₦airaland Forum

It's interesting to look back at events I have forgotten. Just reading through this thread and realized the importance of journaling. So, here's an update of where we are.

2 years on from the time of my initial post, He woke me up violently one night and asked me to unlock my phone. We did have disagreements during the day and he was already threatening me. I told him I was scared of coming home because of the threats he had sent, but I went home anyway.
So, i woke up and asked him why should I unlock my phone and the next thing, he entered the kitchen, got a knife and wanted to stab me. I was terrified and because he had been holding the phone and trying to unlock, it didn't recognize my finger print on time. The knife was like 1/2 an inch from my chest when the phone unlocked. My bro was there and called my other brother and my family members and they came with police men to the house. I went outside to meet them and told them everything was under control and we'll sort things out. They insisted I followed them to the station to report attempted murder, but I declined and insisted it will be alright.

Fast forward to the end of that week, I thought long and hard and decided to make my exit plan. I will leave bits and pieces out of this story, but long and short. I did , and ran away with my kids. He looked for us, begged and apologized. I had had enough.
Every eke market day, he sends me insults and begs there after. 2 years down the line, I'm still living somewhere he's never been to.

Got this message from him last night " Just know that I'll hunt you down and end you when the time is right".

If I could talk to my younger self, I'll tell her to follow her insticts regardless of what anybody would say. A failed courtship is far less complicated than a failed marriage.

End of story.

Story too long. Check my previous post for part of it.

Zonefree:
OP, tell us the full story abeg.

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Eketem:
I hope you have made a move.

I did. thanks. they only handle legal separation or divorce. A decision I wasn't really ready to make. I have my kids with me now though.

Eketem:
If you leave the kids he can kill them and commit suicide just to get back at you.

Where do you live? If you live ? There is a lot of help legal and otherwise in for victims of abuse. There are very good laws

I'm being threatened by this right now. Just came to search for the name of the organization you referred me to earlier.

It's addictive. But for me, I haven't watched in over a year. Although, I realized I was wasting 4 precious hours everyday, I couldn't stop. Once football season was over in 2019, I begged my husband to hold off subscribing to DSTV for one month. With that, I lost momentum and haven't watched since then. I really was wasting my life.

I had similar thoughts. What if he had a heart attack because he found out his pregnant fiancée, was indeed pregnant for someone else. And it seemed like a repeat episode?

Shokoloko:
I have never seen a fool in love but what I know is that;

1. His cardiac arrest was not because she dumped him - because she was never with him: She did not hide what she felt for Mr. Nuru. He married a woman who he knew was in love with another man. It is expected that the marriage would be short-lived.

2. His cardiac arrest was not because of shock of discovering the kids paternity - Tunde knew from day one. He is a banker and as a banker you need to have at least average intelligence to deal with financial matters

3. There is another reason that caused the shock and that is what we do not know - maybe we need to ask his fiance

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MrKodak:
I don't think u have worked in a corporate office before. Its actually very much against the workings of FCMB and indeed any bank in general for even colleagues to date, talk more of an MD using his position to harass subordinates. The reason for this is, not to allow anything come in the way of the job, be it sentiments or maybe eventual heartbreak, in which it becomes difficult for colleagues to co-exist, let alone work together, thereby drastically reducing productivity as the bank/company suffers. Its even very likely that he may have given her the job undeservedly or promoted her undeservedly because she agreed to his request. Businesses like this thrive on productivity and there are rules in place to guard against this. For an MD that is supposed to be leading by example, its such a shame people think what he did is okay. Nobody is forcing the MD not to cheat with a married woman or a single lady, but he must not do it in an environment that he is employed to lead and guided by certain rules that he brazenly decided to flout. He must not get away with this.

If they cannot agree, the Father carries the day.

In my case, my husband and I had agreed on a traditional name in my tribe, prayed for the child with this name. On the day of naming, my mother-in-law told my husband, that cannot be the child's name. He should pick one of those she listed from their tribe. Na so name change oh!

No update. Spoke with them and was asked to physically come to the office. Can't explain where I'm heading to my husband , so, I let it slide.

Eketem:
Any update?

Thanks everyone for your comments. I will take my kids and leave when the time is right.

To those saying he can't be a great father. Well, he loves his kids and is very protective of them. His parents are divorced and I was told his Dad was just like this as well. He also didn't joke with his kids. I definitely agree with the importance of right family values which is currently non existent.

I do have some secret recordings saved in cloud which could help in custody battle as long as I'm safe.


Thank you all.

Eketem:
You underestimate a narcissist.

In Lagos please go to the office of the public defender. Lagos is very strong on laws against domestic violence. This is their number 0708 060 1080.

They will guide you. If he is truly as abusive as you claim why will you be ready to gamble with your kids lives.

Thank you. I will get in touch wit them tomorrow.

BigDick70inch:
But 6sta..
That man could not been so cunny to have hidden his abusive trait away from u right from your courtship/dating days..

Why didn't u flee??

Most Kids from broken homes are not always emotionally balanced..

BTW..how old r those kids??

I wish I saw them. Would never have put myself in this mess. I have a toddler and a preschooler.

BigDick70inch:
Yeah bro..
I thought she was gon deny that..
But 10k God she didn't..

she brought herself into this mess..

Come to think of it again bro..

How can her father just decide to ignore her with such a man laidat despite the beatings..

Definitely..this woman was obviously warned never marry to dat man right from the start..but she did..

I only pity the kids..

He didn't ignore me. I haven't even told him about this one. Haven't told anyone. Everyone including his family have advised me to run. In my head, I know I need to leave. Just don't know any other life.

Arsenate:
You really know these women well. They always make dumb mistakes. Always picking the wrong options and when shitt hits the fan they come crying looking for sympathy. Makes more sense as to why women tend to always be unhappy. Bad choices. Bad choices. Bad choices.

Hmmmm. Bad choice definitely. It all happened so fast. Known him since I was little. I would run away when he tried to talk to me. We dated for less than a year (long distance) and got married. I had been working for 5 years- a very good job while he just finished youth service when we got married.As a worker in the church, i had a discussion with the counselors and they said NO. I should hold on- but at the time, we had already fixed the date and everything was in motion.


My Dad also had reservations cos he heard gist in the neighborhood about him.

Gloriagee:
Honestly, shouting on my parents is totally unacceptable.

What would you do?

They only said he doesn't respect me obviously. If he did, he would never insult my parents. And where is the lie?

edoman2016:
When he is beating you in your home, can't you scream so that your landlord or other tenants in the compound bail you out?

Everyone minds their business

Eketem:
If you leave the kids he can kill them and commit suicide just to get back at you.

Where do you live? If you live ? There is a lot of help legal and otherwise in for victims of abuse. There are very good laws

I'm in Lagos. I don't think he can do it. His mum will take the kids if I ever leave them.

Juliusmomoh:
Stories has two side.. Let's hear from the husband first... What make's your husband start drinking in the first place ? .... Has he been drinking before u married him ? .. .

Hmmmm. he used to drink and smoke and I refused to date him when we were much younger. He came back with the whole, he's now born again. he doesn't drink and smoke any more. During our wedding reception, he disappeared for some minutes. When he came back, he had just finished smoking. He told me , his friends made him do it. And that's it. From that day onward, i've seen my reality. Initially, i kept calling his family, but they would tell me , I can't say I didn't know he used to drink and smoke heavily.

This reality changed my attitude early on. I'm definitely not the best wife.

decatalyst:
Whether fake or real story, get yourself out of that union before he make good on his promises.

Person wey don die no fit see 2023 ooo

We've been married for 10 years. He's been threatening to kill me from the very first year. People are surprised we are still together. The threat only got worse this year and a bit scary this year when he told me he has done it in his mind. And he could kill me in my sleep one day.

Iconstar:
Fake story

I've not even shared 1/100th of the things i experience. It's as real as it can be.

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