₦airaland Forum

Some wives find it difficult to understand why their husbands behave the way they do. Some have tried all their best to please their husbands yet frictions still exist. Many have argued that there must be disagreements between husband and wife in marriage as long as the marriage is run by two imperfect beings. I often ask ‘must there always be disagreements or quarrels in marriage if each partner understands what they should do’. Perhaps understanding men unique characteristics will better help wives invigorate their relationships and prevent disagreements and rancor. The husband you didn’t know you married will throw light into this area

Men like to be in control
The first assignment God gave to man in the Garden of Eden was control over every creature. God handed control to the man. Wives should understand that husbands like to be in control of their marriages. They are recognized as the head of the union by the Word of God no matter the condition they find themselves. Does this suggest that the man is always right? The answer is no. Sometimes a wife could be right and the husband wrong but the Word of God says the wife should submit first.

A lady said to me ‘it is not good to allow the man to take the wrong decision that would fail’. I asked the woman ‘which one is better, to fight with the man to agree with you or allow the man without a fight to go ahead with the wrong idea even if he fails’. She was speechless. I told her ‘allow him to go ahead, perhaps when he fails; he would remember you were right after all’. There are situations where the wife is the bread winner because of economic factors but that does not suggest he shouldn’t be recognized as the one in control otherwise it may engender friction, even though he doesn’t say it. One day, he may express it violently.

Men like order
The second assignment God gave to man was to dress and keep the garden. Organization, order, clean environment are the delights of men. They like things to be properly organized but are sometimes unable to fulfill it because of their busy nature. This seems to be where women who are able to put order in a disorderly situation catch the attention of men. A woman said she doesn’t notice any difference in the husband’s attitude when the whole place is well arranged except occasional thank you but whenever they are not in order; she noticed the man starts yelling at everything she does. Whenever things are not in place or are shattered, some men would call the attention of their wives but some don’t and would react immediately. The wife should understand that he is not yelling because he hates her but because things are out of order.

Men like respect
Nothing gladdens a man’s heart than for the wife to honor him in private and in public. It makes the man to have uncontrollable love for the woman. Respect is a sign of submission (Eph 5:22). Lack of respect could be interpreted that the woman is not totally committed and this can be injurious to the relationship. Even though it is not expressed facially doesn’t mean the man is unaware. Wives should understand this. To move your marriage to the next level, it is the wife’s duty to submit to her husband in everything

Men like sex
Sex and man are inseparable no matter how you look at it. Let a wife denies her husband sex for a moment, she won’t believe with her eyes the uncontrollable expression of deep hatred irrespective of the help the woman has done. Even when a woman is weak where we expect men to show understanding, you’ll still find some men unhappy because he couldn’t have sex. The husband understands one thing that it is his right and it must be done. Some husbands are unable to endure the woman’s monthly flow and the moment after child birth. It is a very serious matter and women don’t understand why. You may not understand why, it is how they were made. This is an issue every wife must deal with and bring under control and not neglect. If a wife can satisfy the unquenchable desire of her husband, he will always return to her bosom. Actually, men need self control and integrity to stay sane and maintain focus in those situations. Related: http://marriagespices.com/5-ways-secure-husband-strange-women/

Men like food
There is a Chinese proverb that says ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’. This assertion may be true because men like food. There may be few men who don’t care about food, but majority of them care. Wives can spice up their marriage by first understanding their husbands’ food preference and secondly preparing it the way he likes it. If both couples are not from the same tribe, the wife as a matter of importance should try to learn the husband’s local delicacies. The man will love the woman more. Even if you are not the one directly preparing the meal, ensure your supervision is not compromised.

Men like companionship
Everyone needs someone to lean on, to trust in moment of pain, grief, bitterness and to celebrate with, in moment of happiness and jubilation. Men are no exception but if that someone is the wife or the husband, you could imagine the strength of that marriage. Some women take this point for granted and thinks as far as she is his wife nothing can happen. Yes, you may be his wife yet he could be far from you or you may even sleep on the same bed yet his heart is somewhere else. A wife can walk her way into her husband’s heart and becomes his companion and confidant if she cares about it. Related The Woman you didn't know you married: http://marriagespices.com/woman-didnt-know-married/

Your wife is an embodiment of God’s perfect creation for you and she is the picture of God’s skill at work. She’s packed full with emotions, love, strength and intelligence necessary to assist her husband to achieve his purpose. So, it is the husband’s responsibility to ensure his wife unleashes everything God puts in her. Here are 8 ways to make your wife love you more.

Give her hope
A man should give something for the woman to hope for. Women live by hope and this go a long way to keep their homes. Some kind of belief of what the man can attain. It may not necessarily be money or material value but some kind of substance to believe and live for; and once a woman’s belief is made up, it is difficult to break. A wife can live with a man even if there is nothing at the moment provided there is something to believe and live for. When hope is broken, the woman is broken and looses faith in the man’s ability. Empty promises gives your wife wrong impression and that kills her love gradually. Men should understand this. Hope gives the woman assurance. That’s why she wants you to tell her you love her always. They are never tired hearing it.

Give her care and love
Care and love are synonymous. A woman loves someone who is caring, shows concern about her welfare, family, health, career, business etc. She needs someone who would stand by her. This is a core responsibility for husbands to show care to their wives. When your wife’s father or guardian handed her over to you, it was to let you know that he has done his bit, and the rest is yours to take good care of her. Don’t forget that it was in trust God handed Eve to Adam to do him good. The truth is that women are embodiment of love and their love is deeply rooted if only husbands could make them release it. Once a woman is in love, the whole world knows she is in love. That is how they were made. When the love is betrayed it hurts so deeply that they hardly are able to forget. Someone pointed to a woman and said that’s the husband over there but the wife looks unkempt and it doesn’t bother him. I replied the brother that the wife lacked care because the husband doesn’t understand she reflects his glory.

Give her attention
Wives like husbands to give them attention. She needs someone who she can talk to, express her worries or concern to. Husbands had better be by their wives and if you are not and someone else gives her attention, then you will have yourself to blame. Women were made to talk and express how they feel. That’s why they take time explaining to make their point. They care about details and are happy that someone is listening. Husbands can hardly shut up their wives when they start to talk. Please listen to her whether it makes sense or not because she wants you to give attention otherwise she could misinterpret it as you don’t care or love her. It is the man’s duty to listen even though you don’t like details; and where you cannot, tell her when you would be able to give her uninterrupted attention. By all means give her the desired attention.

Give her protection
A woman likes a man who will defend and protect her. Protection does not only give her security and assurance that she is safe but also confidence. That makes her trust for the husband stronger. Husbands should not be among those bullying their wives within the family and neighborhood. You should stand up, defend and honor her.

Give her honor
Honor is closely associated with protection. There is nothing a wife hates more than for the husband to dishonor her publicly. Yes, she may not be perfect. Yes, she may be wrong, but condemning her publicly is a dishonor wives are hardly able to bear. How do I know this? There was a day I scolded my wife in the living room not knowing one of my daughters was there. As a man of God I am careful what I say in the presence of my children, but this one came unexpectedly. My wife didn’t say a word but I knew she didn’t like it. When she came to me in the bedroom, she said ‘you could have scolded me in the bedroom and not in the presence of our daughter’. I was ashamed and told her I am sorry, it will never happen again. Husbands shouldn’t be too proud to say I am sorry to their wives. When you are truly sorry, she would forgive you because of the love she has inside of her.

Give her a treat
This is mostly the fun part of it. When fun is lacking in relationships, it becomes boring no matter how much love you profess to have. Giving your wife a treat is the expression of your love. Make your life love interesting no matter how busy you are. Hang out with her. Be proud of her and let your love never be in doubt in private and in public. Women love fun. Give your wife fun, buy her gifts, take her on special dates just the two of you and you’d be glad the love she would return back. The Word of God says she will never hurt you the rest of her life.

Sex is not the first thing on her mind
Husbands should understand that sex is not the first priority in the mind of women as it is with most men. Sex will come naturally when she is happy and have peace of mind. Try these ways and you’d see fighting and quarreling would end naturally. Trust me when I say so.

Be quick to understand her
Husbands should be quick to understand their wives. Women are filled with love but they have special preferences. Take for example: the fact that your mother bend her kneels to give your father his meal does not mean your she should do the same. She may have her special way to do her own. She could do that hugging you or something. Don’t compare your wife with your sisters or mother or someone else. Every woman has her own way of doing things and expressing her love. My wife for example is the shy and gentle type. She can hardly give me a kiss in public but I understand that she loves me and know how she expresses her own. She may not be able to do what you want immediately but teach her and give her time. The moment she knows you understand her, nothing could break her love for you. She would have no secrets you don’t know about. She will boast of you everywhere. Women are God’s gifts to men. Click the link for more: http://marriagespices.com/8-ways-make-wife-love/
God bless you.

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Strange women
The world is increasingly going through the challenges of modernization throwing up pressure to marriages. Smart phones and other IT devices are delivery nudes, new wave of friendship down to the bedrooms of people. A man could be talking with his wife in the bedroom while he’s chatting with another woman without the knowledge of his wife. All these have piled up pressures on wives seeking to have stable marriages. Here are some ways to secure your husband from strange women and secure your marriage.

Serve Him What He Likes
During jokes or conversation your husband would have told you what he likes and without been told a wife should know what her husband likes. It is your duty to please him when it is within your power to do so. Some husbands loves sports to the extend they go outside to watch with their friends.
Hear this testimony: This woman said her husband was always leaving the house to watch football outside and the Spirit said to her she could make him watch it at home and wisdom came. She asked him the next time his club was going to play and he told her; and she prepared for that day, bought his kind of drink and put it in the fridge and fried some chicken. On that day as the husband was about going out again, she told him she was going to watch the game with him and he reluctantly agreed to watch at home. The game started and they were watching; and later she brought in his best drink and some fried chicken. He was surprised at the wife. While he supported Chelsea she supported the opposition and at the end Chelsea Football Club won and the husband was thrilled and from that day onwards, he stayed at home. If you can get him to stay at home most of the time, he will lose interest in other women. That will be your assignment. Every man has a soft spot and only a wise wife can know that.
Some husbands love sex. Hear this. A lady said while we were discussing that her husband can never date another woman. I was shocked and asked her what she meant. She said she discovered that her husband likes women and probably has women outside. She decided to go out of her ways to really please him sexually. In the morning while he was dressing for work, she would invite him for sex and satisfy him. She really gave it to him every time that she observed he no longer hide to receive calls and stayed at home most of the time. He even confessed when the other women disturbed him so much. According to her, there was a day he told her he could never do without her and requested if she would travel with him on official trip for a seminal, she gladly obliged him. That was her she regained her husband to herself.
I was in disbelief that a woman could go all the length to fight for her man. Woman, you too can be led be the Holy Spirit. Everything is not fight and quarrel. I have had course to tell some women seeking divorce, even if you leave him, and remarries, you would eventually be faced with the other man’s challenge. Divorce is not the answer in most cases.

Escort him to the Gate
Always try to escort him to the car or the gate and tell him ‘my angel is watching over you. Go and return to me safely. I love you’ then give him a kiss. Never leave your husband without a kiss in the public or private. Those prophetic words are arrows fired into the air and will not return to you void without fulfilling its purpose. We have a weapon in our mouth. We shouldn’t use it to destroy our families but rather use it to build them.

Don’t be too careless not to be observant
Women are talented in this area that they can sense another woman’s intention towards their men unless they chose to ignore it. In most cases the men hardly know or see it. The men always think it is a harmless hug, or friendship and not until it manifests before they begin to realize that their wives were right after all.
The challenge here is that most women are unable to manage the situation due to their emotions. My advice is simple, if you observe that a particular woman is too close to your husband, make friends with her and try to offer her what help she needs that draws her close to your husband. If it is prayer, pray with her. If it is counsel, sit down to understand her situation and counsel her. If it is money or other things within your power, give to her and you would be surprised you have rescued your husband. Woman to woman, she would understand your intentions and stay clear.
Don’t be too careless and say he is a Christian and he can take care of the situation. Some men of God have fallen to this trick and their ministries ruined. This counsel is particularly good for wives of ordained ministers and pastors because of their assignment in the house of God. Wives should help their husbands stay focus to their marriage, calling or assignment.

Don’t let jealousy take the better part of you
You must tame that leopard called jealousy. It has a way of roaring without control in women, so that things don't go out of hand. If your husband suspects you are jealous, he will watch your every move. Take control of the situation.

Source:
http://marriagespices.com/5-ways-secure-husband-strange-women/