₦airaland Forum

Hi I need a Graphic designer to help with an excellent book cover for a novel(African).
We could work long term if your job is really great.

So If your experience in this area is healthy please send a message to
....

Your messages should include your previous samples please. Thank you.

.

Zero seven Zero six Five nine nine 99 26

Noted with thanks.

Ghost writing made easy.

Project Focus.

Good morning Writer land

Quick and Quality Fiction Works guaranteed.

Back and better.

Bad guys, no time.

Their husbands..

DeeGov123:
Good morning nairalanders.
This is to notify you all that before campaign will next year in Edo state for the seat of the governor, I humbly present my self to be one of the contestants for the next gubernatorial elections in Edo state and emerge victorious as the winner in Jesus name Amen.
This is not a joke this is reality cos I have all it's takes to become that governor.
Am a native of Akoko Edo area of Edo state, a graduate of physics Ambrose Alli university Ekpoma, age 37, 1.74tall and fair in complexion.
I intend to join the labour party next year January and pray to emerge as the winner in the primary election.
My main point agenda is security, food, health, and education.
I believe in this word strongly that if you build a man then the man in turn will build the community, so I going to invest very well in the youth of Edo so as for them to build Edo state.
Pls to all my Edo indigenes, believe in this dream and let's work together, so as to make Edo state our small London.
I will continue on the legacy of the present governor, Godwin obaseki, and add more innovation to make Edo state indigenes happy all trough my tenure.
God bless Nigeria
God bless Edo state
God bless you

No pics? Who are voting for?

Morning guys

GUNITGuy:
Great piece of Writing

Thanks

well what can we say maybe the people of Niger know better, our social media comments notwithstanding. I just hope they know what they are doing.Speaking of social media how many of you love Nairaland and her founder?
If Mr Seun's story was in the Bible it will look like this


Seun Osewa


And it came to pass in the far of land of Songo. Came a certain young man of the name Ouwaseun the son of Osewa. For on the day of his birth his father had turned to his mother saying He shall be called “Oluwaseun” For God has given me a reason to smile. Then, he had lifted him with both hands saying; ‘Thanks be to the Lord God of Adeboye for he had filled my mouth with singing and my mouth doth speak good things. So “Oluwaseun” meant “thanks be to God Almighty.
And Behold Seun grew up in the sight of his father and mother. He was comely in stature and the fair maidens, desired him for an husbandman. He excelled in learning and his mind was of great cunning. His eyes asked a thousand questions, and his mouth ten thousand.
One day, in the evening while his father Yomi and his mother and his sister and his brother and all his household dined at table, eating, drinking and making merry. His Father had again raised his hand has he had done often times and spoken with a loud voice saying, Blessed be the Lord God of Adeboye, of Kumuyi, and oyedepo, for he hath not causeth his servant and his household to hunger and thirst after bread and wine. For he had filled our bellies with amala, and our peppersoup runneth over. Then Seun answered unto him saying, “Baba if thou permit, may i ask thee a question? And his father’s countenance was upon him. And he responded saying ‘yea i permit thee, Then Seun began to speak softly saying;
” Before and Since my birth Oh father thy mouth hath spake always about the Lord God. And my mother’s mouth doth indeed bless the heavens seven times. I beseech thee, that thou show me the Lord God, that i may see him, and touch him.and know that he is there.

And He’s father answered saying; ‘Son, I chastise thee in the name of the Lord, no-one can see the Lord nor touch him, for the Lord God is not a man, that thou toucheth and feeleth. He is a spirit and a flaming fire, and his voice is the voice of a thunder, the whites of his eyes, is a stream of lightening. Who is that man that would behold the countenance of the Almighty and live to tell it. That mighty one who’s sits upon the sphere of the earth and the Sons of men, lay postrate as grasshoppers. Bless The Lord. Son, I say Oh Bless the Lord.

But Seun listened to his Father with all his keenness with all his soul, but in his heart he did not believe.

Then the day came when all the teenagers where to gather at the sanctuary to be filled with the Holy ghost. Behold, Seun was amongst them. Their teacher stood on the exalted altar and ministered unto them with great power saying; ‘Just like the day of Pentecost at the fellowship of the apostles in the upper room. The spirit of the Lord God is going to descend on thy foreheads like cloven tongues of fire and thy mouths shall prophesy and utter a thousand tongues.

And it was so, that when all the host of teenagers began to speak in strange dialects and tongues. Lo, Seun’s mouth spake nothing. He closed his eyes, and breathe a great breathe and desired his mouth to move on its own accord. But his mouth spake nothing. Then the teacher saw him and beckoned on him, and urged him on saying son Open thy mouth, and he will fill it. So Seun tried One more time, But His mouth spake nothing. After this nothing else was said.

After noon, When he got to his portion of his tenth, he looked to his right and to his left, and opened his mouth. But still his mouth spake nothing. So went to the orchad, and looked at the sky a long time. Then he turned south and when he got to his bed chamber he began to write on his papyrus paper with an ink tube that bore a gold-holder.

These are the Articles of Seun The Son of Osewa, As he wrote On his Bed chamber.

Is this grief? My soul is full of questions. And all the days of my life my thoughts sought the Lord God whom my father and mother and my betheren serveth. Where is He? For they say THERE!!! He sits in heaven above the clouds, hence i lifted my eyes unto the heavens, towards the firmament and behold i saw nothing.
Others said HERE!! He lived in my heart…Beneath my flesh. Hence i breathe a great breathe and still, i felt nothing.
Then again they said to me open thy mouth to speak his language. For yea, It is the Lord’s tongue, so i opened my lips yet my mouth spake nothing
So in anger I threw a question at the four winds!!! saying Has the world gone mad!!? and am i the only sane? or am i a lone madman in a sane world?. For how can men worship whom their eyes and hands can neither see nor touch. Am i a borne blasphemer? or a pagan.? Does my many questions mean i love sin?. Is it because i listen to Hitchens the son of Christopher and to Richard the son of Dawkins or Sam the son of Harris. Because their words are trustworthy and full of wisdom? Maybe so.

For Today i Pronounce, and i ask the birds of the air, and the ocean and the lands and the walls and the rulers in high places and low places to bear me witness because i no longer believe, or want to believe. For there is nothing to believe.

Then after a little season and a little while
Seun left his fathers house to study books on the crafts of wires and of metals and of the inguenity of steel and to gather knowledge on the science of netwok and the high talents of programming. in another Region. And on his fifth year he had departed from his school to the wilderness because His own voice had spoken to him, Saying;
” Get thyself a quiet place to reason.for thou shall build me and thy peoples a new land with thy craftiness on thy software of cunny. Where men from all the corners of the world shall gather and talk, and behold, no one shall see the other’s face for they shall all be anoynymous, and all that they shall say shall be in writing, and this New land shall be called Nairaland Because it shall be a land to the Naira. So that it shall come to pass as it was prophesied many years ago by the prophet. Saying “Behold voices spake without faces in a strange and far away Land”

Lo and behold when Seun had done this, the sons of men had rejoiced over his forum. And they had said one to another, saying; blessed be the Lord God Of Nigeria, for he had indeed given our voices a place.
lo and like a dream of the night, the sons of men pitched their tents on the forum and multiplied greatly from, Ten to Ten thousand, and Then to millions and as their numbers grew, so did seun’s wealth, his barns never lacked yams, his goats bore threes and his hens hatched nines.
That was how the Land of Naira came to be through the hand of Seun. But unto this very day, Seun still shares not the faith. Selah.

Let's work together

AT THE SOUND OF THE LAST TRUMP PART 1

1.Across twelve skies and twelve seas a cold giant country abode.
Behold, this empire was so mighty that inside it was a union of 50 empires existing as one.
To keep them together, the founding fathers fasted and joined hands together under the cover of night, blessing it with a single name:

The united States of America.



2.And behold, the inhabitants of this union, grew, flourished and waxed so strong that the sons of the world could not help but marvel from one face to the next, asking questions full of wonder:
What manner of men are these? and is it blasphemy to call this the country of God?
For their skins are as white as heaven and the eyes of their children are as blue as earth water.
We dare not even speak about their minds or their hands, For there is no strange thing,
sign or wonder that their fingers can not bring to life.

Therefore the country of America became famous along the length of the world as God's own country.





3.And indeed after this announcement has gone far and wide,
no man, government or beast stood up to challenge this title, for everyone else said themselves.
"Oh yes...Oh yes there is truly none to be compared unto them"

However only one speech was slightly different from the others and it was a message from an old wretched prophet preaching an uncanny sermon.
"God's own America must remain God's own America"

But many had looked at the man and scoffed saying the old hag must have drowned himself with way too much gin.





4. And it came to pass after many centuries have swept by and a hundred rulers have reigned.
There came a certain leader by the name Joe the son of Biden and by his side was a woman named Kamala the daughter of Harris

Now these two people took the people's mantle and won their election by speaking hot words of accusation and pointing fingers of blame at the former ruler, a man by the name Donald the son of Trump.

Along the streets and markets of America they preached a fierce message.

"Vote out this man with orange for hair for his tongue is bitter one.
Say nay! to his rule for he will bring us war.
Listen not to his doctrine for he was make us beg for bread"

This they did in the day and in the night.
And indeed in the 20th decade of the 20th century the Joe the Son of Biden came into power.
However few months into their government a strange thing happened.....(To be continued)



Looking For A Ghostwriter? I can generate 3-5k Words of Fiction daily, on any given genre.
I have secured countless exclusive contracts on platforms like Letterlux, Goodnovel, Meganovel and the likes
I also write Trendy Fun stories about celebs In Anglian English to attract readers and Future clients. .
If you want to work with me here is my direct contact the number is 070 65 99 99 26

Daystar7:
You're indeed a good writer... I'll keep in touch

Thanks sir, i appreciate.

Wike Funny Man. Nigeria have some of the best politicians yet some of the worse leaders.


If Wike and Tinubu story was in the bible it will look like this.

WIKE And PORT- HARCOURT (The Ugly Irony)

A great Port city surrounded by a hundred rivers flourished. And the inhabitants of it were called the people of Port Harcourt for that was name of the man who forebore the old vison. And when the people noticed that the hand of the Lord was upon their dwelling place, multiplying their rivers and making the port grow richer and richer,
they gathered together under the cover of night and named the place the State of Rivers and as for the Port, they called it; The Port of Harcourt. So that the name will be for them a symbol of their sure possession and ward off the evil eye of the devourer and if the evil eye persists, the power of the name shall cut it asunder.


And it came to pass that when it was time for the people of this rich city to elect a new king to govern the affairs of the state, they said amongst themselves 'Who shall rule us now?. For the previous governor had betrayed us with a kiss, like Lazarus, he had sold us out. He had broken into our treasury, and transported billions and billions of our gold to fuel the ambition of a man who we barely know, a man who was not from us. That same Northerner who had risen to become president of the whole nation. Yea the man Rotimi had whispered to himself saying;
'If only I travail a little while, as kingmaker then surely and in due season even I will become king.
Because of this, the people of Harcourt had knocked their heads together and joined their hands to swear an oath under the heavens saying;
'Never again shall a man like Rotimi rule us.
A man who dances to the tune of strangers in the night and feigns loyalty to his kindred In the day
A man who can lick the spittle of the destitute in pursuit of favour
A man who would dine with the devil and shit on the name of God, Never again!' The people swore and gnashed their teeth.




2

So on the self same day of the election, when the host of the city casted votes one by one. The man who had taken the majority of the votes was a man by the name Wike the son of Nyesome. The youths and Old men leaped for joy all of them shaking their heads in approval saying like Abraham[i] 'We have indeed seen and chosen well.'
For here comes a man who is nothing compared to the former: like a lion his heart is full of courage and his legs turnerth not for any.
He is not a double faced man who would say one thing with his heart and another with his mouth.
His yea is yea and his nay is nay. He is not a man of eye service.'[/i]
And it was exactly as the people had described. For indeed the man Wike ruled the people of Harcourt with a heavy hand, like a strong man he never allowed the decrees of his mouth to come to him void.
When he moved about the city a jolly band of praise singers escorted him, singing psalms.unto him, his praise name was the Wicked Wike.

When the time came for Wike to address his people he climbed up the podium speaking boldy with a loud croaky voice
Saying;
'My people, my people thanks be to God and to you for chosen aright. All my promises to you I shall fufill, a thousand flyovers to your right hand and a thousand to your left and together we shall drink strong wine and smoke in the morning.
I shall never fellowship with the party of my predecessor, a party of vile cancerous men, by the works of their hands our Nation is perishing, and by their hand our state had almost crumbled I warn you to resist them but Yea! The will of the Lord shall prevail.







3






And it came to pass that the man Wike continued to talk in this way about his predecessor and the whole nation rendered sounds of applause to him calling him a bold and a fearless man.
After many seasons the set time for the national election had come. And immediately Wike rose to his feet and said to the council of elders. 'I shall go.'
But the other members of the household leaders had not picked Wike to represent them but rather they had chosen his Nothern mate whose name was Atiku the son Of Abubakar.

And when Wike saw this he gnashed his teeth and said softly to the elders 'I shall remain here but for the meantime I shall withhold my support.'
And it came to pass. Like a dream of the night the unexpected fame of another man surged from the Eastside and swept through the country like a whirlwind. The name of this man was Peter the son of Obi. even Wike had not been as famous as this man for it was a spectacle that was not common in recent time, the household he had emerged from was called the Labour party. And this man was neither from Wike's camp nor Buhari's camp.



On hearing what Wike had said to the council of elders, the eyes of the people were curious, hence they followed the governor about and accosted him In the market place and in the tabernacle asking the same questions; 'Master, Master who would thou vote for who else would thou support I pray thee is it Peter the Son of Obi? For lo you are not a man who would think a thing and keep to himself.'
But he had responded with a quiet voice saying
'watch and see before I do it, I shall say it.'







4


So the people watched and watched and watched but the governor said nothing until the Set day of the election. On that day,
While men started to cast votes for the man Peter the Son of Obi, and while people started to rejoice that victory was sure for the party of labour. A group of armed men went about from one zone to another saying unto the voters:

'Submit your votes now this hour, I say, for we have orders from above!'

And this continued on and on, from district to district from town to town until that late hour when it was time to announce the victor of the event and behold it was; [b]Bola the Son of Tinubu[/b]an elder from former president's household. And the people marvelled in shock.

After this had taken place, the people of the city waited patiently for the mouth of their Governor and behold he had indeed climbed his podium to speak, but in a much lower voice than he was known for. He whispered a parable to his congregation saying:
'An old southerner is better than another Northerner.
And a young boy had thrown a question from the crowd saying
'But My Lord the Southerner is from the self same party you called a cancerous one, the same party you warned us not to fellowship with.'
But the governor had responded this time with an almost inaudible voice saying
'My son It doesn't matter.'

And a great number of the people rented their clothes and bathed their bodies in dry ashes, raising their voice in uniform lamentation saying:
'What is this that we hear now?
'How can you warn us about the devil, then go behind us to shake hands with him.?
Oh what an ugly miracle!
How is this man any different from the former for yea the both them have ended up serving the same master.'

Then a prophet chatstized th immediately saying [i] 'fool yourself not oh people of port harcourt for politics is not your father's game o or your mother's or sister's or brother's indeed it is a game of personal interest.

Selah.'

Looking For A Ghostwriter? I can generate 3-5k Words of Fiction daily, on any given genre. I also write Trendy Fun stories about celebs In Anglian English to attract readers and Future clients. Some of my fun works below.
For direct contact the number is 070 65 99 99 26