₦airaland Forum

BUHARI SUPPORTERS 1. Buhari said he would pay unemployed citizens. You clapped *He said he cannot pay unemployed citizens. Also clapped 2. Buhari said he does not know anything called subsidy. You clapped *He paid subsidy. you also clapped. 3. When he removed all road blocks. You clapped. *When he reinstalled road blocks. You also clapped. 4. When he relocated military command to North East. You clapped. *He returned military command back. You clapped 5. He said he would never devalue the Naira. You clapped. *He devalued the Naira. You clapped. 6. He said he would not have the office of the first lady. You clapped. *He has the office of the first lady. You clapped 7. He said he will make N1 equals to $1. You clapped *$1 is officially equal N280. You are clapping 8. He said he will end Boko Haram insurgencies 3 months into his regime, he later said in December when the rains stop. You clapped. *Today, Boko Haram is still killing people. You are clapping. 9. He said he would turn all presidential jets to national carrier. You clapped. *Today, he and his family are cruising on all presidential jets. You are clapping 10. He said he would build one new refinery each year. You clapped. *Its getting to one year, no refinery has been built. You are still clapping. 11. Buhari first went to England and he took pictures with Cameron. You. Clapped. *Buhari went to England and he was disgraced by Cameron. You also clapped. 12. Buhari Promised to reduce the price of petrol you clapped. * Petrol was increased to 145 you also clapped.

1. When you chop alone in government and no one chops with you, that is called OBJ 2. When you chop in government and you allow others to chop their own,that is called IBB 3. When you chop in government and you give others from what you have chopulated, that is called Abdusallam 4. When you chop in government and d place you are chopin eventually fold up, that is called ATiku 5. When you dey chop in government, you no remember your driver, secretary, office assistants, dat is called Gowon 6. When you dey chop alone in government, no remember anybody, you kon dey get headache today, fever tomorrow dat one is called Shonekan 7. When dem just appoint you for government position, and you just chop small, auditors kon come say bring all papers, dat is called Nwodo 8. When you chop in government and you die while chopin, that is called Abacha 9. When you want to chop in government and you first give others to chop before you begin to chop, that is called Goodluck Jonathan 10. When you are chopin your own in government and you call your friends to come and chop their own too, that is called Ibori 11. When you chop and clean mouth like say you no chop anything, that is called Fashola 12. When you chop from this government, that government, other government, all government dat one is called Tinibu 13. When you chop in government so taaay you scatter ground, three houses for America, two for London, six for Maitama, seven for VI, all dey go shopping for Dubai, children dey go summer for Spain, EFCC kon grab you, dat one is called Deziani 14. When you chop well well for government and people know say you chop well well but you dey deny say you chop well well, dat one is called Rotimi Amechi 15. When you chop in government so tay you are even richer than the place you dey chop, dat one is called Rochas 16. When you no chop in government but Madam follow back door chop and you die without chopin, that is called Yar'adua 17. When conductor chop pass driver wey no dey chop & no fit stop conductor, dat one is called Patience 18. When you chop so tey you tire and come begin de distribute the choppings to others. That one is called Dasuki 19. When you see government money and u no want to chop and won't let others (those wey don chop b4 and doz wey never chop b4) chop, dat one is called Buhari.

10. MIXED TRANSFER RECORD | Over £300 million has been thrown away on transfers like Marouane Fellaini, Memphis Depay and Angel Di Maria since Ferguson retired in 2013. Meanwhile, Mourinho's transfer record is littered with expensive flops like Ricardo Quaresma, Amantino Mancini and Nuri Sahin, as well as terrible sales like Kevin De Bruyne, Mohamed Salah and Arjen Robben.

9. POOR PEP RECORD | One of the biggest challenges for Man Utd next season will be competing with Manchester City and Guardiola. Although he's had the occasional success, the 2010 Champions League most memorably, his record vs Pep's Barcelona while at Real Madrid was noticeably inferior.

8. MAN UTD BOARDROOM BATTLE | Transfer chief Ed Woodward is believed to be the architect of Mourinho's impending arrival at Old Trafford but few others at boardroom level are convinced the Portuguese should be hired, including Ferguson. If Mourinho flops, the pressure to turn form around will mount rapidly.

7. SHORT-TERM BLINKERS | Instant success is everything Mourinho stands for and why he's being hired, but that's not what Fergie saw as the Manchester United way. Any talk of the club developing a dynasty will be torpedoed and all that will matter is the next result, the next win, the next trophy.

6. RELATIONSHIP WITH JORGE MENDES | The most powerful agent in the world, Mendes is so close to Mourinho that he reportedly had his own office at Real Madrid during his friend’s reign. This has led to many of Mendes’ players moving to Mourinho clubs, but will this be healthy for Man Utd? The laughable loan signing of Mendes client Radamel Falcao for Chelsea last summer illustrates the risks of such a relationship.

5. NO CLASS, NO DIPLOMACY | Whatever one's views on Manchester United's supposed moral high ground, it is easy to understand why club legend Bobby Charlton was against appointing Mourinho as Alex Ferguson's successor. He's eye-gouged a fellow coach, played a direct role in the retirement of a referee and, most recently, made a female team doctor's position completely untenable. Charlton said that while Ferguson respected Mourinho, "he doesn't like him too much". Few do.

4. COMPLETE STYLE CHANGE | Antonio Conte and Pep Guardiola are coaches who have been hired to develop the existing styles and tactics already deployed at Chelsea and Manchester City. Mourinho's tactics are nothing like what Louis van Gaal has been playing at Man Utd, so the team will have to start again from scratch.

3. HOMEGROWN HATER | Jose Mourinho's record of bringing young players through the ranks – or lack of one – is infamous. Would the likes of Jesse Lingard, Cameron Borthwick-Jackson, Marcus Rashford or Timothy Fosu- Mensah have broken into the first team under Mourinho? No chance.

2. ANTI-FOOTBALL, NOT ATTACKING FOOTBALL | One of the principle reasons for sacking Van Gaal is his sterile brand of possession football. It is farcical, then, that in a bid to bring the buzz back to Old Trafford, United have now turned to a coach renowned for a defence-orientated, counterattacking game. Against top opposition, Mourinho's teams nearly always set out to destroy rather than create. Hardly 'the Manchester United way'.

1. TACTICALLY OUTDATED | Ever since taking over Real Madrid in 2010, Mourinho has not evolved in a strategic sense. While his favoured 4-2-3-1 system is still popular in the Premier League, none of Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Paris Saint-Germain, Juventus or Atletico Madrid use it. Mourinho’s philosophy of a rigid formation protected by a flat back four and double midfield pivot has become predictable and overly pragmatic.

The Dutchman's polarising reign at Old Trafford has been cut short amid intense speculation that Jose Mourinho has been lined up as his replacement Manchester United have sacked manager Louis van Gaal, Old Trafford sources have informed Goal. The Dutchman led United to their first FA Cup triumph since 2004 on Saturday, with a 2-1 win over Crystal Palace, though celebrations were quickly overshadowed by speculation regarding Jose Mourinho's imminent arrival. Van Gaal's two-year reign at Old Trafford proved divisive, with several fans and former players bemused by the Dutchman's playing style having seen United score just 49 league goals this season. And after Van Gaal arrived at the club's Carrington training ground for work on Monday he was relieved of his duties. The 64-year-old remained cordial throughout the rest of the morning but his backroom staff were seen clearing their desks after being sacked along with the man who brought them to the club in 2014. Executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward was also seen on site alongside one of the club's lawyer.

Berlyn:
have anyone come across lalasticlala in person?



is he cute? humble? nd above all is he Rich





coz i think





i gat crush on him already
okbye!!

this must be a plan to make fp

14. When you remember he told you he was going to “dump her soon”.

13. When he buys you and his main chick the same perfume so he doesn’t smell like another woman.

12. When you ask him where he sees your relationship in the future.

11. When you know he is going to see his main chick.

10. Him, when a stranger calls you guys a lovely couple.

9. How he looks at you when you ask about his girlfriend:

8. When you post a picture of him on
Instagram and he calls you to delete it.

7. When his friends ask if you’re the Nkem he is always talking about but your name is Chioma. Uhm! Actually…

6. When he introduces you to his guys as his friend.

5. When you call him your boyfriend.

4. When you tell him you’re falling for him.

3. How he takes pictures with you:

2. When you go through his phone and see your number saved as ‘Tunde Mechanic’

1. When you go to confront his side chick and find out you’re the side chick.

lalasticlala front page please

13. When someone says “the police is your friend”.

12. When you finally do ‘happy weekend’ for them.

11. Nigerian police and “anything for boys?”