Alright in the past few weeks Twitter has been going crazy over this #hitsblunt trend
The tweets are supposed to be maarijuana inspired but they are soo funny heres a few
1. Bro why is it called a building if its already built

2. If we are high as hell doesn't that mean we are not high at all

3. What colour is a mirror

4. If 2 vegans are arguing can you still call it beef

5(My best) If Mary had the baby Jesus. Abd Jesus is the lamb of God doesn't that mean Mary had a little lamb

6. How do you even describe a colour without saying its name

5. Bruh if blind people dream can they see it

6. If you are born deaf what language do you think in
7. How do we know the sun is really hot if we've never touched it

8. Instead of buying a new 3d printer cant we just rent one and then use the rented one to print out a new 3d printer and then return the old one

8. How come drinks get warm but food gets cold

9. If love is blind how is lovr at first sight possible

10. In the word scent which is silent.. S or C

11. Whrm butterflies are in love do they feel humans in thier bellies

12. Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed

Feel free to check more out on Twitter

Nothing, nothing at all, dating that ugly pig was the greatest mistake of my life. I mean what kind of woman refuses to have her bath before work, the painful fact was that she was fair so everyone naturally assumed that she was clean..... Her cooking ho my God she could not cook to save her destiny and that annoying nagging u almost recharged MTN 1500 on her face because of her nagging, all I want is to come home,eat,and watch crime and investigation. But the se.x tho....mind-blowing.

1. Have a simple handle: i find it annoying when someone gives me their handle and i cannot pronounce it. The basic rule of having a cool handle is that you should never put the words fresh,swag,doro,bad guy,sexy in your handle. Resist temptation to do it

2. Never ask a celebrity for a follow back: celebs get like 2 million mentions a day so you asking them for a follow back is not right at all once again resist the temptation to do it

3. Having an actual Bio: the bio feature on Twitter does not say you should write your actual life story. keep your bio very simple and straight to the point

4. Location: this is not necessary but i personally advice that you keep your location creative too

5: Tweet according to trends: as a beginner it is safe to just tweet according to what everyone else is tweeting (never copy tweets, it might haunt you) .

6. Never tweet "INSPIRATIONAL" tweets: please you are not Deepak Chopra or the Dalai lama. When people read your tweets you don't want to leave them thinking for too long. Make them laugh or at least tweet something relatable to real life.

7. Never GBAGAUN your tweets: i don't even need to explain why you should not gbagaun, you should know why

i guess my work is done and if its possible can the mods make this Front page i think we all need it btw follow me on twitter @frankwakama

Lol 2012

Many of we single people just never like to admit that we have problems and thats why we are single
As for me i know why i am single is because I like to control every single thing that goes on in my life(and in other people's lives as well),

I also hate dirt,which is big problem because i always go out with dirty girls, another reason is that i am narcissist and i adore myself i dont have a big ego i just belive that i can do certain things better than others..

ADD YOUR RESON FOR BEING SINGLE

Dead guy. Wizkid music does not stand for anything me i cannot use my money and buy his useless album even though it might only be priced at N250

1. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

2. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

3. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks “Do all of you want a drink?”
The first logician says “I don’t know.”
The second logician says “I don’t know.”
The third logician says “Yes!”

4. Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek.lt’s Einstein’s turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten.Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims “Newton! I found you! You’re it!”
Newton smiles and says “You didn’t find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!”

5. A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said “this is pointless” and stormed off’. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out “don’t you see, you’ll never actually reach her?”. To which the engineer replied, “so what? Pretty soon I’ll be close enough for all practical purposes!”

6. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
“You mean a martini?” the bartender asks.
The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

7. Another Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.

8. A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: “So, is it a boy or a girl” ?
The logician replies: “yes”.

9. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies,
“I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream.
How about with no milk?”

10. Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

11 . How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized.

12. Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

13. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Godel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Godel replies, “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says, “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.”

14. Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint, the phone rings and he jumps up shouting “oh sh!t, I forgot to feed the dog!”

15. Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” He doesn’t react.

16. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

17. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says “make me one with everything”.

18. A Higgs Boson walks into a church and the priest says “we don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here”. The Higgs Boson then replies “but without me, how could you have mass?”

19. The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

20. There’s a band called 1023MB. They haven’t had any gigs yet.

The most powerful militaries are listen in ascending order.

10.ISRAEL: A country that constantly evinces its power, Israel has been locked in a series of conflicts along its borders from over five decades. The Israeli military is famous for its sophistication in training and operation. Although comparatively less in number strength, Israel is amongst the most powerful armies in the world. Unparalleled military technology is perhaps the mightiest contributor to this feat. The country spends almost 20 percent of its budget on military expenditure.


9. SOUTH KOREA: With increasing competition and threats from unpredictable neighbours China and North Korea, South Korea has been steadily increasing its expenditure on military. The North and South have been entangled in constant confrontation since the Korean war of the 1950s. With sophisticated missiles being tested every now and then, it remains to be seen what repercussions South Korea's 40 Billion dollar military expenditure holds.


8. JAPAN: A country known for its aggressive propensity during the course of World War 2, Japan comes next on the list of World's most powerful militaries. After the debacle in World War 2, Japan was coerced to trim down the size of its military by a phenomenal extent. Even so, the third largest economy in the world spends a prodigious amount on its military, mostly owing to rising tensions between China and Russia.


7. GERMANY: In the European Union, German economic and military might is beyond comparison. An active member of NATO, Germany boasts of highly impressive technology as far as its military is concerned. The country focuses more on its economy than military, this being the only reason why it negligibly trails the other major powers.


6. FRANCE: Back in 2013, France heavily cut down on military spending, downsizing its expenditure by about 10 percent in order to focus spending on research and purchasing high tech equipment. France spends a little over 40 Billion USD on its military. Moreover, with its military impressively active in Afghanistan and Africa, the French have a lot of experience up their sleeve.


5. INDIA: India is rigorously furthering a modernization drive for its army with its military expenditure rising tremendously. With a staggering 11 million strength, the Indian army is the second largest army in the world. The country spends about 46 Billion USD on defence, a figure that is expected to see a steady rise in the years to come. India is also the largest importer of arms goods in the world.


4. UNITED KINGDOM: United Kingdom's defence budget has dropped almost 20 percent in the last 5 years. The country also plans to bring down the size of its military by almost 20 percent. The UK is mostly focusing on enhancing technology and improving research. The UK comes fourth in the list of most powerful armies in the world.


3. CHINA: The largest army in the world and second largest spender on military and defence, China is increasing its military expenditure almost exponentially. The country has substantially cut down on imports and is now focusing on developing indigenous technology. The country's recent spate of confrontation with its neighbours has prompted a heavily aggressive approach over the past few years. China has a military strength of an unimaginable 2.5 Million personnel.


2. RUSSIA: The Russian military is way more powerful today than USSR of the pre-Russian era. Russia has been increasing its spending over the eyars and mostly focuses on research of supremely effective military technology. The country is also one of the world's largest exporter of arms. It has the strongest tank force- a whopping 15,500 Tanks. The active military strength is about 760,000 personnel.


1. USA: With an unparalleled defence budget of 612 Billion USD, the United States military is unparalleled in strength and sophistication. The country boasts an unimaginable 19 aircraft carriers, much larger than the number of carriers the entire world has combined- rest of the world operates 14 carriers. If you didn't already know this, the US spends more than the next ten defence spenders combined, making it the largest defence spender and the most powerful military in the world.


EXTRA: This list is for the top 10 armies in the world, but believe it or not Nigeria has the strongest army in Africa. b

my method i.................... delete my account after one year, uninstall the app, install the app AGAIN, create a new account sooo simple

chucky234: I hate it when intellectually handicapped goons quote me just to insult me, being a birdbrain you sure wont understand how currency relate to education.

im uneducated because i called you a Nigerian and spoke the truth. if you like speak all the english in this world it wont change the fact that you are Nigerian and you would always be Nigerian, face it baba

HiiiPower:

I just opened ur post history and you are the reason why Nigeria didn't make the list. Effing gormless olodo like yourself that can't spell nor make a remotely intelligent sentence/comment suggesting about being shocked one country that should be at least number 2 made the list; and another one that shouldn't be top 50 isn't there. Isn't the avg IQ of Nigerians 70?

The only country that shouldn't be there is America. The ignorance in this country is alarming. Cuba, Luxembourg, Switzerland, and Australia are better educated than them. Poland should also be higher on the list, top 7 maybe.

you bloody fowl are you not a Nigerian . you are now making yeye noise. my dad is british and my mum is Nigerian but i feel more Nigerian than British. not to talk of you stupid idiot that has probably never left Nigeria or you are probably an illegal immigrant abroad. My brother you are Nigerian deal with it

chucky234: Try changing the various denominations of the Naira to a single then you will why Nigeria is not on that list, our illiteracy level is way higher than the literacy level.

dont be bloody stupid now what does currency have to do with education. i hate it when Nigerians lambash and abuse Nigeria. if you like live in america for a 100 years you are still Nigerian and you would always be regarded to as Nigerian. its about time all you useless excuses for Nigerians living abroad start coming back to 9ja and start building it. if you are not going to help us (we the Nigerians living in Nigeria) build it then just STFU(shut the fvck up) and observe

In case you dont know. Nigerians are the most educated Africans in America,the UK and even China. I think the reason this is so is because 1 in every 5 africans is a Nigerian. Nigerians might most probably be the most educated people on earth but Nigerians are just scattered everywhere in the world

it is not safe for schools to resume in September at all. i mean when i was a child if 1 kid had chicken pox,measles,cold,or even pink eye on Monday, by Friday basically the whole class would have it. not to talk of the king of communicable diseases Ebola. I personally dont like the health minister he behaves as if he has everything under control even whenn he knows he doesn't.

Today is deadline day for European transfers and im hearing unconfirmed reports that Danny Welbeck is joining the Gunners. abeg somebody help me confirm it oh. btw my source us Sky Sports

Edusouls: Shut up liar, 6billiön dollars, who dash monkey bananna, nollywood is a drama based industry, not movie, it is the worst movie industry in the world..it just worth about 12million naira or less..

if you dont know facts better shuttup the movie industry is contributing $6 billion to the gdp growth if you like you can research and douse your ignorance

with a yearly revenue of over $6 billion hell yes its a worthy bussines. we might have to tune some stuff to make it a bigger bussines. i see potential in nollywood if you dont you might as well shut up. From a very patriotic Nigerian

silverprince413: Arsenal die die die. From a chelsea fan

look agboros better not come and start hatting. chealsea fans are always razz and scruffy people

team afc for life

ehn