₦airaland Forum

MartinsD12:
No mind am that's why I told her since she claim she is not even rushing him to Marry her that she should just give the man more time, Imagine just two months and she wants everything , for her mind since she has spread legs for him it's now marriage, she even Said the guy is comfortable because he has two cars I don't know how some Ladies reason, they reason quite low, once you have a car that assume you are made, they don't know one can have two cars and still be broke, like this guy the lady feels maybe because he is handling the family business he is rich forgetting that he is not actually that fully independent as she thinks because family business is family business before decisions concerning money expenses are made family members must be carried along

How does having two cars translate to being wealthy? I wrote there that I do not know his financial capacity but judging from the things I mentioned, he seems okay.

And where did I say I am not giving him more time? Nowhere did I write I want marriage with him right away since we have been together for six months.

Well, let's just agree that you are blind.

ultraviolet27:
Sister I feel you should Calm down at ur age range you are still not that very Old to now Seem very desperate to get married I know their is d thing of Biological Clock ticking but Stop Sleeping with this Guy Please!! the more you sleep with a Guy not Committed to you,nor engaged to or even married to the Less weakened ur Chances of Picking other Choices of Men outside your relationship bcs at d Long run you Will feel Cheated if you 2 don't end Up together You Can still stay wit Him for Like 8/months and gauge His feelings and reactions He might Not even be Serious about not wanting to Settle down Soon might just want to Pull ur Legs to ascertain ur reactions.

More so when u start denying Him access to ur Body u may quickly know where u both are heading to as His true Colour will then Show.But for Someone being a Landlord of One of His Fathers house Selling Trucks and Trailers Yet Couldn't take you Home to Keep Him Company and Buy Air Conditioning devices to Keep His House Cool,even when Guys not even making up to that Could afford to. But gives an excuse of His house not being ventilated ain't that a Red Flag? Bcs the Guy Could be a Scam!!
That is if the Story isn't just made up though.

Okay. I will say this here: Me and this guy didn't even have sex everyone is saying. Of the 3 nights. He definitely didn't spend the first night with me. I made sure we went back home. Also, this guy works. He went to work during the day while I did mine at the hotel. He came at night and trust me, we didn't have sex. That's the first time we are seeing. And it didn't even like the sex was his goal too.

And I also wrote in the post that the 3rd night, we went to his house. We picked some bottle water and he picked the shirt he would wear the next day at work, but nobody is seeing that.


And I did not write it anywhere that I want him to propose to me now or discuss marriage plans.

But is he considering it. There are men out there in their 30's who aren't even considering it. If he is, then that's fine. It can happen 6 months, 1 year, 2 years. That's perfect. That's all I wrote.

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HBB1:
Just 2 months, and you are already thinking marriage?

Reeks of desperation.

...and so you know, OG is not ready for marriage.
He has told you so, if you think you will change his mind by gum-body...you will cry las las!

Enjoy single life, it is not a curse.
When you gave your purpose in life, the people that should come into your life will naturally gravitate towards you.

Go and sleep since u have chosen not to use your head.

I don't go into relationship without a purpose it doesn't mean it has to work or not.

If u give birth some day.... Save this advise for your babies. Tell them to go into relationships and have flings and have fun.

So what am I supposed to think of? Why would I go into a relationship if it's definitely not to settle down some day?

If you want to live your life anyhow, feel free to.

samwillyco1:
Ask him first
Secondly, I have a lots of friends that wants to settle down immediately if they see a good woman

Okay.. Thank you. I will.

Pakute:
God will save Nigerian men from hoes.

Amen.

Pakute:
I just knew there's something dirty about you until i viewed your earlier thread where your intention was all about preying on your victims in a relationship.
Miss complicated relationship, you always select your prey with a set trap beforehand. I can only hope the dude won't be pussy whipped into mortgaging his future. You are one fearless bitch, you know.

K.

1F30M4:
I understand that you want to define your relationship early enough but if he's giving these hints that he's not in anyway ready for something serious like marriage(anytime soon), I know it doesn't quite answer your question but actually it does partly. Indeed, marriage is hardwork, one may seem to be financially or emotionally ready but even that isn't enough as you also have to be mentally prepared for it. Not many are mentally ready which in itself is very very important I must say, some think either one of other two or both can suffice, it's really not so.

Yes the vibe may be there, you both love being in each other's company, he's sensible, very hardworking, probably ticks most boxes and all that but is this for the long run or just for the moment? I don't know, maybe don't stop "reading the room" to know if it's worthwhile..

Did you say you'll be seeing him for the second time soon? Great, I don't think it's too late to know a thing or more about him like his goals & interests, probably didn't get to do that the first time. You never know somebody enough, even married couples still learn new things about their SOs after 3,5,10yrs of friendship & marriage. It's good you know what you want, in recent times many just want to have fun, explore body counts and keep it going. Life goes on.

Thank you, Ifeoma.

MartinsD12:
Don't say you are not asking him to marry you , it's entirely not true , if you not asking him to marry you why raise the question of him getting married in a year or two , I read the post before putting out my opinion , am just being honest enough , if you don't want him to marry you then let him take his time , do the dating , have fun that's all , but marriage is not something anyone can force on any body.

Yeah. I will repeat myself. In two months time. I am definitely not having discussions about whether he wants to marry me or not. That's just too early.

I only want to know if he sees it happening and when.

Then if it falls into what I am looking at, the relationship continues. Each person will do their best. By then we must have built something meaningful.

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Pakute:
More impressive this is coming from a lady. But I disagree in a few areas. Dude has never promised her a thing neither has he made a commitment to her. The only red flag here is ngozi.

I would make this thread a case study for the next job seekers in my office and have them make a title out of her.

Are you still choking here?

Boomboost:
I like that the guy is very masculine and he has a traditional mindset which you may oppose, inadvertently. You seem independent so pretend to be dependent on him for some stuff, stroke his ego cos he's got a lot. No bring your feminism near am, just be feminine like in the normal good old days.

As for the love part, at 32, he has understood that when you return a woman's love, dem don see you finish. Immediately he starts showing real interest, you will start nonsense and it will go downhill and to him, it's another cycle of regret.

Work on your unstable love, cos maybe you could be just infatuated and all that's on your mind is a ring on your finger.

Thank you for your response. Hmmmm. You just saw through him. Yes. His ego is quite big. And I believe a woman should be submissive and that a man is the head. So a man takes the lead. That's very fine and perfect. I enjoy being feminine.

Lol... It's not infatuation. I have been through a lot because well, I trust too easily, perhaps somewhat naive and I give my all to one person. So, I am unable to play hard to get. So it's very easy for a guy to think she is cheap. Meanwhile, someone I don't want could ring me up for a year and I won't pick up. I have had people suggest trips outside the country, but I don't want them and I won't take from them, so nothing will happen.

But the one I like, well.. I give my all and it's only him. Just one person. Unfortunately, they take it for granted.

EndRape2:
Just two months you are all over him, aunty you u are getting old please have sense if this story is real because you do not have for now,

The first time you saw him, you spent three nights in the hotel room with him.

He does not pick your calls at night, red flags one

He does not tell you I love you when you say yours red flag two.

He says marriage is responsibility red flag three.
Anyway my best advice from all I have seen is that uncle just want to chop and clean mouth,
Anyway not all relationship will lead to marriage , just relax and enjoy the relationship.
Take marriage off your mind and be your best.

Thanks for highlighting the red flags.

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SIRTee15:
But u want to discuss it with him next time u guys meet and it's only 2 months. That's too soon for a normal dating pattern.

Look here, there's nothing wrong discussing marriage with a guy within 2 weeks of dating if both of u are on the same page of marriage.
That's why I said look for an eligible bachelor who wants to get married soon...them plenty.

That guy is not under pressure to get married, some even said he may be a married man preying on naive spinsters.

U know what u want, don't allow any man waste your time. Are u ready to spend 2 years of your life dating him with an unknown and unclear destination. If not why not cut your loss and move on.
The guy may be the best for u BUT are u the best for him?

As I said earlier, the guy wouldn't mind u being around so long as u service his engine. Nothing apart from this is certain at the moment.

Next time we see, I am not discussing marriage between us. Why will ask a guy if he wants to get married to me in two months. Why would I even bring up marriage plans btw me and himself within two months.


No. I only want to ask: So where do u see yourself in a year or Two. Do you think you see yourself settling down in a year or two. That's all I want to ask.

Not telling him I think we should start making marriage plans... No!

If he doesn't, then I don't want to be with that kind of person.

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Pakute:
Using 'we' as though she was married to him. "we can pay you bla bla ba". The only dream in your hollow head is the fantasy of the guy's wealth. Obviously, the only thing that makes your pussy dripping wet.

I'll pass over your offer, I'm a chattered accountant and I've seen a lot manipulation of cheap hoes like you. Desperate hoes like you would do just about anything to entrap a guy. I wish I knew the dude, he would dump your poverty- stricken ass the next minute.

Now, he is bragging. Well, you have the rest of the thread to yourself.... Say all u want. Whatever makes u sleep at night. U are not getting any response.

I hope someday u heal from the things that keep you up at night.

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Pakute:
Using 'we' as though she was married to him. "we can pay you bla bla ba". The only dream in your hollow head is the fantasy of the guy's wealth. Obviously, the only thing that makes your pussy dripping wet.

I'll pass over your offer, I'm a chattered accountant and I've seen a lot manipulation of cheap hoes like you. Desperate hoes like you would do just about anything to entrap a guy. I wish I knew the dude, he would dump your poverty- stricken ass the next minute.

The dreams in my head are all mine.... Like I said your thoughts radiate from your environment.

Hopefully u give birth to a daughter someday and her greatest aspiration is a man's wealth.

Think! think outside the box.

It's not money this, money that... Women want growth too. If not u won't hear all the big names of the women u hear today.

Come out of your small circle and open your eyes to the fact that some women want so much for themselves too.

..

GeneralDae:
Yeah of course you can ask him that.

Thank you�

Pakute:
olosho, you're acting the script of Linda lkeji. It's just a matter of a few more knacks before you entrap him with pregnancy. The guy has told you he's not ready yet, desperate gold digger.

What or who exactly you hurt you that's making you sound so retarded, depressed and dumb?

You sound so broken beyond repair. You could work in his company. We can pay u 30k monthly. I will add 10k. Hopefully, u still get some change to give to the cheap, dirty underage girls u sleep with. Perhaps u can upgrade from bribing them with 2k with something more meaningful, since we would be giving you 40k.

You mentality is only formed by your poor circle. One girl has forced pregnancy on your head right? I wonder how many girls have aborted for you.

You come from the slum: Reality. If not u won't be thinking this way.

Men of value want women of value and it's vice versa.

Imagine; get pregnant for a guy because of money?? Where did u come from??!

Duru009:
You seems to be NICE girl but DON'T let people deceive you that you're DESPERATE because you're not. You have the right to ask and know the direction of your relationship. From my observation, you LOVE him so much but it seems he likes you for NOW.
Since he has indicated 6 months I think personally is okay because 2 months will be too early to start asking anything about MARRIAGE, probably he doesn't want to disclose some certain things too early to you because of his PAST life. PLEASE give him attention and loyalty but if after 6 months NOTHING happens. Please "take a walk" before is too late, the earlier you save your sanity the better for you......

MARRIAGE is a SERIOUS business, MONEY is good no doubt but Compatibility and Communications are very very important...

From EXPERIENCE, there are some certain things he doesn't want to disclose to you now. Take that from me. YOU will certainly know later if you have PATIENCE.....

It's well dear, BEST of LUCK....

Thank you. I am not planning to ask him if he thinks we can get married or if he wants to get married to me. No, that's too early.

I only want to ask him where he sees himself in a year or two. If he sees himself getting married to whoever by then.

Lostchild:
ngoziwrites

Do you head to advice?

How would you be thinking of marriage when you don't even know the person ?

MY ADVICE to you is remove your mind from marriage when dealing with him.

Asked him a lot of questions, in fact don't be affraid to force him to answer your questions.

Don't talk about marriage. When he ask you any question related to marriage, just tell him that you are looking for a good man..

Don't let his success intimidate your heart.

Knows your worth and value and make sure you have good characters.

Don't waste your hard earn money on hotels.

Hello..... Thank you...

A lot of people got me wrong. I have not in any way concluded that I want to get married to him. Two months is way too early and marriage is more than butterflies.

But of cos, I see him as someone I can get married to. But as we get to know each other some more. Things could change.

I only mentioned some things I noticed about him. Also, I only want to know if he is considering marriage. Some guys aren't in 3-5 years. So he gives me that vibe.

If he is, then that should happen between 1 year to 2 years. Which is perfectly okay.

That's all I shared..... And so many responses filled with u want marriage. U want marriage. It's barely two months.

Eppking:
My dear OP,

I have followed your write ups all through with much calmness. I noticed two things about your reactions. 1: you want people to see things the as you see them. 2: You react to negative comments in a way that shows you don't welcome criticism.

You are definitely not the only one in this kind of dilemma right now. I currently have a Bossom friend (lady) in your shoes as I type this.

I will advise you on three things and I believe it would reveal the true intentions of your BF as the days rolls by

1: if you have started having sex or have the intent of sexual encounters, please put a pause/ stop to it. What this does it to help you have mental and physiological balance and control over the situationship.

With what I have you seem to have strong affinity for him. This may be romance or some kind of likeness that would end up in bed. With this, having strong affinity for someone of the opposite sex makes you a prey and whatever comes out of it, blame yourself for the unnecessary weakness.

2: Ask less questions during convo. I have come to realise that men millennials don't forget their last answer to a kind certain questions. They know when a lady wants to be smart and witty and that gives them an edge.

You would be wandering why I said ask less questions! The reason is to give allowance Inorder for him to ask more questions. Smart guys wants to know what makes a lady a true lady for them. They know by the responses when they ask smart questions. Work on your responses and do not be quiet and timid during serious convo.

I want to believe he is careful about marriage especially when it is put to him as a topic of discussion by a lady he is still studying... There are guys like that. They don't talk about it when it is not coming from them.

3: Never ever turn down any date with him, I mean with this guy in your write up. I smile as I type this... This is a golden rule especially with principled men, they come with surprises on dates. Watch out and tread carefully.

Lastly as bonus. Open your doors to other guys as long as the man has not put a ring on it. Don't get me wrong oo.. I don't mean you should have multiple sex partners oo. Make yourself available to others potential suitors as I enumerate below.

You are already placed in a position of visibility, where those who earn above you would most likely be the one to come for you. This is because, they feel it would be less effort to have control over you in relationship and marriage. My dear that is how life is somehow fashioned in our clime. Your mum would be able to explain better.

More importantly, at 26, you should live your life to the fullest. Travel alone and travel wide (foreign). Club alone, I mean not with friends. Visit the mall alone and showcase your beauty (not on social media). Try this for 6 months and see your suitors double.

The trick here is that....

Thank you..... I do not ask him sensitive questions.

Sadly, I am part of those who date and will be unable to open there heart to others.

Fiscus105:
Lower ur guard and humble urself, if not the character in ur script would end up like INI Edo. (Sperm donnor) her own case even worse than bastard

Lol... Would it make you happy if the guy was earning 150k?

But why?

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Fiscus105:
With time u shall understand philosophy of life and very unfortunately only few guys are in ur league, little wonder, u bcom a slave for Facebook guy.

I am glad you went through my profile to read. Of course, that should tell u I have no problem lending a helping hand. As I do not believe a man is a provider and the woman is the helper. Anybody can be any of these.

Cesclxg:
You sound proud, though. Saying things like u can't get married earning 120k. Just be thankful u earn well and don't belittle people earning less.

It is a pity that you are so naive still. A man takes u to the hotel and bangs the hell outta u. And u guys don't have any deep and meaningful conversation. So what the fvck do u guys talk about?

Yes. I will say it again. I will not get married to someone earning less than 120 and I will not also get married to someone earning that. It's not pride.

You don't know where people are coming from.

I have worked for 20,000 naira monthly. I have worked for 4 months and I didn't get paid.

I have had months of crazy depression because I didn't have a job. I have shed tears, if there was any way it would have turned to blood, all because I wanted a way out. I have had it all too and it hurt. I have started from the scratch. I have done jobs that took me from main land to island. 3 hours in the morning inside traffic. 3 hours back at night. I get home 12am. 11pm.

You don't know people's past. It's not proud and during those period, I knew I would come out of it and I did not think of marriage.

And till now, I only said I want to date with purpose (Marriage). That's what any sensible person should be. I am not a random girl who would just get into a relationship and just be having fun and all that. It needs to be defined.

That's my point...

Fiscus105:
You see, person like not misinterpreted you OK. In age, relationship and marriage, the gap btw me and huge is wide, in fact ,I misunderstand you more than information you released. I keep telling u that guy would not be a good husband, provided he is not married, I still insist that his achievements are the factors that driving u crazy. I also insist that you are selling urself to bondage of marriage if you dear.

Let me ask you question you dodged wen I first asked u before ur story hit front page.......If this guy is earning 120k or less with no car, will you be soft like this for him? Having considered ur own status as well?

I have been with people earning less.

As a woman I will not get married earning 120k. So yeah, I cannot get married to a man earning that.

Both of us will work our way to the top