Hi Guys,
This might not sound as a big issue but it seems like its getting out of hand. She is now 26 and I recently stumbled on a picture of her when she was 20. Believe you me, she was just slightly creamy then and she was PRETTY!!! She is now white,  as in Michael Jackson white. Well,  sometimes, red-white   

I now go out of my way to research the internet to find skin healing products because of all the tiger-stripes-like stretch marks and disgusting eczemas she developed from the over-use and over-combination of these creams and soaps. I even bought the ones I could find around e.g. Bio-oil, palmer's stretch mark remover and jergens shea butter skin healing cream.

I suspect she is still using the products because they have a perculiar irritating smell and I still perceive it on her and she turns red just after a few minutes expose to direct sunlight. I have come out clear to her that I hate the idea of skin bleaching and outlined the dangers (including skin cancer, leaukamia, mercury poisoning, liver problems, stretch marks eczema, infertility, miscarriages and still births).

My major concern is her health and our future when it comes to begin our own family but she is completely clueless. What else can I do to help her? It has obviously become a psychologically compulsive need for her.

I know a lot of people are going through similar struggles with cream use and over-use. Its possible people indulge in such for greater acceptance by society. Truth is,  Black is Beautiful. What is your take on this issue Guys?

My dear I sympathise with you and Im happy you are trying to help her. Why not go with her to dermatologist so they can really tell her the danger of skin bleaching? Gosh we as a black society should stop being brainwashed by the white or light mentality is the best. Im believe she was teased as a kid about her skin and unfortunately it pushed her into destroying her skin

Ebonyeyes:

My dear I sympathise with you and Im happy you are trying to help her. Why not go with her to dermatologist so they can really tell her the danger of skin bleaching? Gosh we as a black society should stop being brainwashed by the white or light mentality is the best. Im believe she was teased as a kid about her skin and unfortunately it pushed her into destroying her skin

Its not only her skin its detroying, I guess her psyche, her health and self-esteem also. I feel so sad that there is nothing immediate I can do to help her.

Someone once told me to threaten to breakup the relationship if she doesn't change her cosmetic line. I didn't use that approach. Instead, I decided change it for her.

You are obviously a loving person. I think taking her to the dermatologist will achieve something because they will tell her the damage those things are doing to her skin, they will also show her pictures of people who have bleached their skin and this may scare her into giving up.

Where are you located because maybe she needs a therapist to help her build up self esteem. I still think she was teased and bulled about her skin when she was younger.

lagos_boy:

Hi Guys,
This might not sound as a big issue but it seems like its getting out of hand. She is now 26 and I recently stumbled on a picture of her when she was 20. Believe you me, she was just slightly creamy then and she was PRETTY!!! She is now white, as in Michael Jackson white. Well, sometimes, red-white

Holly Ghost what the hell is she thinking?

@Ebonyeyes
Thanks a lot. I'll definitely arrange a visit to a dermatologist. But I guess I can take up as her therapist after that (lol).

get her to stop. at first when they start using it, they glow and what not, then it's all fine and dandy. but after a couple of years then u start seeing the adverse effects. especially in the older ladies with their messed up faces.
what do u mean by slightly creamy? 


anyways, get her to stop. the therapy shouldn't be after seeing the dermatologist. you should start asap. it's like with anorexia. you have to change the sick person's frame of mind first, otherwise, all the medicine in the world won't make them stop.
and buy her a strong sunscreen. like 50spf that gives both UVA and UVB protection so that she doesn't incur more damage that she already did. she should wear it everyday over her moisturizer, especially if she goes out in the sun.
also get her to start drinking tea (i don't mean milk and bournvita. actual green tea lol ) and foods that contain plenty antioxidants because i heard those reverse skin damage.
another thing is you could buy her a nice face cream. one of those fancy ones that make your face soft and glowy. they're expensive but at least it'll make her feel pretty without being unhealthy. check the ingredients though and make sure it doesn't contain bleaching agents.
ex. estee lauder face cream or one of those  nice fancy creams she'll appreciate and use as a healthy substitute for the more dangerous ones she's currently using

I agree with Oyinda. She might want to include Vitamin C (2000mg) and Vitamin E (400IU) tablets. Vitamin C is an antioxidant and Vitamin E is very good for skin healing.

I don't know what it is with this bleaching!! I know a girl here 25 with burn scars and browns spots because of bleachingg!! I mean yuck!! I could never!,I love my skin, naomi campbell the top leading modrl has wonderful chocolate skin, why would I want to mess mine up?

platnumnk.:

I don't know what it is with this bleaching!! I know a girl here 25 with burn scars and browns spots because of bleachingg!! I mean yuck!! I could never!,I love my skin, naomi campbell the top leading modrl has wonderful chocolate skin, why would I want to mess mine up?

Ebony beauties rock I agree Naomi is still stunning at nearly 40 while her white colleagues of the same age are all plastic surgeried up.

Thanks for breaking it all down ladies, my girl should meet you guys

@oyinda

oyinda.:

what do u mean by slightly creamy?  

Was looking for a color to qualify her without saying 'yellow' coz she was not.

You are a good boyfriend other Negros would have jumped ship yesterday

Well me i go talk too,

Is she ashamed of her color?

Damn ! maybe she is, but be warned you all knw hw MJ went all in the name of these,


Keri Hilson: Dis is bad, real bad micheal jackson

So the same goes to her !

Cocoa butter may also help to even out the skin.

I'm astonished to what extent you ladies know how to care for the skin even all these scientific names of the skin nourising agent in certain products.

@chaircover (interesting pseudoname )

chaircover:

Personally for me the secret to good skin is not in the creams but making sure that every trace of make up is removed before I go to bed. I also take Vitamin E 1000 and Evening Primrose capsules.

Come to think of it, my girl loves wearing makeup. Like white powder over brown over foundation, eye pencil, maskara, kajal, etc. I guess I would suggest dat to her also. Thanks

Youre a good guy I must say. Its impressive that youd try to help her.
´Like everyone here has suggested, you guys should go see a dermatologist. No one else can advice you better.
But once a black person goes Micheal Jackson, theres no turning back, cos the pigmentation has been bleached so to speak. So bear in mind she wont ever be black, but getting her help can help her skin recover.
Someone also suggested sunscreen which I'd recomend too, but do nothing without advice from a dermatologist.

On your own, if you get her to listen to you, she should drop makeup completely and change her diet and drink at least 3.5litres of water daily.
Tomato works wonders for the skin. I eat like 2 a day, raw or boiled, but not fried. You'd be shocked at the difference in appearance after just a week.

Also shea butter and uv creams are also good

lagos_boy, i applaud your concern for your lady!

seriously, does she think her skin looks good with all the scarring? 
sorry to say, but she's done a LOT of damage, from what uve described.

for her skin:
shea butter! cocoa butter!
aloe vera gel sooths iritated skin. it sounds like her skin is very irritated.
vitamin E oil.
african black soap.

to take internally:
fish oil supplements do wonders.
she needs to be eating good fish that has a lot of omega 3 and omega 6. fish like tilapia and salmon.
vitamin B supplements.
vitamin C supplements
eat lots of apples. the antioxidants keep the skin fresh.
she should drink lemon juice. lemons help to remove damaged skin.
carrot juice removes blemishes.
she should drink green tea. LOTS OF IT.


after 8 months, her skin will be looking more normal.
but keep up the good work. 

Hmm, Guy you've tried your best,

africhika:

lagos_boy, i applaud your concern for your lady!

seriously, does she think her skin looks good with all the scarring? 
sorry to say, but she's done a LOT of damage, from what uve described.

for her skin:
shea butter! cocoa butter!
aloe vera gel sooths iritated skin. it sounds like her skin is very irritated.
vitamin E oil.
african black soap.

to take internally:
fish oil supplements do wonders.
she needs to be eating good fish that has a lot of omega 3 and omega 6. fish like tilapia and salmon.
vitamin B supplements.
vitamin C supplements
eat lots of apples. the antioxidants keep the skin fresh.
she should drink lemon juice. lemons help to remove damaged skin.
carrot juice removes blemishes.
she should drink green tea. LOTS OF IT.


after 8 months, her skin will be looking more normal.
but keep up the good work. 

That might help, though I doubt if it would cure the scars!

You are going about this the wrong way. Just find a poster of michael Jackson and paste it where she will always see it.

oh, shea/cocoa butters & aloe vera gel will definitely get the scars.

africhika:

oh, shea/cocoa butters & aloe vera gel will definitely get the scars.

Hmm, then he's lucky then,

bidemi12:

You are going about this the wrong way. Just find a poster of michael Jackson and paste it where she will always see it.

Damn! Don't she know black is beautiful? We have been going through so much as a race because of our color. We need to embrace it. Its beautiful. White people try to get out skin color all the time. I couldn't count how many times I heard white say they love my skin color and they wish they had it. Im not all that dark, Im in the middle. My mom is the light skinned woman, and she wishes she had my tone.

Poster, just get her some help, stick with her. You are doing a great job thus far. Its really a pity.

Ebonyeyes:

Ebony beauties rock I agree Naomi is still stunning at nearly 40 while her white colleagues of the same age are all plastic surgeried up.

It's one thing to praise dark skin but why do you have to trash whites?  Do you ethnocentrics not get tired of this?

blacks don't get plastic surgery right?

u know what it nat about her health the kids she will av are gonna pay dearly with their lives, it culd be cancer or birth defects! ppl wana feel among yet they neva find out the implication of their actions!

@ poster , u've really tried , i must say , left to me i would have left for good long ago.

ur Gal Friend wants to turn to those Idumota Alhaja's

lol

They may be her role model, anything Can happen

To get out of addiction isnt easy.U'll hav to do alot of counselling&perssuation&pray she listens

bawomolo:

It's one thing to praise dark skin but why do you have to trash whites?  Do you ethnocentrics not get tired of this?

blacks don't get plastic surgery right?

Spot on. When white people say the same thing about them, they will start crying.