The culture practice of Polygamy is often discussed in media in the United States under the context as it pertains to religious or cult practices, except in certain contexts, as in shows like “Polygamy USA” and “Sister Wives,” the former of which is still being aired as of this writing.

While the practice of polygamy has existed in the United States for quite some time, it remains relatively taboo in most regards, being that is often associated with child abuse and oppression of women. For the purposes of this blog, we are only discussing marriage between consenting adults, and find that relationships derived from coercion, brainwashing, and abuse do not meet the standards of “marriage.”

What is problematic are the various words used to define multiple partner relationships and how often they get confused.

Polygamy is the blanket term used to describe any form of multiple marriage, perhaps with the exception of bigamy, in that bigamy can occur without some partners knowing, while Polygamy generally is classified by all partners knowingly being involved in a multiple marriage. Ergo, while we often think of polygamy as a man with multiple wives or “polygyny,” it also can include a woman with multiple husbands, or “polyandry.”

Polygyny is much more widely practiced around the world and has it’s basis more in survival than in religion, which only served to codify the practice, such as in Islam, where a man is limited to four wives. When women are prohibited from working, the task of caring for them falls on the men, and thus the system to dispense of excess amount of females in a tribe, became polygyny. It also serves to bolster the number of surviving children. If a tribe has fewer males, they can split their time between multiple females, thus increasing tribe numbers and the amount of viable offspring that might reasonably grow up and prosper. Societies that restrict women often show this practice, since it puts women into an acceptable “marriage” even if there are not enough available men to be matched to women, one on one.

Often societies that accept polygyny do not allow for polyandry, citing inheritance concerns, paternity concerns, and often outdated fears. This is still the major criticism of polygamy today, that it is disposed towards the males in the society and imposes more rigid gender laws on females. Women who participate in polygamy outside of societal structures, such as women in the US who are not restricted in a closed-community, often say there are benefits to polygamy as well. Such as having another mother around for their children, babysitters, etc.

The survival needs behind polygamy have essentially vanished in much of the world. leaving the practice more a of religious one, and many say they find comfort in following what they believe to be a designated religious calling.

Polyandry has appeared in many societies and cultures throughout history, but it is uncertain if there has ever been a society where it has been the standard codified practice as the dominant relationship between man and woman. Tibet shows evidence, as do older societies in antiquity, but they are often accompanied by multiple wives for husbands, and an open definition of marriage as we would understand it today. This stands in direct opposition to strictly polygyny societies, where polyandry would be opposed and punished under law.

Often, when a person violates the laws against polygamy in the United States, they are charged with Bigamy. Specifically defined, bigamy is entering into a marriage with another person while already being legally married. Bigamy is therefore, the criminal term for polygamy of all sorts where legal marriage is concerned in a monogamous society.

Therefore, a person can be a bigamist if they enter into a polygamous union knowingly, or blindly, although it is more common that the person perpetrating the marriages, usually the male, will receive the punishment as opposed to the women. Or vice-versa, if the woman has multiple husbands.

Most bigamy laws as they exist in Western states are not enforced, the focus is more on spousal or child abuses contained within said unions. Hence, why fundamentalist compounds in Utah are raided, but often independent polygamist families are only monitored by the government.

This poses two questions, is it dangerous for the United States and will it ever become legalized? Often, those opposing gay marriage bring up the idea of polygamy as something that will follow.

On it’s surface, there doesn’t appear to be anything about polygamy that if legalized, would harm the United States in general. Given the lack of overall persecution of families in polygamous unions, except those in cult-like settings, it would seem that people would gravitate towards it, if it was what they wanted. But with the evolutionary need for the practice non-existent here, it is unlikely that even religious teachings would spur a good deal of citizens in polygamous unions, especially under the eyes of old-fashioned jealousy.

Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women. In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals,

White-Americans and African-Americans. They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble

reasons. They marry, not for the curiosity, but because they are bonded and are determined to make a success of the marriage institution;

they are bonded by love and faith and a commitment to one another to live their lives as one in a happy matrimony.

The more I notice this phenomenon, the more I wonder about some Nigerian men. I wonder. Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing,

controlling, and paternalistic. They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the

tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. True, things are changing. True globalization and modernity and westernization are

impacting the Nigerian culture. In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal.

A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian

culture.

We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount. For instance, a great many Nigerians still practice

levirate and sororate marriage, and they also engage in polygyny, bridewealth, and matrilocal and patrilocal living arrangements. And in spite

of westernization, Nigerians are still not comfortable with public display of affection, i.e. kissing and verbal declaration of love; and neither are

they comfortable with open and public discussions of abortion, sex and exotic sex acts. That Nigerians are not comfortable with such public

declarations and have not completely embraced westernization is due, to a large extent, on the hold the traditional African culture has on the

vast majority of the populace. At the core of every Nigerian, and indeed every African, is the thumbprint, the umbilical cord of their ancestors.

This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. No! The vast majority of Nigerians

living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too. Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like

candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers. It would surprise most

westerners to know that a typical Nigerian father or mother would rarely, if ever, utter affectionate or confidence-building words like “I love

you…” to their children; yet, the children have no doubt that their parents love them. Children are the crowing glory of any respectable

Nigerian family.

Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the

transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western

world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world

belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and

sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes

honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?

How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions? How is it that a breed of men married to

their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married

to foreigners? When they are with the Nigerian women, these men are all about control and power and they expect their wives to cook and

clean and raise babies and provide sex on demand; but with the foreign wives, their balls shrink! Such men live by schedule. They have daily

and weekly schedule of when to do the laundry and the dishes; of whose turn it is to empty the thrash; and of whose turn it is to sweep and

mop the floor; and of when to eat out and cook at home.

These men — especially if married to White women — feel lucky and grateful and mightily blessed. These men meet and exceed all

matrimonial expectations; but would rubbish and dominate their Nigerian women. What is it about a White woman that makes the Nigerian

male lose his senses? Could it be because of their skin color and their supposed sensuality and submissive attitude in bed? Could it be

because they engage in all kinds of mind-altering sexual acts that, understandably, the Nigerian woman would NOT engage in? Or perhaps it

has to do with the warped mentality of some Nigerian men who thinks everything white is good and desirable and so must be had!

Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need

to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and

cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for

non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house.

They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means

to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.

When it comes to matters of life, love and death, Nigerian women have stood by their husbands. They are there during the passing of their

in-laws; they give succor in times of crisis. These women understand what the African family is all about. But not much can be said about

non-Nigerian wives who may not even find it necessary to visit or attend marriage or burial ceremonies in their husbands’ ancestral homes.

For non-Nigerian wives, life begins and ends in American. For these women, marriage is not about marrying into another family; it is about

“us and us alone.” And in fact, they would rather you not bother them with stories about your extended families and the need for the monthly

or quarterly remittances.

Yes, some of us can’t help with whom we fall in love; but to the extent that one can, I would rather a Nigerian. A Nigerian woman is not likely to throw

you out of your home; she is not likely to call the cops on you based on flimsy reasons; she is not likely to drag you through the judicial system; she is not

likely to throw the divorce papers at you at the slightest provocation; she is not likely to turn her backs at you in times of financial difficulties and other

crises. In order words: Nigerian women are likely to stay and be loving and generous and supportive for the long haul! Again and again and again, they

have proven that of all God’s creations, they are the very best. And indeed, they are!

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Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women. In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals,

White-Americans and African-Americans. They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble

reasons. They marry, not for the curiosity, but because they are bonded and are determined to make a success of the marriage institution;

they are bonded by love and faith and a commitment to one another to live their lives as one in a happy matrimony.

The more I notice this phenomenon, the more I wonder about some Nigerian men. I wonder. Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing,

controlling, and paternalistic. They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the

tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. True, things are changing. True globalization and modernity and westernization are

impacting the Nigerian culture. In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal.

A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian

culture.

We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount. For instance, a great many Nigerians still practice

levirate and sororate marriage, and they also engage in polygyny, bridewealth, and matrilocal and patrilocal living arrangements. And in spite

of westernization, Nigerians are still not comfortable with public display of affection, i.e. kissing and verbal declaration of love; and neither are

they comfortable with open and public discussions of abortion, sex and exotic sex acts. That Nigerians are not comfortable with such public

declarations and have not completely embraced westernization is due, to a large extent, on the hold the traditional African culture has on the

vast majority of the populace. At the core of every Nigerian, and indeed every African, is the thumbprint, the umbilical cord of their ancestors.

This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. No! The vast majority of Nigerians

living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too. Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like

candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers. It would surprise most

westerners to know that a typical Nigerian father or mother would rarely, if ever, utter affectionate or confidence-building words like “I love

you…” to their children; yet, the children have no doubt that their parents love them. Children are the crowing glory of any respectable

Nigerian family.

Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the

transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western

world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world

belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and

sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes

honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?

How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions? How is it that a breed of men married to

their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married

to foreigners? When they are with the Nigerian women, these men are all about control and power and they expect their wives to cook and

clean and raise babies and provide sex on demand; but with the foreign wives, their balls shrink! Such men live by schedule. They have daily

and weekly schedule of when to do the laundry and the dishes; of whose turn it is to empty the thrash; and of whose turn it is to sweep and

mop the floor; and of when to eat out and cook at home.

These men — especially if married to White women — feel lucky and grateful and mightily blessed. These men meet and exceed all

matrimonial expectations; but would rubbish and dominate their Nigerian women. What is it about a White woman that makes the Nigerian

male lose his senses? Could it be because of their skin color and their supposed sensuality and submissive attitude in bed? Could it be

because they engage in all kinds of mind-altering sexual acts that, understandably, the Nigerian woman would NOT engage in? Or perhaps it

has to do with the warped mentality of some Nigerian men who thinks everything white is good and desirable and so must be had!

Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need

to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and

cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for

non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house.

They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means

to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.

When it comes to matters of life, love and death, Nigerian women have stood by their husbands. They are there during the passing of their

in-laws; they give succor in times of crisis. These women understand what the African family is all about. But not much can be said about

non-Nigerian wives who may not even find it necessary to visit or attend marriage or burial ceremonies in their husbands’ ancestral homes.

For non-Nigerian wives, life begins and ends in American. For these women, marriage is not about marrying into another family; it is about

“us and us alone.” And in fact, they would rather you not bother them with stories about your extended families and the need for the monthly

or quarterly remittances.

Yes, some of us can’t help with whom we fall in love; but to the extent that one can, I would rather a Nigerian. A Nigerian woman is not likely to throw

you out of your home; she is not likely to call the cops on you based on flimsy reasons; she is not likely to drag you through the judicial system; she is not

likely to throw the divorce papers at you at the slightest provocation; she is not likely to turn her backs at you in times of financial difficulties and other

crises. In order words: Nigerian women are likely to stay and be loving and generous and supportive for the long haul! Again and again and again, they

have proven that of all God’s creations, they are the very best. And indeed, they are![color=#006600][/color]

odun odun yi a yabo
odun odun yi a miringindin

peregede la o ye

Chorus

oya oo peregede laoye

e-o-peregede laoye
odun odun yi a yabo,
odun odun yi a miringindin
peregede lao ye

verse 1
December ta wa yi o

ko ni di wa meru lo

odun odun yi a miringindin
pregede lao ye
Chorus
Verse
A o ni sunkun Omo
Olorun Ma je a se'aisan

peregede laoye

Chorus

repeat 4 times

Emi a jo o, ma tun kese soke wipe
Baba seun pupo fun mi ni temi
Oro ti dijo, oro mi ti dayo(2x)
Emi a jo o, ma tun kese soke wipe
Baba seun pupo fun mi ni temi