₦airaland Forum

BREAKING NEWS:SOME LECTURERS FROM A
UNIVERSITY OF JOS, FACULTY OF ENGINEERING
BOARDED A PLANE. WHEN THE PLANE WAS READY TO
TAKE-OFF, THE PILOT SAID......"WELCOME ON BOARD
LADIES & GENTLEMEN. MAY I PLEASE INFORM YOU
THAT THIS PLANE WAS MANUFACTURED BY YOUR STUDENTS IN THE UNIVERSITY(UNIVERSITY OF JOS)
AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME OF FLYING".IMMEDIA
TELY THEY HEARD THAT, EVERYONE RAN OUT OF THE
PLANE EXCEPT ONE LECTURER CHRIS OTUPO, WHO SAT COMFORTABLY EATING FISH. PEOPLE WERE SURPRISED AND WENT TO HIS SEAT TO ASK HIM WHY HE DID NOT RUN OUT OF THE PLANE LIKE OTHERS?HE SMILED AND REPLIED..."THERE IS NO NEED TO RUN OUT BECAUSE IF IT IS TRUE THAT THIS PLANE WAS MADE BY OUR STUDENTS, THEN WITH WHAT WE TAUGHT THEM, AM VERY SURE THE PLANE WILL NOT EVEN MOVE".

dmcdad:
Your head is very correct. This is what I always try to let people know.

How would I be more attached to my mom when my wife would happen to be the flesh of my flesh, the bone of my bones and my too-say-woot-say? How possible is it that I am more attached to my mom when even the Bible says 'two come together to become one'?

Sometimes people forget the essence of marriage that they prioritize their mom over their wife. Given, there is nothing like a mother (a good one for that matter). The thing every man owes their mother is to take care of her. Of course no one wants to let her suffer till death especially when the man can be of help. And the last I checked, this doesn't mean the mother owns him. That is doing what should be done.

For me it's not even a debate. In marriage it is said that 1 + 1 = 1. This translates to my wife and I being one body. If this is true as it were, then where is the argument about mother having a higher hierarchy coming from?

Or is there any man out there still taking decisions based on what their mom wants? Such boys men should be brought out and spanked like there is no tomorrow. If you wanna make decisions (especially family ones) you talk to your wife and not your mother. Of course there are certain issues or times that would require a motherly advice, but that doesn't happen often.

No one should tell her me how their mother suffered blah blah blah. No one is saying you shouldn't help your mother. No one is saying you can't spoil her with whatever you wish, as long as you have the resources. My mom knows me very well. As my mother, I would gladly take her anywhere to make her feel alright when the time is right. I will give her everything she desires when the time is right because she has earned it. Yet, I am a man of myself. I always ring this to her hearing that, the only thing I owe her is to make sure that she is comfortable with life. Any other thing is out of reach. My wife takes your place as the woman of my life.

For me I think it's simple. Everyone knows where they belong.

Am @ ur syd jooooooor

Mindfulness:
I belong to my spouse is very different from my spouse owns me, isn't it?

Married or not, I am a free human being and so is my spouse and this is why we respect and appreciate each other so much because we don't take each other for granted.

9ice one der

Mindfulness:
NOBODY!

U bad o so if u marry nw u belong to nobody?

northvietnam:
his children owns him shimple

How? Explain

sissylucy:
lmao...no Naija pikin fit try this one
The parents no go even bother demselves gan,when he waka finish he go come bk..
"Agaracha must come bk"

Indeed

WHO REALLY OWNS A MAN? HIS MOTHER OR WIFE?
ARGUMENT:
{Mother} - My son must obey me unless he didn't suck my breasts for 1yr.
{Wife} - He sucks mine now and sucked it for more than 5yrs and is still sucking.
(Mother} - I carried him for nine months.
{Wife} - He was only 3.5kg then, so what's the big deal? I carry him every night and he is 85kg now.
{Mother} - He passed between my legs with pains.
{Wife} - Hahaha, he only passed there once, he stays between my legs like everyday and I scream with pains each night.
Please WHO OWNS A MAN?
Tell us your answer.

example :

I think they should BAN kissing by newly married couple in front of the congregation, for the sake of the children. What do you think? Take a look @ d pic below Lalasi please do the needful

PLS READ
A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was
astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and
everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ’Dad….. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and, with trembling hands, read the letter…
“Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m wr iting you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid scene with Mum and you. I’ve
been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so
nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua.
Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are
worse things in life than my school result that’s on
the kitchen table!!!!!!
What will u call this kid? And if u were the dad what will u do?

Dad: my daughter returns home after 30
years.
Dad: (Angry) Where the hell have you been
all these years?
Girl: I was working as a prostitute in Abuja.
Dad: What! Get out of my house you wore, i don't want to see your face again do you
understand?
Girl: ( crying ) Before i go dad, i came to give
you 10million naira cheque, and here is
4million naira for my brother. I have bought
a very big house in UK for you with everything in it, including a Faerrari and
Buggati. Bye dad.
Dad: wait first, What kind of work did you
say you're doing?
Girl ( crying ) A prostitute dat!
Dad: Come and give daddy a hug, i thought you said you were a PROSECUTOR.

Back in d days dat xxprince does not like brushing is teeth

fp things abed mod for peeps to learn

5 THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO..
There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. . Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:
FIRST: Emergency The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112.
If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialled even if the keypad is locked. Try it out...
SECOND: Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday.
Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone.
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock.
Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other ' remote ' for your car, you can unlock the
doors (or the trunk)...
Editor ' s Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a mobile phone! THIRD: Hidden Battery Power Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your mobile will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery.
This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time. FOURTH: How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone? To check your Mobile phone ' s serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset..
Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally
useless.
You probably won ' t get your phone back, but at
least you know that whoever stole it can ' t use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no
point in people stealing mobile phones. FIFTH : ATM - PIN Number Reversal - Good to Know
If you should ever be forced by a robber to
withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can
notify the police by entering your PIN # in reverse.
For example, if your pin number is 1234,
then you would put in 4321. The ATM system recognizes that your PIN number is
backwards from the ATM card you placed in the
machine. The machine will still give you the money
you requested, but unknown to the robber, the
police will be immediately dispatched to the
location. This information was recently broadcast on CTV by
Crime Stoppers however it is seldom used because
people just don't know about it...... Please pass this
along to everyone.
This is the kind of information people don't mind
receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends.

Give ur mum a grade!! Be honest plz A1 B2 B3 C4 C5 C6 D7 E8 F9

PLEAS FELLOW NAIRALANDERS, I HEARD SOMETHING THIS EVENING BUT I DONT KNOW IF IT'S THE TRUTH. AM HERE TO CONFIRM THE TRUTH.
IS IT TRUE THAT FAMOUS NIGERIAN ACTOR: ODUNLADE ADEKOLA IS DEAD?.
PLEASE I NEED AN ANSWER. CORRECT ONE

crosss indeed

My new shoe from china Guyz hw mny of u will rock it?

Lmao.
Ekaitte went to the store to buy a parrot trained in
the USA and asks the sales person;
"What's so special about this parrot ?"
Sales person
says: "This parrot is a genius and can answer any
question" Ekaitte asks the parrot;
"How do I look?"
The parrot replies;
"You look like a fuckin slut?" Ekaitte gets pissed off and tells the sales person that its a very rude parrot and she cannot buy it despite it was trained in the USA.
The sales person tells Ekaitte to wait for 2 mins.
The sales person takes the parrot to the back of the store and shoves the parrot into a bucket of water and when he pulls the parrot out he says; "if you disrespect the lady out there again i'll soak you back in water" and takes the parrot back to the store. Th sales person apologized to Ekaitte and says she can ask the parrot another question.
Ekaitte: "If I come home with one man what would you think?"
Parrot: "He's your husband
Ekaitte: "Two men?"
Parrot: "Your husband and his brother"
Ekaitte: "Three men?" Parrot: "Your husband, his brother and your brother"
Ekaitte: "Four men?" At this time the Parrot
turns to the Sales person and says:
"Bring back the bleeping bucket of water I already told you she's a slut!!!

benedictnsi:
It's a pity you had to die........ Buh thank God for Olamide who have been a kinda replacement.

olamide resemble Da'grin o

guys in which part of Nigeria will you see this A. North B. South C. East D. West

BIKE MAN: Where are you going to?
PROSTITUTE: I’m going to the mortuary.
BIKE MAN: Sorry it’s late, I can’t drop you
there except you pay me 3000 naira.
PROSTITUTE: No problem, when we get
there, you’ll be paid. When they got to the mortuary, the prostitute said, “Wait here a second, let me go get you the money.”
When the man waited for an hour without
seeing the prostitute, he decided to go in
search of her. He pushed open the gate of the mortuary a little bit, took some steps in,
before noticing someone, who appeared to
be the mortuary attendant, lounging around:
ATTENDANT: How can I help you sir?
BIKE MAN: I gave a lady a ride to this place, she asked me to wait for her to go inside
and get the money for the ride, but didn’t
come back.
ATTENDANT: No one entered here! So I
don’t know what you are talking about.
The bike man insisted and decided to stay and wait for the lady. The attendant
thought for a while and asked him to follow
him into the mortuary room. When they got there:
ATTENDANT: (He picks up a stick beside him, and points it towards the bodies) If you know you entered a bike and didn’t pay,quickly raise up your hand and bring it out or else I will beat all of you with this stick!Quickly, one of the dead bodies raised up her hand and threw the money at the bike rider. If you were the bike man, what will you do?Help me out!!

In which part of Nigeria Can you find this...... A=Hausa B=igbo C=yoruba

All About Education, All About Success, All About You.
The True meaning of ' Sorry, No
Admission is given yet !!
I have come across many question on this website recently and some candidate are confuse whenever they visit jamb or the school website to check their admission status. everytime you check your admission status, you keep on getting the same reply ( Sorry, No Admission is given yet !! ) Don't be surprise when you recheck many time and still see the same thing. The message will be change to congratulation you have been offered admission as soon as the school offer you admission to any of the available department. What you can do when you see '' Sorry, No Admission is given yet !! Take a little time and wait for your school to release another set of admission ( 2nd or 3rd batch) and as soon as you confirm another admission list is out you should check your admission status .

5. Overeating Eating foods that the body does not need causes an
accumulation of residual substances in the form of
fats and hardening of the cerebral arteries, which
impact its correct functioning. Simple put,too much
food damage the brain.

6. Alcohol Alcohol could ruin ll the organs, primarily the
nervous system, the liver, and the heart. It impacts
the chemical reactions that take place in the brain.
Alcoholism also kills neurons and reduces the
speed with which nerve impulses are transmitted.

7. Violent reactions or premature stress Scanning of a human brain by X-rays Stress causes several reactions to the nervous
system, some of which reduce mental capacity and
also increase the risk of suffering from a stroke and
heart attacks.

8. Covering your head while sleeping Sleeping with your head covered increases the
concentration of carbon dioxide and reduces the
amount of oxygen, which could cause harmful
effects on the brain.

9. Forcing the brain during an illness Working or studying a lot while ill is damaging
because the body’s energy is being re-routed from
the healing. Forcing the brain during this period
could reduce the body’s efficacy, as well as weaken
the immune system even more. This facilitates the
appearance of even more types of illnesses.

10. Lack of mental stimuli and exercise There’s nothing quite like thinking, having
intelligent conversations, reading a book, or
working through a word search to stimulate your
brain: it increases learning capacity and memory, as
well as reaction time to stimuli.

11. More Tips
Take care of your brain by adopting a healthy
lifestyle:
¤Eat appropriately, incorporating delicious fruits
and vegetables that will stimulate brain activity.
Ingesting fish rich in omega 3 fatty acids is also
recommendable, as these fats promote
communications between neurons.
¤Drink 3 or 4 cups of tea or small cups of coffee a
day to improve your short term and long term
memory and to reduce your risk of suffering
from Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases. ¤Exercise regularly.
¤ Avoid drugs, tobacco, and alcohol.
¤Sleep as much as necessary.
¤Fill yourself with positive thoughts.

I have talked about Habits That Can Damage Your Liver and Habits That Can Make You Get Fat in my previous articles. I hope you all found it very
educative. They are really bad habits and I believe
you guys are beginning to do away with them. It’s
been widely claimed that it takes 30 days to form a
habit, but much longer to rid ourselves of one.
Sometimes we aren’t even aware that some everyday things that we do (or in some cases
don’t), can actively affect our brain and cause long
term effects. The fact is that certain habits can
slowly degrade and degenerate your brain power,
removing you from your mental giant position to a
mental midget. Everything you do influences your body in a certain
way, and what’s more, certain activities prevent
normal brain functioning and even damage its
structure. Now imagine that you repeat these
actions daily for years and years. Can you guess
what happens? Your own habits are killing your brain! But don’t worry, there’s still time. Changing
your lifestyle can guarantee both brain and bodily
health. In this article, I am going to talk about these
terrible daily habits that damage the brain. Your brain is an extremely complex and delicate
organ that takes direct or indirect action in all
bodily processes. It regulates homeostatic
functions like heartbeats, fluid balance, blood
pressure, hormonal balance and body temperature.
It is responsible for movement, cognition, learning, memory, human emotions, and therefore,
overall health. According to numerous scientific
studies the way in which one lives ones life could
damage brain cells over short or long term periods,
leading to the development of degenerative
diseases and several other conditions. On the other hand, doing positive activities, like eating a
balanced diet and physical exercise, activates the
brain and makes it healthy once again.



Habits that Damage the Brain include:
1. Skipping Your breakfast Breakfast the most important meal of the day
because it noticeably influences your performance,
endurance, and emotional situation. During the
first few hours of the day, the brain allots nutrients
to continue “managing” the physiological
processes after the long fast it has been subjected to. If you don’t supply it with energy, it will need to
use reserves and it will have to make an extra effort
to maintain correct functioning. A lack of breakfast
could cause general lack of energy, loss of
concentration and memory, bad moods, poor
physical and intellectual performance. Eat a substantial and healthy breakfast.

2. Smoking Regularly It has been a worldwide problem causing various
types of diseases. Smoking is a bad habit and you
all know that. The terrible habit of smoking
considerably reduces brain matter as well we
oxygen supply to the brain. It has been proven to
promote the appearance of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s disease. Also, heterocyclic
amines that are released during cigarette
combustion interfere with correct DNA
reproduction, leading to mutations that cause
cancerous cells. Yes It can lead to brain cancer.

3. Eating Too Much Sugar The predominance of refined sugars, white flour,
fried food, and packaged food in the diet while also
lacking sufficient amounts of vegetables, fruits and
fiber, promotes an accumulation of harmful
substances in the body. This increases the
development of tumors, it warps immune system functioning, causes malnutrition and interferes with
neurological development.

4. Not sleeping enough You need 8 hours of sleep a night in order for your
brain to rest, for metabolic processes to properly
take place with the resulting energy produced, as
well as for cellular renovation. Depriving oneself of
sleep accelerates the death of brain cells over short
term, and will keep you tired and in a bad mood all day.

How To Detect An Hidden Camera In A Room. When you stay in an hotel, how do you know there is no room pinhole camera? When you travel or take a business trip, and
stay in a hotel or a guest house or room you
could unknowingly be photographed. You can use this method to check your room: When you enter into the room, turn off the
lights, and close the curtains, open your phone
camera, do not turn the flash light on.Turn
around the room with your cell phone. When a red dot is found, that means that a
hidden web camera is installed. If no red dots,
the
room is ok. Please forward this message to your friends
who travels alot or take business trips. Best
wishes to you (Brainnews Nigeria).

Guys 1word to junior abeg
Teacher:Junior why did you brought ur mumy's
pussycat to school today?
Junior:because i over had my dad telling my mum
dat he's going to eat and enjoy her pussy once
junior leaves 4 school today,and i really love dat my mums pussycat so much,so i didn't want my dad to
eat it.

Photo of the Day!: The reason why photographer have to ask “Ready”

Joke Of The Day:- Nigerian Teacher Teaching In
China
Nigeria teacher was sent to China to teach.
The first day he entered class, he began by roll-
calling. He said “Sheng.” A student said ”present.
”He called the second name, “Chu muon” Another student said ”present.”Suddenly, he sneezed,
”hatchia” one student seated at the corner stood
up and said, ”present.
”He then exclaimed and said, ”hmmmm…”allthe
students shouted ”absent.”He got confused and
said, ”chai…” three students stood up and said, ”which of us sir?” The teacher became more
confused and he asked, ”what is wrong?” A
student stood up and said, ”sir, I’m not wrong,
I’mcalled Wong.”The teacher now laughed and
said, ”hahaha ”..
A girl said. ” Present sir.”The teacher fainted.