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Marriage Palaver
Well guys this just came to my mind based on some stories and the experiences of close friends and family.
Firstly I would like to ask this question – “When does love die?”
I cannot answer this question so I would like to throw it open so I can get answers and also to learn.
It is funny how two people claim to be in love, start dating, go through the courtship process and then decide to get married.
We also have the counselling sessions where the two people over a period of 3-6 months visit churches or mentors for guidance and teachings related to marriage.
Finally, the planning and preparation for the wedding starts. Once concluded, the D-Day comes and then the marriage begins.
From what I have heard there is no manual or handbook for marriage. We just hope that God takes control and it works out.
Suddenly, either husband or wife realizes that what they thought would be a perfect match made in heaven becomes a nightmare.
What I don’t understand is how it results into fighting and beating even to the extent of killing.
A lot of kids today are exposed to domestic violence which is really sad.
Some women choose to still stay in this kind of violent marriages with the hope that things would change. The funny thing is domestic violence goes both ways for both parties as some women are “men – beaters”.
So that is why I asked the question in the beginning – “When does love die” because if the two parties were so in love and inseparable at what point did things go wrong.
Some men or women start misbehaving right from the start. At times, we see the signs and just ignore hoping the erring party would change and turn a new leaf. In this case, most times the person even gets worse.
Also, some start changing after the kids start coming in. You start hearing things like
- She is too fat and out of shape
- She is not taking good care of herself
- She doesn’t dress well any longer etc.
The most painful aspect is that instead of calling your partner and discussing your grievances you keep quiet and find solace in the arms of another person or you start drinking, smoking and beating.
So back to domestic violence – I feel that one should be able to control your emotions no matter the circumstance. For example if your boss at work annoys you I’m sure you won’t raise your hands to give him/her a slap or a punch so why would you do it to someone you claim to love and promised for better or worse.
Some men become cranky once they are broke and decide to maltreat their wives and blame them for their misfortune instead of bracing up and looking for legit means to make money.
A lot people have ended up in coffins due to domestic violence. Yes the bible says the only reason for divorce should be sexual immorality but also the same holy book says thou shall not Kill.
If u end up killing your wife or husband you are a murderer and have sinned greatly against God.
I will stop by saying if anyone is going through physical and verbal assault especially physical assault it is advisable you separate and find a place to rethink and look for ways to move forward. It is better to stay alive and be hopeful than to be beaten to death.

Please feel free to drop your opinions , views and suggestions.
Thank you and God bless you all.
http://michelleakede..com.ng/

Finding Mr. Right – The perfect match
Wow this is a golden topic amongst single women. The term “Mr. right is mostly used to define our perfect match, our dream man, missing rib, the one we would be compatible with amongst other positive reasons.
When we look at finding the right person, most ladies have a long list of qualities we look out for. I would mention a few and then you can add yours too because I may not be able to mention all as we have different criteria’s and mindsets.
Here are a few qualities –
 The regular “Tall, dark and handsome” which to me is totally myopic.
 Rich and famous – also sounds funny to me because there’s more to life than this.
 Hardworking, smart, handsome, great sense of humor.
 Great sexual prowess, rich, handsome, socializer.
 God- fearing, intelligent, hard-working, go-getter, handsome.
This are just a few that I can remember. While we have our various reasons for having such criteria’s I would like to delve a little and be spiritual about if you don’t mind. I believe that the key to finding the right partner lies with God in all sincerity because if you look at all the criteria’s this does not truly define who the person really is, some people are very good at pretending and telling lies more like faking it. Yes if he’s handsome you’ll see it, one can act smart but not necessarily be smart if you know what I mean. Hardworking well its relative I can form busy without doing anything in actual sense. Life isn’t all about sex so I’ll skip the sexual prowess part because there’s more to life than being good in bed. Being rich is also very good because it saves you from a lot of stress and insult. As for fame no comment its nut compulsory abeg.
I heard this once from a guy and I think it actually makes sense. He said “a guy knows who he really wants to be with, it’s the lady who’s not sure about her position in the relationship” I stand to be corrected though. Basically we should all seek God’s face to find the right person and also please as ladies or guys know what you are really looking for, be sure of what you want and do not settle for less.

Also please prepare yourself to be desired, package well, behave right, learn the basics and ask for counsel from the experienced ones in marriage that also helps too well as long as it’s good and sincere advice . Be mature enough and ready for a relationship too don’t start what you are not ready for.
God help us all, from hooking us up with our prince charming or an amazing woman.

Note: The criteria’s were gotten based on discussions with a few people don’t judge. However you can tell me your own criteria and opinion ladies. Let’s make this more interesting

Eye – Service - Workplace syndrome.[b][/b]
I cannot believe I am writing an article on this topic. Well it’s a norm in Nigeria as you all know and it needs to be addressed.
Definition of eye- service: The dictionary describes it as a noun and it is defined as “work or service done only when the employer is watching”.
The urban dictionary defines it as – “the act of using the eyes when a teacher, boss or parent is looking to cause the target to think you are working when actually you are thinking of nothiness.”
If I am correct we in Nigeria have our own definition and we describe it in various ways, I will give a few examples-
 When a person is forming busy when in actual sense he or she is not doing any work.
 Always trying to look good in the eyes of your boss or employer.
 Looking for favors with top management staffs.
 The I –TOO-KNOW syndrome when you actually don’t know anything.
 Turning yourself into a house boy or house girl in the office just because you want your boss to like you and give you good appraisal scores.[color=#990000][/color][i][/i]
A little analysis would be given as you read further. We are all employees of company A, in a particular department we are 12 who report to a supervisor.
We have one particular Mr B who Is forever ready to run to the boss to tell tales and epistles. Its so sad that in offices today you have a lot of people who just loaf around but once the boss is around they pretend to know what their job descriptions entails. Imagine having a group meeting with your boss and someone in the room just likes to hear his own voice, talking and making funny remarks , shutting every other persons opinion down but at the end when projects are given he cannot even complete a task and meet up with deadlines.
Once the boss is not around he is either watching a movie, surfing pictures on instagram or chatting away. Unserious people forming seriousness in the work environment.
Let us analyze the houseboy syndrome I mentioned earlier. An employee that is ready to even work overtime in your bosses’ house. Suggesting buying lunch for your boss, picking up his kids from school, cooking for your boss, buying presents etc. please don’t get me wrong about the last point I just mentioned. Yes you can buy presents for your boss i.e. Christmas presents, birthday presents that’s fine but when it becomes too much and I know you will say which one is when it becomes too much but some people over do it. Being nice to your boss is fine but get the job done, know what you are doing. Face your job description.
I’ll like to wrap this up by saying your work speaks for you, you need to be professional at all times in the workplace. Let’s avoid looking for favors everywhere, let’s say no to lobbying.
As for our employers please treat all workers fairly and equally, avoid favoritism. Grade workers based on the quality of their work and not by the amount of gifts you have received or how many favors the individual has done for you.
We need to make our employees feel valued based on their efficiency and contribution to company goals and not by sentiments.
TO BE CONTINUED.