₦airaland Forum

Let's call a spade a spade ... Yes, Nigerian marriage institution is patriarchal (our culture made it so) but we should also say it as it is...The UK or Western culture marriage institution is also matriarchal. Let's not sugar coat it by saying it gives everyone equal right.

The advice will be respect each country's law and institution. Nobody should force anyone to accept what he/she doesn't want in their own country. If you find yourself outside your country, then keep their laws for them or come back home. QED

[quote author=Hamachi post=136546268]I understand where you’re coming from, and I respect your conservative view, but I think we need to look at this issue carefully.

First, Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is not “organic” or safe. It is not a cultural cure for high libido, neither is it a protection for our girls. Medical experts all over the world — including doctors right here in Nigeria — have shown that FGM can cause lifelong complications: chronic pain, severe infections, difficulties during childbirth, and yes, even infertility. It’s not just “the western world” saying this; it’s African doctors, midwives, and women who have lived with the trauma.

Secondly, calling implants “foreign bodies” ignores the fact that the real issue is not the method but why teens seek them in the first place. If parents are intentional, as you rightly said, and create that strong bond with their children, then conversations about sex, choices, and consequences can happen openly. That way, the child doesn’t feel the need to hide or secretly use dangerous or unsuitable options.

Pregnancy should never be seen as a “blessing in disguise” for a teenager. A teenage pregnancy often derails education, causes emotional stress, and can trap a young girl in cycles of poverty or unhealthy relationships. Yes, some women rise above it, but for many, it closes doors that could have led to a better life.

As for contraceptives, while overuse or misuse can have side effects, modern medicine provides safer, reversible options when guided by a professional. The real solution is balanced education — teaching our daughters about their bodies, self-worth, and decision-making, while also ensuring boys are taught responsibility too.

In short, protecting our girls doesn’t mean cutting them or leaving them exposed to risky situations. It means empowering them with knowledge, guidance, and love so that they don’t have to depend on secrecy, fear, or desperation to make choices about their bodies.


Thank you for your response. It's engaging, polite, interesting and very articulated.

But you will agree with me, that he who pays the piper, dictates 90% of the tune? Our health care system in this part of the world look up to the developed world for aids. So, you can't expect those African doctors, midwives and health practitioners to tell you otherwise.

I have a medical friend, I shared my post with him. The first thing he said was...man, you goofed big time, don't you know that the new visa policy is that you have to disclose all your social media handle? What does that tell you? Indrectly, whatever one says or believe that is contrary or perceived to be anti- western beliefs will definitely affects the chances of one getting visas.

I'm not anti West. We owe them a lot for development they bring to the world. But, as a conservative minded person, what am against is demonizing other people's culture and traditions. Every practice has its merits and demerits.

Scientifically speaking, statistics has shown that circumcized women are prone to have tier during child birth more than uncircumcised women. Due to rate of dilation. That's the only proven 'cons' of female circumstitions. Others are hugwash ....our grandmother's gave birth to multiple children and had fewer case of fertility issues. In terms of infection, if it's made legal, just the way male circumstitions is done in the government approved hospitals. The infection cases won't arise.

To me, bottom line, still remains good parenting, educating and showing love and care to the girl child. Every other practice be it contraceptives, female circumstitions and what have you...has its merits and demerits. Whatever works for one, should be upheld and not demonized. Shalom

Word really failed the poster.

Any family oriented person, will know that essence of marriage is to multiply the family and not to break away or divide it.

The wife becomes part of your family, the children, siblings are all part of family. The aggregation is what we know as extended family or dynasty.

Any partner who doesn't come from a family oriented family will always have such notions that ' the wife is an outsider while the siblings are family ' or that ' A wife is your family,while siblings are outside' hiding under biblical quotes that they don't know the mean....A man shall leave his father and mother and clinged to his wife .

The whole thing boils down to people's background and how the view family structure. QED.... If you come from a family oriented background, please endeavour to marry people from such background to avoid spouse with weird mindsets.

triangulation:
That is not much boss

It's no biggy. All you need to work on self esteem. When you exhume high self confidence, you will attract any woman of your choice. Women love men with confidence, Power and money. If you have any or two of this qualities, you are a King in their eyes.

I used to have a lodgemate back then in school. He has similar physical challenge like yours but he aids himself with one crutches. Dude, doesn't see himself self less, very outspoken and very confident. He was in SUG then, and he scored more women than guys with six packs and six feet height.

So bro, with your brain power, self confidence and decent grooming you're good to go. Start shooting your shot in the dating pool

[quote author=Goodlyhrt post=135657968]The role of women in shaping modern society is not just underrated—

You couldn't have said it better. Totally agree with you. Sometimes, I refer them as a necessary evil😁.

To be honest we are not ready for this discussion.

First to avoid all these alien practice. I call it alien because I am more of a conservative person. I don't follow trend. You must be an intentional parent. If you have a girl child, you must a take a double dose. You've to be intentional of the environment you train your children, you've to be intentional about their friends and you must make out time to creat a strong bond with your daughters.

Now, remember that an apple doesn't fall far from the tree. If you know during your own time you were randy and have high libido. Their is every tendency one of your girls will inherit it.... In other to prevent it.... It's either you do the 'organic' way our ancestor used which the western world have demonized in other to sell their drugs to us that are killing our young girls today.

I know the will come after my post. But truth be told...it's better to practice FGM, to your girl child than this so called implants. It's safer, if they allow trained personal to do it.... But know, the have an agender ... They have criminalized it, and make it look like it's the leading cause of infertility in women, meanwhile it's the other way round.

As for me, it's all shades of wrong to allow a teen abuse her body with all this foreign body's in the name of implants. It's even better she gets pregnant...that might also be a turning point in her life, and most times, it might turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Early use of contraceptives is the leading cause of hormonal imbalance which might eventually lead fertility complications. A word is of enough...if you like follow the woke people ..na premium tears

These people are evil Maradonas... They deliberately left this case till now. Watch as the indirectly hand three tenures to the ruling government in Imo state.

They will use this case to launder the image of judiciary against the main presidential appeal case. Underestimate them at your own peril

Madam, first and foremost never compare yourself with anyone let alone what you see on social media. Everyone has it's own cross the carry... that's the reality of life.

As for your hubby, if he's helping out in home chores, it's a good sign of good upbringing and someone who is family oriented and humble. He being picky or lazy to job hunt can be a sign of depression. Of course no man, will be happy not being able to provide for his family, you will need encourage him with love and respect. If it means applying for the jobs on his behalfs and securing it for him. Please, do it. He will definitely snap out of it and will thank you later.

As for you, your mental health matters too. If you feel taking a break at your family house will help and also help your hubby seat up. Please, do. But always have it at the back of mind, marriage is not a bed of roses....ask any couple who are celebrating silver or golden jubilee of their union. Life will always throw spanner at your wheels. May God bless your home, and give you wisdom to navigate through life

Fingertea:
Even if Obaseki wins today .... Which we are seeing .... That he is winning ...

APC will use supreme Court to remove him .... Mark this date.

Add your own thoughts ...

Edo no be Imo... The judiciary knows better than to bite more than they can chew.

Dyke15:
Biko na only me wey no dey perceive anytin again?

... Go and do COVID test. Mind you it's not a life sentence. It's well with you.

Very deep and well written. I share your sentiments 100%. In fact, I feel you just photocopied my mind. You are so point, with the bitter truth. Two things to take away from this write up are; Entrepreneurship is not for everyone, secondly, our leaders have failed the youths in terms of infra structural development and job creation. They now hide under entrepreneurship and vocational jobs for teaming youths and graduate who have no jobs. The now, paint the not so lucky once like lazy people. Though some of the youths are not far from being lazy but majority really will like to contribute their quota in fields that they are subject matter specialist. Than taken up anything, so as not to be seen as a lazy person; thereby breeding more square pegs in round holes. If the government must play the card Entrepreneurship the should look inwards in our tertiary institution and research institution equipping them and given them targets for every discipline to make sure the funds doesn't go down the drain. OP well done for stating and blaring your mind like Donald Trump..lol

Op, we are waiting. You just kept us stay tuned and refuse to press the button. You can save a life with this interesting topic of yours.

Wow...is in you bro!....your pen is a fountain of knowledge and wisdom. Keep writing bro.

Haven't heard of the transport company before. Guess is new in owerri? When and what did you apply for?

The heart of man is full of evil, if she can kill her own very baby, you can imagine what she will do to her mistress kids.....a seventeen year old with such guts #shakeshead#