₦airaland Forum

This is called sleep paralysis as per the explanation given previously. I get this often and it is very scary but perfectly normal, but it has been spun into some kind of demonic possession. I admit that when I get it I spin prayers like wild fire but it really is just a transition state between being awake and your brain activating your muscles. People associate it with something demonic because it is common for people to be conscious of their actual surroundings in their minds and to see people about. Well this is because you are still in a semi dream state and one of the reasons why your brain shuts down your muscles at that time is to stop you from acting out your dreams (I'm guessing sleep walkers have trouble with this. However, being semi-conscious it is natural that you will see yourself in your bedroom sleeping and the fear of the state is what kicks in the ideas of intruders and creatures. I just think that we need to be careful of turning everything into some kind of possession or demon because we spread fear and fail to understand things for what they are. After all, we are in a world that has sin and thus things go wrong so clearly this is just on that long list of imperfections that have leaked into this world.

I don't pretend to understand homosexuality - why people are gay and how they feel about it - and I don't think most other Christians, or even atheists, do either so I don't know why people pretend otherwise.

In any case, I feel as though homosexuals are targeted by most Christians as though their sins are worse that everybody else's when sin is sin. As far as I recall the only sin that stands out in the bible is the sin of not accepting Christ. So for those that say "if you are gay you cannot be a Christian" do you apply this to heterosexuals that fornicate, people that lie, people that get jealous, people that are vain, those that chase material items, those that are hostile, i.e. to everyone else? People that are gay and believe in Christ must fight a real battle with their feelings and emotions and need support and love like every other person rather than pseudo-science explaining who they are and hostility. The attitude is very reminiscent of the crown Jesus stopped from stoning a woman, asking those without sin to cast the first stone. It doesn't mean that you say it is biblical if it isn't but you should not give them 'special sinner treatment' just because it's easier to to target them than others.

striktlymi: Good evening Sir,

I am of the opinion that Mr. Ikwue has no idea what he is talking about. If someone want's to be lazy, I bet it won't be because of religion. I am a Christian and I pride myself in being very hardworking and industrious.

Let Mr. Ikwue note that the great economies in the world did not attain greatness by banning religion. On the contrary, when a ban is placed on religion, it would imply that the right to freedom of worship will be trampled on and really I don't know a lot of countries who thrive economically by depriving it's citizens of their fundamental rights.

Mr. Ikwue is avoiding the real problem of Nigeria and chasing after shadows. He should be aware that Nigerians (at least those in the south) are very hardworking. I am yet to meet a Southern Nigerian who deliberately wants to be lazy. If Mr. Ikwue really mean well for Nigeria he should stop this personal thing he has for religion and help improve the economy in any way he can.

Has he provided work for those people who come to him for money and they say they prefer not to work? Or is he saying that those people neglected to work due to their own fault. I do not condone laziness but for someone to blame the woes of a Nation on religion is really not the way to go.


Thank you!

I think you are missing the point of his argument completely. He is not talking about laziness in the sense of a wasteman not bothered to get out of bed or go out to work for money. He is talking about laziness in the sense of relying on prayer to the extent that you fail to develop action plans or be conscious about implementing social and economic changes. There are a lot of religious people that will go to church every week and pray for a better life, but would not think to rally government for better infrastructure or other policies that can bring about these changes. Also, many people tend to pray for their own needs but do not consider the general population because they go to prosperity churches that sell them (literally) ideas of a religion that will erase all of their debts, help them produce children that are all doctors, and give them foreign cars. They pray and sing and then sit back and wait for things to happen, but don't really put in the grind to implement God's work. Also, his ban on religion is not about taking away freedom of worship. He's talking about taking religion out of politics.
But I agree that the problem is more than religion.

I think the threat is bigger abroad than it is at home. Though I have met Igbos born and bread in the East and don't speak a word of it.

For us diaspora not born in Nigeria, the problem is that our parents raised us speaking English or other thinking it would be better, which is a shame because my Greek, Chinese, Bangladeshi, and Indian friends speak their languages perfectly. I've also noticed that a lot of Yorubas born here in the UK have a better understanding of their language and the Hausas speak theirs. There are groups of us taking the initiative to change this. There are Igbo cultural networks in the UK and mini language schools. I got some materials to help me at least understand it. I was raised with Igbo culture in the UK but it feels weird to know the culture and not fully understand the language.

I will make a very pointed note that the initiatives mentioned above have been taken by the youths (teens and 20s). Unfortunately, the older generation have decided that it is much more fun to use the lack of language understanding as good sport for their jokes rather than teaching us. I find it really disappointing and annoying. They should sort themselves out.

I've been perusing this section of Nairaland for some time but never commented before.

I was raised as a Christian (Anglican/Catholicism) and I think it was at the age of 14 that I found faith for myself. Last year I started a Christianity Explored course at a Protestant church as I felt as though I needed more info on my faith and guidance and during that time I left the Catholic church (had been dubious about it previously) and started a journey towards connecting with God. However, it was during this time that I really began to explore doctrines in scripture and realised that I had never fully challenged before. I found myself overwhelmed with so many questions about things that did not seem to make sense to, some inconsistencies, and clashes with modern day science. I've also found myself wondering at times if it is all true. I feel that it is in my heart and there seems to be a lot of evidence to also suggest it is true. I've listened to a lot of religious debates and I find myself agreeing with both sides! It's really confusing and a bit upsetting at times. Whenever I ask Christians they don't seem to have the same concerns and either brush them under the carpet or just quote passages rather than giving direct answers. With Atheists they just seem to say it's all nonsense and don't have the same concerns because they don't have any faith.
I think what confuses me are the constant clashes between science and the bible (can they both be right), morality (is slavery really endorsed), interpretation of the bible (why do we take some things literally and not others?), man as the originator of sin (I mean if God knew we were going to sin are we really to blame), and the concept of a good person (if a person spends a lifetime feeding the poor and doing nothing wrong but doesn't accept Jesus they go to hell. Does this make God arrogant?). I feel that I love Jesus and most times I believe he hears me when I talk to him but I don't know about the religion. I mean sometimes I wonder if it is just a matter of me having problems because it doesn't suit my personal desires and I should overcome this reluctance to fully serve God and other times I wonder if these are questions that I should be asking and perhaps leading me to an truth.

Is there anyone out there who goes through the same?

Btw, I would really like people to contribute usefully so please refrain from using this post as a battle ground

My eyes! Please stop showing all these pics of trashy brides and 'in your face boobs'!

The wedding dress in the original post is awful imo. You can wear something classy and modest at the same time. It's not this way or that way.

But who said they won't be intimate?? Maybe they'll keep half of Naija awake on their wedding night

https://chocolatebrides.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Alfred-Angelo-6.jpg

faithin9ja:
[color=#006600][/color]


I didn't see this interview but I have read what the father said and he seems genuinely distraught, however there are too many cases where fathers and mothers accuse their own children, so I can understand why you felt this was possible.

Parents, grandparents, relatives often take their own children to other so-called MOG, seers, marabouts, pastors, etc to remove the 'amaree' abiku' ogbanje' evil spirit' kindoki' to remove the spirits.

There is another thread where our so-called Christians are defending a woman who killed her 5 year old niece, she too was commanded by the holy spirit.

It was on the BBC. You may be able to access it here http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01cr8x4/BBC_News_at_Ten_01_03_2012/

He admitted that his son had called him saying that if he didn't come and get him he would be killed but the father said despite this he sensed no stress in his son's voice and that he trusted his sister's boyfriend. When asked why he didn't call the police himself he said that it should have been the sister's boyfriend who should have called the police as he was the one who thought there was something wrong with his son. It was this as well as his tone of 'it was a simple mistake to make' that made me wonder whether he too thought that there must be something wrong with his son. I'm not saying he therefore wished him dead and approved of what happened, but any other parent would've been distraught that they failed to recognise their child's plea for help; these things do happen by accident. But when your answer as to why you failed to take action is 'why would I' I start to wonder.

I don't know if I'll be able to stomach the other thread you are referring to.

Why are you people wasting time arguing about whether these people are Ibo or not? Is that the issue here? The point is that superstition crazy people have butchered this man in the most inhumane way and that people in Nigeria are being subjected to abuse and murder because of fruitless and evidenceless accusations of witchcraft.

This story really sickens me.

If these people are Christians then they should have noted that Jesus never used any tools to rebuke demons and that he said they could be cast out in his name alone. In any case why would a boy wetting his bed lead them to believe he's a witch? People are obsessed with devils and demons and like to blame their problems on bad spirits rather than acknowledging their own incompetence or even the simple truth that good and bad happens in this world.

I saw the interview with the father of the boy last night and there was somethng about him that made me suspect that he too thought his son was a witch.

When will Africa wake up?

You men are giving me jokes!

Mercy Johnson has some killer curves, and definitely wins hands down on the body front, however without them I don't think she'd have much appeal tbh and sex appeal is more than a good body.

I'd personally go with Ini of Genny. Yeah, so Ini has a bit of a belly (like you mandem don't have your bulges as well) but she has an amazin butt, beautiful face and skin, lovely eyes and she always shines in her films. Genny is also very beautiful and charasmatic, but I think Ini has more sex appeal than her.

I was just thinking about this topic!

The way see it is that a break is taken because one or both parties feel that they need some time apart to reflect and evaluate for the SAKE of the relationship. How can you do that if you are in bed with someone else? If you are thinking about exploring new territory then you may as well call it a day with your partner.

Neither shade is more beautiful than the other. A woman's beauty, even the superficial factors, go beyond the shade of her skin.

I've always found it amusing that the same rappers that dominate the music scene, or everyday arrogant men, and make such big proclamations that they are 'truly black' are the sames ones that will always feature light skinned women in their videos or chase after light skinned women and white women, respectively.

I am light skinned and have never felt anymore special or beautiful because of it. In fact as a teen I had acne and the number of people that used to say to me 'at least you have light skin' is unbelievable!

There is nothing wrong with having a preference for light or dark skin but thinking that one is completely better than the other is pure and utter nonsense.

iliveit:
I live next to Nigerians and was very nonjudgmental when i moved in .After living next to them for 2 years I can say they are the rudest dirtiest loudest most disgusting people I have ever had the misfortune of meeting .The irony is they run a church out of their basement .Everyone has complained of the terrible noise and screaming coming from this slummy shack which is also illegally built and not registered .They ignore the police the neighbors and instead are even louder .They cook the most disgusting smelling food on their front steps because they have destroyed their kitchen .If you ever have the choice of living any where near a group of Nigerians avoid it at all costs .

So those few Nigerians you live next to have coloured your judgement for every single Nigerian on the planet?! I've know examples of Jamaicans, Irish, English, Polish and Americans showing such behaviour as well. It's all relative

Wow, this debate has certainly heated up!

For all those talking abut citizenship and nationality, I clarified some time ago that I was NOT talking about that but rather about culture, heritage etc.

Another thing that I clarifed some time ago was that though stated that I was 'still a Nigerian', it wasn't me claiming roots in every state and all 250 tribes and an attempt to say that I 'fit in' with all of Nigeria!

ChinenyeN:
Just out of curiosity, Nkeon, how did you learn to write Igbo?

I'm getting my mum to spell out what she teaches me. Is it any good?

I hope you'll contribute to this thread ChinenyeN, as I've seen you offer good advice on other threads!

Nno! (Welcome)

This probably belongs to education but I thought it'd be more visible here!

I've just started to learn Igbo seriously and I thought I'd start a support thread for anyone else in the same position.

We can update each other on our progress and of course we can practice our Igbo on each other (please make sure you translate when doing this so that people can learn. And please specify the dialect you are learning/using as well so that people can clarify any differences).

Share any stories you have of practising your Igbo and feel to rant about any difficulties you are experiencing; you may find some advice.

Igbo speakers, please feel free to share any advice and tips you have. And please make sure any criticism is constructive as I'm sure anyone that joins this thread would appreciate any correction that is done in earnest

I find that when you are trying to learn something new it's encouraging to communicate with people in the same situation and it can help with motivation!

So please anyone that has any negative attitudes or finds it amusing do yourselves and simply avoid this thread.


I'll start off,

Last night (when my mum and I officially agreed to start serious lessons) she told me 'Kwuche ite' = 'close the pot'.
She's from Enugu and my dad (and I) is from Anambra.

As well as going through different topics I also want her to speak to me in Igbo and I'm compiling a dictionary in my notebook.

Beauty and ugly are in the eye of the beholder!

So the answer to your question would be simply because that's how you behold us.  We have features and characteristics that are pleasing to your eyes.

To anyone that says we're not attractive, the same goes to you. Our looks are displeasing to you.

kate29:
nkeon, you are close to your parents, that's why. some people have a bad r/ship with their parents. do you expect someone who has been despoiled by her father to keep him in the same house with her kids?

Actually, i've had (and to some extent still have) quite a troubled relationship with my parents.
I live with my mother and I see my dad all the time and I guess i'm close to them but they have a lot to answer for.

So I understand that some people are in situations where they can't have their parents with them but my solution would not be to put them in a home just because they are not places I could trust.

2 years?

Give her some more time!

kate29:
i know a friend who says she cant keep her parents with her, too meddlesome. Wouldnt old people's homes suffice? at least they wouldnt be homeless.

I could never put my parents in home. A lot of mistreatment goes on in those places. I don't think they could annoy me enough for me to subject them to that!

ghettochyk:
Dang, u got time for folks tryna tell YOU that you're not Nigerian? WTF? Do they work for the Nigerian immigration and naturalization services?

Lol, thanks; I probably needed that!

stillwater:
Weren't we meant to understand that we are the church not the edifices we build?

Completely agree with this statement! My mother and I always debate this. I tell her that when Jesus said to Peter he would be the rock he built his church on, he meant a church of people, but she thinks it refers specifically to the Catholic church; bricks and all!

@ poster

I'm not expert on traditional marriage but all I know is that by the time by parents had their church wedding after their traditional my mum walked down the ailse 8 months pregnant!

My aunty is a minister and her daughter just had the traditional wedding. I think my aunty performed a blessing to add the Christian element to the wedding.

Didn't you say you have a GF as well?
And you're asking what kind of girl she is!
Don't ask us; being the male equivelant you should know!

You want my 'sincere contribution'?

The only thing worse than an absent father is a father that is present and useless.

At 27 years old I would have expected more maturity from someone in a relationship having unprotected sex with his FIANCE. Did you just expect a shake and go?

You need to think long and hard. If you are willing to accept your duties as a father than you stand by your woman and child and dedicated yourself to being a good father and partner/husband.

If you know that you're not brave enough (afterall you're thinking of running away) then you are better off telling your fiance that you won't stand by her and leaving. It sounds harsh but she and the baby are better off not having you around if you are going to be uncommitted. Being a parent is no 9 - 5 with morning break; it's a life. If your heart's not in it you'll just be a hinderance to them.

So think long and hard

ChinenyeN:
So then, are you talking in terms of tribe and ethnicity, Nkeon?

Yes I am. I know I made statement in my original post about being 'Nigerian' but the issue I wanted to highlight is still Igbo in terms of ethnicity and identity.

I agree that Naijas can be rude and loud but I see this among others as well, e.g. Caribbeans.

I also think there are different types of rudeness. I live in the UK and though some Naijas here are overtly rude, loads of English people are rude in suttle ways. They use certain mannerisms in order to get at people, which can be worse than being loud.

ChinenyeN:
How can someone born outside of Nigeria be a Nigerian, unless [s]he has  dual citizenship? Is "Nigerian" no longer a nationality?
Also, I would think that tribe and ethnicity is a separate discussion from [not] being Nigerian.

Yes, I'm not talking in terms of nationality. I don't have dual citizenship so of course my nationality isn't Nigerian.

@ poster

Silly doesn't even come close!

If you already have a girlfriend why are you picking up other women for 'konko'?
Your own girl would have probably warned you she was on time and wouldn't have gotten your hopes up.

I think Naija girls should give you a wide berth

Thanks Londoner. Nice to see we're on the same page!
I admire your stance as well!