₦airaland Forum

laffytaffy1:
Who is your friend ?

You

Frankmishael:
I was left in tears when i read President Goodluck congratulatory message to Gen. Buhari I was not crying because i felt like crying, i was not crying cause i supported him and he lost, but i cried cause his words arrested my emotions. He wished his opponent a good administration ahead, he congratulated him and accepted defeat. I could remember by this time in 2011, Buhari never accepted that he lost, he promised Jonathan that he will make his administration ungovernable for him and he later fulfilled his promise. His supporters took to the streets and slaughtered innocent Nigerians but he never stopped the killings. But today, he has won that same man that defeated.him in 2011 but got a congratulatory message instead of threats. He has wished him success and not promising him an ungovernable tenure. Few weeks to the election, the people we call our leaders were busy sending threats to themselves and leaving the poor masses gripped with fear. Some people left the country with fear of the aftermath of the election. But today you'v restored peace by accepting defeat peacefuly..Oh! Jonathan, you've shown us that you'r a good man. You'v shown African leaders the true definition of democracy. You wished not to influence the elections with your powers, you wished not to cancel the election when you can do it and nothing will happen. Posterity will never forget you where ever you go. I am still your fan for life. You'r a good and gentleman but surrounded by ingrates and fools that care for their pockets alone. Oh Jona! You lost the election but won my heart....

Long story

Codec:
[img][/img]

Sure C can never die because when E pushes the ball it will come on top of the lever but the other load will balance its weight.

Back to my prophecy column tonight. Sit back and wait for more prophesies today.

Do you know that EVERYBODY, including you can be a prophet? All you need, just think and think and think and think. Then lay your back on your bed and prophecies will start coming before you sleep and then in your bed.

I love you TINUBU:

In other word, check out my daily prophecies here: I prophesied that Naira will appreciate this month, just yesterday, and expectedly today I saw it on NL front page that Naira will appreciate this week:

I prophesied that Crystal palace will play a draw with Manchester City today. Let's keep our fingers crossed and see how it becomes a reality.

Check out other prophecies here: https://www.nairaland.com/2239164/prophecy-column-politics-sport-city

Welcome to Prophecy Column:

Remember, yesterday I prophesied that Naira will appreciate this month. As many of you who saw my prophecy yesterday, check Nairaland front page and you will see it there that Naira will appreciate this week.

Stay tuned as I give you more prophecies today. For those who wants to study petroleum engineering. There is a prophecy concerning that course soon. Stay tuned to prophecy channel on politics section.

THIS NEWS SHOULD NOT BE A SURPRISE TO ANYONE SINCE I, PROPHET OTEMANUDUN HAVE PROPHESIED IT YESTERDAY. FOR THOSE WHO SAW MY PROPHESY YESTERDAY, YOU CAN COME OVER TO TESTIFY TO IT.

HERE ARE MY PROPHECIES I DID JUST YESTERDAY:

Prophecy 1:

Buhari and Osinbajo will successfully finish their tenure. They will do very very well.

Prophecy 2:

One great man of god will be totally disgraced before the end of the year.

Prophecy 3:

This month, Naira will appreciate.

Prophecy 4:

Wike and Patience Jonathan will have a very great disagreement with each other

Prophecy 5: Crystal Palace will play a draw with Manchester City tomorrow

Join me tomorrow for fresh prophesies. Till then, stay blessed.

Join me for more prophesies at: https://www.nairaland.com/2239164/prophecy-column-politics-sport-city

drollster:
Haruna? I thought he was defenestrated.

Defenestrated is the past tense of a tough grammar

I joined Nairaland as an angel who doesn't want to hurt a fly, emotional and doesn't want anyone to hurt his feelings. But having spent more than a year here, all that have changed. Having read many topics, I have become wiser, stronger and with reduced emotions.

Here are the ten things I have learnt from Nairaland:

Don't try to please everyone. Be original
The fact that Nairaland is a faceless forum doesn't mean that their are more fake people here than Facebook. In fact, on Facebook, many people are fake. They all play saints in pretense because of the bouquet of pictures in their timeline, their home addresses, phone numbers and so on that could be easily located. But on Nairaland, people express their real minds without fear or favour.

If you can survive NL insults, you can survive in the real world

You will hardly get insulted on Facebook because everyone is trying to hold his or her head. But here, even if you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, they will come for you and abuse you as if you have a hand in the kidnap of the CHIBOK's girls. Many people deleted their Nairaland accounts because of 'insults at first sight' they got on day one here. But for many of us who survived it, it would be easy to survive insults from anyone in the world.

Don't ever try to be over-nice. Do what you can do and leave the rest

You can't win a single heart here by offering bonanzas. Many people have tried it here on Nairaland, thinking they will be able to take many people to their blogs by so doing. It doesn't work that way. You can't win people's heart by offering recharge cards and money, because as soon as you run out of money, people will unfollow you here. Rather, win their heart by offering your talent- be it joke or stories, etc.

No matter the rubbish you say, someone here will still click like for it.

This might sound strange but it's the truth. The way people see things are different. To you, a particular person seems to be always on point, while to some the person is boring. This also transcend to real life situation. You may hate FFK, but those who likes him are still everywhere around him. You may like GMB but some people never want to hear his name.

Nobody is a perfect grammarian. We are all learning

Here on Nairaland, if you are the type who loves to watch over other people's English to correct them each time they made the slightest error, then be sure you are not safe too. Many eyes will be on you and any time you fall into grammatical error-trap yourself, you are in soup.

Nigerians are very tribalistic and religious conscious

With the event of election unfolding, I have just come to the realisation that tribalism is the order of the day in Nigeria. Mere living in a geopolitical region of Nigeria will not let you know the level of tribalism in this country. I have spent most of my life in the SOUTHWEST and I didn't know that there is a preference for one tribe or ethnic over the other until I entered this aeroplane called Nairaland where I got to know the true state of the land called Nigeria. Infact, River Niger and River Benue are not just there for figurehead. They have really divided this nation big time. You will agree with me that anytime there is a crime news on the front page, people are interested in knowing the names and the tribe of such culprits just to insult his tribe. This is too bad!

If you can handle pressure on Nairaland, then you can handle it anywhere

At first, I am always scared whenever I found out that I have a 'mention', but over time, I intentionally seek after mentions by all means. I laugh happily whenever the mention is a critical and indicting one. The other guy there who quoted you may be seriously angry with your post, but you ain't bothered. Instead you find pleasure in doing it. That's exactly the games politicians in the outside world are playing on us.

Keeps me abreast of information and current affairs.

I have lost interest in current affairs long ago when it hadn't done my life any good. But during this election period I fall in love with it again. Thanks to the GEJtill2019 people who made the fun a spicy one for me as well as the CHANGE agents who helped us with hilarious pictures every now and then.

Don't expect too much from whatever you are doing. Just do and pray to God. Don't count your eggs before it hatched

How frustrating it always looked whenever I opened a thread and only 25 to 30 viewers come by it, with no comment at all from them all. It looked really disappointing; a thread you spent hours typing and checking dictionaries and other reference materials for, believing that it will surely make frontpage. This really taught me that you don't need to do your things for FP all the time. Just write because you love writing, that's all.

Don't believe every news

Many news are not true. One have to follow his or her discretion whenever a news is aired. With internet, e-liars are many nowadays. People just tell lies on and on. I have learnt not to believe all the stories I find on social media. I follow my own commonsense.

What have you gained from Nairaland? Add yours.

Prophecy 1:

Buhari and Osinbajo will successfully finish their tenure. They will do very very well.

Prophecy 2:

One great man of god will be totally disgraced before the end of the year.

Prophecy 3:

This month, Naira will appreciate.

Prophecy 4:

Wike and Patience Jonathan will have a very great disagreement with each other

Prophecy 5: Crystal Palace will play a draw with Manchester City tomorrow

Join me tomorrow for fresh prophesies. Till then, stay blessed.

Enough is enough! I can't wait any longer! Now is the time for me to start my own prophecy. I must be popular by all means. I know many Nigerians will follow me if I prophesy truth to them. I have waited for so long, now is the right time.

Every day, check this thread for daily prophecy. Especially political prophesies. Later I will give you my account number, so that after I have prophesied and it has come to pass, you can drop your money in my offering bag(bank account).

I won't tell you the source of my prophetic power; all you want is prophecy abi? So, relax and enjoy yourself.

Adonbilivit

donttouch:
So they have not told you that your general said you should not expect miracle; that he do not know what to fight them with?

So dont celebrate yet

Does he look like a magician to you before? He is a general, not a magician FYI.

Bennymontana:
[quote author=otemanuduno post=such a pity u really tink buhari's a redemner! Smh

No, Buhari is a Muslim, he is not a REDEEMER, because he doesn't attend RCCG

Yeske2:
OP, you are very wicked o. He'd be an Ex-President soon, allow this guy na. Una wan kill am?

He shall not die but live to declare his asset and vomit all the money he was sharing.

Lewisj:
.....And you are so DAFT! I scrolled back to the pic to see if I could find any connection with it and your post, 'Lo and behold' there was none. Now ask yourself, who is really clueless between you and Gej? Give yourself 3 knocks.

I am programmed nah. Programmed to post that thing on FP till I get banned to return anoda day Actually, you are the most clueless of the three of us.

those times when we were warning you TANOIDS to stop shouting GEJtill2019 up and down, una nor hear word. Now it's my time to make fun of all GEJITEStillMAY29.

shawnfamous:
Shey na d attorney b dis? E jst b like sey mk i matchet ein head! Jona knows what he is doing! JONA till 2019

you don JONS. I wonder how many JONA TILL 2019 errors you'll now have to correct.

Since Jonah has made railway functional in Nigeria again, I guess he would have to be travelling back to Otuoke by rail. Oh! But he forgot to get a standard train. As Bastard Okupe said, Nigeria cannot afford a standard train because we are not America.

Well, Jonah will have to endure the slow trek or crawl of the train he said he has made effective. But wait a minute, is any railway channeled towards Otuoke? I think no, because OTUOKE is a riverine area, but I can't advise Jonah to go their by ship because Jona can sleep very well and when Jonah sleeps, definitely the sea will be turbulent and the ship might capsize.

Well, even if the ship is wavering in the sea, their is always a way out. Every Jonah is a statesman, who will do wrong things in the beginning and get famed for the 'injury time' single good thing ever. I remember biblical Jonah. He offered to be thrown into the sea and got swallowed up by a fish instead of making everybody perish, he desired to perish alone.

Jonah said, "My ambition is not worth the blood of any Nigerian." I mean GEJ.

BonaVIta:
Will you ever be logical or sensible while dropping words in the public?

Idiaaat

Not until you're leading by example.

BTW, enjoy this to develop your sense:

[b]

Since Jonah has made railway functional in Nigeria again, I guess he would have to be travelling back to Otuoke by rail. Oh! But he forgot to get a standard train. As Bastard Okupe said, Nigeria cannot afford a standard train because we are not America.

Well, Jonah will have to endure the slow trek or crawl of the train he said he has made effective. But wait a minute, is any railway channeled towards Otuoke? I think no, because OTUOKE is a riverine area, but I can't advise Jonah to go their by ship because Jona can sleep very well and when Jonah sleeps, definitely the sea will be turbulent and the ship might capsize.

Well, even if the ship is wavering in the sea, their is always a way out. Every Jonah is a statesman, who will do wrong things in the beginning and get famed for the 'injury time' single good thing ever. I remember biblical Jonah. He offered to be thrown into the sea and got swallowed up by a fish instead of making everybody perish, he desired to perish alone.

Jonah said, "My ambition is not worth the blood of any Nigerian." I mean GEJ.[/b]

Zellie:
When will you have sense, just small

As soon as your sense is more than mine

BTW, read this to develop your sense:

[b]
Since Jonah has made railway functional in Nigeria again, I guess he would have to be travelling back to Otuoke by rail. Oh! But he forgot to get a standard train. As Bastard Okupe said, Nigeria cannot afford a standard train because we are not America.

Well, Jonah will have to endure the slow trek or crawl of the train he said he has made effective. But wait a minute, is any railway channeled towards Otuoke? I think no, because OTUOKE is a riverine area, but I can't advise Jonah to go their by ship because Jona can sleep very well and when Jonah sleeps, definitely the sea will be turbulent and the ship might capsize.

Well, even if the ship is wavering in the sea, their is always a way out. Every Jonah is a statesman, who will do wrong things in the beginning and get famed for the 'injury time' single good thing ever. I remember biblical Jonah. He offered to be thrown into the sea and got swallowed up by a fish instead of making everybody perish, he desired to perish alone.

Jonah said, "My ambition is not worth the blood of any Nigerian." I mean GEJ.[/b]

Since Jonah has made railway functional in Nigeria again, I guess he would have to be travelling back to Otuoke by rail. Oh! But he forgot to get a standard train. As Bastard Okupe said, Nigeria cannot afford a standard train because we are not America.

Well, Jonah will have to endure the slow trek or crawl of the train he said he has made effective. But wait a minute, is any railway channeled towards Otuoke? I think no, because OTUOKE is a riverine area, but I can't advise Jonah to go their by ship because Jona can sleep very well and when Jonah sleeps, definitely the sea will be turbulent and the ship might capsize.

Well, even if the ship is wavering in the sea, their is always a way out. Every Jonah is a statesman, who will do wrong things in the beginning and get famed for the 'injury time' single good thing ever. I remember biblical Jonah. He offered to be thrown into the sea and got swallowed up by a fish instead of making everybody perish, he desired to perish alone.

Jonah said, "My ambition is not worth the blood of any Nigerian." I mean GEJ.

You too fine eeh(not a gay though)

Okay, seen

Jona is like the thief on the cross. When he saw that there is no way he could rig the election anymore, he quickly said, "Baba, I accepted defeat."

Jona is so clueless that he didn't know how to successfully rig an election, though he tried many methods, but they didn't work.

That's what you do after losing big time, thinking Buhari will change his mind

Thief in the congregation.

haywire1:
I wonder when human beings start deflecting




*

Same way you are wondering how Amaechi deflected to APC abi.

To Be A Statesman By Rudolf Ogoo Okonkwo
The rest of the world is humoring us when they say that Jonathan is a statesman. They are buying into that our foremost malice, low expectations. This is exactly why we are where we are. We celebrate mediocrity. We worship people who have failed and we wonder why we have not climbed any higher.


International diplomats are falling over themselves to ascribe the title of statesman to President Goodluck Jonathan. In the politically correct language of today, he conceded defeat in the March 28th presidential election, and, as such, had done something rarely seen before in Africa. It’s the prerogative of diplomats to lie for their government and our government and anyone who cares to listen to diplomats.

It is also our prerogative to resist such a lie. It is important that we do so, otherwise Wikipedia-bred historians will soon hitch the same wagon and market to generations yet unborn the false construct of those interested in massaging the ego of failed politicians in the name of maintaining the predominant world order.

Even if President Jonathan was not dragged to the phone and cajoled to make a call; even if he was not promised immunity from prosecution by the National Peace Committee and other interest groups influential in Nigerian affairs—the idea that he became a statesman after hours of cooking up figures in the South South and South East and hoping to make up for the deficits from the figures from the North, some also cooked, some written by underage children, he came to the conclusion that he had been beaten aerially.

We could as well call Olusegun Obasanjo a statesman for not going for a 3rd term when it was clear that he tried all he could but failed. And while we are at it, maybe we should also call Sani Abacha a statesman for agreeing to die just to clear the way for Nigeria to move forward with the fourth republic.

Not even the Americans who are at the helms of this Jonathan praise and worship gave their own Richard Nixon credit and the ‘title’ of a statesman when he resigned following his impeachment. Nixon resigned while still screaming that he was ‘not a crook’ following the Watergate scandal. America was facing a constitutional crisis had Nixon chosen to hang on to power. But soon after powerful members of his Republican Party visited him and withdrew their support for him, he knew the game was over.

In the case of Nixon, we had audio recording of all he said inside the White House. If we could obtain such an audio of Jonathan’s words in the last three days before and after the election, we would be calling for an impeachment and not statesmanship.

In any case, if Jonathan had wanted to be a statesman, there were little steps he should have taken all through the six years he was at the helms of Nigerian affairs. If Jonathan has wanted to be a statesman, his first action as president after winning a four-year term would not have been to order the Central Bank of Nigeria to pay convicted felon $1.1 billion. On April 29, 2011, President Goodluck Jonathan secretly approved the transfer of $1.1 billion to the London account of Malabu Oil and Gas owned by former Minister of Petroleum and a convicted money launderer, Dan Etete and Sani Abacha’s son, Mohammed. The money came from funds paid to the Federal Government by two multinational companies; Nigeria Agip Exploration Limited and Shell Nigeria as part of the settlement of the Malabu oil block case between the Federal Government, Malabu and the two multinational oil companies.

If Jonathan had wanted to be a statesman, he would not have refused to publicly declare his assets as was done by his predecessor, Umaru Musa Yar’Adua. And when challenged about the constitutionality of declaring his assets, he would not have retorted, “I don’t give a damn!” If Jonathan had wanted to be a statesman, he would not have pardoned the convicted felon, Diepreye Alamieyeseigha and soon after began the illogical argument that stealing is not corruption. If Jonathan had wanted to be a statesman, he should not have allowed his minister of aviation, Stella Oduah to continue to be in office amidst scandal over the purchase of N225 million naira bulletproof cars. And after he was forced to set up a presidential committee to look into it, he would have made the recommendations of the committee public.

BTW, this is how Jona lost the election

2013- GEJ has 100 million fans.

2014-
30 million deflected after the CHIBOK issue

2014- Wife said there is God o, 20 million deflected

2014- GEJ has 50 million fans, he said STEALING IS NOT CORRUPTION, 10 million people deflected, remaining 40 million.

2014- He bribed our pastors, 5 million deflected, remaining 35 million

2014- Bomb blasts- 2 million people deflected, remaining 33 million

2014- Okupe said he is a bastard, 2 million people deflected, remaining 31 million

2015- Fayose said his mother wears Pampers, 5 million people deflected, remaining 26 million

2015- FFK kept on blabbing. 6 million people deflected, remaining 20 million

2015- Mama PEACE said you should stone anybody who says CHANGE. 5 million people deflected, remaining 15 million

2015- AIT showed documentary of Tinubu + Islamisation ish; 15 million people was added, making 30 million

2015- Jonathan couldn't answer many questions in international interviews (so clueless) 10 million deflected, remaining 20 million

2015- Naira value falls and Okonjo Iweala was telling us that WE HAVE THE STRONGEST ECONOMY. Guys vex and deflected. 5 million left, remaining 15 million

2015- Bribery continues, OPC leader awarded contract; 1 million deflected, remaining 14 million.

2015- Shifted election; 1 million deflected, remaining 13 million

2015- Hired Nigerians protested at CHATHAM against Buhari. They interviewed them and found them clueless like the person who sponsored them. 2 million Nigerians deflected, remaining 11 million.

2015- GEJ's paid soldiers said CHIBOK's girls are now in GWOSA. Sharply 1 million deflected, remaining 10 million, but 2 million gullible people joined, making 12 million

2015- FFK kept on running his mouth. 1 million left, remaining 11 million

2015- Election was held and GEJ has 11 million votes + 1 million rigging = 12 million.

Thus, GEJ lost the ELECTION!!!