₦airaland Forum

Tasha7:
Hello, I am a black woman born and raised in North America and married to an Igbo man. We have been in a long distance relationship for the majority of our relationship. We got married almost 2 years ago while still long distance and he recently immigrated to Canada in Jan 2020 under the spousal sponsorship. He has a wonderful bond with my mother and sisters. (my father has passed). I have met his family and we get along very well.

Everything was going well until I was looking up something in the search history of the laptop we both share and stumbled across emails he had recently accessed. Please note, I could not read the email itself, I could only see the subject lines in the search history. I will attach pictures if possible. It wasn't a normal email account like yahoo or Gmail. It was from a website called: Roundcube webmail. I had never heard of it before. Anyway, there were a bunch of emails forwarded from a hotel in Istanbul where people were being asked to pay their outstanding hotel bill (unfortunately I didn't take a screenshot of the hotel stuff). In addition to that, there were emails to 2 different women (named Wendy and Elizabeth) with the subjects: re: Thank you for written, re: back from customs baby, re: I am so happy our paths have crossed re: I am writing you with much sadness in my heart etc. I will try to attach the screenshots I took.

Lastly, within the same search history, my husband seemed to have been looking up songs like: 'what songs make a woman feel confident about herself' and 'what if I never get over you', and 'songs that make a woman feel beautiful'.

I confronted my husband that same night. It was 2am. He was already sleeping. I woke him up bc I wanted to catch him off guard. His explanation was that his friend in Cyprus had a bad internet connection and asked him (my husband) to look up something in his friends email account. He insisted that he had no idea what his friend was up to, as it was none of his business. In the process of me confronting him, he grabbed the laptop from me and deleted the search history. I told him that was making him look real guilty and I started packing my things to leave. He pleaded and insisted it had nothing to do with him, it was his friends email account blah blah blah. I wanted to believe him but some things just didn't add up...like why was he looking up those songs if he was just checking his friends email for him? His only saving grace was that the subject lines were written with poor grammar and my husband has excellent English speaking and writing skills.

Fast forward a few weeks later, my husband left the bathroom to put out the garbage and accidentally left his phone in the bathroom playing music. This is significant because he has never parted from his phone from the day he arrived. He sleeps with his phone beside him. He showers and uses the bathroom with his phone beside him. When he cooks, he keeps his phone beside him. The day in question, I went into the bathroom and locked the door shortly after he left the bathroom. Side note: I only lock the door bc sometimes he jokingly sneaks up on me to scare me while I am in the shower, so to avoid being snuck up on, I sometimes lock the door. I digress. I commenced using the bathroom when I noticed that hubby left his phone on the side of the bathtub with Nigerian gospel music blasting. I was shocked! It was the first time he was separated from his phone! I didn't touch his phone and started using the bathroom. Within 15 seconds, my husband started knocking on the door saying he really needed to use the bathroom and wanted me to open the door. He was saying he really needed to pee. I asked him to hold a minute, because I was on the toilet. He said he didn't believe me and then things escalated from there. He started pounding really hard on the bathroom door, demanding that I open the door because he really needed to pee. He was eventually pounding so hard and yelling to the point where he started to lose his voice! I was freaked out! I told him to hold on and I would be done in a minute! But he wouldn't listen and eventually broke open the bathroom door by force...there is literally a large crack down the bathroom door now. I was shocked. Beyond words. Once he broke down the door, he quickly did a scan of the bathroom and saw his cellphone was right where he left it. I didn't touch it. Then he was more calm. He then reiterated that he really needed to pee and went into the shower, pulled the curtain and turned on the water.

I started freaking out. I started yelling telling him that he was a liar and if there was any doubt in my mind he was hiding something, I need not doubt it anymore! He broke down the bathroom door NOT because he really nedded to pee, but because he was so terrified I was going to snoop through his phone! Of course he denied it. He was saying that if that was the case, the first thing he would have done is grab his phone. I responded saying that he's not stupid, if he grabbed his phone first, it would have made him look guilty. After that blow up, we stopped talking to each other for days...

And here I am today. If anyone could provide me insight into what is going on, I would be so appreciative. What is this hotel stuff and what are these msgs to multiple women? I am thinking he may be involved in a 419 scam or his friend is a yahoo boy....but why is he using such poor grammar when he speaks and writes excellent English?

I am so stressed over all of this that it is literally consuming my every thought. My husband only denies everything and gets defensive then ignores me if I keep pushing for answers. Outside of this incident he is incredibly loving and affectionate and treats my mother so well. He cares so much about what she thinks of him.

I have turned to this forum with the hopes that someone would have more insight into what is going on. Thank you so much to anyone who has taken the time to read this very long post and respond. I truly appreciate it. Again, I attached photos, but scratched out names just in case.

Thank you,

Tasha

KenModi:
Professionalism my a$$!!

Featuring in a music video?? You make it sound like they were video vixens in a Wizkid or Davido video while wearing their uniforms and then putting on bikinis later in the video.

A group of officers participate in a social media thing that hurts no one physically, spiritually, financially or otherwise yet you guys rush to condemn them calling for their heads and that they should be nailed to the cross.

Yet many crimes and atrocities, stealing and looting, nepotism and high level mismanagement take place on a daily basis by your govt and political officials; insecurity has completely gone to the dogs, with no proper infrastructure, education or power supply in the country, yet no one say or does anything meaningful.

I am not saying the ladies should walk freely within any consequences. If the organization believes its rules for officers’ conduct have been breached, then the officers must be disciplined.

However, that matter could have been dealt with internally by the NIS with no one even giving much thought to it as there are more pressing issues in the country.

But trust Nigerians, they would make a mountain out of a mole when it comes to irrelevant issues. Your hypocrisy and foolishness in ignoring important issues while focusing on irrelevant subjects always keeps me laughing hard when reading news online.

I guess the officers disgracing the country and begging both Nigerians and foreigners at the airport are acting very “professionally”, hence no one has raised any issues about their actions.

If half the energy you guys put in condemning those ladies was used in condemning the stealing and looting by your politicians, I am sure that country would be in a much better situation today. But no let us be ‘professional and steal’.

Professionalism and ‘holier than thou’ attitude na im go kill una.

Just look at your response, you dedicate more than 80 percent of it talking about the lady and their lack of corruption, yet the issue of corruption ripping and eating away the lives of Nigerians everyday is mentioned with the wave of a hand, in a few lines.

I repeat, Nigerians are the biggest hypocrites I have ever seen in my entire life. No wonder, your futures and that of your children have stolen away while you keep being holy and professional.

Bunch of stupid, foolishly blind, spineless citizens!

KenModi:
You say my comparison with the U.S officials who did a similar social media challenge is due to inferiority complex and ignorance? Abeg let me laugh small...

Just look at how you miss the point and focus of irrelevant issues. My comparison is to show your ignorance, stupidity and hypocrisy.

I guess your politicians who fly to the U.S and other developed countries, see how thing are there, enjoy the comfort, security, peace and well-being, come back home and do nothing for the people who elected but continue stealing and looting public funds are doing it out of “superiority complex” and brilliance.

They go to these same country for ordinary headaches and body pain, with no properly functioning medical center/hospital in their own country; not even in Aso Rock.

No wonder your president and his wife always go the U.K to chill and relax from your stupidity.

pDudd:
US army officials took permission before doing it. Naija officials were looking for cheap attention, clout, and social media brownie points.

There is a difference.

linusbnn:
Serve as lesson for what exactly.

KenModi:
You Nigerians remain the biggest hypocrites I have seen!

Your Immigration service extorts money and inflates prices of passports and other essential services provided by the organization to its citizens; services that ought to be done at reasonable amounts or even for free.

Same immigration service whose officers have become international beggars; begging and trying to extort money from travelers at the airport, both from Nigerians and foreigners...

Yet the organization choose daily to ignore these (because officers at all levels are benefitting from it) and focus on a meaningless issue.

U.S army officials did same thing, nobody raised any eyebrows. But Nigerians in their true form, couldn’t wait to condemn their own.

No wonder your politicians and elites see you as useless and meaningless...and steal your futures as well as that of your children’ children.

Keep hailing them you hear, fools!!!

DanjaNinja:
Please don’t be offended, but what lessons should we learn from this? What about the politicians that have stolen billions? Any repercussions for them?

Kingrefreshed:
Insult ? My friend go back and read the last line of your previous reply. That was not a compliment.

Why am I even responding to you

Kingrefreshed:
My friend get away ! Nigerian Police nko ? Army Nko ? Na this young ladies una get foolish power to flecks muscles

Kingrefreshed:
Which Lesson Because they work with Nigerian Immigration that has even failed they should be using Hijab.

They should walking around inside a drum

Sense is very far from you people.

XFrozen:
What steps have you tried? Try this step

Go to settings >Xpen and check to make sure it's activated enable your xpen interact with your device. And also allow The pen to charge for about 10 -20 mins maybe your battery is extremely low.

Ihatefeminist:
Nigerians should be aware that doctors are being forced all over the world to write ANY cause of death as corona virus on death certificates.

They are even giving those who comply money.
doctors who fail to comply loose their jobs.

The main stream media is lying to you.
Do your research before believing anything they tell you.
There's a massive corona virus propaganda going on worldwide.

below is a screenshot from a UK news channel of doctors putting ventilators on a corona virus 'patient'

Oladayo12:
In my sch you have to be clared before you can proceed for service., thats how most sch i've heard so far does theirs. guy your sch better o no stress at all.

Galactico4ever:
So there is this trend on social media claiming that TB Joshua,apostle Sulaiman,pastor Chris,Oyedepo,Adeboye,Indaboski And the rest are scammers and miracle peddlers. Someone even posted a video where tb joshua went to the mountain with a microphone(I wonder if God cant hear silent prayers) a photographer,judo mat and a pillow.... I am in no place to judge anyone especially if they claim to be doing God's work. Now i know all these ministers except the Indaboski Guy. Can someone please tell me more about him and his ministry

bolaji3071:
1) half a wave occupies 0.5cm and twice the wave is exactly 4s. What is the equation of the wave?


physics guru please help me out...

FrontRunner:
I swear,it sounds funny but truly God saved me from unnecessary embarrassment.If you know you know.

kiddkash:
this old man wey dey do harder harder.

be careful we dey outside your window

infinitygod87:
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Raymeskey:
Never you mind her

She's fond of nudity n craziness and moreover nothing to display

teresafaith:
MY FAMILYLANDERS , I'm still available. Make una no forget me