₦airaland Forum

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Goddessofthesea:
You've only known him for two months, don't you think it is too early to want to get married to him. Get to know him more....who knows..you may end up not liking him again.

Even if he loves you, you need to ask him if you are someone he would love to settle down with.

A lot of people misunderstood me. I am considering erasing the post. That's if I can as it has been moved to front page.

Right from the beginning, everyone knows if they see a future with someone. Then time can reveal otherwise.

So, I am not in anyway saying my mind is made up to be with him.. I only saying I do see a future with him. I won't date someone if I don't. Time can reveal otherwise.

I am only pointing out some of the things I have noticed and would like to know if he is also considering marriage. If he is not in the next 1-2 years. Then that doesn't fit into what I want.

If he is, then we can take our time, work towards it and see if it works.

I am not saying I want to get married today today today..

So sickening.

Virus20:
If I was the guy ,I will run away ,any woman that I meet that put marriage as a first criteria,I flee from immediately.Anything done under rush doesn't last . Some women are so desperate that they are ready to pay for bride price .

I didn't in any where write that I am putting marriage first.

I only said I would love to be in a relationship with someone who is considering marriage. Not someone who is not considering it at all.

omolasho:
You see the problem. You need to ask yourself when you want to marry and not him. You are even thinking of marrying a guy you are not free to out your mind with, all because of what you hope to benefit. Just calm down o

What will I possibly benefit? Am I supposed to go into marriage because I want to milk my husband dry? Or I want to have several real estates from his Money? Where is the sense?

Benefit what, exactly?

Unfortunately, several guys here have been with leeches and it has rid you all of ideal thinking.

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stuffs4me:
Truth hurts abi?

Yes. Truth hurts. But yours doesn't. It's a far cry from the truth. So, I can't relate.

If you had said something close to the truth, it would have.

stuffs4me:
Gold-digger spoted.

If that makes you sleep better at nightm

SIRTee15:
Too many red flags. Besides the guy is not really into u like that. And it's too early to be bugging someone u barely know with marriage.
If u are desperate for marriage, look for someone who's also desperate like yourself.

For now u are a side chick to the guy. Things may change in the future but at the moment he only needs u to satisfy his sexual urge. Simple.
All this talk about him not ready for marriage is just a way of putting u off. Let him meet otedola daughter and see whether story will not change.
I'm a guy, it's a familiar game we've all played.

We don't discuss marriage.

Lenient001:
Girls!!!

If that guy is a poor person. She wouldn't be thinking of marrying him. All she would be craves for is to finish his sweat and drop the left over.
Don't be scared girl. You shall be judged with what u did for the one u were dating before u left for the big bag.

I would gladly loved to be judged with anything I did to any of my exes. I wish to be judged with whatever by then and I hope nature and fate makes it happen.

Maybe by then, I will get back all the sincerity and love I have given out.

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Kuriosmynd:
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I'm really sorry for this girl. Honestly. That guy gonna play her big time. She really needs an experienced guy to guide her. And funny enough I know this lady. She's just a good down to earth girl. But relationship sense, she no get

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SarutobiEky:
you're even gloating.. lol. No worry.. pride goeth before the fall. Remember that. You sound like a very proud human being. I wish you good luck.

I am not proud. It's so easy for you to hurl insult at someone and call them desperate..

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TheWolfen:
No need to rush into marriage.
Dude is taking his time
I think you should do same too as to know him more better. . .
6 months is just 6months and not 6 years okay, so relax.

It is okay to ask questions but don't rush him else he might pull away.

I wonder what u guys are reading though. Where and how did I say I am rushing him to get married? I only said I want to know if he is considering it. I would love to be with someone who is considering it. Then it can happen within a year of even two. That's fine.

But it's a totally different thing if he isn't considering marriage soon.

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MallamChukwudi:
@ngoziwrites, you're not desperate, it only seems like you're asking in the wrong place. If he is ready for marriage, within six months to a year, he will. Also, a sure way to avoid pain and disappointment is to be honest with yourself, regardless of the outcome.

According to you, he has hinted that marriage is not for him, and doesn't seems like he wants it anytime soon. Why refuse reality? Disregarding these obvious signs are self-deceit, and you only postponed it's bites. Ask him, "what is the future of the relationship"?, and if he gives obscure answer, then ask directly, when he plans to get married.

Waiting unnecessarily is wrong. You're not desperate to want marriage, but if you're with someone that doesn't wants it, it would seem as such. Also, I refuse to believe that he doesn't know your desire, I swear, he knows. Which makes me wonder, if he loves you as you believed, then why don't he define the relationship or just let you go?

Thank you. Trust me. He isn't even going to see me as desperate. I haven't asked him any sensitive question at all.

I am just writing my fears and thoughts here.

I even wrote that if he says he wants marriage in a year, that's perfect. Even 2 years, it's fine
I wrote all that. Unfortunately, they chose not to see that.

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Nat404:
Exactly. I totally agree with you. If a man doesn't take you to his house, it means something is fishy.

I just want to know what he has in mind. I stated it in my post that a year is fine. Even two years, if needs be. But I only prefer within a year... So does he even have it in mind yet.

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brain54:
Well the relationship is still very young at two months...but still it's better you guys sit and talk about these issues at the on set so both of you are on same page on the direction you guys are taking the relationship to.
Both don't sound too desperate about the marriage talk to him. So he won't see it as been pressured.
All the best.

Yes. I don't sound desperate. I have never even mentioned any of these things. Anytime he says things like marriage is hardwork or probably any topic related to marriage, I don't say anything at all.

I just think I should ask now, so we are sure we are looking in the same direction.

Usually, people start relationships with asking a lot of questions. But we didn't start that way. I thought we would even ask basic questions when we see. But we didn't.

He hasn't asked my goals, my plans etc. I want to ask to but he is the one with more power in the relationship. It's his call. So, I can't ask him.

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He doesn't talk about these things. I would love to know his plans, goals etc but we don't talk about it.

Sometimes I say do u know we haven't had some deep discussion. He says these things aren't planned

So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

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Bigpapi:
Before nko? Are you single...u this cheerful giver

Grow up. Even if no one can see your face, put on a robe of integrity, class and composure.

Homeboiy:
Una first dey do am before nah

I don't. Never done such. That's why he gave me that advise. Told me I have been doing it wrongly.

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