₦airaland Forum

I think everyone has their own threshold, I am a married woman and I am sorry but I refuse to accept that cheating is in a mans nature and if my husband cheats I need to look the other way. To each their own

Omo if you go and work for Kaymu you are on your own o!!! They hire and fire anyhow......sometimes they even call back some of the people they fired initially. Confused idiots. How can you run an online company for 3 years without making any commission. Its not the place to be abeg

Lol your story is funny because it reminds me of my marriage. I have been married for 3 years and my husband spent the first 2 years doing exactly what your husband is doing. I fought him, I nagged him, I begged him, I reasoned with him, I got elderly people to talk to him but nothing happened. I even started hating his so called friends. Until I started to pray about my marriage and I prayed that God distance him from unfriendly friends and all of a sudden like magic in the man stopped going out. If he is not at work he is at home. I was very surprised in fact a friend of mine that I used to complain to was also shocked because every time he asked me about my husband I will say he is at home. Even when we are fighting he won't go anywhere except if one of his friends has an event. So madam Pls pray, trust me I know how it feels. It feels as if his friends are more important than you and he has misplaced priorities. These men can be very foolish that's why you need to pray for them. It is well

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My advice to OP is if he is remorseful and he is ready to tell you the truth pls forgive him and take him back if not abeg do what you have to do

kaboninc:
From your mother's pu**y. You must have some unscrewed nuts in your head to refer to me like that.

A woman's pain is in not having to experience child birth or birth her own child.

This is a man's world. His pride comes before his wife and that's why a king can come to know a slave or slut or mistress just to ensure his ancestry survives.

When next you're responding, please don't talk as a child!

Sadly you are right but I always tell my husband (when we have issues and i think his ego is in the way) to know when to put it aside and face whats on ground

kaboninc:
That's what you believe and that's what you console yourself with.

Meanwhile, always know that the Nkechi next door can give to your husband in tens of folds what you couldn't give him.

Its a free world o let him go to Nkechi next door..........abeg I cannot sacrifice my sanity for anyone, we all have our thresholds Trust is very very very important to me because if he cant stick by me at my lowest point then whats the point of marriage and the vows we took. Some people can stay in that situation and be happy or find some form of happiness and some people can't. We are all different human beings. Thats my point of view

Westendel:
my people we just finish the meeting.A lot has happened, a lot has been said, I don't know whom to believe again. Even with the evidence is now there words against mine.

what a world!!!!

Sweetie please ignore these people that are saying you didn't listen to advice, honestly you are in the best position to advice yourself.......(If na me one of the options I would have considered is to burn the house down while the 2 of them are still in it). I am also TTC and my husband has told me before that if I am doubting his capability he would prove to me that he can father a child (this is a man who has low sperm count and high mortility rate, he later apologised but one does not forget a statement like that). My point is you feel helpless, if you can wave a magic wand and a child would appear you would. But the truth is does it justify his actions? the answer is no because marriage is for better for worse. If it was him that had issues, and you slept with his brother would he like it

Anyway my question to you is WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW? WHAT IS YOUR HUSBAND SAYING NOW? WHAT IS YOUR SISTER SAYING NOW? WHAT DID YOUR FOLKS SAY ABOUT ALL OF THIS?

But to be honest with you o Madam the advice I gave you is the ideal o! I no go fit stay that house if na me o! If dem fit do that kain thing behind my back dem fit kill me. If na me I for don waka!!! When my husband comes back to his senses he knows where to find me! Because if i stay i fit kill person

When I read that message to be honest it brought tears to my eyes. What is 5 years there are couples that have waited longer and the man didn't sleep with his wife's sister. Ahn Ahn!!!!! Even if he wanted the sister to have kids on behalf of his wife with medicine today it can be done without him sleeping with the girl na, besides the girl is just 19, what about her future, does she not want to get married and have kids too? The truth of the matter is whether they denied it or accepted it or whatever, they had sex! it is obvious from the messages. The question is what are you going to do about it? This is the worst form of betrayal ever!!!!!!!!!!!! A part of me wants you to back your bags and leave and a small voice in my heads says you should sit down and just be looking? Don't say anything to either of them again. Treat your husband the way you normally treat him and same with your sister. I understand he is looking for a child but thats not the way to go about it abeg not with your own sister and to be honest even if you had kids, he would still sleep with her, he is just using that as an excuse. Plus its not as if its your fault its God that gives children. But for God's sake DO NOT APOLOGIZE. But know that you do not have a sister again and you may or may not have a husband depending on how he is taking this that is if he is apologetic or not. Another thing I would say is from my experience with men they will try to turn it around and piss you off to make you do or say something that people will blame you for no matter what he does or says do not react. I'm so sorry you are going through this

One more thing I also think your mother in law was doing you a favor by not interfering. As a wife you of all people should be able to influence and change your husbands mind you shouldn't need other people to do that. It doesnt happen over night, you need to pray to God for that and also study the best way and time to present issues to him

nickibarb:
looks like my desire to play the part of perfect wife and mother backfired, i felt like if someone (like maybe MIL) happens to hear that I left my politician husband home alone with a 3 month old baby in the middle of election season, they might think I consider my career as being more important than my kids. maybe caring about what people might think is the cause of the whole drama

I think there are underlying issues here i.e. you do not trust your husbands judgement. I would think that as a grown man if he had to leave he would either a) Take them with him if he can b) cancel any engagement c) drop them off at his mom's or d) drop them off with a trusted family friend or your parents. Its actually a bit annoying and if i were your husband i would be upset to (does not justify him pushing you though) because by calling his mom you are telling him he is not capable of taking care of the children he brought into this world with you, that is a serious bruise to his ego! When I was a child my dad used to take care of me when my mom would travel for weeks..........everything from bathing to feeding to taking me to day care.....................So the question is, why dont you think your husband is capable? A lot of women would be happy if their husbands told them don't worry go and do your exams I will sort out the kids

So I am not sure why you felt the need to drag your mother in law into this. Your husband who is an adult assured you he will take care of his kids which is the right thing to do and I would think you would be happy with this because it means they would bond afterall its just for 1 day. If it was for 1 month then I would see why you would be worried. Unless you dont trust him to take care of his own kids. I dont think anyone would accuse you of abandoning them. I think this matter could have been avoided totally

Very good! Please keep us posted. We will keep you in our prayers! God be with you and your little one

All these excuses its like it hasn't registered to you what is at stake. If you leave and go to a friend's place in another state who will see you. Madam leave now while you have the upper hand if you wait till your baby is weaned there is nothing stopping them from kicking you out or even getting police to arrest you

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Yes you can! My mom did hers for all her kids

Ok good, I am glad your mom is there please do not under any circumstance let her leave that house without you. But wait o must you wait for vaccination money can't you leave before then, and then your parents help you sort out the vaccination money? Or you borrow from a friend. You already feel your inlaws are up to something please leave ASAP abeg!

My 2 cents

Unless the mother has other reasons, I don't think that's a good enough reason to tell her son not to marry the girl it's petty as far as I am concerned if she was offended she should have cautioned the girl the way she would caution her own daughter and say my dear things are not done that way. As for me I find it difficult to eat outside my home. The first time I met my inlaws I ate there only because my mother inlaw called me to ask me what I wanted to eat but after that time the only time I eat there is when I cook or a caterer cooks because I do not like my mother in laws cooking but instead of saying no I opt for fruits instead. Then Pls why is the girl spending the night there? That's something my folks will never allow

the fact that her husband insults her has nothing to do with whether she works or not I know that bc i am speaking from experience. My husband used to do the same and I work and I earn as much as he does. I cautioned him several times, I even insulted him back a few times but it wasn't until I got someone older who he respected to let him know that it is wrong that he stopped

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