Overwhelmd's Posts
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 Family › Re: My Son Lied To Us For Three Years, That He Was In The University. by overwhelmd(op): 8:16pm On Nov 28, 2011 |
[quote author=prof.femi link=topic=812087.msg9648759#msg9648759 date=1322489145]@Outstrip You do not need to be rude na. How can you say of a mother of 7 asking for advise: "The parents are not serious minded either". It's all the more painful because YOU ARE WRONG! I have been a lecturer for a few years now (ahem) and I can count on my digits the number of parents that have actually come up to me for regular updates of their children's performance , especially in cases like these in which the child seems OK academically (note his WAEC and UME results?). So please get off your high horse. If you have advice, spill it, if not, leave things you know little about alone. @OP People have tried to be helpful but please note this: we are all trying to psychoanalyze a boy based on a few paragraphs of info. We're basically shooting in the dark, I will try to be brief because this subject is one that usually requires long discussions with academic advisers. 1. You should not force your child to do something he does not like 2. However, sometimes, due to the wisdom that comes from being older, you may "know" that a particular path he is treading is not as good as alternatives (for example, if you ask me, for reasons I can't go into now, Open university is not a good idea) 3. In such situations, if you try to convince him by yourself, he won't bulge. You will risk pushing him away from you. 4. I suggest you find someone in academic or IT circles that he respects or could respect. instead of advising him yourself, help yourself by trying to make sure that at least he's listening to advise from people who know what they are talking about. 5. His case is not as unusual as you (or he!) might think 6. Whatever else you do, try to avoid either of two extremes: pushing him away or making every talk a change "to help him repair his life" VERSUS pretending everything is rosy and completely avoiding the issue. He's no kid, and will hate either extrems. 7. Once again, nobody would hope to offer mush help on this kind of issue using a few paragraphs. I have engaged students on similar discussion for months and even after that, success is unfortunately not assures. 8. Best of luck. I admire you for looking for help for your kid in every possible forum. Keep at it, and he WILL thank you for it WHEN (not if!) he makes it.[/quote]Hey prof Yours is unique and very beneficial to me for my case. Fortunately all the points you raised my responses are positive. I sincerely appreciate your contributions and encouragement. Will see how we can discourse on this "one on one" Thank you. (1) |
| Family › Re: My Son Lied To Us For Three Years, That He Was In The University. by overwhelmd(op): 7:22pm On Nov 28, 2011 |
worldstevo: |
| Family › Re: My Son Lied To Us For Three Years, That He Was In The University. by overwhelmd(op): 7:11pm On Nov 28, 2011 |
To all and sundry am grateful. The responses coming in are overwhelming. Most are enlightening, though some are mockery, while others are derogatory, but I welcome them. they make some difference, to me and to other vulnerable parents. I Shall endeavor to answer or through some light to some questions that might lead to additional information/advises. Once more thanks all. |
| Family › Re: My Son Lied To Us For Three Years, That He Was In The University. by overwhelmd(op): 9:00pm On Nov 27, 2011 |
coogar:My gratitude for the response. Before the discovery of the truth (2009) he was seriously talking of wanting to go to India for the "cisco-computer networking" but we didnt allow that because we are of the believe that "that comes after 1st degree graduation". Is that certification course possible without the 1 st degree? If he gets "cisco" does that qualify him into the labour market of "computer science" requirement? OYINBOGOJU:Thanks for all you said, but my fear (our fear) is that he might not do the right thing there too, because he was basically leaving with us while in the University, he was coming home almost every weekend as the University not too far from our home (less than 70km). We never imposed our wishes on him, he chose to read Computer Science and we wished him well. All we are praying for was for him to build himself up by graduating and then getting a job or any other thing. But a university degree must come first. OYINBOGOJU:Yes we asked him his plans and he gave two:- (a) wants to do business (b) wants to studies in the Open University. But our observations and fears are (1) Doesn't have the capital, connection and experience to start a business (2) from current event he is not responsible enough to do the Open university system and it takes too long to graduate. NiaLong:Thanks for yours especially bold ones, That might equally give a wrong impression to his younger ones. 2goodbobo: |
| Family › Re: My Son Lied To Us For Three Years, That He Was In The University. by overwhelmd(op): 2:06am On Nov 27, 2011 |
@davidylan (m) Thanks for your response. But he is my child, he is my responsibility, to be in my house till he gets his own. What job can he get with Secondary School cert? In Nigeria today a graduate with a degree hardly gets a job, how then can a School cert holder? |
| Education › My Son Lied To Us For Three Years, That He Was In The University. by overwhelmd(op): 1:55am On Nov 27, 2011 |
[b]Chose this section of the forum because am of the believe I will get a candid advise. Am a mother of seven, the first three have graduated. The fourth a boy(24yrs). (All his 9 papers in WAEC were excellent so was his JAMB). He was admitted too into a University to read his chosen course in 2005. In 2009 the year we expected him to graduate, he told us that he failed a paper in his 2nd year so didn't graduate 2009, but would graduate 2010. We sympathized and encouraged him to work harder to clear the course and complete his program. In all these 5 years we supported him morally and financially as we did to the previous three, his siblings. He even told us of the project he was to write before graduating in 2010. He wrote and completed the project even gave us a copy. I was so happy and was looking forward to his NYSC in 2011. Though his dad, always looked suspicious of him. When it was time for the NYSC, we found out certain things he was saying about the service were not logical. At this point I asked him for documents relating to his academic activities, he could not give me any. So we decided to go to the University and find out. It was then we found out that he was withdrawn from the University in his 2nd year (2007). So all these years he was lying. I was shocked & devastated. We then decided he should start all over, by taking the next JAMB, and further advised that, if his previous course was difficult he should change to another, but he is refusing that. He is insisting to do the "Open university" which i feel is too long a program (duration of completing a degree). He now avoid discussions with us, keeps himself in the room for the whole day becoming irritable & very hostile especially to the younger ones. what do I do, what do I say, how best do I go about this please?[/b] |
| Family › My Son Lied To Us For Three Years, That He Was In The University. by overwhelmd(op): 1:46am On Nov 27, 2011 |
[b]Chose this section of the forum because am of the believe I will get a candid advise. Am a mother of seven, the first three have graduated. The fourth a boy(24yrs). (All his 9 papers in WAEC were excellent so was his JAMB). He was admitted too into a University to read his chosen course in 2005. In 2009 the year we expected him to graduate, he told us that he failed a paper in his 2nd year so didn't graduate 2009, but would graduate 2010. We sympathized and encouraged him to work harder to clear the course and complete his program. In all these 5 years we supported him morally and financially as we did to the previous three, his siblings. He even told us of the project he was to write before graduating in 2010. He wrote and completed the project even gave us a copy. I was so happy and was looking forward to his NYSC in 2011. Though his dad, always looked suspicious of him. When it was time for the NYSC, we found out certain things he was saying about the service were not logical. At this point I asked him for documents relating to his academic activities, he could not give me any. So we decided to go to the University and find out. It was then we found out that he was withdrawn from the University in his 2nd year (2007). So all these years he was lying. I was shocked & devastated. We then decided he should start all over, by taking the next JAMB, and further advised that, if his previous course was difficult he should change to another, but he is refusing that. He is insisting to do the "Open university" which i feel is too long a program (duration of completing a degree). He now avoid discussions with us, keeps himself in the room for the whole day becoming irritable & very hostile especially to the younger ones. what do I do, what do I say, how best do I go about this please? [/b] |
| Politics › Re: Suicide Bomber Shot Dead In Borno by overwhelmd: 10:52pm On Aug 17, 2011 |
^^^^ Well said my sister, dont underestimate Naija police. |
| Politics › Re: Today Is Babangida's Birthday: Say Something Nice To Him by overwhelmd: 9:49pm On Aug 17, 2011 |
If these comments are what you meant to be "something nice" then I reserve mine, kai Nlanders I fear una!!! |
| Romance › Re: Why Do Women Prefer Uk/US Based Guys To Nigeria/africa Based Guys? by overwhelmd: 9:47pm On Aug 17, 2011 |
What a shame! So this what they go through and come back home to say they are making it? |
| Politics › Re: Renewed Jos Crises: 1 Post-ume Candidate Killed •as Stf Recovers More Bodies by overwhelmd: 9:38pm On Aug 17, 2011 |
@haka nai Well Anguwan Rukuba like i know is mainly xtian.How did that then happen  ?Mistaken identity,they took him for Muslim/Hausa or what?Definitely this is a xtian friendly fire!!!!Because once the alarm rings all will never step within 3 Km of a rivals territory except you have a death wish.Xtians largely avoid transit through main town and prefer the Bauchi ring road and bye pass.Maybe he took the route to avoid the violence and got hit by his own.Considering he wasn't shot.It means some came up close.That leaves doubt if a Muslim could go into a strong xtian area to stab someone and retreat like that especially where both sides have mask men. Anyway RIP and may God give his family the fortitude to bare the lost.Really sad.@M M M fu-cking muslims re coughing Angry Read and understand haka nai comments, ur stereotyped comment is unwarranted  |
| Politics › Re: Augustus Aikhomu Is Dead by overwhelmd: 9:16pm On Aug 17, 2011 |
Will rather say nothing, since he is dead! |
| Politics › Re: I Am Not In A Hurry To Die, Says Ojukwu by overwhelmd: 9:06pm On Aug 17, 2011 |
His brother & wife better read this & stop fighting over who takes what from his reclaimed abandoned property  |
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