u exude elegance and poise.
6. Pls dnt go clubbing or partying or any of those sort cos u won't find d better ones there (aldoh u dnt strike me like one who will).
7. Maintain ur spiritual standing and watch ur friends cos some may doubt ur virginity status as a result of d peeps u roll with.
8. Be prayerful and expect d one with a 'right-mindset' dat connects efficiently and effectively with urs (cos there's nothing like d 'right person' as some posit......that's for another day doh).

#MyHumbleSubmission
#NotJudgingU
#AllDBest
#Muchas Gracias!

@op dis write up came from d bowels of her heart and it simply expresses a hof depression and devastation. I'd jst like to say a few things for the record and its to all guys especially students. First of all, ur book (s) and future should be ur priority. Secondly, ladies are 'wired' to receive which presupposes d fact that if u wanna hv a gf den be reaction ready to give and share in her financial demands (not a rule of thumb doh bt that's how our society has turned it be) unlike op who only give her money to come visit him and still expect her to get 'intimate' with him (judging from her write up doh cos u can't conclude until u hear frm both parties) him.......bros u can't eat ur cake and hv it.....
My humble submission @ op is for u to focus on ur studies and forget abt having a gf since u hv ur future as a priority so u dnt mismanage someones else 'wife' cos from ur reaction it follows u dnt even c a future with her as per she being ur wife.
#jstsaying.

@ MWTH,

Thanks for saying something relevant and reconstructing the OP's view point.
Although I am not a fan of Amaechi or any of the nominee that has been screened thus far, I personally think the OP's opinion lacks merit and credibility. How?

1) Amaechi understood the the tempo his screening will create especially with the PDP Senators and he began by dowsing and stripping the atmosphere of any kind of tension, when he talked abt his relationship with the Senators from Rivers State and others from d Niger Delta region. And I think that's simple wisdom considering d kind of 'noise' that his nomination has created.

2) I have repeatedly said here that there is nobody that goes for a Job interview (d nominee) and starts telling the interviewer (d Senators) that they haven't asked him certain questions that they are supposed to. It is for the nominee to intelligently respond to whatever dimension of question that is thrown @ him with dexterity and competence. Which I think was d situation with Amaechi. How can a man whose nomination has kept d populace in such degree of expection be asked 'what is his advice to younger politician and if he thinks 19 is greater than 12', that's d height of dumpness cos even the 'question' itself will b angry y d questionier will b asking such a question to someone who wants to become a minister of the Federal Republic. When there are issues bedeviling our nation and d populace yearns for a man with a blueprint and a framework of how he is going to tackle diz issues? And some senator who says he's representing us is asking some ephemeral and peripheral question to a prospective Federal Executive Officer, if confirmed? That's jst preposterous and sickening.

3) Amaechi tried to avoid every ounce of political sentiment and personality assasination (eg to d immediate past president) even when some questions drove him to dat pedestal especially with regards to d controversy his nomination has caused. That again is common sence ( as Mury Bruce would say).

4) Why will d PDP Senators decline from asking Amaechi deep-hearted questions on the grounds of not getting to know the content of the report submitted by a committee they set up? Are they not suppose to express their unapproval of d screening of Amaechi and clear that aspect b4 coming to the floor? And while will they say to be screened is one thing and to b confirmed is another (by Akpabio during his interview with AIT)? Is their a constitution or Senatorial Code of Conduct dat stripps dem of the 'right' to ask d nominee questions since they haven't seen d report submitted by d committee? Too many questions jst flooded my mind as I watched todays show of shame by our Senators yet again.

.........We really need to do a lot of growing-up in dis nation and begin to take issues of National importance very. seriously.

#God bless Nigeria.
#God bless d Nigerian Youth
#God bless NL.

Hehehehehehehehe! I laugh in pidgin.

This conversation is really interesting. It goes a long way to say that the Nigerian Youths aren't dumb as alleged by the 'elders' and I'v learnt a lot.

Anyways, I think the OP made some points and those who replied have made arguments worthy of note.
Suffice me to make certain deductions from the foregoing narrative:

1) Fashola wasn't under any oath whatsoever or legal cross-examination. It was more or less an interview session for a Ministerial portfolio so he has the right to self-defence and to counter questions intelligently (as most of us will, if put in that condition) using any mechanism at his disposal, as would any other nominee.
......For instance, d outrageous amount spent on website design was thrown @ him (Fashola) and he technically defended himself, whether or not he was right or wrong was left for the Senators to decode. #pls tell me who wouldn't do dat when in dat condition.
.........The issue of the amount is sometimes a function of the contractor that executed d design and dat largely depends on the kind of website the State actually wanted (leme leave dat for the I.T gurus). More so, price range also differs cos what Mr. A will 'charge' to design a website will b different from the price of Mr. B since there isn't any fixed price to website design and dat goes for all other technical and expert jobs. #Bt trust me, dat amount was way outta line#...........
....Talking abt d issue of who signed cheque or not, the Chief Admin of a State can't categorically say he is unaware of what went out of d State coffers, or who signed a certain amount to be released and for what purpose. Cos b4 even d entire process is concluded, he (d Chief Admin) must give his express approval. And so to me, his claims on 'institutional process' is neither here nor there. Cos if dat should b be anything to go by, it simply indicates he isn't meticulous and his admin prowess is questionable.

2) It is left for the interviewers to ask him (using Fashola's interview as a case study) relevant and pertinent questions with regards to his antecedents as a Governor, Leader, Administrator and perhaps as a SAN. And hence they failed to do that, that is to the advantage of the nominee, bearing in mind that he needs d job else he won't be there. Cos I know u don't expect the nominee to remind the interviewers of questions they probably should ask him/her. Nobody goes to an interview room/hall and after d session, starts reminding d interviewers that.....oh! U forgot to ask me dis and dat.

3) And I think we should be more constructive in our criticism with respect to the OP's narrative and let go of issues bothering on political party sentiment, tribal inclinations and character/personality assasination cos we are one Nigeria and whether we like it or not, we are all inteconnected in one way or the other. So to an extent whatever affects A will have an impact on B as well.

4) Finally, I would say that our 'interviewers', the senators of the Federal Republic should bear in mind that they are representing the entire Nation and so questions that bothers on Nominees' skill set, admin and leadership prowess, competence, versatility on the issues affecting the Nigerian State and pragmatic approach to combating these issues rather than allowing themselves to be bamboozled by intelligent speeches and grammar renditions and applauding same to the utter chagrin, disappointment and disillusionment of the populace.

#Fashola or any other nominee isn't the problem of Nigeria.
#Not a fan of Fashola or any other nominee. The Senate should try and do a good job for us.
#Lets all hope for d best as we keep evolving democratically.
#God bless Nigeria and NL.

Pls I got same mail as arclexical without any prior mail (Further to your test invitations, you are scheduled to be seated in (Hall name: MOOT COURT) at the Nigerian Law School Ozumba Mbadiwe Street, Victoria Island, Lagos. Please bring along a print out of this invite and the previously sent invite.) from Dangote group as well. Bh the thing is, there isn't any date or time for the test. Pls anyone with useful info should kindly help us. Tnx.

N/B: Business Casual is simply a Shirt and Trouser/Pant or Skirt (for females), well tucked-in. It could be with or without a tie. Success to all involved.

Are u kidding me or somfn Like ur bf said dat and u still want to hang on cos he said he was joking? Dat ws too expensive for a joke. Let's I forget leme say dat guys usually, more often dan nt, communicate facts in form of joke so when dey r caught dey'll say its a joke. Bt I think @ ur age u should be focused on ur studies rather dan concentrate ur effort n energy on some relationship issues (except ur in ur final year doh).

Young man, pls if u need sincere answers den u'v got to b sincere and tell us all there is abt ur relationship with her and what led to d chaos.

Hehehehehe! Its laughable doh. Are u kidding? Like u take care of all doz personalities and pay bills with a 100k salary? In Naija? In lagos? Owk, leme biliv u probably hv other income sources. Thanks for shearing doh.......Bt here's d tin.......how did u start with her? Cos for me dats very important. Did u present urself to her @ d begining as on rich dude cos for she to start demanding 'outrageously' it means u hv unconsciously or unknowingly given rizns to ask for more dan u can give. Bt d deed has been done. I'd suggest, u communicate 'effectively' to her in love and make her understand u both hv a future 2geda and d responsibilities u hv is enormous. And dat she is definitely in d big picture of ur future. When u assure her of the future part, I guess she'll adjust herself( cos trust me, every gurl wants to b assured and reassured of her future with her man) bt if she doesn't, den u probably should consider keeping her in 'friends zone' cos she myt jst hv something up her sleeve........may b to chop ya money run away.....lols......Warmth Regards man!

Lols....Lmao! Well leme say dis jst for d records dat there are no badt gurls, there are only gurls with a lopsided view abt life and d masculine gender. And when dey fix dia views and get it right, dey end up with d right, good n rich guy.

Just say thank u gurl cos u jst made me wiser!

A man who sees nofn in a lady other as a sex object is probably headed for doom. Cos there are more to a lady dan sex. I'd like to state dat Every lady have d intrisic ability to reproduce whatever u give to her; 2ndly there level of intuition is unparalleled and dat makes dem bether solution providers dan men (open to debate); 3rdly, dia emotional inclination to their environment makes dem more sensitive and proactive dan men.......I can go on n on. Bt here is d thing, untill u c beyond d physique or outlook of a lady u won't b able to access, harness and thus enjoy dat which is real 'her'. May b u should begin to take a closer look @ ur mother den u probably would hv a change of perception abt d feminine gender. Best regards!

B4 I comment, I mst thank you for your sincerity cos diz days we here things like 'my friend is in dis and my friend is in dat'. Meanyl dey are actually d ones involved. Keeping that in view doh, I'd like to highlight key points of ur thread viz a viz love, patience, friends, disgrace and talk. These are primary parameters that actually keeps d fire of any r/ship on. Bt like d maxim goes, love conquers all.
My suggestion is thus:
I dnt knw hw lng u hv bin in d r/ship bt for u to cry out nw it means u mst hv tried out all other options cos from the tone of ur write up, u actually hv made up ur mind to quit d r/ship. Bt dat nt withstanding, I think if u wanna give up on her, it shouldn't be premised on what ur friends think cos dat wouldn't be a fair treat. Bt rather it should be based on d fact dat she is not teachable and thus doesn't c d necessity to change. Cos any human who isn't teachable is not a candidate for change or transformation. Bt if and only if u luv her,like u said, I suggest u give some time so she will get use to 'the conventional life' cos u said she is 'villageous'. Communicate with her and correct her in love more often when she is nt doing it ur way. If u do diz, u'd probably make a head way! Best regards.