@marchi 18.We made luv about 4months ago,and i ain't dead,before then i dated her for about two and a half years before anything happened.It all boils down to what u both saw in each other before u both chose to enter into a relationship.Initially when we met,she had the same mindset as u do now,i'll admit it was frustrating trying to make someone understand that u love her and not her body,but i was patient,i made her understand i was in for real,and the rest is history.Sex is important, fine,but it doesn't define a relationship.Any relationship whose foundation is based on sex,material things and all doesn't stand the test of time.I'm not a saint,no,but i didn't grow up seeing my dad treating my two mums like objects to satisfy his desire,so i won't treat any woman particularly the one i love as one.

@ Mrs Eve.It ain't no movie,it's real like broad day light.I love my baby cos she makes me feel like a king whenever we're together.We've had our share of issues,but we're stick stuck like glue.

@marychi 18.I'd say it anytime anyday that we just tend to generalise and blow things out of proportion.It all depends on the type of men or women u're dating.Fine men get attracted by what they see,a beauty walks past a group of men,and all of them begin to imagine what she'd look like naked, but from that same group of men,a certain number just forget about her in the space of five minutes to think about other pressing issues,while others go the extra mile of chatting her up.In essence all i'm trying to say is that not all men base their relationships on sex.Though sex is important,there are other more important angles to a successful relationship.Virtues like trust,love,loyalty,humility cannot be overemphasised.When i love a woman,i don't love her cos she looks like agbani,or cos she's shaped like nicki minaj,these attributes though are an added advantage,but are trivial,cos when storms threaten the relationship,it takes both parties who are commited to make the relationship work to subside them.

@ Carolece.I had a discussion with my g.f about this issue some weeks back,and she was really harping on the men must cheat thing.Well for me,i think it all depends on the man in question.I myself comes from a polygamous home,and i've promised myself and God help me,that i'd neva tow the same path.I know marriage isn't easy,but by God's grace when i get there i'd try to make it work,respect my vows, treat my woman the way i'd want her to treat me,communicate.J ust get to understand that not all men are perverts,not everyman cheats and takes relationships for granted.

The biggest problem we all have,i.e men and women is that we generalize.Because alice cheats,nkechi and everyother woman out there is a cheat right?Or because ken bed hops,so everyother guy does.The truth if it must be told is that most people enter into relationships for the wrong reasons,and end up hurting others.My advice to everyone out there is that we all need to take things slowly with issues of the heart, if not, the consequences are very dire.

Going thru the replies on this question was a little bit suprising,but permit me to say that marriage is a different ball game all together.I've read posts from people saying they'd never be around a broke ass man and crap,but has anyone taken into consideration the word fate?Life can really be funny,cos the man everyone writes off as a failure today,but who believes in himself,works hard becomes a success tommorow.History has proven it,and if u check the records very well u'd all find out that most of the great men worldwide today,all had humble beginings.So house please,if and when u want to get married,marry someone who'd love,respect and adore u,not someone who'd feel that since he or she has all the money in the world,u should be heared of,not seen.

Why in God's name are we complaining about our darling team?We have problems,agreed,but that doesn't mean we'd turn our backs on our team.Arsenal fans are the most equivocal inspite of the fact that they haven't won a pin since 2005.But we just hit a rough patch,and turn our backs on our team?No,we're true blues,and we'd pick ourselves up.

@iice.Are you trying 2 say i should continue sampling till i find Mrs Right?

Gooday everyone,though alot of peeps might think this isn't the right avenue to ask this kind of question,but i'm really confused.What else can a brotha do to make a relationship work?One tries to be nice,calls,isn't in the relationship solely for sex,is faithful and all.But the sista u hold as your one and all doesn't give a shit bout u.What even sucks more is that most women think that since 95% of men cheat,everyman cheats.I've tried talking with her,but we always end up quarelling.Though we're far from each other,i still try to call her everyday,i'm still 100% faithful and all.I know cheating is wrong,but in a situation where u don't even know the direction your relationship is going,what do you do?

Gooday Ex,first of all thanks for leading me on,making me fall in love with u,making me share ur problems like they were mine.Thanks for telling me we never were in a relationship,for making my nights horrible because of sleep deprivation,for making me pay for what ur ex put u thru.It still hurts though knowing that i still have feelings for u,inspite all the pain u brough 2 my heart.One thing consoles me though, that's the fact that karma would get even,u'd love someone that would put thru the same pain u put me thru.U'd shed the same tears i shed,and u'd remember how much i loved u.

@ruskie.Thanks for the advice and all.Like u said perhaps i was doing 2much 2make the relationship work.I've been through stuff like this b4,but i always like 2 wipe the slate clean,give people chances to prove they are different.Was i wrong not to generalize?

Thanks everyone for at least trying in ur little ways 2 brighten my mood.All u saying i should have had a spare tyre,i appreciate ur comments,but i guess i just couldn't bring myself to sweetalking 2 women at the same time.U might call me old fashioned,some might even call me a mugu,but i date only one woman at a time.Maybe i inherited 2much of my mom's hormones ie being diplomatic and loving 2much,but i still believe that it should be one man and one woman.I might be hurting now,but some day,somehow,somewhere i'd meet someone who'd love me 4me.

@doyin 13.So u actually think i'm faking right?I guess it's till it happens 2u before u understand how painful and true what i'm saying is.I've been trying 2 sleep since,but failing woefully.I keep hearing those terrible words she told me over and over again.I just pray i don't turn into something else whenever i get over this,i also pray i won't make someone else pay for this.Now i know there's really a thin line between love and hate.

@Luvgenius.She isn't and wasn't my first love,it's just that i was really into her.She had a way of putting smiles on my face whenever i was sad.Loosing her now really hurts,but i guess it's for the best.I really have to give dating and relationships a break now cos perhaps i'm 2straightfoward and relationships only favour players,liars and cheats.

@Luvgenius.She isn't and wasn't my first love,it's just that i was really into her.She had a way of putting smiles on my face whenever i was sad.

I truly now understand what people mean when they say "love hurts"! Everyone's talking about valentine,and how they'd spend their time with their loved ones,while i'm getting a breakup.What hurts most is that i was faithful,i tried playing the games by the rules,didn't put sex as the most important part of the relationship,stuck to only her as my one and only.Guess heartache is my reward.I'm not trying to say i'm perfect or anything.It's just that it hurts like hell investing time,feelings and all in a relationship only to be told that u were living a lie all along.Is it wrong to call someone u love regularly (we are in different places ie different states),is it wrong to always want 2 help solve the problems of the one u love?I just don't know what else 2 do cos it seems doing things right isn't the best.My friends warned me,they told me to be dating someone here,but i just couldn't.I didn't want to play with anybody's emotions.I'm really very sad and depressed.

It all depends on individuals.Come to think of it,i think it's high time we stop this fat,slim,tall,short thing,why don't we love people 4 who they are.Let's all learn to look at the hearts of individuals,and not their outward looks.

Sometimes i wonder what the world is turning into,a guy shags 247 u call him a dog,he decides to zip up u call him a jew.My questions are does him being a virgin,make him less a man?Is there anything wrong in showing and telling him what turns u on during intimacy?