₦airaland Forum

RealGboy:
I woke up the next morning, drank water and packed my dirty clothes in my bags again. Hopefully today this mad lady will marry me and I'll be able to gain access into that building she sleeps . My plan is simple , once I'm in , I ransack her bag , find the pant or bra and japa (run away). No time to check time .

Immediately I got there I was shocked by what I was seeing , this lady was wearing almost neat clothes and had some funny make up on her face which she did with the help of charcoal , when she saw me she frown and told me I was late for the wedding.

"Haaa my love I'm sorry , you know I'm just coming from germany there was traffic in the air I have to jump down and swim to get here faster ".. I told her . "Leave me jor you kept all my guest waiting " .. she replied pointing to the sticks she gathered as guest ..

Omo to be mad no easy o, I told her I'm sorry and in a bid to pacify her I started dancing and singing again,. She obviously loved my dancing moves and was laughing again in no time .

While I was busy exhibiting my madness + foolishness I was unaware that police officers had surrounded the building,, they grabbed the mad lady from behind and handcuffed her immediately, I tried to run away but they caught me and was trying to handcuff me too. "" Leave my husband o leave us , we no invite you for our wedding o leave us ".. the mad lady was screaming.

" Tani oko werey?Abeg o officer I no be mad person o,I never marry abeg I be labourer pls I'm not mad ".. I cried out.

"Shut up mad man we are taking you to a mental hospital for proper medication don't worry you will be fine and you can continue your wedding once you're okay".. one of the police officers replied..

"Mental health kini.. ahh officer I'm not mad , pls I'm not mad " .. I started begging but they refused and dragged us into the bus and drove off..


While we are in the bus , I tried to reason with one female police officer,.. in low voice I told her " Madam abeg look me well I swear I no be mad person, I swear "..


"No answer am o na so all these mad people they talk , u no mad but u dey dance Naira marley wey u no hear music ?.. werey ".. Another male officer replied ..

I didn't even bother to reply the yeye officer I still turned to the officer and was begging her...

" Okay shey you're sure you're not mad I'll ask you 3 questions if you answer correctly I believe "..

" Ah thank you officer ,thank you so much "....I replied with joy .


Okay first question "what is today's date? "...

Omo which kain wahala be this I said to myself...the truth is I don't even know today's date,na person wey chop they know date .na.chai ..


"Erhh ermm pls officer abeg I no fit lie I no remember pls ask me another question"...

Okay second question " who wrote the national anthem "....

" Haba officer which kain question you dey ask me now ,I no go school how I go know this kain thing na.."....


"Shebi I tell you say na madman ,how person wey get normal sense no go sabi who write National athem"....the yeye police officer replied again...

The female officer seemed to be enjoying my display of foolishness,she turned to me again and said "okay final question. .What is the color of the brazilian flag?"..


.
Hearing this I was mad with rage and anger ,I dey Nigeria this stupid woman dey ask me brazilian flag ,Wetin concern Nigeria man with brazil..out of anger I jumped into her an gave her a dangerous bite on her breast..(I was actually aiming for the stomach but na breast village people carry my teeth go)...

Yeee madman oo.madman o...my breast my breast o...she screamed...


"Shebi I tell you say na madman,"....the male officer replied as he attempt to save his colleague from my hold..

. Next thing I felt a bang on my head and everything became blur ..they must have hit something on my head and I fainted ...



I woke up ...



Typing.....

I been d vex for u for d othy story u no complete, I no vex again.

You are gifted and talented; hope you are make money from it?!

Ugandatales:
Being a creative writer has advantages and disadvantages. Advantages, you get to create a world in your head, write it out, and get accolades from people...for what you created in your head.

Disadvantages...there is a quote by Ernest Hemingway, "there is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typwriter and bleed." You won't understand this quote unless you're a creative writer that has written many books. Creating is a lot of pain. This is why some of the best creative writers have been people that have gone through a lot of pain (myself included).

Most of the greatest writers wrote their best books from a place of pain...from JK Rowling, to Mark Twain to Sylvia Plath. This is not my main account, my main account is my author account, and I have some of the best writers on Nairaland as friends, and most of them confess to this too. So...think of it before you go into creative writing.


About the story the guy is now writing...this is the link to it...https://www.nairaland.com/6465764/im-love-mad-woman-mad

Thanks bro, I appreciate your time. I'm don't intend going that deep. Just good enough to write well on politic and religion.

I mean to be equipped with proper sentence contractions, good diction, appropriate punctuation e.t.c

Ugandatales:
He got a lot of negative comments from readers after the last chapter...so, he feels there is no need completing it now, as the subsequent chapters he posts might even get comments worse than the one he got from the last chapter. So, he abandoned the story and decided to start posting a new story he already had a few chapters of, with the hope that people would like that one like they liked the first few chapters of this one.

You appear to know a lot about actions and reaction in regards to writing.

I wish I could be a creative writer, leaning from you will help.

What's the title of the thread he is writing now, would like to read it.

Ugandatales:
If he had already written it down, he won't have delayed like that. He delayed most likely because the pressure was too much to continue writing after the thread was moved to front page and he got exposure like he had never experienced before. You saw that when he finally dropped one more chapter after the delay, it wasn't as captivating as the first 3. That's because he wasn't himself when he was writing that one...unlike the others he wrote under no pressure.

You are very sensitive, your observation is correct.
But what stops him from completing it now?

I watched it.
I was like, maybe I don't understand or he is exaggerating or maybe he was misinformed by his media crew or something.
5billion no be here.

Aside this I enjoyed every other thing he said.

Ugandatales:
I'm a writer too, and what you said is true. Maybe we shouldn't have given him too much accolades. When I get too much praise on some of my stories, I sometimes freeze...cos I don't know if the next chapter would excite people like the previous ones. The mods should have waited till he completed the story before pushing it to front page.

Ok, meaning the too much delay might not be on purpose; maybe innocently.

I felt he already wrote it down, he just copy drops them in part here.

ChangedMan1999:
Very much.

This is what illiteracy can cause. How can you impregnate a girl two times in 3 years.

It actually 2times in 2years; it two years two months since she was captured..

She only gave birth in the third year.

I pity the poor girl.

Contradiction!

MejiLoyon:
Oooooh. You shouldn't have said it
Now it will happen

Mention one thing you've said that has happened
I will reduce fuel.....now it's astronomical
I will provide security.....bandits and kidnappers are playing ten ten
24 hours electricity I'll provide...... If my gen get hand he for slap me. Constant starting
Boko Haram will be crushed.....you're holding meetings with them. Them and Gumi dey dance sankoloweko
I will reduce unemployment.... No job anywhere
Now this

Please sir, change your statement to there will be civil war....trust me the war won't happen. For whatever you say,the opposite happens.

The louder the man says anything the stronger he does the opposite.