₦airaland Forum

yellowpawpaw: Yes u r right Mr bellong.
My good friend(a deeper life member) relocated from the north with a young gal of 20 and her family.
Till date pple thought the gal is her younger sis.the children call her aunty.I call her madam. She came from a very poor background and used to help her in her poultry biz.when she and her family want to relocate,she begged to follow. She has her own room. At times I used to yab my friend that her gal dresses better than her.my friend will say why not,that is how it should be,she is in d market,I'm not so I gat to kit her very well.
The gal is finding it hard copin with school work cos its a diff ball game entirely compared to where she came from but my friend is teaching and helping her.
The husband promised to train her in d uni.
I've know this woman for up to 2 yrs now and I will say she has not for one day opened her mouth to tell pple her gal is a maid. She said she can't do that cos she don't want pple to start looking down on the gal.She travelled to her place last xmas and the children were all crying.Bought a handset for her to be communicatin with her family.My friend has a retail shop.This gal come to d shop only on sat and during holidays.On sats so my friend can take care of the house.I've seen my friend asking the gal to lend her money(her own money!)
She said the gal can save money more than her.Infact,I can go on and on.She is just a practicing christian. God will bless her for that.
If others r like this,who will be complaining? I just pray that these pple end up in good hands if at all they r to live with somebody.

bellong: You know Jesus knew that people like this will be rampant in the world before saying "By their fruits, you shall know them..." We live in a generation full of religion and theology. They can quote from Genesis to Revelation offhand but their characters and attitudes are far from their profession. With their mouth, they love God but their hearts are far away from Him.

When you see someone who is truly redeemed, he/she needs not tell you his/her profession of faith. The fruits and actions will surely testify of who he is. I don't get carried away by people who attend church or are tongue-blasting, bible-quoting brother without fruits of the spirit to show for it.

@Topic,

I always like the satirical style of Elnathan since I first read one of his works titled "The Nigerian gods..." or something like that. He has a way of passing deep seated meanings from his writings to the audience.

yellowpawpaw: The writer just summarized what goes on in every 'madam's'head that has a househelp.insensitive creatures! Both the poor and rich madams,all want to have househelp.
I recently went to c a friend that put to bed.she was staying with d step mother as at d time of delivery.
Stepmom has 4 children.first child is 13yrs. She has a maid of 14yrs old living with her.said that maid was abandoned by her parents in the village and she was staying with her grannie so she took her for the past 7yrs to d city to help her
The maid ended at primary school. She is learning how to sow.But madam's children goes to school and madam is a teacher.
Asked why,madam said that maid' no sabi book'. Maid said she don't want to school again.she want to learn how to sow.
I asked my friend telling me this, if it were to be madam's child, will she accept that she stops school simply bc she isn't brainy?
Can't she try her best with her?Till today,no answer.
I answered my question,she is only but a maid.she should be grateful she is learning how to sow.
A born again christian woman. I reserve my comment.
Realities of life

BY ELNATHAN JOHN
God is faithful. He has blessed your hustle with a
husband. You began by going out of your way to
show you were a dutiful Nigerian wife- cooking,
cleaning and never saying no to your husband. God
will meet you at the point of your needs and bless
you for this. However, something is happening to
you. Tiredness is setting in. You feel nauseous and
irritated. The doctor has told you that you are having a baby. This has never happened to you before. (The one that happened in university doesn’t count-anyone who reminds you of this, God will truncate their hustle.) You and your husband agree that you cannot keep up with the house work with this growing human mass in your tummy. It is time for a house help. Your husband has left you to take care of it.
You have many choices. There is the choice of one of
those Gbagyi or other minority Northern young girls
who have been trained to work like horses, want little and show gratitude for whatever they receive. The girl may have thinning brown hair from lack of
nutrition and may look stunted at 12 but trust me
she knows how to fetch water, wash piles of clothes
and sweep endlessly.
You also have the choice of taking the 11year old out-of-wedlock daughter of that distant cousin whom you have never met in your village in Umunede. You had heard that a boy got her pregnant at 14 and ran away thereafter. Since then the daughter has suffered stigma and neglect as well as blocked any chances of your cousin getting a husband. Those village people can be unforgiving.
There is that aunt in the village who promised you
someone to help when you came for your traditional
marriage in the village. You turned down the offer
then. Now is the time to call that aunt and tell her
that the housework will kill you soon. She will laugh
on the other end of the line and tell you not to worry.
You will remind her that you don’t want a boy o! Boys are hard to control. ‘I have heard,’ she will say and in one or two weeks you will receive your package of an awkward prepubescent girl.
Then there is the international connection- the Benin Republic kids. Someone has told you of these young kids from Benin Republic whose salary you will pay to a man who will claim to be their Uncle or cousin.
You do not need a person of legal age, an adult who
will one day kill you all in your sleep, run away with
your children or worse, snatch your husband from
you. Anyone who quotes the Child’s Right Act, and
calls employing anyone under the legal age, child
labour, God will give them paralysis of the mouth.
How else do they want you to get the house work
done?
When the young girl comes, first thing to do is to test her for hepatitis and other infections. You don’t want her bringing diseases into your healthy home. If you must, go to the second hand store and buy her two old dresses. If you don’t have boys quarters, clear out the store so she can sleep there. Otherwise get an old mattress that she will use somewhere in a corner of the living room.
You need to cut her hair. It is better. Both of you should not be struggling to groom your hair.
Anything a small comb can’t do must go. The more
unattractive she looks, the better for you and your
marriage. You can’t trust men these days. No one is
too young for them.
There is no need to waste money sending her to
school. It is not your fault that her parents can’t
afford to. In fact she should be grateful that you are
giving her a rare opportunity to come to the city and make some money. If she spends all her time at
school, when will she do the house work? But if you
absolutely have to, find a cheap school, maybe one
with evening classes she can attend. Something
simple that won’t confuse her about her station in
life.
Discipline: Very important. Sometimes screaming
degrading insults is not enough to put an ungrateful, sloppy house help in line. The phrase “spare the rod and spoil the child” necessarily includes house helps.
Sometimes they get too comfortable. Sometimes
they are possessed. Only a healthy dose of flogging
can rid them of evil spirits or too much comfort.
Watch the food she eats. Especially the meat.
Nothing makes a house help grow wings like
sufficient pieces of meat. Meat has a way of creating a sense of entitlement in a person. You don’t want that to happen.
Don’t make the mistake of allowing the house help
have friends. Whether with the house help next door or with the one in the shop down the street or the one grinding tomatoes near the market. She did not come to your house to play and network. Next thing you know they will connive and do something evil to you.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there comes a time when you must let the house help go.
Instances include when you notice that she has
become a woman and is almost needing the same
bra size as you. Like I said before, men cannot be
trusted. They see breasts and they lose their minds.
You need to be proactive and protect your husband
from himself. Send her away and look for another
prepubescent one to take her place.
Do not go looking for answers where you have no
business looking. If the man who brought a girl from Benin Republic says he is her Uncle, then he is her Uncle. If he says he will hold her salary for her, then he will. The less you know the better.
Do these and God will, through your house help,
lighten your load, and bless your hustle.

ELNATHAN JOHN
Life is nothing without you. People may run away
from you, despise you, but in their hearts they know,they need you. You are the one who saves the day: the woman stranded with an overheated car in a hold up, the lover whose car threatens to truncate his hustle, the transporter who needs his cars back on the road to make money. You get the desperate calls,you see their worried faces. You arrive and gaze like a prophet into the engine. You spend more time than it actually takes, but you get it done. Like magic, the car comes back to life. People don’t think about you unless they are in trouble. I am here to give you the prominence you deserve and teach those who intend to learn the trade just what they must do.
You need to appear dirty. A mechanic gains nothing
by having presentable work clothes. How else will the car owner know you have worked on his car if he
doesn’t have grease stains on his seats, steering
wheel, dashboard, everywhere?
As a mechanic, you must prefer women. Not the
restless, jobless ones who pretend to be men and try to truncate your hustle by coming to sit with you in the workshop and ask, "this one, na wetin; that one na wetin; show me wetin you change". Not the ones who want to follow you to where you bought the spare parts. Those ones are bad market. You must avoid them like a debtor avoids his creditor. When they come tell them you are busy. The women you must prefer are good trusting women who call you to take their car. Those ones call to monitor progress only asking: "dat one na how much?" And that is all you need to hear, "how much?" That is what puts a smile on your greasy face. That is when you invent parts and problems that do not exist and inflate the prices of the ones that do. This is not wrong; your conscience must not judge you. She is only paying for the ease with which she does business with you.
After all do people not go to hotels and buy a bottle of beer for as much as 1,000? Why don’t they
complain? God will judge those who sit in their
offices and say bad things about you.
The people who come for regular checks or servicing, these ones are not your main target. You do not make much from the engine oil and oil filter. People who are very careful about their cars like that are usually stingy. But you need that steady flow of money, so keep them. However there is a way to deal with the really stingy ones. Just notice a problem. Tell them that, it is not so serious, but in the near future it will need to be worked on. Even though you have told him that it is OK for now, you have already planted the seeds in his heart. Forget to tie some bolt or tie it loosely. In about a week it will come off and his car will stop on the way. He will call you and describe the problem to you. This is when you will remind him that you had mentioned it before. He will feel guilty and foolish. And when a stingy man feels guilty, he temporarily stops being stingy.
If you finish fixing a car in the evening, never call the owner. Try all you can to make the car stay overnight.
Especially on a Saturday. Especially when Sikirat, the daughter of the woman selling agbo, who is your new girlfriend has told you of this gbedu she needs to attend. You need a car for this. The customer will understand when you tell him that you do not like to rush your work. The problems of the car were so much that you had to ‘drop engine’. He may grumble, but Sikirat will get driven to her gbedu and will show her gratitude afterwards. Try not to bash the car or forget Sikirat’s things in the back.
Spare parts are where to make a killing. Nnamdi your favourite spare parts dealer knows how this works.
He knows that you have certain customers who
always demand to see receipts. He knows to ask you how much to write, or even give you a blank receipt.
Nnamdi and his boy Emeka don’t care as long as they get paid. You laugh when the receipt-demanding customers stare hard into the paper to make sure they have not been cheated.
When a customer complains about how expensive
the spare parts are, tell them, if they like they can go buy it themselves. Tell them where they can get it,all you want is to fix the car. Say that in fact if he
buys the spare parts he will lighten your burden.
Most people will be satisfied that you are not trying
to cheat and just give you the money. But some are
stubborn and will visit the spare parts dealer. Don’t
panic. Nnamdi and Emeka know how to deal with
those ones. They will have so much problems that
eventually they will realize that they were kobo wise Naira foolish. You don’t like Nnamdi and Emeka, but they understand the business and you get along fine.
To keep a new customer, especially the ones you
think will not be stingy, you must impress them. Fix
their problem quickly and tell them that in fact you
noticed that three bolts were missing which you
replaced. Tell them the implication of those missing
bolts. It is God who made them come because it
might have caused bigger damage. But you are not
charging for the bolts, just being a good mechanic.
As they struggle to count the cash, tell them how
some mechanics are shoddy like that, forgetting to
put back bolts and all. You are not like that. You take
your time and solve both seen and unseen problems.
When a customer comes the first time and you want to keep them, never tell them how much your
‘labour’ or ‘workmanship’ is. Tell them, "Oga, just
gimme anything". He is bound to be grateful for all
the extra things which you emphasize you did for
free; for saving him from his last evil mechanic. He is bound to be generous. Even if he isn’t, you have
already made a killing from the spare parts.
As you work, I pray that God will intervene in your
greasy hustle and bless it, immensely.

I no know book:
They were there before the humans came and destroyed their habitats, now they're back to take over what rightly belongs to them. Let the humans learn to co-exist with them, as simple as that!

SimonAndal: _

I revel in my madness!

Pinkyeyes: .......thanks for the info but am stuck at those four steps for downloading.

SimonAndal:
Sometimes I tie my feet together while in the bath and pretend I'm a merman.

Walkker4: There is this company that recruits everyday. Even if u ar not a graduate. Its an employment opportunity for all. Am employed as am writting this. I just wish to share dis wit all. In case u wanna giv them a try. This is my contact: 08182997473 BBM:26881E56[color=#006600][/color]

Nizstephen: Ok pls i wana know the job prospect of a statistics student we've been talking about maths..am a statistics std 100L

Fhemmmy: Brand New Torch 1 = 44K Naira, while brand new Curve 7 white will be 30K Naira . . . Thanks for your time on our thread and we appreciate you

naptu2: The answer to that question is in my write-up and Captain Daramola also answered that question in the video I posted.

They are not going to use NEPA/PHCN at all.



There are parts of Onikan/Lagos Island that have 24 hours power supply because they are on the Island Power Project system.

Also note that the Lagos Rail Transit system will be powered by electricity from an IPP.