₦airaland Forum

Seun Osewa


And it came to pass in the far of land of Songo. Came a certain young man of the name Ouwaseun the son of Osewa. For on the day of his birth his father had turned to his mother saying He shall be called “Oluwaseun” For God has given me a reason to smile. Then, he had lifted him with both hands saying; ‘Thanks be to the Lord God of Adeboye for he had filled my mouth with singing and my mouth doth speak good things. So “Oluwaseun” meant “thanks be to God Almighty.
And Behold Seun grew up in the sight of his father and mother. He was comely in stature and the fair maidens, desired him for an husbandman. He excelled in learning and his mind was of great cunning. His eyes asked a thousand questions, and his mouth ten thousand.
One day, in the evening while his father Yomi and his mother and his sister and his brother and all his household dined at table, eating, drinking and making merry. His Father had again raised his hand has he had done often times and spoken with a loud voice saying, Blessed be the Lord God of Adeboye, of Kumuyi, and oyedepo, for he hath not causeth his servant and his household to hunger and thirst after bread and wine. For he had filled our bellies with amala, and our peppersoup runneth over. Then Seun answered unto him saying, “Baba if thou permit, may i ask thee a question? And his father’s countenance was upon him. And he responded saying ‘yea i permit thee, Then Seun began to speak softly saying;
” Before and Since my birth Oh father thy mouth hath spake always about the Lord God. And my mother’s mouth doth indeed bless the heavens seven times. I beseech thee, that thou show me the Lord God, that i may see him, and touch him.and know that he is there.

And He’s father answered saying; ‘Son, I chastise thee in the name of the Lord, no-one can see the Lord nor touch him, for the Lord God is not a man, that thou toucheth and feeleth. He is a spirit and a flaming fire, and his voice is the voice of a thunder, the whites of his eyes, is a stream of lightening. Who is that man that would behold the countenance of the Almighty and live to tell it. That mighty one who’s sits upon the sphere of the earth and the Sons of men, lay postrate as grasshoppers. Bless The Lord. Son, I say Oh Bless the Lord.

But Seun listened to his Father with all his keenness with all his soul, but in his heart he did not believe.

Then the day came when all the teenagers where to gather at the sanctuary to be filled with the Holy ghost. Behold, Seun was amongst them. Their teacher stood on the exalted altar and ministered unto them with great power saying; ‘Just like the day of Pentecost at the fellowship of the apostles in the upper room. The spirit of the Lord God is going to descend on thy foreheads like cloven tongues of fire and thy mouths shall prophesy and utter a thousand tongues.

And it was so, that when all the host of teenagers began to speak in strange dialects and tongues. Lo, Seun’s mouth spake nothing. He closed his eyes, and breathe a great breathe and desired his mouth to move on its own accord. But his mouth spake nothing. Then the teacher saw him and beckoned on him, and urged him on saying son Open thy mouth, and he will fill it. So Seun tried One more time, But His mouth spake nothing. After this nothing else was said.

After noon, When he got to his portion of his tenth, he looked to his right and to his left, and opened his mouth. But still his mouth spake nothing. So went to the orchad, and looked at the sky a long time. Then he turned south and when he got to his bed chamber he began to write on his papyrus paper with an ink tube that bore a gold-holder.

These are the Articles of Seun The Son of Osewa, As he wrote On his Bed chamber.

Is this grief? My soul is full of questions. And all the days of my life my thoughts sought the Lord God whom my father and mother and my betheren serveth. Where is He? For they say THERE!!! He sits in heaven above the clouds, hence i lifted my eyes unto the heavens, towards the firmament and behold i saw nothing.
Others said HERE!! He lived in my heart…Beneath my flesh. Hence i breathe a great breathe and still, i felt nothing.
Then again they said to me open thy mouth to speak his language. For yea, It is the Lord’s tongue, so i opened my lips yet my mouth spake nothing
So in anger I threw a question at the four winds!!! saying Has the world gone mad!!? and am i the only sane? or am i a lone madman in a sane world?. For how can men worship whom their eyes and hands can neither see nor touch. Am i a borne blasphemer? or a pagan.? Does my many questions mean i love sin?. Is it because i listen to Hitchens the son of Christopher and to Richard the son of Dawkins or Sam the son of Harris. Because their words are trustworthy and full of wisdom? Maybe so.

For Today i Pronounce, and i ask the birds of the air, and the ocean and the lands and the walls and the rulers in high places and low places to bear me witness because i no longer believe, or want to believe. For there is nothing to believe.

Then after a little season and a little while
Seun left his fathers house to study books on the crafts of wires and of metals and of the inguenity of steel and to gather knowledge on the science of netwok and the high talents of programming. in another Region. And on his fifth year he had departed from his school to the wilderness because His own voice had spoken to him, Saying;
” Get thyself a quiet place to reason.for thou shall build me and thy peoples a new land with thy craftiness on thy software of cunny. Where men from all the corners of the world shall gather and talk, and behold, no one shall see the other’s face for they shall all be anoynymous, and all that they shall say shall be in writing, and this New land shall be called Nairaland Because it shall be a land to the Naira. So that it shall come to pass as it was prophesied many years ago by the prophet. Saying “Behold voices spake without faces in a strange and far away Land”

Lo and behold when Seun had done this, the sons of men had rejoiced over his forum. And they had said one to another, saying; blessed be the Lord God Of Nigeria, for he had indeed given our voices a place.
lo and like a dream of the night, the sons of men pitched their tents on the forum and multiplied greatly from, Ten to Ten thousand, and Then to millions and as their numbers grew, so did seun’s wealth, his barns never lacked yams, his goats bore threes and his hens hatched nines.
That was how the Land of Naira came to be through the hand of Seun. But unto this very day, Seun still shares not the faith. Selah.

Bubu

A great tall man Once rose from a small shed in Daura in Katsina. His face was finely cut and his nose was firm. And his gait was steady. At his birth bed, his mother had tended his hair. And it was his father who had gazed at his face and kissed his fore skull and had called him Buhari. Which means, “One who comes from Bukhara, a city in ancient Persia.
And the boy Buhari grew into a fine teenager with a heart of stone. His arms rarely fatigued, neither did his eye ever faint at the sight of blood.
At the feasts, it was he who butchered the lambs, and watch them bleed to death. It was he, who knocked and slew the fowls and watch them whimper and squirm in half life before they kissed oblivion. It was he who guarded the young maidens.
His young heart nursed a grave ambition, that ancient primal desire of the warrior king, that thirst to conquer, to subdue to protect and to rule.

When the boy played at the fields, his playthings and games where different from other lads. He would sometimes carve for himself little cross bows with sticks and petty arrows from dry wood. And toy guns from rust metal. He also recited psalms;
“I am not like other men. I am a borne soldier and a borne king. For while i was yet in my mother’s belly i was chosen. I was borne to rule.
Many years later he traveled to the city of Aldershot in England and Schooled and trained. He became a lieutenant and platoon commander of an infantry battalion.
Later when he had come back home after years of books and training and practice. He gathered fellow soldiers and country men saying unto them;
‘Unworthy men are ruining our country and spoiling the land of our fathers. Shall we watch them?
No! they replied
Shall we fold our hands while these vandals shit on God?
Again they replied No.

So Buhari and other young officers, armed themselves to the teeth and took part in this coup. And overtook the government and the General and leader at the time was expelled, and behold his name was Aguiyi the son of Ironsi.
Another man took his place, and his name was Yakubu the son of Gowon.

Some years after the war of secession, and after Buhari himself had become a general in the army, the soldier struck again. He headed the coup that expelled another ruler called Shagari by name, who was voted in by democracy. After then, he declared himself the king and head of the Nigerian states.

“Hear me O people of the Niger. Be calm, for I have now ceased power. I am Muhammadu Buhari by name. I am young. But my eyes bleed at the sight of the sins that these men had wrought on our nation. They feed fat on our collective gold and have made tenths for themselves from our treasury and their hands have been stained and soiled by corruption. Therefore i hired men of like minds and in the night we bonded these strong men and held them captive, and have now ceased control. Now i say and declare. WAR AGAINST CORRUPTION!!
WAR AGAINST INDISCIPLINE!!

And the multitude responded yay!!

After a shortwhile another General had plotted a coup, his name was Ibrahim the son of Babaginda. And the coup he had plotted angainst General Buhari had succeded, and he too was expelled and pushed out like his predecessor.

Hence the heart of the man Buhari was filled with anger and rage and he indeed vexed a great vexation and wrote psalms;
An abomination hath seen the light
A borne king has been dethroned.
But a tree is a tree and a shrub is a shrub.
For ye the elephant will not throd the earth like mere mice
Nor the peacok like the land fowls.
A prince’s horse will not be mounted by the beggar.
I came because the whole world was sick with kwaraption.
And now the son of man have been pushed out like a commoner, i fear that the nation will go back to lick it’s vomit. I fear for vanity.
Yes Indiscipline is vanity and kwaraption is affliction to the spirit.
I will be back.
I shall come back.
And my rightful place shall i take. He said

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MORBID Fame

1

And it came to pass in the Nigerian industry of Arts and Music a young man from the state of Lagos sojourned amongst mortal men. His name was Naira the son of Marley. He was of a slender frame and the hair on his head fell in twisted locks of dread like the Samson of Olden times.
However unlike Samson who rode on the strength of his right arm to conquer and deliver Philistines for glory and fame. Naira the son of Marley relied on the power of his heavy voice and strange tunes. Tunes that made the son of men yearn for the pleasures of this world, it appealed to their desire to conquer the buttocks of women and drink strong wine and smoke the glorious hemp of the country side of India. So thus like Samson, Naira's fame also spread abroad from state to state and country to country, his chambers were filled with gold and his neck with silver and precious stones. His waist had no belt yet his cupboards were filled with a thousand trousers.
Lo and behold many parents said one on to themselves let us send forth our sons to learn and tarry under him like Joseph in the house of Portiphar for this man bears glory in his right hand and power on the left.
So it was, that a lone father of a certain young man whose name was Moh the son of bad, journeyed forth like Nicodemus under the cover of night to the palace of Naira. Now, when Naira beheld the face of the man's son he covered his face and shouted at his father: 'What is this that you have done? Why have you brought before me a man that carries the noon day sun on his forehead?' Or has thou come to render me blind? But Moh knelt down and spake softly unto him saying, it is not so my Lord, I pray thee, right from the day of my birth, My father and my mother, my step mother, my brother, sister and all the host of my kinsmen all call me the light, My Lord if it pleases you thou may address me as Imòle which is the light.'. And Naira marvelled at the young man and said; 'what meaneth these things?' So he tested him and said; 'sing me a song.' and Moh immediately responded with a Melodious tune and when Naira heard the sound of his music, he said! 'it is like sweet smelling savor, indeed I shall call you Imòle. Come under my wing and be with me. For I have taken I liking for you.' When he had said this Moh's father jumped and rejoiced and sung a song unto the Lord saying[i], 'A great light has emerged from my loin and through him my darkness will be rolled away like a carpet.'[/i] And outside the palace he built a small tenth unto the Lord and called it Imolède.
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2

And Naira indeed took Moh under his wing and of a true thing he noticed that the boy was special, for it was as though the hand of the Lord was upon him. His songs also travelled wide that it was hard to believe that it was a novice who had sung them. Thus when the people listened to his music they would say 'Oh Naira has sung yet another one.' Hence the songs of Moh travelled than his own face. People knew his songs more than they knew him.
One day after many months, Moh ran out into the open streets and rented his clothes and shouted at the top of his voice.
' Hear me oh Nigeria, for I can no longer bear, if I die, know that my master is the killer.'
But when people heard this they scratched their head and said unto themselves; who is this man again? and what are these things from his mouth? for we know Naira and the works of his hand, and the only thing he has ever killed is the beats of his music. but again we shall wait for his Master's mouth for we do not believe this man.' Only one man came out and said 'I believe him.' His name was Bella the son of Shmurda
And when his master finally spoke on the matter he said.
'People of the world take the words from that man's mouth with a pinch of salt, for he is an addict, who smokes better than even I. He drags hemp in the day and ice at night, even the words of his songs he no longer knows.' And it so it was that more people believed the Master more than his servant.

3


'Moh the son of bad, left his master's house to work on his own accord. Even so he still reasoned within himself saying; what shall I do to make the world believe me? For my words hold know substance before these people. Indeed the testimony of the poor is vanity, and wisdom of the voiceless is regarded as folly. so he concluded saying I shall sing more songs and tell my story in them. And so he tried, he sang Peace and Feel good and Beast and peace but those that heard only groved to the melody of the sound, and the others still did not believe.
After many months News came to the world that Moh the Son of Bad had indeed died, and confusion immediately besieged the world. What is this? They asked one on to themselves, who killed him? And others screamed, oh he was far too young! No, to the bottom of this we shall get.
Behold some moments after his death, men and testimonies from different corners of country began to arise. Many of them spake softly saying indeed the testimonies from the mouth of the dead man is indeed true. His friend did not tell a lie and his death was not empty handed.
And shock shook the whole industry; what is this that has come upon us? And how doth the lie of the living become truth in death? What shall the father say and the mother. Many a people went back to play the words of his songs and shout oh, Was it him who sang this? Oh was it him who wrote this?. Oh I thought this was Naira. Was this truly the face to this song? Thus the man Moh became more famous in death than in life
And many stood up in their hundreds thousands to mourn renting their clothes, and many mothers cursed marley with the curse of the breasts. And the men swore potent threats at him. And the nation screamed for Justice, and craved for whatever else lay hidden in the secret to be brought to light. That same light that made the man Moh name himself Imòle, for like the son of man, he had perished so that the grave darkness and fearsome secrets in his industry be revealed. And so it is unto this very day both the young and the old the husband man and the fairmaidens are all screaming for Justice, and Yea Justice shall prevail.