My father always allowed extended family to interfere with his marriage and our family - he would sit back while they insulted us even as children - and paid the price for it.

I personally don't see the point of bothering to get married if you aren't going to put your spouse and your new family first. You are absolutely write OP.

London based peeps, there is a film festival called Film Africa going on right now and they will play a Nigerian film 'Dazzling Mirage', starring Kunle Afolyan on 7th November at Ritzy Brixton. Also the director Tunde Kelani is going to be there.
Let's go and support!

http://www.filmafrica.org.uk/dazzling-mirage-uk-premiere/

Logician:


Ok. But let her understand that plane clashes not because it is small but because its an accident or faulty. People travel by helicopter on daily basis and those are really smaller than than what your mum referred to as small. Sorry about your relatives though.

Thanks for the condolences. I think it's more the airline services that fly intra-Nigeria than the size of them. They tend to be small which is why I described them that way. But you are right that any plane can be faulty.

ammyluv2002:
Haba! How can you compare fried rice and palm oil rice?


Well, I recommend Anambra Express and The Young #myopinion

Because fried rice and palm oil rice are the only options on table I know it sounds stupid because they are completely different but I just want some opinions on which one is safer. I should have mentioned that we've lost some fam on intra-Naija flights in the recent past so my mum's not keen on flying. I just wanted to hear from people that have travelled similar distances (and ideally to and from similar locations) what they would usually do. Thanks for the recommendation.

Logician:
What are you going to do in Anambra?v ask your host there where anambra airport is located. If you you mum still don't like the small planes, she can charter one of emirates jumbo jets & boeing 747 to take her to Asaba or Enugu. If she still finds boeing 747 too small for her liking, I suggest she then charter a luxurious bus from one of the many transport companies littered in Abuja. Sorry I don't know how long it would take to get there by road. I hope this helps.

Okay, I should have made it more clear that by small planes I mean the intra-Naija flights. We've lost a few family members on those in the past so that's why my mum's not keen on them. We're not some bougie people looking for luxury.

Hi Nairaland,

We will be in Abuja this summer and plan on travelling from there to Anambra for a couple of days and I wanted advice on the best mode of transport; plane or car? A car will take longer of course but my mum reckons it will be safer (she's vert nervous about those small planes) and I'm not so sure. The last time we drove that far was from Lagos to Anambra but that was years ago. Can anyone with recent experience offer some advice? Also if you reckon car, do you know of any good coach or shuttle services?

Thanks

Bludeville: Just trying to do some math. Your mum was in her thirties, I pick 32,and your dad roughly 30 years older, puts him at 62. wow! you we're probably 10, 12, when they had the fights, yes? that would make your dad 74 years old... hmmm. if you were older because I heard you mention uni let's say 18 years old, that would make your dad 80 years... still can't wrap my head around this story.... wow!

Tbh, I'm not 100% sure of my parents' exact ages. We didn't know my dad's real age for a long time though people around me always noticed that he looked a lot older, we never did. But yes now he is in his 80s. I know the age gap is around 30 years or 20-something but no more than 30. I am now in my mid-late twenties but they have fought for as long as I can remember until 6 years ago when my dad moved out. The guilt and reminders still bother me though.

I mentioned the age gap to explain why my mum felt so distant from his network of friends. I should also add that they brought us up well and gave us happy times and nurture. But unfortunately the fighting was a lot and as it was never dealt with it still has an effect today.

MRbrownJAY:

i have to disagree with you on some few points you made:
- this woman is indeed punishing this man (whether on purpose or not) simply because she knows what he needs from her, and she is not able/willing to give him. thats not entirely her fault but she still has her part to take in this issue.

- some women do have energy for such.......... and if you go back to the threads on NL, you will find a lady that was complaining about her husband not mounting her as often as she wanted it (everyday).

- there is no such thing as a sex slave or a wife. a wife SHOULD be someone who satisfy her husband's every needs (and vice versa), and therefore could/should be able to provide sex 7 days a week, if thats the man she married.

- you speak about the wife unhappiness as if the husband was happy NOT getting his daily sex? haba, the husband is also unhappy and want to BE HAPPY thats why he demands for his drug (aka sex).

- there is NOTHING wrong with having sex everyday.......hell, thats what mostly happens when people first get together. the catch is that , for most, the intensity rubs off, while some like the OP keeps wanting for more. this is why SE:XUAL COMPATIBILITY is very important in marriage. sex should be emotional AND physical, and therefore the two are highly needed. you cant take one away and expect your spouse to be ok with it, just because YOU are.

Of course there is nothing wrong with having sex everyday. Sex is great but most people do not have energy or are in the mood for it everyday in the long run. Many couples that start off having daily sex gradually decrease frequency over time. That's perfectly normal. But if you are able to go on doing da ting daily then good for you. Bang all night long. But the point here is that she DOESN'T want it everyday and he does. He doesn't need it everyday, he wants it. Key distinction.

You are saying that I have not acknowledged the husband's unhappiness and needs. Well he's getting them because he is raping his wife and yes I find it hard to think about the needs of a man that forces his wife to have unwilling sex. Had rape not been in the picture then my view would be different but it is so this is a different level. If the gender roles were reversed then I my sympathy would shift to the husband.

A wife should be able to satisfy her husband's needs within reason and vice-versa. Sex is not something that should be done without consent so if she doesn't want it daily then no she shouldn't be forced to just because he wants it. A loving husband would talk to his wife and understand her.

As we both have stated this is why sexual compatibility is so important.

Not all nice caring guys make good husbands.
If this guy can't commit properly now why should that change after marriage?
It's really for your sister to decide on what's more important: a husband that is faithful or a husband that buys her all the things she needs. If it's the latter then she's got the perfect guy and if the former then she knows what to do.

The idea of cancelling a wedding must be hard. Family and friends are so excited and the parents have been boasting, spending money and making preparations. To call that off would of course call unwanted attention and drama and unfortunately most Nigerians would not see his player habits as a good enough reason to call the whole thing off. But it may be worth it to save herself from a miserable marriage.

Note to self: ensure sexual compatibility with partner before getting married.

Marital rape became recognised in the UK in 1991 with a famous case about an Asian woman that killed her husband after long standing domestic abuse. I'm not sure if it's the case in Nigeria and other parts of the world for that matter. Unfortunately, the view is that once a woman gets married she consents to sex whenever her husband wants it.

I don't see how this woman is punishing her husband just because she doesn't want sex everyday. Oya, who's got energy for that? This man needs to hone his oats. Does he want a sex slave or a wife? You say he won't cheat because he's a Christian but he is okay with causing his wife unhappiness, which the bible also condemns. He should hold on to his faith practices and learn control his urges and take sex to an emotional level, not just a physical one.

Nashville: Touching story. But I just want to clarify. Did you say your dad is 30 years older than your mum or is that a typo?

No it wasn't! There is roughly a 30 year difference but I should also add that my mum was around 30 years old when they met so it wasn't a teenage/adult relationship thing.

timeframe: Me! I csn relate. Dont know which is worse? Urs or mine but my story is different, I wont n dont want to share but all I have to tell u is despite what has happened try n be the best that u can Be .Ur destiny is different. Don't think because it happened to ur parents same would happen to u. Choose ur path and be the best. Ppl r going through worse u cant even imagine but thats life for you.focus on being a better person.

You are right; thank you. Sorry to hear you went through similar.

baby_123: Both your parents have issues and are throwing blame around. They know you all saw them at their most stu*pid, and are blaming each other and even you for their problems before you hold them responsible. How old are you? It is time to stand up for yourselves. Tell them it is enough. They both are to blame for their woes and they should leave you both out of it. Damn it all and let them know that growing up, they were not role models at all. And you pray to God that you will not turn out to be what they are. Let them know the damage they have done to you and your sister by their actions. Tell them to their face, that they are the cause of their own problems, and it will be great if for once, they can leave their kids out. They have always been the adults here and are solely responsible for their actions. As the child, it is not your place to take sides, settle fights or take responsibility for adults actions. It is not also your place or concern to listen to negative talk about each of your parents. If they have anything to say about each other, they should face themselves. I think you need to get your independence and leave such a negative environment. But remind both of them, that what ever their regrets, they have themselves to blame. You are not at fault. You didnt ask to be born into this or endure two adults that act like kids.

Thank you. We have confronted them about this and though my mother now sees I think my dad still feels the sole victim.

Kanwulia: PUssinally
PUssina-PUssinally. . . .


Dear OP. . . You had a very normal childhood BY NIGERIAN STANDARDS.
Please, kneel down every day and NIGHT and thank your GODS!
No matter how dysfunctional. . . I can see some good sides to both parents. . .THEY DID NOT ABANDON YOU! YOU WERE NOT ABORTED!
You are now an adult. . . YOU MUST PAVE YOU OWN WAY. . . FIND YOUR OWN PATH. . . AND LOVE THIS ONE FAMILY YOU WILL EVER HAVE. . .
Your sister has a choice too. . . .YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!



All I can see. . .are 2 sad people who decided to start a family. . . by default or by design!



If you decide to feel guilty that you were the causes of your parents' WOES. . . .THAT IS YOUR CHOICE. Given that your father is over 30 years older than your mom. . .I HOPE SHE WAS NOT IMPREGNATED AS A MISGUIDED TEENAGER? Is that why your father is PUTTING THE BLAME ON YOU. . .THE CHILDREN? Well?
Tough. . . Y'ALL NEED TO GET OVER YOURSELVES. . . PEOPLE HAVE NO FAMILIES TO CALL THEIR OWN! YOU HAVE ONE! MAKE IT STRONGER!

You are here now. . .and you survived! NO NEED TO PLAY 'DA VICTIM'. . . .What ever it takes. . . STAY HAPPY AND FOCUSED. . . LOVE THEM AND BE HAPPY! THEY BOTH NEED YOUR STRENGTH TO CARRY ON. . .SO THEY DO NOT DIE UNHAPPY AND MISERABLE! If you need some 'chemical' assistance to 'fend-off' a MOST-DEF GENETIC PREDISPOSITION TO DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR DISORDERS. . .please, get HELP asap!

PUssinally
PUssina-PUssinally. . . .

I am not playing the victim. I know people have gone through worse and being my parents I am aware of their good qualities. I disagree that this is a normal Nigerian upbringing. I used to think that but now realise that it's not. I don't choose to feel guilty but it's hard not to when you are still dealing with your parents' problems. I am still there for them and love them. Parts of your comment echo my dad

I grew up in a household where my parents would physically and verbally abuse each other. on the outside we were a well mannered, church going, decent Nigerian family that was career and education driven. But behind the scenes it was non-stop fights plaguing us.
This went on for many years until a big incident that lead to my parents' separation. Living apart, my dad visits and they are civil (incredulous that this can be after all the BS that went on before). Though they still maintain the other is solely to blame. As kids, my older sister was particularly effected and she had an eating disorder and a few suicide attempts. I'm not saying it was all my parents' fault but the fighting didn't help. As a result, my parents would try to exempt her from the fights. They also refrained from fighting in front of company. Yet somehow my sister and I were capable of being the main witnesses of all their trouble; they couldn't stop for our sakes.

The worst thing is that my dad has always made us feel guilty and responsible for everything. He could hit my mum but could never try and talk with her. He would instead go around to people painting himself as a sole victim and saying that us children did little to resolve the situation. We tried our best to stop them but they would always go back to square one and ignore/resist our efforts. We cried, told them off, tried to reason with them to no avail. My dad never acknowledged any of these efforts and would get relatives to come around and tell us all, including my mother, off. One incident lead to my dad being badly injured and needing surgery. This confirmed to everybody that he was a battered husband when the reality was that it was both of them causing trouble for each other. My mother didn't have the adult network my dad did (he had lived in the UK for years before bringing her over for marriage and he's a good 30 years older than her) and suffered from extreme paranoia to the extent that she thought everyone had tried to kill her (she accused me at one point and sent me to be exorcised in the middle of first year exams at uni) so she would rely on us even when we were small kids as her confidants.

There is too much to this story to write but basically I feel so guilty about what happened. On the one hand I feel it is unfair that I should be blamed for their troubles but on the other I wonder if it is really my fault. My mum, despite her faults, has always shown us that we were her priority and that she really loves us. In fact she would get angry that we couldn't see that all the pain and suffering she went through with my dad was for us because she would tell us that he never cared and said that we were social services' responsibility. Though my dad didn't bother to speak to us much and instead expected us to just know that we should act in his favour, he was a smart man that helped with our education and also to challenge the world around us (oh the irony). I currently speak with my parents, live with my mum and carry on as normal. But there are always occasions where the issue of guilt creeps up again. I love my dad but I also think he is selfish for putting such a burden on us.

Is there anyone out there that can relate?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/16/vatican-indulgences-pope-francis-tweets

This is an example of why I am no longer a Catholic. I don't mind going to sermons but I do not follow Catholic doctrine. These man-made rituals and laws are unnecessary and serve no purpose other than to strengthen the Catholic church as an institution and not the faith and well-being of those that worship.

I can only hope that Catholics will raise their eyebrows at these supposed offers.

I think this is a good distinction between religion and cults. However, I would not agree with the last sentence

Because it is not under the umbrella of a recognized religion, there is no governing body and the leader is, therefore, free to do as he or she pleases

Even with a governing body a group can still be a cult if they do not abide with / or contradict the aforementioned.

But going by this my mother is a cult in herself! She doesn't like me questioning Catholicism and tries to scare me away from other denominations

Ki-Katanga:


The Bible shows that GOD's word is law and those who transgress are condemned without mercy. Those who are homosexuals are condemned in Leviticus, but those who are thieves and take that which is not theirs are condemned in the ten commandments. In Proverbs, it is written "Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD" so he will burn in hell.

It was for deception that man was thrown from Eden to this cursed Earth, and no amount of repentance is enough to make GOD forgive us even for the sins of those others.

He will burn in hell.

What about the woman Jesus prevented a mob from stoning? He told her to go an sin no more. We are told that we all fall short and we all sin. We are also told that our good deeds are like dirty rags to God and that sin is sin. So if this guy is burning in hell for his embezzlement then everyone else in the world, from murderer to the person that farted and lied that it wasn't them, will be on the same boat.

okeyxyz:

I already answered you in my first paragraph by:


In other words: this ability came from God.

Ok. That's the answer I often come up with as well thought most other Christians I have spoken to have said this cannot be so. I suppose the next question would be why...

tpia@:


so, in essence, God was fully aware of the potential for things to go wrong, meaning he knew the tempter would come. And created man specifically with the capacity to choose between good and evil.

Ok, but again my question is where did the ability come from? I mean where did the devil get his ability for rebellion? You seem to be saying that God created us to choose between good and evil so was this the case for the devil as well?

Tpfkakambo:

ur question shows a leang twrds a partculr disposition.
Even if u hav no satisfactory answer look at contrdctions frm ur assuption.

1.) all things come frm God. Includg d tot to dsobey him.
2.) adam was not the originatr of the disobedient tot tht led 2 sin.
3.) this tot entered adams mind and adam executed it.
4.) God put this tot in adam,since God originates all thngs.
5.) based on 4 adam is innocent of d tot he possessed and hence innocent of d action he was guilty of.
6.) God judged adam 4 d evil tot tht originated frm God.
7.) God is inconsistent ,based on 6,
he orignates evil, implants it in adam,
who executes it not knowg he's tempted by God, God arrves after adam has fallen fr his temptation.catches adam red handed and whoops adams asss!

U only need 2 read d bible to see ur errors.

1.) if God is guilty of sin,He cant b Fair,holy and Just.
2.) if God is guilty of sin , He cant Judge satan or man of sin. With wat standard?
3.) the integrity,power of God's wrd rests on his purity and holiness.
If God is sinful, his wrd would lack power.
And if his wrd lacks power, the physcl universe wud collapse cuz the bible says the wrld is held together by the wrd of his power.

4.) if God sins they wont b a trinity but a duality or duo.
Cuz the other members of d God head cant felloship with sin.

5.) if God sins he'll die.
Cuz d wages of sin is death.

6.) if God sins heaven wud bcome corrupt,
thts y in revelations certain class of beings arent allowed into heaven.
In otherwrds, impure beings.

7.) if God sins then He by nature isnt all sufficient , he has an inadequacy he needs to fill.
E.g Satan, wasnt all powerful,so he sought to unseat God to get More power.
Adam and Eve wanted More knowledge.
Judas wanted more money..
What More does God want,tht wud make him sin?

8.) if God were to sin,He isnt omniscient.
Satan ddnt know he'll be kicked out of heaven,b4 his rebellion.
Adam ddnt know he'll lose his dominion to satan.
Achan ddnt know he'll lose his life
fr stealg Gold
etc
But if any of these beings knew how it wud end for them they wudnt hav sinned.


9.) if God tmpted man to sin, then
went thru all d xpense of sendg Jesus to die and get humiliated, and watched the atrocities of sinful men thruout the ages,like hitler,abacha,idi amin,stalin,etc. And restarted d process again by drowning out the first corrupt sets of humans,
then He is a Fool.
Only a fool and sadist wud cause so much pain intentionally then go to great expensve lenghts to clean it up.

But God isnt such.

10.) there many scriptures shwg God cant lie, there is darkness found in him,
he tempts no man,
he rejoices in d prosperity of the saints etc

Well I wasn't making those assumptions. As explained, I'm a bit confused. However, I see your point on the contradictions but then what gave us the ability to sin? I think that's what I'm unsure about.

striktlymi: Hallo Nk,

Interesting thought but what exactly do you mean by:




I guess you are not ready for a proper discourse...


#Why even bother creating the thread?

There is a big distinction between a proper discourse and a petty debate. A lot of threads on this forum start off well then go off topic and result in insults swapped between a few individuals. I'm sure you would agree that isn't a good debate. A good debate will have disagreements for sure but will tackle the subject.

Please share any thoughts you have on the OP. Thanks!

okeyxyz: If God took away the ability to think and choose our lifestyles, then we wouldn't be the intellectual and spiritual beings that we are, which of course was the intention of god(let us make man in our own image...Genesis 1:26 ). We wouldn't be any different from animals who just take nature as it is, behave according to instincts and never according to logics and meanings.

We(Adam) made a bad choice in the beginning, by choosing to live according to the value system of the devil(tree of knowledge of good and evil...) instead of the mindset of god(of every tree being good...Genesis 1:31 ). So by Adam choosing this tree of knowledge of good and evil it became human nature\mindset, thus the origins of sin, bitterness, conflicts, diseases and ultimately death.

Note that this tree of knowledge of good and evil is not science, as some people have erroneously interpreted it. Rather, It is the mindset that tells you that god did not create everything good, that some of god's works were good and some were evil and must be avoided. this is contrary to god's wisdom(God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good...Genesis 1:31 ). This was actually the laws of moses in the beginning when it became human nature\mindset and is why the Law is always saying Thou shalt not..., thou shalt not...

So the purpose of christ's dying and resurrection is to legally abolish this law(knowledge of good and evil) and for us to revert-back(repent) to the original mindset of god, ie: that there is NO SIN in nature(Genesis 1:31 ). All things are pure to him that is pure(Titus 1:15 ).

Thanks for responding but it doesn't answer my question at all. Where did we get the ability to make bad choices?

Greetings,

I see a lot of questions on here about original sin, etc, but none of them touch on the point that as a believer has always bugged me so I've decided to ask myself.

We are told in the bible that God created us in his own image to be perfect. Adam and Eve were given freewill and under temptation from the devil they disobeyed God so their downfall is their own fault. God has no blame. He is not the author of sin.

But what confuses me is that if God made us in our entirety then doesn't that mean that he gave us the capacity of disobedience? And subsequently the devil as well? If not there where did this ability come from? It cannot have come from any other than God surely because then he wouldn't be the complete creator. So it has always seemed to me that even though Adam and Eve made a choice to sin, as we do today, the ability to even consider such a choice came from God. In Romans there is a passage that goes "Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?" Now this is used in a different context but it also tells us that we are moulded by God to do his will and that he sometimes wills us to do dishonour, as we see with Pharaoh. I can foresee that someone will argue that Pharaoh had already hardened his heart so God just used that for a purpose so please remember my original question. Where did this ability to disobey God's will come from? If he is the creator of all things didn't it come from him?

This has been confusing me for a long time so would love some good answers. I used to go to a bible study group that was great but didn't really offer much on this subject.

Thanks in advance and please no petty debates

The bible is the Word not the paper. As mentioned above you could go further and say that you are only reading the bible if you are reading the scrolls in Hebrew, Aramaic, or Greek.

Your silliness does nothing to glorify the name of God at all. All you do is validate atheists' presumptions that Christians are stupid (not that such generalisations are appropriate in the first place).

Btw, even if your ridiculous claims did prove that the world isn't billions of years old it wouldn't necessarily prove any specific religion to be true.

Orikinla:
But the irony even here in Nigeria is the fact that atheists still end up appealing and applying to believers in God for jobs and many things.
If you don't believe in God, why ask those who believe to help you or employ you, since according to you you are wiser than us?
<)))><

I'm a believer and I found this part of this statement stupid and embarrassing. Are all Christians, Muslims, Hindus, and etc employed by their respective religions? In fact many Christians work in organisations that could easily conflict with their beliefs.

There is no trend of Atheists seeking employment from religious people. In Nigeria where religion is so dominant you would be hard pushed to find employment with an organisation that isn't religious just like in the UK where secularism is more common Christians find it difficult to find jobs with Christian organisations.

Yesterday I went my cousin's Christening and the whole service lasted 2.5 hours with the sermon 30 minutes alone! This is a Catholic church and usually it is only an hour in total.

I don't think that they should be very long at all. People always remember poignant and brief quotes of wisdom but who remembers a whole sermon word for word? I say take 15 minutes for a strong and meaningful message and then sing a couple of songs then home time. Better to have a brief and meaningful sermon that a long ass long winded one that has half the congregation with their heads in the clouds and the kids crying from boredom.

Like ooman, I also agree with the part about paedophilia being a psychological disorder. I think it is something like 1 in 5 people abused as children go on to abuse others so clearly there is a connection. Preventing such situations in the future would involve ensuring that children aren't screwed up in their youth in the first place.

That being said, abusing a child is still a criminal action. End of. The hidden truth is that sexual attraction to children is more common that people think. Not every person that has an attraction to kids goes on to abuse them though. That is a different level action. True the perpetrators have probably had a traumatic background but if we go by that then there is no such thing as crime because most criminals have a troubled past.

In any case he is saying this in a pathetic attempt to relinquish the Catholic Church from their failure to take action on numerous occasions when children were being abused right under their nose. Regardless of it being a mental disorder the church should have still ensured that the children are out of harms way. They are aware that there are many individuals in their church disturbed and yet they have done nothing to get help for the molesters or the children.

No I don't think that is does in the general sense of intelligence. The people you have mentioned are mainly related to science so perhaps there is a correlation between people growing in scientific knowledge and doubting the existence of a personal God but there are also examples of scientists that are growing in knowledge and still very much believe in God such as John Lennox.

Also consider people like Martin Luther King and Gandhi. They were both intelligent men (though I'm not keen in Gandhi's take on complete pacifism) not in terms of science but in terms of peace and equality and how to establish equal rights. C. S. Lewis was a brilliant writer, very creative and skilled. All of these people believed in some sort of God. This is why I think it is better to avoid such generalisations. Intelligence can be measured in many different ways. Many atheists though not believers in Jesus as the son of God view him as an intelligent man with ideas about humanity that were ahead of his time i.e. loving thy neighbour, challenging the authority of high priests and hierarchy.

So in relation to science, yes you probably do have a strong case but in regards to intelligence in general I don't think there is any link.

I was going to make the same point that wirinet just made. Just because a contract is in place that doesn't seal the deal. A contract can be declared to be unfair if it breeches certain human rights or comes into conflict with other laws. I studied constitutional law in the states for half a year and I remember there was a never-ending conflict between state law and federal law. Even in the UK there are a few examples of contracts or statutes that have been revised or changed because they conflicted with the EU laws on human rights. So it isn't certain how this will turn out.

Nevertheless, I personally would never have signed such a contract if I knew that I wasn't against pre-marital sex.

Sanjanets: May God have mercy on ur soul!

May god have mercy on the soul of child molesters! Seriously, this comment may be a bit inaccurate because the pope wasn't a child abuser (though apparently an enabler in some ways) and trolling but the issue of child abuse is more serious.

Listening to the story now http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21409149

Shocked, though not buying it's all down to ill health. Well, I mean I'm sure that's a major factor but probably feeling more old and weary with difficulties in the papacy.

Fornication and lust are sins. Kissing isn't. You can kiss someone passionately with love without lust. Don't get into the habit of over thinking everything.

One_Naira:

ROFL. Tell me about it and I even know some families where the parents do the most ignorant stuff in terms of Igbo language. One of my friend told me his fathers gets angry at him anytime he speaks Igbo to him and the son is unable to reply back. Funny enough, he grew up with his parents speaking just English to him yet they expect him to magically speak the language like his superbrain or something. Move on to my sister's bestfriend, her husband bought books for his children to use to learn Igbo. Mind you him and his wife are both Igbo, they both from Abia state so there isn't any dialect clashes and they do not speak Igbo to their children. They rather spend money on irrelevant books to teach the language than actually opening their mouth and speak the language to their children. SMH.

My mum bought me a book as well! I told her to just speak to me in the language but she doesn't really have the patience. If the children you are talking about are young it would be so easy to just speak to them in Igbo! My bf's brother and his wife are Norwegian and French respectively and they both speak to their children in their own language. The children are 10, 8, and 5 and speak and understand fluent English, Norwegian and French.

I think a lot of parents naively believe that the children will just pick up the language without ever being addressed in it! Such a shame.