rubi: @ When a man love/treats his wife very well irregardless of anything submission flows naturally

berem: a male doctor once touched my n..ipples when i went for ante natal. He told me my husband needs to do a lot of work on it because its not big enough for the baby to suckle. I came back and told my husband. na so im burst laugh.

Onlyemmy 'M':
Someone is shouting abt 10yrs without sex, is not a big deal cos i too have stayed for six years but i will tell you dat i face many accusation from my lady, she called me "homosexual" many names but the truth is dat we always fight b4 we have sex so i decided to stop anything abt sex and be alone.

degamonn: Good topic! Keep the discussion going. As for me, I must teach my children IGEDE!

Ujujoan: Na wa oh . . .

We condemn when they are underage and complain when they are of age . .

If an adult of 24 yrs old CHOOSES to work as someone's maid for an agreed sum, she's bound to live by the rule!

Nothing jsutifies a woman bringing strange men into the house of her employers. She's no more a kid for God's sakes, she should know better!

@ Poster, I think you should just let her go for the following reasons . . . .

1. You are obviously not capable of managing her. Not because of her age, but because the both of you need different things from each other and will only keep hurting yourselves cos you are not getting them!

2. You dont like her and she doesnt like you!

3. She's very irresponsible!

Like debrief suggested, get a 7-7. You dont need someone working for you all day long. Trust me, it's easier that way!

Gaggi:

Truth hurts. U brought ur shiit to d public, u have to deal with all d opinions. U have a slave in this modern era and ur proud to say it. I wish u were a maid while growing up. Send her to d village indeed like u would do that to ur own daughter.
U are a stingy and self centered brat. Open a shop, rent a house and pay het off. All these wicked church going folks. Practice what is preached, luv thy neighbor as thyself.
Wetin she thief sef? Maybe a tuber of yam and few cups of rice and garri. No big deal aftertall women here endorse stealing from husbands wallet.

debrief08: It is not a young people thing oh, any 22 year old girl should have at least a boyfriend and start learning how to be with someone. Like madam said Northerners marry early, those who delat do so because of school or have not found someone they want.
Its better to be married when you feel you have found someone than to be messing around.
Besides we were all young once and at 22 surely had boyfriends, so its not a young people of today thing

mrs flawless: Ha, i bet the girl will even give me better sex education! She's a notherner and her younger sister is married to my office assistant with 2 kids. The girl self by now wants to marry, i know she's seeing someone and they have concluded plans on getting married. she's 22 and 2 days off work is not too much freedom. she doesnt want to furher her education so i'm sure pregnancy and marriage are the next major things she's pursuing. before

debrief08: Madam na wa oh, why the vex? You want us to criticise your maid but you don't want to take any of the constructive criticism to you.
Who will force you to take any decision? If you are not ready to hear from different people and differnt veiws you shouldn't have come here.
You want us to heap the blame on the lady and make you out to be a saint?
You were the one who employed a maid and earlier insisited that only a 24/7 maid will work for you. What did you want us to say? If you like send her away na, who are you firing? Are we the ones who will stay in your house for you?
All we did was work with what you said. Calm down

Gaggi: Slave labour. Asking a 24yr old woman to work 24/7 and paying her peanuts. Send her away let her practice her sewing. Open a shop and pay her off, she is human and needs a luv life too like every young adult.
If u are not spoilt and lazy then a 7 to 7 maid should be ok for u. Get ur gadgets to make things easier at home. The days of live in maids are over.

happimis: My former maid/nanny comes in 6.30am n leaves anytime around 6-8pm depending on when she done. At times I let her go 4.30 or 5pm if she is done for the day. She even works on some saturdays too. I had rest of mind when she was working with me, it was really proffessional. She is mature n always knew what to do at the right time.She is on maternity leave now, she is married and she is abt 26years old.she was happy working for me, the best nannies to have is the 7-7 nannies, you will have peace of mind and you will really enjoy their services.

debrief08: I had my first maid when she was out of secondary school, she worked weekdays and got admission for part-time college, friday afternoon I or my husband will pick up our son and drop him at day care so she could go for her studies, her personal life was not mine to monitor and intefer with.
When she asked for advice I gave it, apart from that my only concern is if she worked well and did what I asked her too. At 24 I spent most of my time with my then husband even though we were not married, that she is a maid doesn't make her desperate to be dating at 24. My former maid got married before 24, she is about to have her baby and I will have to do omuguo because she is an orphan.
However, I treat employees as my boss treats me, professionally, if we build a bond fine, but I find that most Nigerians see their employees as people they need to control totally. The ones that are particularly annoying are those who keep teenagers and start screaming because the girl is showing her teenager behavior, maids are not emotionless robots. They want the things you and I want too

mrs flawless: Dear nonylove,
My candid advise is that you send the girl packing. Personally, i might be able to cope with someone stealing from me but it becomes a big deal if she steals and also brings strangers to your home. Most unschooled or underschooled 20 years and bove wants to explore. She's 24 and there is every probability she's doing things with the guys she brings to your house and God forbid maybe even in presence of your kids.
I have a 22 year old maid but ensures she goes away on weekends, that way she has 2 solid days in a week to experiment or do whatever she wants to do thereby allowing some sort of freedom that they badly need.
Let's not fool ourselves, she's 24, sexually active and has got eyes for the goodies of this world but has no or limited time for herself. its a time bomb waiting to happen. She either masters the act of stealing and rob your house completely or get careless with her boyfriends in front of your kids and do indiscrimate S£x.
I agree with debrief that the 7-7 option is the best as regards house maids but they are also hard to find especially in Abuja, so you should try that option if you live in Lagos or other part of the Country.
Goodluck sis but you need to act fast.

mrs flawless: Dear nonylove,
My candid advise is that you send the girl packing. Personally, i might be able to cope with someone stealing from me but it becomes a big deal if she steals and also brings strangers to your home. Most unschooled or underschooled 20 years and bove wants to explore. She's 24 and there is every probability she's doing things with the guys she brings to your house and God forbid maybe even in presence of your kids.
I have a 22 year old maid but ensures she goes away on weekends, that way she has 2 solid days in a week to experiment or do whatever she wants to do thereby allowing some sort of freedom that they badly need.
Let's not fool ourselves, she's 24, sexually active and has got eyes for the goodies of this world but has no or limited time for herself. its a time bomb waiting to happen. She either masters the act of stealing and rob your house completely or get careless with her boyfriends in front of your kids and do indiscrimate S£x.
I agree with debrief that the 7-7 option is the best as regards house maids but they are also hard to find especially in Abuja, so you should try that option if you live in Lagos or other part of the Country.
Goodluck sis but you need to act fast.

debrief08: Seriously sha, I think it is a little selfish to expect a 24 year old or anyone else to be at your beck and call 24/7, taking care of your family, when does she get to go and build her own?

Iyaqueen: Na question dey ask now,.dey dint abuse him.........are u crazy? Init?
Cos wen I was small if dey ask mi dat question I ll comport myself straight away.
I don't see anything wrong in dat my dear.

Rukemi291: Mrs. A once gisted me about how terrible her househelp was too.

She said whenever she sent the househelp on errands, it took her like forever to finish them. One Sunday, she was to have visitors, so she sent her househelp to the market, to buy a few things to entertain the guests with. You can guess when she (the househelp) returned... after the visitors had gone.
She said this girl is also fond of talking to grown-up boys in the neighbourhood, though she has never caught her doing 'something' with them.

All these things infuriated her and she sent the girl back to the village.

Do you know the frustruating thing right now? Her 13 year old daughter washes the plates in not less than 5hours and Mrs. A once caught a love letter with the her (the daughter).

She was then asking me, would she send her daughter packing? To where?

So, Op, pls look critically at ur maid's case and don't just send her packing like that.

onye ego:
N6m

onye ego: no. of rooms? Standard?type of roof?doors? Wall finish?of windows? Source of water supply? Location e.t.c

baby_123: Your own is small o. . But if you have little kids, having this strangers around them can be dangerous. And she is also promiscuous. Hope she doesn't get HIV and infect your kids unknowingly. You've got to be careful sha. I don't think I would like strange men around my house when I have kids.

pak:



We had house maids for some time while growing up and have always been a bit uncomfortable with the concept of house maids as practiced in this side of the world.
I think I go with Debreif on this issue.




And by the way - @poster - what are you doing with a 24 year old woman, who is not a relative, sharing your house with you 24/7 ? ? ?

A relative brought her because they know her family>

minute: She probably thinks-these people have a lot more than i do, they wont miss just some food

which would help my friend/family a lot. The trouble is stealing a few things turns into

more and more, then perhaps stealing from shops . . . She needs to be told privately, we

want to trust you,please do not steal from us,if you desperately need help please talk to us.

Efemena_xy: CC, that's quite easy.

I think @poster's kids are of school age. So this girl would have a couple of hours available each weekday to see her boyfriend.

But the security issue you mention is such a serious point. Jeez! The thought of a strange man/men entering the home?? And sizing up what their property / household items are worth??!! Haaa! That's one step from armed robbery o!

The mere thought of it makes me panic! Naija armed robbers can do & undo...

Nonylove, if this is true, then better find a very diplomatic way to send this girl packing, abeg.

Richvkunt: @OP,
Good morning,brother rvk reporting for duty.
Your maid steals food to satisfy her boyfriend? Secondly you are not sure if she steals your money,because you have so much that you do not know the amount in your purse?
My sincere advise: Watch your husband around this 24 year old,firm breas.ted, big bottee,coke bottle shaped,succulent skinned and delectable house girl.
A word is enough for the wise-remember man is a polygamous animal.

chaircover: I wasnt even thinking about the kids; which even brings a new dimension into the story.

If the girl is stealing repeatedly to satisfy her boyfriends needs, then there is also the possibility that the kids arent being looked after as well as they should be anyway. Where are the kids when she hands over the food? do the men come in (in which case she is entertaining strangers in the house) or does she leave the house to go and deliver the items (in which case are the kids left on their own while she goes off)? Are they safe in the house alone?

Anyhow, all these issues need to be addressed properly so that it all doesn't escalate into something else past a cup of rice. There are security issues, safety issues name it . . . ..

Have you considered meeting the boyfriend(s)? If she was serious with one, have you considered meeting him and see if there is anything you can do to equip him so he doesnt have to relay on stolen food?

centje: u seem so conversant with that part of me,hv we done TINS before

debrief08:
True, I know of a Lady who stole 6million from her employers a bank because her husband wanted an RR SPort, when she was caught she said he put so much pressure on her and even coached her on ways of taking the money without getting detected, she was kept in a none finance department, made to work of the funds they couldnt recover and sacked. Like I said this foolishness of people in love trying to impress their bad spouses is not limited to maids.

chaircover:

It is well. Our people say that one person gives birth to a child but many are involved in the childs upbringing

This young lady is under your care, regardless of how she got there, and you have a moral obligation to lead her down the right path. If you can, maybe you get your husband involved to advise her from a mans point of view. you never know, it may sink in when she hears it from another view.

BTW Does she steal other things apart from food for the boyfreinds?

debrief08:
You know that medical history is personal and can only be revealed to family members with the consent of the person being tested. Anyway, I suppose anything can happen in Nigeria. Like I said a professional maid is more expensive in terms of cash but less in terms of drama