₦airaland Forum

Nairaland makes u remember those days....we av 1 those days..but My pa must nt catch u go near it...if not u go hear nweeee

greatdeal1408:


i remembered ... chai!!!
i used to beat my friends like ..... Monaco beat Arsenal

bro u wan make arsenal fan dey tink wetin don go? dats lalastical

chaii..butch of fools...he only advertise D weak of his opponent for D election...how come dis Man became president

Ephyartz:
For this construction to happen F.G had to get a loan from world bank. Where our own money cum dey

i tayya oooo...some times gan if dem dey advertise wetin jonathan don do 4 Tv...y go dey wonder weda nah CHAD u dey leave

propaganda....is dis D only road...Y nt snapping D WORST side of it...dis PDP clueless shall end by may

sai change

sai buari

jst get one on jan.2015....as a young boy who need bar 4 educational purpose..mehn a great slavery indeed

The date for the 2015/2016 Unified Tertiary
Matriculation Examination (UTME)has been
officially
postponed. The new date is March 9th, 2015.
This was made known by the registrar, Joint
Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB),
Prof.
‘Dibu Ojerinde. The registrar also revealed that
the Board has set
systems in place to ensure that the visually
impaired
candidates are not excluded from the
examination. Meanwhile JAMB has earlier told
candidates to start
reprinting their slip from 21st February, 2015.
But in view of the recent change in examination
date, we hereby advise candidates to rather start
reprinting their slips from Monday 23rd February,
2015. This is to enable JAMB to make
appropriate changes
to the candidates’ examination details.

when u see what JEGA As done oline..u will start asking ur self are u in mozambique?

lol..evidence dat GEJA..going out of office on may 29th for him to still be entitle to GVT Paulse dat Y dey ammended D constitution ....GMB FOR CHANGE...I Mean possitive change Nt D change PDP are talking about GMB FOR 2015

MARKone:
OP which 'Film' be this

Anyway if na me (but e no fit be me) that kian mistake no fit happen. Why because, if 'Madam' talk say she wan go party, and miss side chick equally tell me she wan go party that same day, that same hour, the same locality, bros.....i for don kaku say yawa wan gas. So i no go carry either of them to the party, neither will i come to take any one of them home. But by para venture, onwe ka mmiri si ba na opi ugboguru, na to lie flat on the ground beg madam o, #trueconfession, there is no way two of them can stay in that car, without the car catching fire.

@first nah true life story...but u funny ooo...anyway if nah me i go faint wake come dey ask my self if nah dream or reality

MAKEWEJUDGEMATA! One Wife bin ask her
husband mk he drop her for one wedding party.
He tell her say im dey too busy throughout d day
for office,so mk she take taxi. He gv her money
for d taxi. She kon take d taxi reach d wedding.
There she meet one fine girl and d 2 kon become
friends, dey gist. For evening as pple dey go
house,the girl bin ask d wife how she dey go
house,she talk say her husband dey busy for
office so she go use taxi. The girl say no oh,i just
follow my boyfriend talk,he dey on his way na im
bring me come,na im go come pick me,i go tell
am to drop u for ur house,the wife come gree.
After small time,the boyfriend come,only for the
girlfriend to run go sit for front,as the wife still
dey shock say ha no be my husband car be dis?
She enter back seat,and d girl kon introduce d
boyfriend to the wife say meet my boyfriend,as d
husband turn to greet her,na so he see say na
im wife. Both of dem shock and dey kon pretend
say dem no knw each orda. The man drop d wife
and come carry d girlfriend go house. If na u be
d wife wetin u go do if ur husband come back?
and if na u be d husband wetin u go do/tell ur
wife for d ting wey u do?

Hehe, wait,hw does the reduction of Petrol #
97 to #87: Influence the sealed decision of we
youths? Reducing d price of La Casera would
av been beta. If Jonathan wants we youths
to vote for him, he should do d following:
1. Reduce d subscription of BlackBerry to
N200 naira.
2. Make sure ATM dispenses as low as 50
naira notes 3. Iphone 6 is as low as 2,300
thousand.
4. Even if u dont write exams, u already have
2.0 minumun CGPA
5. Make Tonto Dikeh d new First Lady
6. NTA would change thier boring station
tone.
7. PDP shld change thier logo from Umbrella
to Watermelon or Plantain Chips
8. Corpers should b given 70k per month
9. Free Calls from 7p.m till 10p,m
10. Make Sanyeri d minister of Finance.
ABI WETIN I TALK??

Lionel Messi gets a new tattoo: world recoils
in horror

what can u say about this

30 ‪# Facts‬I Bet You Never Knew About#Africa
1. Gambia has only one university.
2. Equatorial Guinea is Africa’s only Spanish-speaking country.
3. South Africa is the most visited African country.
4. Nigeria has the richest Black people in Africa.
5. Samuel Eto’o is the highest paid Footballer of all time, he received about £350,000 weekly in Russia in 2011.
6. A person from Botswana is called a Motswana, the plural is Batswana.
7. A person from Lesotho is called a Mosotho.
8. A person from Niger is called a Nigerien. A person from Burkina Faso is called a
Burkinabe.
9. Nigeria has won more football cups than England.
10. Zimbabwe’s President, Robert Gabriel Mugabe is the world’s most educated President with 7 degrees, two of them are Masters.
11. Al-Ahly of Egypt is the richest club in Africa.
12. Didier Drogba is Chelsea’s highest goal scorer in European competition.
13. Johannesburg, South Africa is the most visited city in Africa.
14. Zinedine Zidane wanted to play for Algeria, but the selector rejected him, saying they are already many players like him in the team.
15. President Jacob Zuma was once a referee in prison.
16. President Robert Mugabe was jailed for 11 years for fighting for freedom.
17. President Robert Mugabe is Africa’s oldest Head of State and the world’s second oldest Head of State. He was born 1924.
18. The Seychellois are the most educated Africans. Seychelles’ literacy rates (Adult: 92% , Youth: 99%) Zimbabwe is 2nd (Adult: 91.2%, Youth: 99%).
19. Rwanda is a better country for gender equality than England and USA.
20.Somalia got its first ATM on October 7, 2014.
21. South Africa has the most Grammy Award winners in Africa.
22. Ethiopia has the most airports in Africa.
23. Ethiopia’s economy is growing faster than China's.
24. Eritrea’s President, Isaiah Afwerki is the least richest President in Africa.
25. Ethiopia is Africa’s oldest independent country, it has existed for over 3,000 years without being colonised.
26. Haile Selassie 1 was the 225th and last Emperor of Ethiopia.
27. Nigeria has the most monarchs in the world.
28. Angola has more Portuguese speakers than Portugal.
29. President Jose Eduardo Dos Santos has ruled Angola since 1979.
30. President Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo is Africa’s longest serving Head of State. He has ruled Equatorial Guinea since August 3, 1979 when he overthrew his uncle, Francisco Nguema. His son, Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue is his Vice President

Clefcentfelix:
Nah not deaf, slowpoke, the post has been modified! Plus blind should have even been the question, not deaf, abi na olodo u be ni?

oh sorry jare...dnt get mad at me blind man...i do nt kw dat u re also blind..mehn blind people are now creative sha...a(new thread of a blind female photographer)she's nigerian..so nt bad if u re FIRST MALE NAIRALANDER..CLOWN

Clefcentfelix:
His phone has "sun flash"

mehn u guys jst be in haste to looks for mistake..while both of u mistakes each other..cant u hear as at d time of REPORT..abi ona deaf

JESUSchoice:
How will dis help u get a university degree?

dnt reply poo

lexluthur007:
hmm,u really need help,get wel soon

ur fada is sick right...yea he will get well soon...no offence#

namqul:
ode nie infact who b messi cux i school in france

ode ni baba eee ati iya eee...omo alaileko...u jst type nonsense on social network....i jst post this 4 fun afterall messi dnt pay me for this..u better learn how to communicate wit people online...mtchw...omo eran

Gooci:
silly thread by weyrey somebody..
i hate the fact that i commented here

silly comment by oloriburuku somebody and oloshi people like..idiot dnt respect ur self on social network...

10 differences between MESSI
and
RONALDO
1. When RONALDO scores he
points
at himself. When MESSI scores he points up,
2. RONALDO will do 5 skills to beat
1 player. MESSI will do 1 trick to
beat 5 players.
3. RONALDO is compared to
Messi.. While MESSI is compared to Pele and
Maradona.
4. RONALDO shoots where MESSI
would have passed to better
positioned player.
5. RONALDO is hungry for
individual success, MESSI plays for the
success of
the team as a
whole.
6. Girls like RONALDO for his Good
Looks, they like MESSI for his Good
Game.
7. RONALDO scores goals, MESSI Breaks
World
Records.
8. RONALDO plays because he
loves fame, MESSI plays because
he loves the game.
9. RONALDO will make your DAY!
MESSI will make your HISTORY! 10.
RONALDO is
Good, but MESSI is
the best.
Agree or Disagree

Tonylyte:
Olammy u dey craze well well. U create thread come dey insult people? Your head dey gutter.

oga u go sabi drink panadol 4 anoda person headache....nawaooo so nairaland still accommodate jobless graduate.....no offence

dachpee:
My guy please observe football, not looking, I see you abused too on this platform, learn manners, in commenting

frm my analysis it shows dat i watch ball and observe at d same run....abt d manner sorry dnt kw u will take it personal..thou am wrong...sorry 4dat

dachpee:
The EPL is the greatest football fiesta on earth with nothing less than 7 el-classicos,every weekend produced at least one or two

see ur mouth epl is most bla bla bla....d calculation of those folk champion leage won is nt up to realmadrid only...abi epl team no dey come champions leage

7 things For Women or Sister Should posses
before getting Marriage
At -Taqwa:Fear of Allah:
Good women will always love their husband
relation
she'll not allow any evil to befall at her
husband
Even at work:
she fear Allah
When she talk:
she fear Allah
Sometimes:
A good woman marry a good man
A good woman marry a bad man
A bad women marry a good man
A bad husband marry a good wife
A bad man marry a bad wife that is a sign of
Allah .
Quran 66 Vs 10
2 Al- Mawada-- Love and affection
Good wives must keep their husband secret
saved.
Prophet Muhammed(S.A.W) said a woman
that love their husband bear a good
childern,keep secret and dont expose
marities Issue
3 Good behaviour:
Good wives dont expose themselve to other
men.
Prophet Muhammed(S.A.W) said,any man
that he trusted his wife,he know only ten
tricks out one thousand
Quran 4 vs 34
4 Al-AMONAH-Trust
5 Iktimalul Adha-Presverance
6 Al- Nasofa - Cleanliness
7 Al-Konaha-contention
No good women again,so men should
endure.
4 Things For Men and Brother
1 At - Taqwa Fear of Allah
2 Al- Mawada-- Love and affection
3 An-Infaq -habit of Spending
Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth,
and he whose provision is restricted - let him
spend from what Allah has given him. Allah
does not charge a soul except [according to]
what He has given it. Allah will bring about,
after hardship, ease. (Q 65 Vs 7)
4 Al-Sidiqq-Trust
5 Iktimalul Adha-Presverance
Notice
No good men again,so women should
endure....
May Allah grant us a Pious Husband and
Wife.
Ameen

Truth24:
Taaah....Hold it there.... From all indications u're a Chelsea fan.... And of course u choosed Chelsea vs Man city and dat Mumu analyst didn't come to give names to ur option......
And a someone later said Man United vs ManCity and he jumped in to brand it a 'local derby'...... Ain't d both matches (Chelsea and Man united against Mancity) a thriller and always full of tension and suspense?..... Wat makes him then say United vs City match is a Local derby? Mtcheeewww

lol God 4bid...chelsea kor ajax nii...local derby means match btw 2 team frm dsame state...and man.city is a currebt champion nt a champiob by history..

Princecalm:
so santos should be paired with who

corinthians

Princecalm:
It is Liv v Man utd check EPL history and you will know better.
When you take it to turkey it is Fernnrbache v Gala Brazil: Corithians v Pameiras Italy: Inter vs Milan scotland: Celtic vs Rangers.

whr u put juve at italy...at braZIL whr u put satos...bcus i see ur fixture base on record y u no come include those big team

Truth24:
Mumu.... Don't u know El-classico is about two biggest rivals meeting...... Man city had always been United's greatest rival since time being...... Remember wen Legendary Sir Alex Ferguson branded d city side as "Noisy Neighbors".....So d guy is right.... Its definitely Man United-Man city...
#Check out how dis weekend will be like wen d duo meets

bros no b fight nw...coment would av make more aense had it been u dnt include dat abusive words "mumu"

Zambian President Michael Sata has died in
London, where he had been receiving
treatment for an undisclosed illness, the
government said.
Roland Msiska, secretary to the Zambian
cabinet, said in a statement on Wednesday
that Sata died late on Tuesday in London,
where he was being treated.
"As you are aware the president was receiving
medical attention in London," Msiska told
state television.
"The head of state passed on October 28.
President Sata's demise is deeply regretted.
The nation will be kept informed on burial
arrangements."
Msiska says Sata's wife, Christine Kaseba, and
other family members were with the 77-year-
old president when he died.
An official told Al Jazeera that the death had
been announced to the cabinet on Wednesday
morning.
Sata had left Zambia for medical treatment on
October 19 accompanied by his wife and
family members, according to a brief
government statement that gave no further
details.
There had been no official update on his
condition and acting president Edgar Lungu
had to lead celebrations last week to mark the
landlocked nation's 50th anniversary of
independence from Britain.
For supporters who voted him into office in
2011 he was a no-nonsense man of action.
For critics, the former policeman, trade unionist
and taxidermist was an authoritarian populist.
'King Cobra'
Detractors, political foes, the media and even
allies frequently came under attack from a
man who earned the sobriquet "King Cobra".
He once publicly upbraided his whole cabinet,
threatening to collapse his own government if
they did not do a better job.
The final period of Sata's rule saw a
crackdown on political opponents and critical
journalists who reported on his long-
suspected illness and frequent "working trips"
abroad, apparently for medical treatment.
Concern over Sata's health has been mounting
in the country since June, when he
disappeared from the public eye without
explanation and was then reported to be
getting medical treatment in Israel.
He missed a scheduled speech at the UN
General Assembly in September amid reports
that he had fallen ill in his New York hotel.
A few days before that, he had attended the
opening of parliament in Lusaka, joking: "I am
not dead." Sata has not been seen in public
since he returned to Zambia from New York in
late September.
Sata, who once worked as a railway porter in
London, had been the country's president
since September 2011 after winning a tight
presidential race against the then incumbent,
Rupiah Banda.
Source: Al Jazeera and agencies
154 15
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OCT 29, 2014
Zambia's President Michael
Sata Is Dead | Al Jazeera
Sata, who was 77, had been receiving
treatment in a London hospital for an
undisclosed illness.