₦airaland Forum

Please Soldier another time you are off duty, stay calm, humble and safe. The high way is full of diversified manifestation. So apply wisdom at all check points. Sorry for that embarrassment.

This is a heart bleeding and breaking tragedy. How will this family mourn these. May there soul rest in peace

Why we won’t accept ranching in Nigeria – Fulani herdsmen
2017/11/20 08:07:04dailypost.ng
Fulani herdsmen in Nigeria have vowed not to accept cattle ranching because the country’s geographical location was not suitable for it.

According to the herders, the anti-open grazing laws being established by state governments would die a natural death like ‘political sharia law’ in Zamfara.

Addressing newsmen, yesterday, in Abuja, through their socio-cultural association, under the aegis of Miyetti-Allah Kautal Hore, the Fulani insisted that events in history showed that ranching was not practicable in Nigeria.

To this end, they urged the Federal Government to immediately stop state governments from enacting anti-open grazing laws.

National Secretary of Miyetti-Allah Kautal Hore, Saleh Alhassan, who read the association’s prepared speech to newsmen at the event, called on the Federal Government to stop state governments, especially Benue and Taraba states, from going ahead with implementing the laws.

He said: “The whole experiment of ranching in Nigeria is a total failure, you can google it, it’s there on the Internet for everyone to see.

“ Right from the 70s,the old Gongola State had experimented ranching, the same with Kaduna State and even the old Plateau State. All the ranches collapsed because the geographical location of this country is not suitable for ranching.

“In places where there are successful ranching in the world, the volume of rain per annum in those areas is at least four to seven months, that’s why you have grasses that can naturally be sustained.

“At the same time, you must have the necessary breeds that will support even ranching. The current breeds we have in this country cannot be supported by ranching.

“Anywhere you keep these volume of cows we have now, for two weeks, they will eat out everything and you will have ecological disaster, “he said.

“ We view the anti-grazing law as an agenda to destroy our means of livelihood by visionless and desperate politicians.

“Anti-grazing laws are nothing but populist agenda designed by visionless and desperate politicians to destroy our means of livelihood.

“This dangerous gambit must be nib in the bud by the federal government through the security agencies as it portends great danger to the cooperate existence of the country.

“These laws are oppressive and negative and are fundamentally against our culture as Fulani pastoralists, against our economic interest and against the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

“ It is important to note that inter-state movement of pastoralists is similar to inter-state commerce and it is only the National Assembly that can legislate on that aspect as captured in item 62 of the exclusive legislative list. So no state governor can decide to stop movement of pastoralists because that is their own form of commerce. So, they have gone against the constitution.

“The laws do not take into cognisance our sociology, our economic interest, our production patterns, climate variations and factors that pushed pastoralists into these migrations. These migrations are not picnics, they are detected by ecological needs.

“It is a common knowledge that the primitive form of agriculture practiced in Benue and Taraba states and indeed all over the country, is not consonant with global best practices.

“ So why singling out the pastoralists and insist that they must ranch which is the global best practice? That’s out argument.

“If the whole agricultural policy, the whole development of agriculture in Nigeria is still at this primitive stage, you cannot single out the herders who are also farmers that they must practice global best practice, it’s not possible.”

“Again, very fundamentally,the River Benue and the tributaries and also the international routes and roads that pass through Benue don’t belong to Benue State Government, they belong to the Federal Government. Benue State Government has no jurisdiction over River Benue, its

The National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control has introduced new measures to encourage Medium and Small Scale Enterprises in doing business.
Prof. Moji Adeyeye, the Director General of NAFDAC, made the disclosure in Lafia, Nasarawa State at a workshop organised by NAFDAC for stakeholders and MSMEs on: “Ease of Doing Business in Nigeria.”
Adeyeye, represented by Dr. Jimoh Abubakar, the Director of Special Duties in NAFDAC, said the aim of the workshop was to identify challenges stakeholders encountered in registering their​businesses and proffer solutions to them.
Adeyeye acknowledged the importance of MSMEs to the Nigerian economy, adding that a vast majority of products manufactured by MSMEs were regulated by NAFDAC, which necessitated the one day workshop.
She said: “MSMEs play a vital role in the economic development of Nigeria and are known to be the main engine of economic growth. The importance of MSMEs to our economy cannot therefore be overemphasised.
“A vast majority of products manufactured by MSMEs are regulated by NAFDAC.
“The agency therefore plays a key role in ensuring that products manufactured by MSMEs comply with relevant quality and safety specifications before their approval, for distribution, sale and use.”
The director-general enumerated the new measures aimed at encouraging MSMEs as 50 per cent reduction in cost of registration of products for companies with five or fewer employees and reduction in registration timeline to 90 days.
Others are establishment of Small Business Support Desk to guide small business through registration processes and electronic submission of documents to line directorates in Lagos
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Adeyeye also said the agency had initiated NAFDAC Product Registration Outreach to provide interactive engagement and advice on documentation, labelling and other requirements to facilitate the registration process.
She noted that in spite the new measures, many MSMEs still perceived the NAFDAC registration process as cumbersome.
She said: “I assure you that NAFDAC will continue to engage our stakeholders in consultative meetings towards resolving all challenges faced by MSMEs.
“I encourage you to seize the opportunity during the technical session to speak freely so that the objectives of this forum will be achieved.”
Also, Josephine Dayilim, the Zonal Coordinator of NAFDAC, North Central Zone, said the policy of the Muhammadu Buhari administration was to ensure that MSMEs as major non-oil revenue earners were viable.
Dayilim said: “The proliferation of MSMEs is on the increase and the need to address the bottlenecks encountered during processing of establishments products registration in the states.”
Dayilim advised stakeholders and MSMEs to avoid sharp practices and to adhere strictly to NAFDAC regulations and guidelines so as to produce wholesome goods and efficacious products.
In an address of welcome, Michael Attah, the Nasarawa State Coordinator of NAFDAC, expressed the hope and optimism that after the meeting all stakeholders would understand each other better and work together.
“The goal is to ensure your income increases, the economy of our dear country booms and the quality, standard and safety of your products are guaranteed for the health of all Nigerians,” Attah said.

ANAMBRA ELECTION
Anambra election: Bianca floors Ojukwu’s son

Bianca Ojukwu
Ihuoma Chiedozie

One of Governor Willie Obiano’s staunch supporters, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu, has expressed joy with the victory recorded by the All Progressives Grand Alliance candidate at the polling units in her ward, Umudim Central School, in Nnewi North LGA.

A breakdown of results collated in the unit showed that APGA recorded 261 votes, APC 98, and PDP 80.

Addressing journalists in the area, the widow of late Biafran leader, Dim Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, said, “In my area, APGA is winning. I believe we will go on to win the election.”

A son of the late Biafran warlord, Chukwuemeka Ojukwu Jr., who has been engaged in a running battle with Bianca, recently threw his weight behind the APC candidate, Tony Nwoye

Chidozie Awaziem Frustrates Neymar In Nantes Loss To PSG In Ligue 1 PSG cruise to a 4-1 win over Nantes in the French Ligue 1 to consolidate their number one spot on the Ligue 1 log. The Argentina duo of Angel Di Maria and Javier Pastore were on the score sheet for PSG but Edinson Cavani stole the show with a brace in the game decided at the Parc des Princes. There was no goal for Brazilian forward Neymar who was properly kept in check by Nigerian defender Chidozie Awaziem throughout the game. The world most expensive signing ever found it hard against the Nigerian who was deployed as a right back by coach Claudio Ranieri to keep the Brazilian in check. Awaziem made sure Neymar always have him for company whenever he is on the ball, and even when he got booked it was for a foul on Yuri Berchiche and not on the Brazilian. His display was the only positive for Nantes as their surprise run was brought to end by a PSG side in rampant form despite leaving Kylian Mbappe on the bench for the entire duration of the game.

Everton Loanee Henry Onyekuru Hits Winner For Anderlecht In Win Over Mouscron On loan Everton forward Henry Onyekuru helped his loan side Anderlecht to a 2-1 win over Excel Mouscron in a top division league game in Belgium. Massimo Bruno gave Anderlecht the lead in the 42nd minute, a lead they hanged on to till the half time break in the fixture decided at the Stade Le Cannonier. Omar Govea drew Mouscron level in the 52nd minutes, and just when it seems the game would be ending in a draw Onyekuru popped up with the winner for Anderlecht, ten minutes from full time. The goal was the 7th goal the Nigerian has scored this season from 15 league games, a remarkable tally considering how slow he started his career at the club after joining them on loan from Everton. Last season he scored 24 goals in all competitions for modest side KAS Eupen, and if he maintains his current form in front of goal he could equal or surpass the figure.

17-Year-Old Nigerian Midfielder Trains With Arsenal First Team Ahead Of Spurs Clash
Highly-rated Nigerian youngster James Olayinka trained with the first team of Arsenal on Friday morning, ahead of the Premier League clash against Tottenham Hotspur at the Emirates Stadium. Arsenal youth-team expert Jeorge Bird says the 17- year-old was amongst four academy players in attendance at the training session, the others being Eddie Nketiah and goalkeepers Matt Macey and Deyan Iliev. A full-blooded midfielder, Olayinka can also be deployed as a winger and has scored two goals for Arsenal U18s this term. With the first year scholar featuring for the U18s against Norwich City on Friday afternoon, he is out of the reckoning to make the Gunners squad for tomorrow's clash against Tottenham. Another Nigerian player that won't be considered by manager Arsene Wenger is Chuba Akpom, with the striker starting for the U23s in their Premier League International Cup encounter against Porto on Friday evening. Super Eagles winger Alex Iwobi was pictured training with the first team and is in line to make his sixth Premier League appearance against Spurs.

Police forensic investigation reveals killers of Shell worker, Onyenkwere in Rivers

The use of forensic technology in criminal investigation by the Rivers State Police command has paid off to unravel a mysterious killing incident at Shell Industrial Area in Port Harcourt.

This, according to Deputy Commissioner of Police in Charge of Operations, Ahmed Magaji was used in apprehending suspected killers of one Cletus Onyekwere.

DAILY POST gathered that Late Onyekwere until his death was a staff of a sub-contracting firm with SPDC located at Rumuobiakani and was murdered on the 13th of April this year at his residents within the Industrial Area of the SPDC.

Parading the suspected killers of Onyenkwere who are identified as Kingsley Nwankor and Joseph Francis, DCP Ahmed said the effort of the forensic tools paid handsomely three months after submitting the forensic exhibits which proved a match that was found belonging to the suspects.

“The ground breaking achievement recorded by the Command on the arrests of the killers of Late Cletus Onyekwele ‘m’ who was murdered in cold blood in his office.

“It could be recalled that on the 13th day of April 2017 at about 2345hrs, the Elekahia Police Station reported a case of murder of Cletus Onyekwele ‘m’ who was found dead in the pool of his own blood at the Industrial Area of the Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria, Rumuobiakani, Port Harcourt. The deceased until his death was a staff of Alfamead Nigeria Ltd (A Sub- contracting firm with SPDC).

“As soon as the case was reported, the Divisional Police Officer Elekahia Division led a Police Team to the Scene, where they condoned and preserved the scene of crime, evacuated the deceased and deposited him in the mortuary.

“Subsequently, the case was transferred to the State Criminal Intelligence and Investigation Department SCIID in the wee hours of 14th April 2017 for further Investigation.

“Investigation into the case commenced in earnest with the main focus on the use of Forensic Science. Consequently, DNA samples, pieces of physical evidence and eye witnesses’ accounts were deployed in tackling this case.

“In the course of our Investigation, we invited a total of fifty (50) suspects made up of contract and Security Staff of SPDC for questioning.

“They were unconditionally released on Bail after recording their statements and obtaining relevant Forensic Exhibits which were later processed and forwarded to the appropriate laboratories for analysis and report.

“This effort paid off handsomely when after three Months of submitting the Forensic Exhibits, a match was found belonging to one of the profiles earlier sent, identified as that of Kingsley Nwankor 40yrs, a staff of MB $ C Investment Ltd, a sub-contracting firm with SPDC who will be paraded today.

“His confession led to the arrest of the second suspect, Joseph Francis 37yrs also a staff of MB $ C Investment who is currently helping us in our Investigation.

“We are proud to inform you that the Command has not only made a ground breaking achievement through the use of sophisticated Forensic technology but has secured justice for the family of the deceased and equally guaranteed a safer environment for all workers and visitors within the SPDC Industrial Area and members of the public at large.

Saraki urges Auditors-General to block revenue leakages in public Service

PRESIDENT of the Senate, Dr. Abubakar Bukola Saraki, has called on Auditors-General in the country, particularly at the Local Government level, to partner with the Senate in its current effort to block financial leakages and ensure that maximum revenue accrues to government at all levels in the Federation. Saraki, according to a statement by his Chief Press Secretary, Sanni Onogu, gave the charge when the national executive of the Conference of the Auditors-General for Local Governments in Nigeria, led by its National Chairman, Barr. Reuben Osita Nwosu, visited him at the National Assembly, Abuja. He noted that the visit was apt by coming at a time the 8th Senate is intensifying efforts to enhance government’s non-oil revenue through thorough scrutinization of revenue generation activities in Ministries, Departments and Agencies, MDAs, and demanding accountability and transparency in their operations. “I want to urge the Conference of the Auditors General for Local Governments in Nigeria to join hands with the Senate in ensuring that governments at all levels get all the revenues that are due to them,” Saraki stated. He noted the concerns of the association regarding granting autonomy to the offices of the Auditors General throughout the federation by amending the Constitution to strengthen their capacity to carry out their legitimate functions. Saraki said: “In fact, one of the amendments we have carried out on the Constitution is financial autonomy to Local Governments and I am sure that will go a long way in helping them to have a more transparent and accountable finance system. “I totally agree with you that in doing that we must also strengthen the autonomy of the Auditors General because since we are giving those kind of responsibilities to local governments. “It is necessary that we support that with the necessary tools that will ensure that they are effective because if you don’t do that, the capacity at the local governments with those kind of responsibilities will be defeated,” he said. Earlier, the National Chairman of Auditors-General for Local Governments in Nigeria, Barr. Reuben Osita Nwosu, who led other national executive members of the association on the visit, said that the country cannot entrench accountability and transparency in the public service without guaranteed autonomy through administrative and financial independence for Auditors-General at the three tiers of government. Nwosu who is the Auditor General for Local Governments in Imo State,
said: “At the Local Government level with the granting of financial autonomy to the Local Government Councils, there arose a greater need to strengthen the capacity of the office of Auditors-General for Local Governments. “Financial autonomy to the Local Government Councils without granting autonomy through administrative and financial independence to the AuditorsGeneral for Local Governments would be counter productive,” he stated. He said that the association was excited at the progress made so far in the amendment of the Constitution by the National Assembly adding that the “exercise would greatly remove all Constitutional impediments on the granting of autonomy through financial and administrative independence to the Office of the Auditors-General at the Federal, State and Local Governments in the country.”

UN honours 230 Nigerian troops serving in Liberia

230 Nigerian peacekeepers serving with United Nations Mission in Liberia (UNMIL) have been awarded with the United Nations Medal in acknowledgement of their contribution to peace and stability in that country.

This is contained in a statement made available to DAILY POST Friday night by Douglas T. Coffman of the UN Strategic Communications Division.

It said the Special Representative of the Secretary-General (SRSG) Farid Zarif presided over the ceremony at Camp Abuja in Monrovia, where UN medals were also presented to Staff Officers, Military Observers, and the Pakistani Medical Contingent (PAKMED).

The SRSG stated, “These peacekeepers have contributed towards strengthening and consolidating peace and stability in Liberia. They have brought pride and honour, not just to their contingents, but also to their nations.

“You have also given meaning to the United Nations services throughout the world by helping nations in distress in order to fight back some of the challenges that may have gone beyond their capacity,”.

Zarif urged them to take pride in their contribution to serving the common cause of the United Nations by continuing to help humanity and nations in distress.

He said that by doing so, peacekeepers justify the presence and continuation of the work of the United Nations as the most indispensable organization without which humanity will be in difficult distress.

“Be proud of what you are doing in supporting and maintaining peace around the world and helping other nations,” Farid added.

In attendance at the ceremony were top official of UNMIL and UN Country Team, including the Deputy Special Representative of the Secretary General (DSRSG) for Peace Consolidation, Yacoub El Hillo, Force Commander, Major General Salihu Zaway Uba and Director of Mission Support (DMS), David Penklis.

Security Council had at its 7851st meeting on 23 December 2016 adopted the Resolution 2333 (2016) that extended the mandate of UNMIL for a final period until 30 March 2018.

It also requested the Secretary-General to complete by 30 April 2018 the withdrawal of all uniformed and civilian UNMIL components, other than those required to complete the Mission’s liquidation.

4 easy steps to checking if your National ID Card
Have you registered for your Nigerian National Identity card and you want to know if it is ready before you go to the collection center to get your card? Here is how to check if your National ID card is ready.


You don’t need to keep going to the activation center to find out if your National ID Card is available. You can now check your NIMC card status online to confirm if it is ready and if it has been dispatched to an activation center. Follow the steps below to check your NIMC card status.

READ ALSO:NIMC pre-enrolment process


Visit the website www.touch.nimc.gov.ng/ to check if your National identity card is ready. On the website, you should see “Click to Proceed” at the bottom of the page. Click this option and you will be directed to the next page.
On the next page, you will be required to enter the following information:; First Name, Last Name, and your National Identification Number (last 6 digits of your NIN).
After entering this information, check to see if everything is accurate. If it is, you can proceed to click on “Check Now”. The status of your NIMC card will be displayed. It might take a few seconds though.
If your card is ready, you can go to the National Identity Management Commission collection center indicated in an SMS that would have been sent to you. Make sure you go to the collection center with your NIN transaction slip and the batch number in the message sent to you.

If you have not enrolled for your Nigerian National Identity Card, you should, because soon you might not be able to access some things without it. You can get your National ID card by enrolling for NIMC registration. Register by signing up for the NIMC Pre-Enrolment Portal at www.penrol.nimc.gov.ng/.

i must commend the effort of our newcomer Tryonne Ebuhi, he display is brilliant.

Am so excited that we won the Argentines, we should not glory yet. Much work needs to be done on our defence and attack if not the winning will be a high jump trap for our flop during the world cup.

Am so excited that we won the Argentines, we should not glory yet. Much work needs to be done on our defence and attack if not the winning will be a high jump trap for our flop during the world cup. That our goal keep Akpeyi is not worth an international goal keeper.Rohr i must commend your dressing room charger.

DONT LET YOUR FRUSTRATION DRIVE YOUR ACTIONS I am really, really mad right at that very day. That i resolved to pray so that my father should die just because he had never wanted me to ride his Vespa, ( a brand of motorcycle). Some people will say i was such a foolish nauty boy. But some of us has done something worst.You know what will happen when he dies then............ I even feel like crying from the stress of the situation. Is a very long story i would not like to share on this platform. That was as a teenager though. Today when i remember this i will always laugh at my deep ignorance. Thank God he never answered that prayer . That is how so many of us has something we crave for but we can not have them at that moment or we have them but they are getting on our nerves. Have you ever been in this kind of emotional state? The circumstances don’t really matter to let me cover the points I want to write about today. Furthermore, let me just say I was very frustrated about a situation with my work, relationship, career, and some people I depend on. Today was not a good day! And now I have to deal with it. But here’s the thing . . . I have learned from experience that when we are in such a carnal state (and yes, my flesh is screaming right now), it’s not the right time to react. It’s not even the right time to say very much. I know. I’ve made the mistake of letting my frustration drive my actions and the results are usually not very good! In fact, they are usually regrettable. As hard as it may seem, the very best thing to do when frustration has you by your neck is to be quiet. Let some time pass. Get a perspective. And try to calm your nerves as much as you can. This may take a little time. You may need to take a walk and get some fresh air. But the goal right now is to keep your emotions in check so they don’t do damage! There is nothing wrong with anger. Jesus was angry several times. And of course, the Old Testament includes many times when God was angry and even disgusted with His people. So don’t beat yourself up for feeling angry or frustrated about an issue. But there is a tipping point. And here is what the Word of God says about it, “Be angry, and do not sin.” Ephesians 4:26. So yes, feel the anger. But don’t allow it to be the driving force behind your actions that could cause damage to you or to others. For me, this command is why it’s so important to keep my lips sealed when I am frustrated and angry. Again, the Bible has a very clear instruction to us about that, “Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.” James 3:10-12 Anger and frustration often serve as the fuel for toxic words, put-downs and mean statements! But once those anger-filled words are out of your mouth, there’s no getting them back! They are like feathers caught by the wind, never to be recaptured. The Bible also teaches us a couple other really important lessons about anger. It’s found in the second half of Ephesians 4:26. Here’s the whole verse, “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” God doesn’t want anger and frustration to mature into resentment and bitterness. He doesn’t want us in the stress negative emotions can foster. And He doesn’t want us to get into unforgiveness. You must everly learn to Shake It Off!. However, that’s exactly what we’re to do. We are to shake off the negative feelings. We are to forgive. We are to rid our souls of the junk before it has time to fester. I’d like to say my heart is now totally free of the frustration I feel about my associates. But I’m not quite there, yet. I’ll get there. And as I do, I will think about how to handle the issue in a way that is right and respectful and appropriate for all of us. We will get through this . . . and as a child of God and a citizen in His kingdom, I have a responsibility to be kind rather than harsh. Respectful rather than rude. And open rather than closed off (I have to admit, I think the Holy Spirit is talking to me right now. “Yes, Sir. I will obey.”) Yes, obedience is the trump card. No matter how I feel, as a follower of Jesus Christ I am called to obey. Sometimes the voice of frustration is telling us, call off the marriage, quite that job, opt for that career, stay alone every one hates you, Breathe in while silently saying the word, “Peace.” Breathe out while silently saying the words, “Be still.” Repeat. Ponder: We all have stuff and situations in life that panic us. Fear saps our energy and leaves us feeling depleted and hopeless. What are your fears today? Be honest. Read the scripture in the image. When we listen to God’s words of peace and believe them, we allow them to work their way into our innermost beings and settle the fear and chaos within. If your only answer contains reactions to the situation instead of ways to remedy the situation itself, you are dealing with an event you cannot control. But what if the line isn’t so clear? A lot of us deal with this frustration all the time with depression or anxiety. Much of it may be out of our control– the fact that it happens to us, that it comes in uninvited. We can avoid the triggers that we know lead us to depression, but in many of us, something like not getting enough sleep can be enough to set it off. And that’s not our fault. Our actions, however, we can control. We can choose to stand up and protect ourselves with self-care, or we can let it take us away. I advocate fighting for your health and taking positive action to stay standing, but I want to make sure I’m clear about this next part: fighting your depression in terms of pushing it down, pretending it’s not there or being angry at yourself for going through it at all is a waste of time. That is not the “fight” that I’m promoting. The “fight” I teach is the refusal to be dragged away with it, to maintain hope in the fury of chaos. You can get angry at it. You can be disappointed that it’s happening again. But the more you try to stuff it down, the stronger it gets.You can learn to live in spite of these storms. With practice they may lose their power, diminishing from hurricanes to gentle rains. And if they don’t, you’ll get stronger at holding your ground and living your life no matter how much they blow. Let the storm pass, and stay standing by accepting that it’s happening. Finally focus on Jesus Christ who is the author and the finisher of our faith. GOD BLESS U. By Pastor Ebenezer Chukwuemeka

My wife still picks my calls and i do pick hers too, what is wrong with that.... Part 1 Why must Opposite-Sex Friendships Ruin Your Marriage For the sake of clearity, and to make this expository self explanatory, i will be dishing this writeup in parts. It is something I have learned the hard way. However, I am thankful that I learned it before marriage, not during. Being close friends with the opposite sex is a dangerous game to play. I say it’s a game, because that’s exactly what it is, just a game. You might be able to play it for a while, but more often than not it’s a game we’re all destined to lose at some point. I would argue that it is completely appropriate for your spouse to tell you that you can’t be friends with a particular someone of the opposite sex… And here is why. A relationship with the opposite sex can only go so far before it starts infringing on the covenant of your marriage. Now, let me be clear. I am not saying you can’t have friends of the opposite sex. And I am not saying that all your opposite sex relationships are bad. But what I am saying is, the unavoidable progression of relationships is something that is far to easily ignored, for how dangerous they can be. If ignored and dismissed for too long, you’ll be in a relationship too deep to stop. The good person in you won’t want to hurt them (your opposite-sex friend) or your spouse because neither one deserves to be hurt. So it becomes a mess. These situations can seem complicated, but they are actually quite simple to understand. Yes, you can have friends of the opposite sex. No, I am not saying this is the say all end all on the debate. This exposition is about why and how they CAN ruin your marriage. Think of it as more of a warning, than a “hammer and judge.” It is written from a long-distance perspective, with only ONE story to back it. Of course there are other situations that may vary. But the idea remains the same. The heart behind this exposition is to bring light to a topic rarely talked about, and open the inter-webs for healthy discussion on the matter. Here is an experience with this type of situation: While I was in the university, i had a very close friend Oscar. He had a good friend that was a girl. Simultaneously, Oscar and Chinenye were in a long-distance relationship. Over time, his friendship with this girl evolved. You could say she was one of his best friends. This started to cause a lot of issues with Chinenye and Oscar. but he couldn’t understand why, because in his mind we were just friends, maybe even in her mind too. But as we all know from experience… all dating relationships are GOING SOMEWHERE. Either closer together, or further apart. While Oscar and Chi were weathering their long-distance relationship and growing further apart, Oscar was hanging out with this girl almost every day, and they were inevitably growing closer together. Chinenye had asked him many times to stop hanging out with this girl as frequently as he was. To his regret, he didn’t listen. He was wrapped up in my “harmless” relationship with this girl. There came a time where, despite his lack of understanding at the time, if Oscar wanted a healthy relationship with Chinenye, he had to say goodbye to his friend. There was nothing wrong with her, she didn’t do anything wrong, in fact, she helped him a ton and had a huge impact on his life in University…. but at the expense of his relationship with Chinenye. Do you know Oscar later married his new girl. The story i wouldn't like to continue due .............. That is how so many friendship with opposite sex as married couples gradually tore your best relationship apart. Though as harmless and sincere it may be. i could not get an real life married couple experience for this illustration, but as a married man, i never had any opposite sex as a close friend and it gives freedom to my marriage.Do you know it has saved me from all heart attacks, off deep explanation in order to control assumptous escalations. My wife picks my call at will for me and i do for her too at vice versa. The issue of opposite sex relationship in marrisge has alot of disadvantages. Am not saying you should not be good to opposite sex, but emotions must be strongly guided less the consequencies is negatively impactful. Think about it this way, say you have a scale of 0 – 100 percent. The maximum effort you can give is 100 percent. You cannot give more than 100 percent effort, it’s not possible! Your relationships, not just marriage, are constantly fluctuating. They are in a fluid state of giving and taking energy and effort. Every time you give to someone else the percentage on that scale changes in their favor. The more you give to someone else, the less you have for your wife or potential spouse. And once you are married, your wife is the most important relationship you have besides your relationship with the Lord. Your effort and energy should go to her first, always. In the case above , from my basic mathematical view or findings. Oscar was splitting his efforts 60/40 percent between chinenye and his new friend. Marriage requires 100 percent effort. Although he was not married to Chinenye yet, when you are dating intentionally, the principle remains the same. You see the result the earlier person was finally dumped. If your eyes is single, your whole body will be full of light, is a bible saying. Although his deepest desire was to have a healthy relationship with Chinenye that was progressing towards marriage, his strongest desire was to remain friends with this girl. Sometimes our deepest desires are overridden by our strongest desires. If your deepest desire is to have a strong, healthy, covenant, marriage.Then you have to be willing to align your strongest desires with your deepest desires. Oscar was in love with Chinenye and she knew that, this girl was just his friend whom he cared about deeply. I didn’t understand why it couldn’t work! Besides, they’re not even married yet! But he was dating to marry, and if Chinenye was going to be his wife, then he needed to learn an important lesson. Actions speak louder than words. “The closer I get to marriage, the less concerned I need to be about pleasing others, and the more concerned I need to be about pleasing my wife.” One day I was wrestling with why I had to break off this friendship with my friend that was a girl… and it hit me. We tend to only see where we ourselves stand. So I put myself in wife’s shoes, and thought to myself, “What if my wife had a guy friend who was becoming her best friend, and it wasn’t me…” I hated the thought. And we weren’t even married yet! Within marriage that would be so wrong it’s insane. Not only wrong, but detrimental. Your spouse should be your best friend. Some people may say that they have always had opposite- sex friends, and marriage shouldn’t have to change that. I’ve heard people say that being able to have opposite-sex friends is a sign of a healthy relationship. Not true. In my opinion, this viewpoint is naive and selfish. Marriages have “ups” and “downs.” During an “up” season, where everything is bright and dandy, it might be easier to allow a seemingly harmless opposite-sex relationship to exist, even if it frustrates your spouse a little bit. But in the “down” season, that opposite-sex friendship could become a destructive wildfire – and one that is very hard to extinguish. During that “down” season when you start having issues, disagreements, and fights with your wife, conveniently you have a female friend who understands you, will listen, is “always there for you,” and is fun and easy to talk to. Wait a minute, that sure sounds a lot like the vows once made to a special person called your spouse… “Marriage is a unique relationship where you choose to throw your decisions under the authority of your word.” You made a promise, and now you must make decisions that honor your promise. When you find yourself torn between where you should spend your effort and energy, the answer is likely your spouse. They are your priority, and your energy and effort should first be devoted to them. Even when it’s hard, and especially when it’s easy. I pray that this will go a long way to restore your marriages and relationships. amen. By Pastor Chukwuemeka Ebenezer.A

the problem with most of us, do alot of eye service to show relevance, the God you are worshiping knows you have nothing for offering.but because you want to please every one you go out there to put empty envelop in the name of offering. Just be sincere in his presence, do the mock you, your time of overflow is coming. So remain on your stand or queitly go out. If not the order of worship of some churches, no one is suppose to know whether you came with offering or not. remain sincere.