₦airaland Forum

Do you think Mikel obi is foolish for going for a Russian babe or do you think that aiyegbeni is foolish for going for DJ cuppy. Moral of the story: it is better for you to marry a Nigerian from america or a well exposed one from a rich family than to pick one from the village or from a poor family.in short pray and fast verry verry hard and shine your eyes .

I never did understood how immature some people are on this site till I read some of thie comment on this post.

1) dont let anybody deceive you telling him the truth is not the right thing to do .because if he found out about it later it will be the same outcome or either worse and most of the people saying he does not deserve you or this or that would not take it. IN MY MIND someontle that can keep such a secret can as well kill me when the time comes or can do something worse like having another mans child and keeping it a secret

2) I am indeed happy that every thing is okay with your wowomb and that should be the positive you picked from this whole issue and you should be grateful to God and as well as for forgiveness from him and try as much to forgive your self

3) Ask God to send you your own man if at the end of the day he couldn't move past this, because if God gives you your own man it wouldn't matter if you told him this same thing he would love you and trust you more because he knows that later in life you wouldn't keep such a sensitive matter like this or any other type from hi m

4) your own part now is to pray that the will of God be done that is if he is yours he will bribg him back if not God will bring the special one for you.

Finally now because of what you must be feeling don't think about the future for now just take life DAY BY DAY be cause thinking about these thing might kill you or make you kill your self.

I never did understood how immature some people are on this site till I read some of thie comment on this post.

1 dont let anybody deceive you telling him the truth is not the right thing to do .because if he found out about it later it will be the same outcome or either worse and most of the people saying he does not deserve you or this or that would not take it. IN MY MIND someontle that can keep such a secret can as well kill me when the time comes or can do something worse like having another mans child and keeping it a secret

2 I am indeed happy that every thing is okay with your wowomb and that should be the positive you picked from this whole issue and you should be grateful to God and as well as for forgiveness from him and try as much to forgive your self

3 Ask God to send you your own man if at the end of the day he couldn't move past this, because if God gives you your own man it wouldn't matter if you told him this same thing he would love you and trust you more because he knows that later in life you wouldn't keep such a sensitive matter like this or any other type from hi m

4 your own part now is to pray that the will of God be done that is if he is yours he will bribg him back if not God will bring the special one for you.

Finally now because of what you must be feeling don't think about the future for now just take life DAY BY DAY be cause thinking about these thing might kill you or make you kill your self.

ayodeji.noah@rocketmail.com

ayodeji.noah@rocketmail.com

Ayodeji.noah@rocketmail.com

No I've never been raped. But after 30 years as a journalist, I've seen just about everything. So just to set the record straight:

Yes, men can be raped by women. The "how" of it is simple -- male sexual response is automatic enough that men can become aroused against their wishes. But so can women. It's documented that some women have had an orgasm when they were raped. That doesn't mean they secretly wanted it, or even actually enjoyed it. It's just your body betraying you. And it makes the experience even worse.
There are reports of men being gang-raped by groups of women. There seems to have been a spate of these in Africa a few years ago.
Many men who are sexually assaulted by women don't fight back because the idea of hitting a woman is repellent.

For instance, in a group discussion about a book called Tampa about a female sexual predator who escapes justice, I commented, "It's a shame that men get no legal protection." The whole room fell silent,
However, more recent studies have produced some revealing numbers -- a 2012 survey of 40,000 households found that a staggering 38 percent of sexual-assault victims were male. Nearly half of those men reported that their attacker was a woman.

So what's going on here? Well, for starters, if you ask a man who's been coerced, intimidated, or physically forced into sex with a woman whether or not he's been raped, he's pretty likely to say no (it took researchers years to even think to ask men this question, by the way). But they eventually figured out that if you rephrase the question and ask whether or not he has been "made to penetrate" another person, they're more likely to respond in the affirmative.

The reason that made me write this article is i saw the way people reacted due to the rape commited by the (STANFORD RAPIST) and while i totally agree that he should have been given more than SIX MONTH, at least Ten years. The same reaction was not given to the case of a (14 YEARS OLD BOY WAS RAPED BY A GROWN WOMAN) Aand guess what she was only given (WEEKEND JAIL)

SO with the anger that is boiling in me right now i decided to write this article to state a point that the emotional damage experienced by RAPED WOMEN is just as horrible as that experienced by RAPED MEN and (that meme i saw of a man being slammed by a hammer on his balls for rape should also apply to women) in other word what is bad for the GOOSE is also bad for the GANDER

Point of correction that is a woman's article not a man

Read this article on the controversial ted talk by chimamanda adichie and it is interesting I just took a part of it. But to read the whole article go to this site saharareporters.com/2014/07/29/adichies-feminism-vacuums-and-fallacies-gonzaga

Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And
Fallacies By A. Gonzaga
The general tendency of Adichie spitting out her
half-baked opinions on just about every subject is
worrying for reasons much more serious than
their mere shallowness. It’s always a shameful
thing to see Internet users—who don’t pretend to
be intellectuals—submitting in the comment
sections of publications counter-opinions that make mincemeat of those presented and
promoted by the ‘intellectual’.

There has been much backlash towards
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s ‘feminist’ views,
as well as towards her tasteless style of
performance.
Chimamanda Adichie
I have, until now, wanted to stay out of the
debate, mainly because of her arguments being
pathetic as opposed to well-thought-out. But as
the conversation has grown on social media—it
seems to linger eternally, for Adichie keeps
fuelling it with her well-timed, divisive remarks—I
realise thoroughly the significance of the debate
per se, and the need for me to partake in it. I
should mention here that because of certain
factors I consider myself well-positioned to
examine and to present opinions on the matters
in question.
1) The first is that the Igbo culture of south-
eastern Nigeria, which Adichie constantly
attempts to exploit to support her positions, is
equally mine.
2) I left Nigeria to study and settle overseas at
about the same age as Adichie. I left Nigeria for
Finland at the age of 20, in 2005, and she left
Nigeria for the US at the age of 19, eight years
before. She’s currently 36. I’m 29. Indeed, one
might wonder why leaving Nigeria as a young
person is pertinent, and I’ll explain as we proceed.
3) I have since been an integrated member of a
society, country and region where the goal of
feminism was first realised, and where it has
thrived the most—in short and in fact: where it
originated and has achieved its ultimate goal. I’m
talking of Finland and the larger Scandinavia. (I
should state clearly that I live in Finland, visit
Nigeria often, and now write to you from Finland.)
I intend to tackle this issue supporting my points
with ‘the age factor’ and ‘the fact that I can claim a
better practical knowledge of feminism than
Adichie can.’ I’ll make references where
necessary, however, to the first factor of ‘the Igbo
culture being equally mine’.
Adichie said we should all be feminists, backing
that call with a series of shallow points—the most
controversial of which was her argument that
‘Nigerians raise girls wrongly and in ways that
make them feel guilty for being born girls’.
I heard this and it troubled me. I had to wonder
which societies she speaks of: were they the
southern Nigerian ones of the Igbo and Yoruba,
or the northern ones? For, as most Igbo adults
know, women are today better educated in
Igboland than the men. And even when it comes
to employment after graduation—there isn’t
much to be had in the country in the way of
career opportunities, irrespective of one’s gender.
Folks are being trained for economic areas that
do not exist in Nigeria. But even so, the few
employment opportunities in Nigeria today


Not
long ago I tried having a conversation on
feminism with a black South African feminist—
herself a writer just like Adichie. She was
incapable of submitting a single point that was
valid. In the end she gave a miserable example of
a girl in rural South Africa who, on her way to
school, has to stop at a river to wash herself
because she isn’t furnished with sanitary pads by
her parents. When I asked whether this was a
case of gender inequality or plain poverty, she
responded by exiting the conversation.
Although I never took Adichie seriously from the
get-go, a certain reaction of hers did put the final
nail in the coffin as far as my assessment of her
opinions goes. That ultimate event took place very
close to where I live, in Sweden precisely. Adichie
was visiting a gathering there, and when a
member of the audience asked for her judgment
of the Swedish society and people, she answered
that she hadn’t been very impressed. Her reason
was that as she struggled with multiple bags in a
hotel elevator, citizens stood by and watched who
could have helped or simply offered to assist her.
Such a thing wouldn’t have happened in her
beloved Nigeria, she said.
The guests were unimpressed with her reaction,
and I quickly discerned her misguided belief in
eating her cake and having it too. Adichie is
ignorant of the unnerving truism that in the
genuinely feminist countries, like up here in
Scandinavia, women and men cater to their own
needs and nobody gives a real damn about
anybody. How does she expect to be a hard-core
feminist and still want other humans to assist her
in carrying her bags? Seeing that particular video
clip, I knew immediately of her unfamiliarity with
the fact that at the very core of the idea of
feminism, lies the most advanced form of
selfishness the world has ever known.
Feminism has been my reality for all of my adult
life. Well over ninety per cent of Scandinavian
females are inherently feminist—it’s our rule, not
the exception—so I do know what I speak of. And
so if we agree that feminism typically starts out as
a journey, then it’s accurate to indicate that
Scandinavia has long reached the final destination
of that journey. The simple facts of life up here,
which I’ll now present and of which Adichie and
her fellow African feminists appear to be
unaware, should enable the very same Africans,
who’ve been under her constant onslaught, to
envisage their society’s future if they should be
gullible enough to toe the feminist line.
The women of Finland were the first in the entire
world to be granted the ballot. The year was 1906.
Norway followed in 1913. And then Denmark and
Iceland in 1915. But one can always juxtapose for
the purposes of clarity. On August 26, 1920—
fourteen years after Finland did it—the 19th
Amendment granted the ballot to American
women. In February 1918 British women over the
age of 30 received the right to vote, but suffrage
rights for men and women were not equalised
before 1928 in that country my Nigerian
compatriots think is their God—that’s 22 years
after Finland took the step. France was in 1944.
Belgium, Italy, Romania, and Yugoslavia were in
1946. Switzerland was only in 1971—and that’s six
years before Adichie was born—while
Liechtenstein, a country in the very heart of
Europe, had to wait until 1984, my year of birth.
Approaching independence, both the men and
the women of Nigeria voted jointly in 1951—and
it was the first time for each of the sexes. In other
words, there was never a time in the history of
Nigeria when only men were allowed to vote. I
should also emphasise that Nigerian women were
20 years ahead of their Swiss equals.
As a people who initiated feminism and have
finally arrived at the journey’s final destination—a
state of existence completely unimaginable to the
likes of Adichie—this is how we live as
Scandinavians:
1. There is no chivalry left in the land. Men open
doors for themselves. Women open for
themselves. Anything other than that is foreign
and the exception, not the rule.
2. Men pay their bills. Women pay theirs. A
couple visits a café, the man pays for his coffee
and the lady pays for hers. Anything other than
that is foreign and the exception, not the rule.
3. Men do not compliment women. Instead,
because men and women are engaged in an
eternal battle for equality, each party expects to
be complimented. Anything other than that is
foreign and the exception, not the rule.
4. Like the French and the Germans jointly told
Britain when that island nation pushed to
renegotiate its EU membership conditions: The
European Union as an organisation isn’t an à la
carte setting where one enters and decides what
to take and what to omit. You either are fully in,
or fully out. Put differently: there’s no such thing
as cherry picking when attempting to adopt
feminism. You can’t say ‘I want that aspect of it,
but not the other one’. It is and will always be a
chain of realities—imperceptibly linked—and
once you try securing an element, be sure to
welcome the rest which will inevitably follow.
5. We Scandinavians have championed the
feminist cause since time immemorial. Still, our
women over here have yet to invent anything
beyond roadside hair salons. The national
innovation coffers are accessible to both sexes
equally. But it’s the men who continue to invent
and innovate and help this region maintain its
spot as the leading innovator globally. That’s to
say that there is no proof that feminism could
turn women into the world’s top inventors of
things and founders of top companies. The reality
in Finland, after one hundred years of feminism
and equal opportunities, is that men alone still
found the major companies whose taxes take
care of the nation, and when such firms employ
women it isn’t purely for their skills but also for
the sake of diversity.
6. Unfortunate rivalry or war between the sexes
is big in our homes and workplaces.
7. Our families are often broken and passionate
love is now foreign or the exception.
8. It’s not uncommon for our children to be
victimised by battling parents, and for them to be
eventually raised by the government.
9. We no longer make enough offspring to
perpetuate our civilisation.
10. And finally: there is little to zero love,
kindness, and humaneness left around here. We
seem to have stifled all of it with the warring
energy we’ve been emitting for the past hundred
years. This was the reason nobody thought it
necessary to assist Adichie in carrying her bags in
Sweden. Any citizen who argues the opposite is
either delusional or merely lying.
I’m wrapping up and probing: Do I enjoy having
such a gloomy reality as a member of the Finnish
society? I certainly don’t. Can I live with it? I have
been living with it and am now very used to
having it as my reality. But would I like to see the
same system replicated in Nigeria—my first
country? The answer is a strong no. Tellingly,
when Adichie was then asked in Sweden about
how she sees Nigeria evolving and the sort of
society it might eventually become; she answered
that she hopes it evolves into its own kind of
society and doesn’t resemble the Swedish one.
Rather shamefully, this was the same Adichie who
fights tooth and nail to export Scandinavia’s
feminism to that same beloved Nigeria—her only
refuge, my only refuge, from the madness of our
joint Western existence. And she’s eager to wreak
havoc over there in Nigeria with her tireless
presentation of impulsive sermons, keen to upset
the balance, and one suspects it’s also because
she’s desperate to sell more books—at the
expense of her own people’s lives and happiness
now and later.

Read this article on the controversial ted talk by chimamanda adichie and it is interesting I just took a part of it. But to read the whole article go to this site saharareporters.com/2014/07/29/adichies-feminism-vacuums-and-fallacies-gonzaga

Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And
Fallacies By A. Gonzaga
The general tendency of Adichie spitting out her half-baked opinions on just about every subject is worrying for reasons much more serious than
their mere shallowness. It’s always a shamefulthing to see Internet users—who don’t pretend tobe intellectuals—submitting in the comment sections of publications counter-opinions that make mincemeat of those presented and promoted by the ‘intellectual’.

There has been much backlash towards
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s ‘feminist’ views,
as well as towards her tasteless style of
performance.
Chimamanda Adichie
I have, until now, wanted to stay out of the
debate, mainly because of her arguments being pathetic as opposed to well-thought-out. But as the conversation has grown on social media—it seems to linger eternally, for Adichie keeps fuelling it with her well-timed, divisive remarks—I realise thoroughly the significance of the debate per se, and the need for me to partake in it. I should mention here that because of certain factors I consider myself well-positioned to examine and to present opinions on the matters in question.
1) The first is that the Igbo culture of south-
eastern Nigeria, which Adichie constantly
attempts to exploit to support her positions, is
equally mine.
2) I left Nigeria to study and settle overseas at
about the same age as Adichie. I left Nigeria for
Finland at the age of 20, in 2005, and she left
Nigeria for the US at the age of 19, eight years
before. She’s currently 36. I’m 29. Indeed, one
might wonder why leaving Nigeria as a young
person is pertinent, and I’ll explain as we proceed.
3) I have since been an integrated member of a
society, country and region where the goal of
feminism was first realised, and where it has
thrived the most—in short and in fact: where it
originated and has achieved its ultimate goal. I’m
talking of Finland and the larger Scandinavia. (I
should state clearly that I live in Finland, visit
Nigeria often, and now write to you from Finland.)
I intend to tackle this issue supporting my points
with ‘the age factor’ and ‘the fact that I can claim a
better practical knowledge of feminism than
Adichie can.’ I’ll make references where
necessary, however, to the first factor of ‘the Igbo culture being equally mine’.
Adichie said we should all be feminists, backing that call with a series of shallow points—the most controversial of which was her argument that
‘Nigerians raise girls wrongly and in ways that
make them feel guilty for being born girls’.
I heard this and it troubled me. I had to wonder which societies she speaks of: were they the southern Nigerian ones of the Igbo and Yoruba, or the northern ones? For, as most Igbo adults know, women are today better educated in Igboland than the men. And even when it comes to employment after graduation—there isn’t much to be had in the country in the way of career opportunities, irrespective of one’s gender.
Folks are being trained for economic areas that do not exist in Nigeria. But even so, the few employment opportunities in Nigeria today


Not
long ago I tried having a conversation on
feminism with a black South African feminist—
herself a writer just like Adichie. She was
incapable of submitting a single point that was
valid. In the end she gave a miserable example of a girl in rural South Africa who, on her way to school, has to stop at a river to wash herself because she isn’t furnished with sanitary pads by her parents. When I asked whether this was a case of gender inequality or plain poverty, she responded by exiting the conversation.
Although I never took Adichie seriously from the get-go, a certain reaction of hers did put the final nail in the coffin as far as my assessment of her opinions goes. That ultimate event took place very close to where I live, in Sweden precisely. Adichie
was visiting a gathering there, and when a
member of the audience asked for her judgment of the Swedish society and people, she answered that she hadn’t been very impressed. Her reason was that as she struggled with multiple bags in a
hotel elevator, citizens stood by and watched who could have helped or simply offered to assist her.
Such a thing wouldn’t have happened in her
beloved Nigeria, she said.
The guests were unimpressed with her reaction, and I quickly discerned her misguided belief in eating her cake and having it too. Adichie is ignorant of the unnerving truism that in the genuinely feminist countries, like up here in Scandinavia, women and men cater to their own needs and nobody gives a real damn about anybody. How does she expect to be a hard-core feminist and still want other humans to assist her
in carrying her bags? Seeing that particular video clip, I knew immediately of her unfamiliarity with the fact that at the very core of the idea of feminism, lies the most advanced form of selfishness the world has ever known.
Feminism has been my reality for all of my adult life. Well over ninety per cent of Scandinavian
females are inherently feminist—it’s our rule, not the exception—so I do know what I speak of. And so if we agree that feminism typically starts out as a journey, then it’s accurate to indicate that Scandinavia has long reached the final destination of that journey. The simple facts of life up here, which I’ll now present and of which Adichie and her fellow African feminists appear to be unaware, should enable the very same Africans,
who’ve been under her constant onslaught, to
envisage their society’s future if they should be gullible enough to toe the feminist line.
The women of Finland were the first in the entire world to be granted the ballot. The year was 1906.
Norway followed in 1913. And then Denmark and Iceland in 1915. But one can always juxtapose for the purposes of clarity. On August 26, 1920—
fourteen years after Finland did it—the 19th
Amendment granted the ballot to American
women. In February 1918 British women over the
age of 30 received the right to vote, but suffrage
rights for men and women were not equalised
before 1928 in that country my Nigerian
compatriots think is their God—that’s 22 years
after Finland took the step. France was in 1944.
Belgium, Italy, Romania, and Yugoslavia were in
1946. Switzerland was only in 1971—and that’s six
years before Adichie was born—while
Liechtenstein, a country in the very heart of
Europe, had to wait until 1984, my year of birth.
Approaching independence, both the men and
the women of Nigeria voted jointly in 1951—and
it was the first time for each of the sexes. In other
words, there was never a time in the history of
Nigeria when only men were allowed to vote. I
should also emphasise that Nigerian women were
20 years ahead of their Swiss equals.
As a people who initiated feminism and have
finally arrived at the journey’s final destination—a
state of existence completely unimaginable to the
likes of Adichie—this is how we live as
Scandinavians:
1. There is no chivalry left in the land. Men opendoors for themselves. Women open for
themselves. Anything other than that is foreign and the exception, not the rule.
2. Men pay their bills. Women pay theirs. A
couple visits a café, the man pays for his coffee and the lady pays for hers. Anything other than that is foreign and the exception, not the rule.
3. Men do not compliment women. Instead,
because men and women are engaged in an
eternal battle for equality, each party expects to be complimented. Anything other than that is foreign and the exception, not the rule.
4. Like the French and the Germans jointly told Britain when that island nation pushed to
renegotiate its EU membership conditions: The European Union as an organisation isn’t an à la carte setting where one enters and decides what to take and what to omit. You either are fully in, or fully out. Put differently: there’s no such thing
as cherry picking when attempting to adopt
feminism. You can’t say ‘I want that aspect of it,
but not the other one’. It is and will always be a
chain of realities—imperceptibly linked—and
once you try securing an element, be sure to
welcome the rest which will inevitably follow.
5. We Scandinavians have championed the
feminist cause since time immemorial. Still, our
women over here have yet to invent anything
beyond roadside hair salons. The national
innovation coffers are accessible to both sexes
equally. But it’s the men who continue to invent
and innovate and help this region maintain its
spot as the leading innovator globally. That’s to
say that there is no proof that feminism could
turn women into the world’s top inventors of
things and founders of top companies. The reality
in Finland, after one hundred years of feminism
and equal opportunities, is that men alone still
found the major companies whose taxes take
care of the nation, and when such firms employ
women it isn’t purely for their skills but also for
the sake of diversity.
6. Unfortunate rivalry or war between the sexes
is big in our homes and workplaces.
7. Our families are often broken and passionate
love is now foreign or the exception.
8. It’s not uncommon for our children to be
victimised by battling parents, and for them to be
eventually raised by the government.
9. We no longer make enough offspring to
perpetuate our civilisation.
10. And finally: there is little to zero love,
kindness, and humaneness left around here. We
seem to have stifled all of it with the warring
energy we’ve been emitting for the past hundred
years. This was the reason nobody thought it
necessary to assist Adichie in carrying her bags in
Sweden. Any citizen who argues the opposite is
either delusional or merely lying.
I’m wrapping up and probing: Do I enjoy having
such a gloomy reality as a member of the Finnish
society? I certainly don’t. Can I live with it? I have
been living with it and am now very used to
having it as my reality. But would I like to see the
same system replicated in Nigeria—my first
country? The answer is a strong no. Tellingly,
when Adichie was then asked in Sweden about
how she sees Nigeria evolving and the sort of
society it might eventually become; she answered
that she hopes it evolves into its own kind of
society and doesn’t resemble the Swedish one.
Rather shamefully, this was the same Adichie who
fights tooth and nail to export Scandinavia’s
feminism to that same beloved Nigeria—her only
refuge, my only refuge, from the madness of our
joint Western existence. And she’s eager to wreak
havoc over there in Nigeria with her tireless
presentation of impulsive sermons, keen to upset
the balance, and one suspects it’s also because
she’s desperate to sell more books—at the
expense of her own people’s lives and happiness
now and later.

Read this article on the controversial ted talk by chimamanda adichie and it is interesting I just took a part of it. But to read the whole article go to this site saharareporters.com/2014/07/29/adichies-feminism-vacuums-and-fallacies-gonzaga

Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And
Fallacies By A. Gonzaga
The general tendency of Adichie spitting out her
half-baked opinions on just about every subject is
worrying for reasons much more serious than
their mere shallowness. It’s always a shameful
thing to see Internet users—who don’t pretend to
be intellectuals—submitting in the comment
sections of publications counter-opinions that make mincemeat of those presented and
promoted by the ‘intellectual’.

There has been much backlash towards
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s ‘feminist’ views,
as well as towards her tasteless style of
performance.
Chimamanda Adichie
I have, until now, wanted to stay out of the
debate, mainly because of her arguments being
pathetic as opposed to well-thought-out. But as
the conversation has grown on social media—it
seems to linger eternally, for Adichie keeps
fuelling it with her well-timed, divisive remarks—I
realise thoroughly the significance of the debate
per se, and the need for me to partake in it. I
should mention here that because of certain
factors I consider myself well-positioned to
examine and to present opinions on the matters
in question.
1) The first is that the Igbo culture of south-
eastern Nigeria, which Adichie constantly
attempts to exploit to support her positions, is
equally mine.
2) I left Nigeria to study and settle overseas at
about the same age as Adichie. I left Nigeria for
Finland at the age of 20, in 2005, and she left
Nigeria for the US at the age of 19, eight years
before. She’s currently 36. I’m 29. Indeed, one
might wonder why leaving Nigeria as a young
person is pertinent, and I’ll explain as we proceed.
3) I have since been an integrated member of a
society, country and region where the goal of
feminism was first realised, and where it has
thrived the most—in short and in fact: where it
originated and has achieved its ultimate goal. I’m
talking of Finland and the larger Scandinavia. (I
should state clearly that I live in Finland, visit
Nigeria often, and now write to you from Finland.)
I intend to tackle this issue supporting my points
with ‘the age factor’ and ‘the fact that I can claim a
better practical knowledge of feminism than
Adichie can.’ I’ll make references where
necessary, however, to the first factor of ‘the Igbo
culture being equally mine’.
Adichie said we should all be feminists, backing
that call with a series of shallow points—the most
controversial of which was her argument that
‘Nigerians raise girls wrongly and in ways that
make them feel guilty for being born girls’.
I heard this and it troubled me. I had to wonder
which societies she speaks of: were they the
southern Nigerian ones of the Igbo and Yoruba,
or the northern ones? For, as most Igbo adults
know, women are today better educated in
Igboland than the men. And even when it comes
to employment after graduation—there isn’t
much to be had in the country in the way of
career opportunities, irrespective of one’s gender.
Folks are being trained for economic areas that
do not exist in Nigeria. But even so, the few
employment opportunities in Nigeria today


Not
long ago I tried having a conversation on
feminism with a black South African feminist—
herself a writer just like Adichie. She was
incapable of submitting a single point that was
valid. In the end she gave a miserable example of
a girl in rural South Africa who, on her way to
school, has to stop at a river to wash herself
because she isn’t furnished with sanitary pads by
her parents. When I asked whether this was a
case of gender inequality or plain poverty, she
responded by exiting the conversation.
Although I never took Adichie seriously from the
get-go, a certain reaction of hers did put the final
nail in the coffin as far as my assessment of her
opinions goes. That ultimate event took place very
close to where I live, in Sweden precisely. Adichie
was visiting a gathering there, and when a
member of the audience asked for her judgment
of the Swedish society and people, she answered
that she hadn’t been very impressed. Her reason
was that as she struggled with multiple bags in a
hotel elevator, citizens stood by and watched who
could have helped or simply offered to assist her.
Such a thing wouldn’t have happened in her
beloved Nigeria, she said.
The guests were unimpressed with her reaction,
and I quickly discerned her misguided belief in
eating her cake and having it too. Adichie is
ignorant of the unnerving truism that in the
genuinely feminist countries, like up here in
Scandinavia, women and men cater to their own
needs and nobody gives a real damn about
anybody. How does she expect to be a hard-core
feminist and still want other humans to assist her
in carrying her bags? Seeing that particular video
clip, I knew immediately of her unfamiliarity with
the fact that at the very core of the idea of
feminism, lies the most advanced form of
selfishness the world has ever known.
Feminism has been my reality for all of my adult
life. Well over ninety per cent of Scandinavian
females are inherently feminist—it’s our rule, not
the exception—so I do know what I speak of. And
so if we agree that feminism typically starts out as
a journey, then it’s accurate to indicate that
Scandinavia has long reached the final destination
of that journey. The simple facts of life up here,
which I’ll now present and of which Adichie and
her fellow African feminists appear to be
unaware, should enable the very same Africans,
who’ve been under her constant onslaught, to
envisage their society’s future if they should be
gullible enough to toe the feminist line.
The women of Finland were the first in the entire
world to be granted the ballot. The year was 1906.
Norway followed in 1913. And then Denmark and
Iceland in 1915. But one can always juxtapose for
the purposes of clarity. On August 26, 1920—
fourteen years after Finland did it—the 19th
Amendment granted the ballot to American
women. In February 1918 British women over the
age of 30 received the right to vote, but suffrage
rights for men and women were not equalised
before 1928 in that country my Nigerian
compatriots think is their God—that’s 22 years
after Finland took the step. France was in 1944.
Belgium, Italy, Romania, and Yugoslavia were in
1946. Switzerland was only in 1971—and that’s six
years before Adichie was born—while
Liechtenstein, a country in the very heart of
Europe, had to wait until 1984, my year of birth.
Approaching independence, both the men and
the women of Nigeria voted jointly in 1951—and
it was the first time for each of the sexes. In other
words, there was never a time in the history of
Nigeria when only men were allowed to vote. I
should also emphasise that Nigerian women were
20 years ahead of their Swiss equals.
As a people who initiated feminism and have
finally arrived at the journey’s final destination—a
state of existence completely unimaginable to the
likes of Adichie—this is how we live as
Scandinavians:
1. There is no chivalry left in the land. Men open
doors for themselves. Women open for
themselves. Anything other than that is foreign
and the exception, not the rule.
2. Men pay their bills. Women pay theirs. A
couple visits a café, the man pays for his coffee
and the lady pays for hers. Anything other than
that is foreign and the exception, not the rule.
3. Men do not compliment women. Instead,
because men and women are engaged in an
eternal battle for equality, each party expects to
be complimented. Anything other than that is
foreign and the exception, not the rule.
4. Like the French and the Germans jointly told
Britain when that island nation pushed to
renegotiate its EU membership conditions: The
European Union as an organisation isn’t an à la
carte setting where one enters and decides what
to take and what to omit. You either are fully in,
or fully out. Put differently: there’s no such thing
as cherry picking when attempting to adopt
feminism. You can’t say ‘I want that aspect of it,
but not the other one’. It is and will always be a
chain of realities—imperceptibly linked—and
once you try securing an element, be sure to
welcome the rest which will inevitably follow.
5. We Scandinavians have championed the
feminist cause since time immemorial. Still, our
women over here have yet to invent anything
beyond roadside hair salons. The national
innovation coffers are accessible to both sexes
equally. But it’s the men who continue to invent
and innovate and help this region maintain its
spot as the leading innovator globally. That’s to
say that there is no proof that feminism could
turn women into the world’s top inventors of
things and founders of top companies. The reality
in Finland, after one hundred years of feminism
and equal opportunities, is that men alone still
found the major companies whose taxes take
care of the nation, and when such firms employ
women it isn’t purely for their skills but also for
the sake of diversity.
6. Unfortunate rivalry or war between the sexes
is big in our homes and workplaces.
7. Our families are often broken and passionate
love is now foreign or the exception.
8. It’s not uncommon for our children to be
victimised by battling parents, and for them to be
eventually raised by the government.
9. We no longer make enough offspring to
perpetuate our civilisation.
10. And finally: there is little to zero love,
kindness, and humaneness left around here. We
seem to have stifled all of it with the warring
energy we’ve been emitting for the past hundred
years. This was the reason nobody thought it
necessary to assist Adichie in carrying her bags in
Sweden. Any citizen who argues the opposite is
either delusional or merely lying.
I’m wrapping up and probing: Do I enjoy having
such a gloomy reality as a member of the Finnish
society? I certainly don’t. Can I live with it? I have
been living with it and am now very used to
having it as my reality. But would I like to see the
same system replicated in Nigeria—my first
country? The answer is a strong no. Tellingly,
when Adichie was then asked in Sweden about
how she sees Nigeria evolving and the sort of
society it might eventually become; she answered
that she hopes it evolves into its own kind of
society and doesn’t resemble the Swedish one.
Rather shamefully, this was the same Adichie who
fights tooth and nail to export Scandinavia’s
feminism to that same beloved Nigeria—her only
refuge, my only refuge, from the madness of our
joint Western existence. And she’s eager to wreak
havoc over there in Nigeria with her tireless
presentation of impulsive sermons, keen to upset
the balance, and one suspects it’s also because
she’s desperate to sell more books—at the
expense of her own people’s lives and happiness
now and later.

toyota camry 1999: automatic, black

condition and general well being of the car

Engine: very good

Interior: Excellent

Exterior: slightly very good

Location: Ibadan



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