Your view of marriage is incorrect neither me nor my husband are wicked. Both my parents aren’t wicked either

oyetpel:
I cried as i am reading this story, i thought my problems are huge but this is just something else.

I pray you find s good solution to yours.


As i have learnt so far in marriages there are two things involved; either the man is wicked and the woman is gentle or the man is gentle and the woman is wicked.

My mom's younger brother was the gentle type and his wife destroyed his marriage, he had to sell his house and now he is a tenant.

Your husband is the wicked one, so my advice is forget getting anything from him, seek divorce and go your way and take care of your kids alone. This was the advice given to my mom's brother but he kept saying she will turn a new leaf till his marriage collapse. His 19 years old 1st daughter married a man that already has 3 wives and suffering, his 24 years old daughter has had 3 abortions.

So please leave, but expect anything from him, and its best if you can change your location to start a new life.

I am still a depressed young man struggling with his own problems.

holocron:


So what should she do? Abandon her nest to her competitors, or rein in her man? As today is a sunday, let us be guided by the scriptures:

Romans 12:21 "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good"

@OP, For those recommending divorce, remember that those cheating girlfriends will be too happy to step into the shoes you seem to find so uncomfortable. Please endure. Keep your home for your children's sake. Except u are not in Naija, divorce a last resort only to be taken at risk to life ( not just ordinary slaps, slaps never killed anyone). You hid a man's car keys stopping him from going to work, are you suprised to receive slaps? The OP mother is a very wise woman for being around and not interfering in husband and wife matter. Your difficulties are just a brief phase due to your condition, and also your husband's inexperience. Teething problems COMMON to all marriages.

What sort of advice is this. He beat her and threatened to kill her baby. Are you kidding me. This man does not love her. He saw someone he could subdue and rule over which is why he married her. He married her because he knows no one would fight for her. A man that loves his wife won’t cheat like that neither will he prevent her from succeeding in her business. He should be supportive and know that her success is his success. He is not a caring husband he is an animal.

Don’t say anything again let him go to his sisters place if he can’t respect your home too bad.

This is a money problem
Madam pls get someone to run the laundry business and go back to work so you can sort your child out and stand on your own 2 feet

Please I need advise. My husbands test results came out and it’s really bad. He has no motility and his sperm count is about 100k. I also did tests my Hsg was ok although I’ve always had pcos but with metformin I’ve been ovulating. I don’t want to go down the ivf route again because the last time it was really stressful. Is there anything he can take? My parents are suggesting we use a sperm donor but I’m not sure I want that, though I’m open to adoption but he is not

ubunja:

Diva im with my brother in everything.if my brother strays then i support him with his new female.i go with my brother in every choice he makes, thats my duty.
the kids dont matter.my brother is all that matters.
if a woman feels disrespected by my brother then she must just divorce him.but she must not expect my sympathy coz that will divide me and my brother.and i will NEVER allow that.

So if you see your brother doing something wrong you won’t call him aside and advice him? You would support his wrong doing? If he kills his wife you will support abi? Interesting

Lol madam this write up reminds me of when I first got married to my Husband. I think reality hasn’t dawned on your husband that he is married and he can’t just get up and go as he pleases. I’m sure he still has single friends. I used to see msgs on my husbands phone where he would be telling women that they are pretty blah blah! Sometimes he won’t come home to eat and would insist I bring it to his friends house. What rubbish. Anyway I spoke to him about it he will change for sometime and continue again. I kept on praying for him and also changing it for him every now and then and he changed by himself. Took 3 years but he changed. Now I have to beg him to leave the house. Follows me about like a puppy

I had a dream 2 days ago and it has been bothering me. I dreamt that one of my teeth was loose, I tried to pull it out and it wouldn’t come out. It was hanging by a long string of flesh. What does this mean please?

Erm I’m not sure what the problem is here. It’s her money she worked for it she can do what she likes with it

Good evening. I had a dream 2 days ago and it has been bothering me. I dreamt that one of my teeth was loose, I tried to pull it out and it wouldn’t come out. It was hanging by a long string of flesh. What does this mean please?

Please what's the point of this post? If a woman hires a houseboy would you advise the man to stay at home so the boy doesn't take over his duties as a husband. If a woman cheats it's her fault if a man cheats it's her fault if the children are good it's bc of the woman if they are bad it's because of the woman. So much responsibility on one person. How about teaching the men to be more supportive and exhibit self control

My problem with people saying that she should pray is that by doing that, the man is having his fun and you have communicated to him that there are no repercussions for his actions. Dont get me wrong o prayer is good and she should definitely pray but there should be repercussions, i dont think my husband in his right mind will tell me he doesnt owe me fidelity because i will ask why he said those words in front of God and man. I take my vows very seriously and if the other person doesnt want to take them seriously then why are we married? Life is too short and tomorrow isnt guaranteed for anyone to spend morning afternoon and night on a man that knows his right from wrong but still decides to do the wrong thing. Thats why alot of women become very bitter and angry its because of what the men put them through. Who wants that? In as much as i hate divorce, i cannot stay with an unremorseful cheating partner or a wife beater, i cant and i wont. But to each their own

I am going to give you advice from my own experience. First of all everyone saying that you shouldn't check your husbands phone, the truth is that when something is wrong you will know whether you check or not. Anyway I caught my husband a few years ago and i informed me of my discovery. His first instinct was to lie and i quickly let him know that I do not believe him and he should try again. Then he goes oh well it was because we were having issues, at that point i packed my bags and said i was leaving that such behaviour is totally unacceptable to me and I wont stand for it and when his parents ask I will tell them what he has done. Then he started begging and apologising. What I'm I trying to say, you need to set the tone early on in terms of what you will accept and what you will not accept. Before we married he told me he cannot forgive infidelity, so something that you can't forgive why would you dish it out to someone else. Madam you need to tell your husband that it is unacceptable and there are consequences for his actions

What kind of useless post is this. So having a baby mama is now the right thing to do abi? Pls can someone delete this thread

You guys should do your own research. Leakage after sex is totally normal

climax01:

My dear brother, pls, permit me to go spiritual now, the thing is did u marry her because u feel like u like her or God told u she's the right person for you?
If God had told you she's, then u can still go back to him, as long as you are sure of his distinctive leading.
Beside, u can't forsake her and marry another lady as long as she's still alive ( according to the Apostle Paul doctrine).
Just carry your cross and keep praying to God for a change of hearth and also go for counselling.
My earnest prayer for you is that the good lord visit your home.

This is the best advice ever! Oga in all of this have you prayed? Have you prayed for God to touch your wife? If it was a woman they would advice her to pray. So please go and pray

legendsmother:

Beloved thanks am now calm dh called me at night and was begging and apologising I didn't even know how we talked on phone almost 1hour he was just begging me DAT after he said it he realised he wasn't right for him to do tell me such in d manner in which he did

@Fumbaby tanks I appreciate I reject it oooo amen.



NNE God bless u for Me tanks so much ur post lifted Mr

@mamitwins beloved I hear u I just cudnt hold myself at DAT moment dh later apologized and he's even bern worried about me cuz I easily slip into depression recently, I hate DAT he feels so worried now when he wud b away for two weeks. God is in control

@enkay2016 thanks I have even forgiven my father inlaw for doing that today I got my praise on I just finished cooking and I will go drop food at their house to indirectly tell him that what ever he does my home will still have enough love to share DAT seed of hatred him and his pastor wanted to plant God has destroyed it

@purelady tanks beloved I have wiped my tears

Don't mind them. Always so quick to blame the woman. Which kain yeye evil spirit. All the prayers you've been praying evil spirit cannot stay where the spirit of God is. Too many fake pastors. That's how one pastor told my friend during family prayer in her inlaws house that it's because she did abortion. Meanwhile the man married her as a virgin. If you see the way her husband abused the man ehn! He almost beat him sef and the husband warned the mother to stay clear of his marriage

Madam pray about it and ask God to guide you. Pray without any idle in your heart and watch God move

very useless advice

Naijaklef:
Marriage don't just crash! Ur husband wld nt just wake up one morning to beat u.

Ask urself this question,
Wat changed in my marriage?
Why do u think he behaves to u d way he does now.

D issue of cheating has a root cause. Find it.
Human being tend to seek for happiness in things we do. As long as u dont give him dat happiness, he turns to cheating which he believes
Would make him happy. These things are done unconsciously!

So make good use of the break to ponder over the good tymes and bad times. Wat actually made the bad times BAD and wat made the good times GOOD.
Build on the thing dat made it good.

My advice,
Please go back to ur husband. Try to not to do things dat wld make u get beaten.
U can have a heart to heart talk but do not challenge him, nag e.t.c.
Do things dat wld make him happy. Forget about the cheating for now. A man wld stop cheating, only wen he decides. U can't forcefully stop him!

Men tend to do more for their wives wen they are happy!

And don't forget to pray!

Good luck!

OP pls do not take this advice

Xcelinteriors:

Amen. The day I confronted his mistress was the worst day of my life. She told me to come and have the second baby and let her see. Can you imagine, me i don leave them o. My son is my husband and my world

Babe sorry for what you are going through but you shouldn't have faced the mistress. Your issue is with your husband not her. To be honest I don't think he is cheating bc he wants another child he is cheating bc he knows he can get away with it so pls stop blaming yourself. This one that the mistress is saying she wants to see how you will give birth are you sure she is not behind your delay? Anyway keep praying to God and make sure you have your own money bc every woman needs vex money to walk out at any time. God knows if not for the fact that my inlaws know I can stand on my own 2 feet and my family is standing right behind me I can't imagine what my mother in law would have Done. It is well and pls don't forget it is not your fault he is cheating

I'm not sure what the issue is? If they start asking you will say they are putting you under pressure. They are probably trying to reach sensitive and patient. I've been married 5 years and my inlaws have never asked me either all the do is pray about it. Madam don't go looking for issues where there are no issues. If my brothers wife were in the same position I won't ask anything either

To be honest I wouldn't want to live with my inlaws either. He should look for a relative that can come and stay with them or hire a care taker

FruitfulRay:


My sister, please don't use those stuff, you deciding not to use it, its faith, and God will surely arise for you in this season

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement, I tell you the devil really tried it with me saying that I should just take it that all this wahala is too much, that i should just take it and call it a day. But I thank God for his grace to say no, because it hasn't been easy but I know my answer is right by the corner

Babe its not worth your life abeg. Before deciding on IVF, have you and your husband gone to do your medical check up? IVF is not only for those who have messed up fallopian tubes etc. sometimes couples with unexplained infertility are adviced to go the IVF route and it doesnt mean it will work. Usually the first step is to see a gyne and you would be placed on fertility drugs such as clomid etc for about 6 months, if it doesnt work they might ask you to check your tubes, if your tubes are blocked then IVF would be recommended, if your tubes are ok then you can do IUI, its way cheaper than IVF. IF that doesnt work then maybe go the IVF route. But like i said it doesnt mean it would work. Besides sometimes a simple thing as losing weight and changing ones lifestyle could work i.e. if you or your husband drinks or smokes you may have to stop it. But since he said he is no longer interested, dust yourself off and dont worry about it. Maybe someone else has gotten pregnant for him or he is just tired

Omojudy:

How did it now go with hubby and the stuff? In my former marriage I gave too much chance for things to be brought to me. Now I am stronger. No be quarrel, I throw what I don't want and work on hubby being more spiritual. I remind him and encourage him when I see he is reducing his mid night prayers as my hubby does that more than me. Then support his church interests, that helps me to know who he respects in church to take matter to when he is straying. Moreover na monitoring his prayers life helped me know when he was began straying. So my point be, you can not work on your faith alone, find the loving way to nudge him to a personal knowledge.

My sister my husband has forgotten it o! Person that does not remember to take medicine. I've prayed to God to make him forget. I've hidden it where he can't find it

folash:

From all indications, these things appear diabolical, and I would advise you desist from using them as it goes against the Christian faith, but I think you need to apply a lot of wisdom in dealing with this because of your mil that is involved.
I would advise you not to throw the items away immediately but gradually just in case she comes and tells you to show her the remaining items, but keep them far away from where hubby can have access to them.
In case hubby asks you about the usage of the items, lovingly tell him the reasons why you have decided not to use them, and if possible you can dig out scriptures for support. If he insists on using them, because we all know how men can be when it comes to issues with their mum, don't pick up a quarrel with him over it but prayerfully commit everything to God's hands and He would surely direct your path.
Baby dust to you

Thank you for the advice I appreciate it

pweetymii:

Hmm,this is a very dicey situation.The bible says wisdom is a principal thing that we should get it with understanding.First of all,mama should have spoken to you both about it as per one of you should have been able to follow her to the place where she got it from.I for one,i am not against taking herbs,i know mama means well,buh in ttc journey,i don't think anyone can feel the pain more than the two people involved.Be careful with hubby,it is style that you will use to dispose the stuff,mama might come back to check if you used it,so,i will advice you dispose it off in bits,if there is any in bottle,you pour in the drain little by little till it remains small,then keep the bottle incase she really comes back to check.I have a feeling she will come back to accuse you of not using it,then you bring out her empty bottle and others and show it to her...as for hubby,if i know men,if you don't give to him,he will forget,then the day he remembers,sweetly tell him you have been using on behalf of him(afterall,pouring it away na on his behalf na)and also do not use anyone of them at all,as in,don't say,i can use the soap,buh cannot drink the water.if you are not using,you are not using.

Thanks for your response. The thing is it's not even herbs. I know there are herbs for fertility as I have bought them before but I went there and it was prepared in my presence. This one she said she got from church. I will for sure pour them out gradually, and you are right my husband will definitely forget. Someone that does not remember to take regular medicine. There was even a powder like substance with it hat they said we should mix with water and sprinkle around the home (God forbid). Will throw that one out first sef

MumTT:


Black soap? This shows it isn't from a church. I'm speaking from experience. My mum's tribal man heard of my battle with spirit husband and said he could handle it. I didn't know he was a herbalist/native doctor (later found out) So my mum sent me his concoction for hubby and I to take which turned out to be moringa leaf sef. Frustrated with life, the spiritual problem and to please my mum, I decided to bathe with the black soap and wash my pompom with it. Lo and behold, na then I even see the spirit husband pass. Even during five minutes sleep for afternoon. I jejely threw the soap away and asked God for forgiveness. At the set time, God solved the problem.

Please ask the Holy Spirit to touch your Hubby's heart when you talk to him to avoid problems. Make una for no go enter from frying pan into the fire. It is well with you.

Hmm this is deep. This is the reason why I brought this issue here because I know you guys would have experience. Thanks for sharing I really appreciate it. I will use style to throw the things away

Cuppymummy:

The whole combination looks diabolical. Do not take them because you do not know the source. Don't attempt to bless what has been dedicated to the devil.

Look to God, the Eternal Babymaker and Giver!



I had the same experience for the past 4 months or so. Decided not to worry about it. But this month it flowed well. I don't know how. But was taking Omega 369, B6 after ovulation till just before AF, vit E irregularly, cucumbers and I indulged myself with tiger nuts.

Thanks for this. I have no intention of using any of that stuff. If not for anything one cannot be too sure of other people's intentions I have gone to hide it for now and will eventually throw them away. I know God will do it this year and he will receive all the gloty

MGeey:
mrssho, please do not take/apply those things. Like you've said, it is unchristian like. In this TTC journey, one has to be very careful on the places we go, the things we do and what we accept from others so that when our children come (for they will surely come), we know that truly it is from God.

Thank you ma for your response the issue now is that my husband used some today but I've gone to hide it and I pray he forgets. But will beg him tonight not to use it. It's a dicey situation because how do you convince a man that mommy dearest brought something that isn't Christian like home. SMh

Ladies I need your opinion on something. We've been trying for almost 5 years and there is nothing we haven't done it's just not clicking. So I decided to leave everything to God and focus on praying and fasting and being a good wife to my husband.
My mother in law came to the house last weekend and had a conversation with my husband. Apparently she went for prayers and they gave her somethings for us to use. However I have no intention of using them because they do not seem Christian like to me. Please see below what she brought.
1. One is a brown/grey water that they said we should be drinking
2. Then another brown substance water that we should put in our water to bath without soap
3. Then one soap to use but before using the soap we will first rub our body with palm oil and use the soap to bath
4. Then black soap
5. Then honey which we are to use our middle finger to scoop and eat
6. Then there is a powdery white substance

Do you know where she may have gotten these things from? I also find it strange that she didn't deem it fit to discuss it with me yet she expects me to use it