₦airaland Forum

Go to this site and do some reading.

http://www.pcsx2.net/  -------- for ps2

For ps1 i think u need a cd named bleem or Connetix Virtual Game Station (CVGS).

Good Luck.

Which chapter is it? It's been a long time since i played it. Is it the battle of the thrones?

The cassette had started at the beginning of the man's utterance. Someone else had to be there to rewind the tape. I'm I correct kulex2k1  

hey i'm last here

of course, football manager 2007. It's the best football managing game

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it,

Cop: "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"

Blonde: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."

Cop: "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"

Blonde: "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on."

At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.

Cop: "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful."

Blonde: "Oh,  We just got off of highway 275".

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye.

He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.

Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's ass was that eye staring right back at him.

"You know," said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband.
The next day she goes to Mr Biggs and her phone rings, so she answers it.
It was her husband. He says, "How's the new cell phone?"
She replied, "Great, but how did you know I was at Mr Biggs?


How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday!


Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.


A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

lol 

A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; "Why do you have some gray strands in your hair?"
The mother paused and looked at her daughter. "Every time you disobey, I get one strand of gray hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey."
The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. "Mother?" She sweetly asked again.
"Yes?" Her Mother replied. "Why is Grandma's hair all gray?"

this is the remix of Eminem music (the real slim shady)


http://www.jokesgallery.com/joke.php?joke=1297&id=1#

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so

drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed. A few minutes later, through a

drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed.

There should only be four. What's going on?"

"Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there."

The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know."

Obioma Di Tailor was traveling down an Ishan road when his bicycle tire went flat. Fortunately, he was close to a vulcanizer and was able to walk the short distance with said bicycle on his head.

As he approached the vulcanizer's house, he noticed a three-legged goat under the vulcanizer's mango tree. He was rather startled by the sight and tried to push it out of his mind.

When the vulcanizer answered the door, Obioma politely requested assistance with his flat tire. The vulcanizer obliged and as the vulcanizer commenced work, Obioma couldn't keep it in any more. He just had to know about that three-legged goat.

He blurted out, "Nna men, enh, wetin happen to dat goat leg?"

The vulcanizer patiently replied, "Let me tell you about that goat. Two months ago I was changing a tire on a lorry when the jack gave way and the vehicle came crashing down. Fortunately my leg wasn't shattered but I was pinned under the lorry and couldn't free myself. That goat ran to the house and made such a noise that my family came running out to see what was happening. They discovered my plight and feverishly worked to free me. I believe that goat saved my life."

"That's some goat. But it's only got three legs!"

"Let me tell you something about that goat," the vulcanizer again responded. "About four weeks ago, while we were all eating dinner, the house caught fire and was spreading fast. That goat ran to the house and made such a ruckus that we ran out to see what was going on. We saw the fire on the roof and quickly put it out. I believe that goat saved my family from certain disaster."

"That's a remarkable story, sir. But still, that goat only has three legs!"

Again the vulcanizer patiently addressed Obioma's comment. "Let me tell you something about that goat. Just last week me and Di Madam decided we needed a little break from the rigors of farming and vulcanizing. We went to the river for an afternoon swim. The current is a little fast there but we keep our eyes on the children and everybody had a good time.

Well, I am ashamed to admit that we got to talking and forgot to check the youngest Nkiru as she swam in the river. Sure enough, the current caught hold of our little baby Nkiru and began taking her away. That goat began bleating so loudly that we knew danger was certainly nearby. We glanced at the river, saw our sweetheart Nkiru floating down the river, and ran to catch her before she was harmed. Nna, I believe that goat saved our daughter's life."

"En en! Dat is interesting. But eh why di goat get only three legs?"

Obioma, person no dey chop dat kain goat one time now (" Obioma, You just don't eat a goat like that all at once."

Try this site

http://www.slabearkazad.com/sniff/

Two guys were in a restaurant, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a man on lagos bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you N100 he'go jump," said the first guy. "I Bet you N100 he no go jump," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge into the lagoon. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I no go take your money," said the first guy. "I cheat you. Them show d story 4 five o'clock news." "No, no. Take am," said the second guy. "I see the five o'clock news too. I just no think say him go dey foolish enough to jump again!"     

A man standing on a ladder leaning on a 25 storey building was cleaning his window when suddenly his ladder slipped, as he was falling he was able to grab a pipe, so he started screaming and crying God help me ! God plz help me!! God answered him and said"My son do u have faith he me " I have faith , God help me plz .God said again "do u have faith in me"yes i have faith. Then God said if u have faith in me release one of your hands from the pipe you are holding he said HA! But he obeyed and released one of his hands, God asked him for the last time "do you have faith in me" he answered the same way by saying Yes, Then God said if you have faith in me release the second hand.The man got frustrated and said PLz another person help!!!

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Where upon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"   

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."  So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.  He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"   

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."   

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again but for a little longer this time.  He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"   


The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."   


By this time, the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asked the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"   



The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

At the wedding at the valley of Cana, when Jesus turned water to
wine,
some Nigerians were present.
The views:

Yoruba: "O ga o! which kind magic be this one! abeg i no dey o. The guy fit
change person to snake now, these people sha, "

Hausa: "Kai! Megida Yesu, a change am to wine! abeg, a fit change am to
KUNU?!!"

Warri Boyz: "Bros Jay!!! u too MUSH (much)!!! u go fit change am to beer so?
make we
MAYA!!!"

Ibo: ", dis na wine true true o! Nna Jesus, i go MARKET am!!! No worry
about company name o, e go be EMEKA-JESUS & SONS!!!, "

A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.

When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.

When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.

When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Al asked again.

"I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Pineapple Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in surulere Lagos.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look", she said. wetin be your secret for a long happy life ?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day",he said. I also do 5 shots of kai kai a day, a sniff igbo every night, three case of beer a week, eat akara, moi moi, diet etc and never exercise, and do pills on the weekend."
"that's amazing," said the woman," how old you be self ?"

"twenty -six."

There was a psychiatric hospital where mad men were being treated. One day, a doctor decided to take the four patient out for fresh air exercises because they where showing improvements.
When they got outside, he drew a door on a blackboard and told them they are free to go home. Out of the four of the mad men, 3 stood up and ran to the blackboard shouting "We are free, We are free" but one of them sat down and was looking at them.
The doctor then told an assisting health worker that he feels that the guy sitting down is getting more better than the others then he walked up to the patient sitting down and asked him to look at those mad men shouting " We are free, We are free " at the blackboard,
He then replied that "leave them alone, they don't know that the key to the door is with me"
Then "Who Is The Real Mad Man?

really funny!   

three brothers went to an island where a babalawo said they could go to get their fortunes and were forbidden to talk to each other. The following conversation took place:
1st one said: do u remember that the babalawo said we shouldn't talk to each other.
2nd one said: yes i remember but you've talked already ha ha ha ,
3rd one said: thank God i didn't talk.   

One day, a guy was walking down the road when he suddenly saw shit in his front. He stopped right on his tracks and look at it and said "This looks like shit!" He then bent down to pick the shit up. He smelt it and said "This smells like shit!" He felt it in his hands and said "This feels like shit!". He then tasted it and said "This tastes like shit!"

Then he threw it away and said "Thank God say I no match am!"

there was a test in germany on who could fly a newly designed plane, an American,German and a Nigerian were invited first they were asked who could start the plane the American entered he couldn't, same with the German and the Nigerian entered brought out a booklet (expo or (key points)) from his trouser and followed the instructions soon he started it. He was applauded. Now who could move the plane same thing happened he used his same trick when others couldn't he was congratulated now they were asked who could fly the plane ,the American and German couldn't, the Nigerian entered with confidence soon he flew it now it was time 2 land ,he opened to the last page he saw, "how to land a plane to be continued in the next edition.''

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of
the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes
out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : ", And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in his hand."

During a sunday service, a pastor suggested to solve all the problems husbands normally have with their wives. He said to the men "if you know your wife commands you at home move to my left with your wife, but to my right if you command your wife."
All the men, looking very hefty with big muscles moved to the left only a very thin man who has a very muscular wife moved to the right. As usual everyone was surprised. Then the pastor asked " o thin man how do you manage to control your wife". The thin man answered " o pastor is my wife that said i should move to your right."