My sob story: My wife came on my behalf (living somewhere else now) to the US in November only for me to find out that she was 8 months pregnant, and the baby is not mine  . Last time i was in Naija was Spring 2005. She had a baby in January 2007.

One thing that have always baffled me is that i have been having a lot of my friends telling me to go home again and bring another wife. It supposed to be "better option". Just inching my way back into the dating procreation  scene. Why was i getting this type of advise? What happened to our ladies here? (overseas i mean)

Funny thing is that i was getting same type of suggestion/advise even from friends in the UK. Can someone shed a light on this or may be i am missing a point.

promisse


well most people, particularly guys go home to get married because it is easier to ge a wife. u dont have to waste too much time chasing her, adn for a while she will be submissive to u. sorry about ur situation but remember, ur first wife came to the US and got pregnant
well if u go home and marry again will u leave that one there or bring her to the US?

katherinae's response is absolutely daft.
she want claim say she sabi the minds of all the 9ja guys wey dey abroad.

Ol boy, I go advise you say if you fit stand woman wey go share headship of family with you, make you marry woman wey too wise. But if you want a real wife as 9ja sabi wife, make you go find better wife for 9ja.
However make you careful for 9ja o. becos many girls dey for 9ja wey go flock around you if dem sabi say you come from abroad. You need to seek out babe wey never spoil and wey no dey materialistic. I sabi say the thing wey I dey talk no easy but e dey possible.

Take care bro

promise


listening to fools like Justuseless(justgood) will just put u in the same situation u are in now. there is absolutely nothing wrong with going home to find a wife. u know this ewu justusellss is an olodo, ur post was why do they go home to get married not how to go home and get married. but this idiotic, mororo with as ass for a brain clearly did not read ur post properly. like i said before. u picked ur wife because u thought she was the best of the best, and u carried her from nigeria and brought her to the US, and look at what happened. My friend told me her uncle married a born again christian from nigeria (the girl claimed to be innocent, even looked the part) then they are in teh US, for some reason this chick cant give birth. one day at a party, among all these doctors, the woman just starts crying and spills to the guy that she had over 8 abortions. Hmm really sad. u know the same way there are no perfect men is the way there are no perfect women. but marriage should not be trial and error. I wish u the best of luck, take ur time and dont listen to ur friends. the last thing u want is to go and marry a girl back home bring her to the states, and then u are gettin a divorce tomorrow. it happens everyday, i hear of it all the time. this is going to be tough for u but place is it God's hands.

promise


listening to fools like Justuseless(justgood) will just put u in the same situation u are in now. there is absolutely nothing wrong with going home to find a wife. u know this ewu justusellss is an olodo, ur post was why do they go home to get married not how to go home and get married. but this idiotic, mororo with as ass for a brain clearly did not read ur post properly. like i said before. u picked ur wife because u thought she was the best of the best, and u carried her from nigeria and brought her to the US, and look at what happened. My friend told me her uncle married a born again christian from nigeria (the girl claimed to be innocent, even looked the part) then they are in teh US, for some reason this chick cant give birth. one day at a party, among all these doctors, the woman just starts crying and spills to the guy that she had over 8 abortions. Hmm really sad. u know the same way there are no perfect men is the way there are no perfect women. but marriage should not be trial and error. I wish u the best of luck, take ur time and dont listen to ur friends. the last thing u want is to go and marry a girl back home bring her to the states, and then u are gettin a divorce tomorrow. it happens everyday, i hear of it all the time. this is going to be tough for u but place is it God's hands.

na only 2 times you post am o.
post am 10 times more for emphasis.

promise, make u no mind this woman o. ask am as she do her own sef before she begin advise

Justuseless

two times is enough, i am afraid u might not be able to handle that much vocabulary if i posted it 10 times.

u wey neva live ya life succesfully dey want advise other ppl.
u want lead pple to gutter wey u sef don enter already.
i say u get big time goat flu

@ Promise,

Before your thread gets out of hand, here is some sincere advice for you. It doesn't matter where you get the woman from. There are good and bad women everywhere in the world. What you need is guidance from God, and then wherever you decide, take time to study a woman and get to know her well before you get married.

If you go to Nigeria, don't spend two weeks there, sample women like fish in the market and then pick one - that will just land you in trouble. I would suggest a courtship of at least six months when both of you are in the same location. If it is practical for you to do that in Nigeria, then i'd say fine, if not stay where you are and ask God to provide a good wife for you.

since i came here to study i find that the guys here are real players, not saying there are no players in naija, but in the uk nah its too much and they are so tighttttttttt with everything lol.
seriously though i would rather marry someone in Nigeria, anyway i will be going back soon as i am done, because i think those at home are more serious with life . the ones here are a let down. they serious are, no ambition, waste of space and money bunch.

Weep not Stilettos, if u try me, then u'll change your opinion about uk-based naija guys

i think most guys go back to marry 'cause they've started the process before their trip abroad, others feel home-based girls are better groomed. Sometimes many singles may be isolated by their busy career that they have little time to socialize and only left with an option of getting referrals from home

I don't have preference though, naija or abroad i don't care, but she must have that 'nigerianess' (whatever that means) in her. And seriously i don't cherish, chips, KFC or Burger King, she must be a garri & correct ogbono soup fan , a xteristic lacking in most naija babes born abroad

lmao

Thats not true honey. I can cook a list of naija food the length of my arm anyday and guess what I thought myself a lot of it (thanks to the internet and friends) I am not nigerian. I serve my husband his dinner etc etc.

I just don't know why these well established guys go to villages in the middle of nowhere and find an illiterate wife that has eyes closed. Well I guess if I were a man I would go for the most patient, submissive, forgiving, non judgemental ladies that will basically let her husband away with murder. Sure what man wouldn't want that. Fresh soup daily, multiple mistresses and numberous pleasure sprees about without his wife. Who wouldn't want that.

[color=#006600][/color][b][/b][i][/i] i think becos there are so few good ladies abroad. Honestly,come to southy and see naija ladies whose fiancees or husbands are in Nigeria or somewhere else, THEY F*** all around cheaply,

They wont give in/not summive like the ones in 9ja. My wifey is in 9ja but i cant date a naija lady abroad at all, they are so loose and cheap

@Poster
It has been almost a year now.  Any luck?

I feel your pain.  MOST men and women who have spent more that 3 years in America or UK are not marriage materials.  Now this is just ma observation. For one simple reason---THEY HAVE BECOME DAMAGED GOODS- from too much stress of adjusting to the culture shock and several forms identity crises.  If I were I guy or lady--I will definitely try my hands on the "virgins" in Nigeria first with all the risks--as you have dutifully encountered.

Most of them do not even know whom they are any more. 

The flip side of it is that you are stuck with those " ALOKO-DO-ME-WELLS- over there in Nigeria--the fasters and prayers who may be pregnant as you are being introduced to them.

Bottom line, you have tried one from the other side and it kind of went "burst".  Try the psychos from this end.  With the right medications and under the right clinical conditions--you might just get it right.


But errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr---Goodluck sha!

Just viewed your profile.  Are you certain you are in the US?   For true, for true?


Happy Holidays!

Stilettos:

since i came here to study i find that the guys here are real players, not saying there are no players in naija, but in the uk nah its too much and they are so tighttttttttt with everything lol.

seriously though i would rather marry someone in Nigeria, anyway i will be going back soon as i am done, because i think those at home are more serious with life . the ones here are a let down. they serious are, no ambition, waste of space and money bunch.

Sister na you talk am!  Thank God I carry ma own come from Naija when I come over.  I cannot even imagine dating any of these dudes here who have lived over here for more than 3 years not to talk of 20 years! Most of them have mental problems after being dealt with by akata over and over again.  Full of games!

I would gladly go to Agenegbode and bring one village dude over--before he knows what is happening--about 3-5 children are on his neck--if he wan run make im make sure im carry all the children with am!  Shikena!

Now that it has been some 10 years and more--I have become mental like most of them so we can gladly hook up.   No more bushmeats--only for marriage purposes-not for dating!  Bush meat season is over!

almondjoy:



I would gladly go to agenegbode and bring one village dude over--before he knows what is happening--about 3-5 children are on his neck--if he wan run make im make sure im carry all the children with am! Shikena!

lmao hehe aj no go kill pesin.lol

@ topic i guess i have no contribution except to .am neither a guy nor am i living in UK .
goodluck to all the dudes over there.

I Dont know why people especially men don't learn.
They always say the good girls are in nija - the girls tha respect their men, cook, clean blah blah blah.

There arent any decent girls in nija - and the ones that are left have been tainted by the bad ones. These days, even 14 year olds don't have good reputation.

If u do get a decent girl from abroad, at least when she starts to mess up you know how to handle her. You know that when she pissess you off, just leave her for a while she will calm down.
You at least know that she couldnt get any worse, her bad character couldnt get worse.
You know her every bad character. Not to talk of all the money that will be spent.

But a girl you us4ed  know, omo leave that one. Any girl from nija now is desperate, she knows that going abroad is her salvation (so she thinks). She pretends till se gets here, gets her papers, blah blah and then shows u what she is truly made of.

I have heard of people bringing their spouses from nija but i am yet to hear a happy ending - they have all ended in bad bad situations.

So the moral of the story is the witch u no is better than the one u don't.

No offence to any decent nija girls left in nija o - am just calling it like i see it.

Oh yeah and as for the guysthat feel that you have messed up all the girls where you are at and then u can go to nija and marry a saint - God go judge all of una.

I believe it also depends on the upbringing of the lady not only whether she's in Nigeria or stationed abroad. I can understand why guys perfer to go back to Nigeria to get a bride having lived in the UK for a while. Except the guy is really desperate to get papers by marrying a foreigner, his preference is always to get a decent Nigerian girl. Even those that marry for papers end up marrying a Nigerian after a while.

The culture and lifestyle abroad is totally different from home. When you think about how you want your children to be brought up, the obvious option is to give them an identity, morals, values and a sense of family life. The economic situation in Nigeria has made veryone desperate, not just the ladies alone, so we shouldn't blame any girl for being desperate. Who doesn't want a better life. We are partly responsible for their behaviours because we give people back home the wrong impression about life here. Except you're a yahoo boy, life is hard and the hard currency is hard to make.

My advice is to prayerfully seek a girl that is well brought up regardless of where she is naija or abroad. A desperate girl that is well brought up in Nigeria would realise the situation when she comes abroad and adjust accordingly. A selfish, unsupporting girl will pretend of course and ruin you when she comes here.

Having said that, you can find decent Nigerians abroad to marry, the only thing is that they may not be able to cook the egusi and ogbono the way you like it . You can find out 7 Reasons why I married my wife here http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/wife-marriage

because wherever you go in life ile labo simi oko

odiaseo:

I believe it also depends on the upbringing of the lady not only whether she's in Nigeria or stationed abroad. I can understand why guys perfer to go back to Nigeria to get a bride having lived in the UK for a while. Except the guy is really desperate to get papers by marrying a foreigner, his preference is always to get a decent Nigerian girl. Even those that marry for papers end up marrying a Nigerian after a while.

The culture and lifestyle abroad is totally different from home. When you think about how you want your children to be brought up, the obvious option is to give them an identity, morals, values and a sense of family life. The economic situation in Nigeria has made veryone desperate, not just the ladies alone, so we shouldn't blame any girl for being desperate. Who doesn't want a better life. We are partly responsible for their behaviours because we give people back home the wrong impression about life here. Except you're a yahoo boy, life is hard and the hard currency is hard to make.

My advice is to prayerfully seek a girl that is well brought up regardless of where she is naija or abroad. A desperate girl that is well brought up in Nigeria would realise the situation when she comes abroad and adjust accordingly. A selfish, unsupporting girl will pretend of course and ruin you when she comes here.

Having said that, you can find decent Nigerians abroad to marry, the only thing is that they may not be able to cook the egusi and ogbono the way you like it . You can find out 7 Reasons why I married my wife here http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/wife-marriage

Word, very reasonable.

@topic

It doesn't matter where the girl is based, Nigeria or Abroad. its the upbringing, character and values she possesses that matters.

Just viewed your profile. Are you certain you are in the US ?   For true  ,for true [quote][/quote]

~ lol 

Most Naija girls abroad are not marriage materials - get or buy the milk but under no circumstance should you buy the cow.

RichyBlacK:

Most Naija girls abroad are not marriage materials - get or buy the milk but under no circumstance should you buy the cow.

Bwoy, you had me in stitches!!!!!!!!!

RichyBlacK:

Most Naija girls abroad are not marriage materials - get or buy the milk but under no circumstance should you buy the cow.

you think the ones you import are better? if only you knew!

RichyBlacK:

Most Naija girls abroad are not marriage materials - get or buy the milk but under no circumstance should you buy the cow.

I agree!  Just like the men.   Anyone that has lived abroad for more than 3 years without getting married--is damaged good.  Students included!!!   I have said it before and I am saying it again.  Like American Express suggests.


Don't Leave Home Without It!


Never leave Nigeria without a spouse!  You will only succeed in settling for "dregs" used and abused if you hook up with ones over here. You will surely regret it.  Yes!  I am generalizing--make una do una worst!

Now if you are in the advanced stages of Bachelorhood or Spinsterhood--like that kind of 30s-40s--Please don't bother.  Just sit here and keep recycling yourselves till death takes you guys.   No need to go and import at all.  You have been way too damaged by akatas and jammos to function even averagely. You will only compound your problems I swear to God! Just keep masturbating abeg!

almondjoy:

I agree! Just like the men. Anyone that has lived abroad for more than 3 years without getting married--is damaged good. Students included!!! I have said it before and I am saying it again. Like American Express suggests.


Don't Leave Home Without It!


Never leave Nigeria without a spouse! You will only succeed in settling for "dregs" used and abused if you hook up with ones over here. You will surely regret it. Yes! I am generalizing--make una do una worst!

Now if you are in the advanced stages of Bachelorhood or Spinsterhood--like that kind of 30s-40s--Please don't bother. Just sit here and keep recycling yourselves till death takes you guys. No need to go and import at all. You have been way too damaged by akatas and jammos to function even averagely. You will only compound your problems I swear to God! Just keep masturbating abeg!

LMAO

^{*checking my passport/last naija entry stamp. . .I go soon pass expiry date! *}

na wa oh! abroadians don suffer for your hand almond

@ Almondjoy,

I am no damaged good. . . . . . I was too young to marry after spending more than 3 years abroad so where does that leave me?
U need to re-assess ur postulation before things get outta hand.

@ Debosky,

You have exceeded the expiry date already, mate!
The last time i checked, u went to Canada in 1987.
21 years of damaged good is irrepairable.
Whatchu gonna do?

Chacal:

@ Almondjoy,

I am no damaged good. . . . . . I was too young to marry after spending more than 3 years abroad so where does that leave me?
You need to re-assess your postulation before things get out of hand.

@ Debosky,

You have exceeded the expiry date already, mate!
The last time i checked, u went to Canada in 1987.
21 years of damaged good is irrepairable.
Whatchu going to do?

do it naija stylee - sworn affidavit showing I left naija in 2007

most naija men know how to hussle beta than the uk breed ones. This is from the men I have met.

debosky:

do it naija stylee - sworn affidavit showing I left naija in 2007

Interesting!
Now i know why Adebayor is ONLY 23 years of age.

@ Naja Haje,

What is your definition of hussle?
If it's what i think it is . . . . I am yet to meet any Naija breed that can stand toe to toe with me!!!