₦airaland Forum

TutorAde:
Why is this business dead?

Mikkyangel is still in business I know
But I don't know if bukkiemore is still in the business and I need her for pick up

Please is bukkiemore still in active for pick ups?

Hi, house it's been long I did any transaction on OfferUp
Please I want to confirm if bukkiemore (Texas) is still active for pick up services
Have anyone used her recently
Did she deliver

You're wrong...if you had visit ante natal clinic
This is must topic of discussion during health education......

Kobojunkie:
That is one of those many lies your forefathers brainwashed you all with. There is no strong scientific consensus between the frequency of sexual intercourse and the ease of childbirth.

A woman could have sex morning, noon, and night, every day during pregnancy, and still end up having some of the worst childbirth experiences.

Thank you... People are making it like it's about sex mainly....
She had even refused light touches to sensitive parts
She will start slapping my hand from her body and give me some bombastic side eye look....
There's no bond and connection at all
She could travel at this time for a month and I won't even miss her.....

linearity:
I don’t think sex is the main issue here.

I understand your reasoning behind the first trimester, but based on on the OP, the wife is not even allowing kissing, touching, cuddling, etc.

This should be a period of bonding for the whole family and it does not appear things will get any better.

After 9 months, OP would have to wait a minimum of 4-8 weeks, and since she got pregnant on the 1st or 2nd time they had sex, nothing stopping her from conceiving very early the second time and the circle continues.

Until the OP seats her down and get to the bottom, he is in a hard place.

Christians are supposed to show empathy, agree we all have our own little struggles, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes for a minute.

Any married woman pregnant or not should understand that, it is not healthy for her husband to be begging for sex.

I understand people saying the guy should endure, that he waited 2 years before now, remember that he is no longer waiting, he wants the thing now….this is akin to fire burning and you are telling him to exercise patience.

Plus this is just a two month old marriage with little or no much bonding….OP kpelle, I don’t want to read the tea leaves on this marriage but the Lord is your strength, you will need it!

I've mentioned it several times in this thread
She had been refused light touches, kissing, smooching, hugs cuddling... I can't even touch any sensitive part of her body by mistake she go give me bombastic side eye....
And this had actually drained our connection and bond
Almost everyday nah argument all because I'm trying to communicate my feelings...
She has very very mild symptoms so far
No vomits, no nausea no fever no spits... She just sleeps a lot and goes about her normal day to day activities...
And as for domestic works I do that often
Since she goes to work and I'm still on my annual leave from work.....

IMPARTIAL:
Pls empathize with her. She's yours. Since you said she was a virgin, just be careful. Just try and make her happy and romantic. She will give in.

There are some newly pregnant women who vomit immediately they are exposed to sexual acts. Mere seeing your penis and the secretions on it can disgust her.

Pls understand with her.

Bro, I feel you but the issue here is not just about sex
I've mentioned it several times in this thread
She had been refused light touches, kissing, smooching, hugs cuddling... I can't even touch any sensitive part of her body by mistake she go give me bombastic side eye....
And this had actually drained our connection and bond
Almost everyday nah argument all because I'm trying to communicate my feelings...
She has very very mild symptoms so far
No vomits, no nausea no fever no spits... She just sleeps a lot and goes about her normal day to day activities...
And as for domestic works I do that often
Since she goes to work and I'm still on my annual leave from work.....

Loveisgreat:
Good day my brother! I tried to feel your pain. I was also opportune to marry a virgin lady. I want you to firstly be grateful to God Almighty for the favour of getting your wife pregnant after two weeks into marriage. Many men and women that have the best sexual libido have nothing to show for their efforts since so many years in marriage. Still waiting till now. I understand you that one major reason of you entering into this marriage is SEX but you must include COMPANIONSHIP.
The counsellor that told you to wait for the first semester gave you the best advice if you a Christian. Afterwhich, if no changes then approach your church female counsellor or Pastor's mummy. Then on your side, try to come down to her feeling and practice emotional relief support system with her by engaging in house chores such as cooking, running washing machine even sweeping floors on her behalf sometimes. Create time for weekend outings and unwind together. Change your lightnings bulbs to colorful type and always play slows worship songs and if possible play slow blues in the night while together with her. Ensure you eat together and sit beside each other. Try to get sexy boxers. God will heal your home and you will never lose it in Jesus name.

We do other stuffs sometimes except penetration
But she insisted on no sex until marriage as per say she be virgin and I respect her opinion since we're planning to get married anyways

Denko2721987:
How old is your wife?? And was it solely becos she was a virgin you guys didnt try copulate for 2 years during courtship based on no sex until marriage agreement??

You dey mind that one...
My wife does have very very mild symptoms
She goes about her normal day life as if it's nothing
U won't even notice that she's pregnant yet and she's about 7 weeks gone...
The last time we had anything together was first week of September
And that's like 2 weeks after our wedding
It's been 5 weeks of no sex no touching,no cuddling, no kiss no smooching nothing like intimacy no matter how small u can think of it

chidiokay:
. Aunty your paragraph no make any sense, you courted that was a enough time to process and prepare your mind & body for whats to come

when you say " I do" it means you have reached the final stage of processing and you are ready for whats to come, i can you be having unprotected sex n still be shocked getting pregnant ... doesnt make sense

There is an issue inside her she is not just spilling out, she is only using the pregnancy as a cover

Every other you wrote, honestly i wont want to insult you But whats that a man that had 2yrs patience no sex is still the villian inside marriage cos he asked for sex

She made a vow on the alter to satisfy her husband.....
If she she's not really into men she wouldn't have gotten married knowing what marriage entails
She's not a kid
She's fucking 26 and a graduate

Procashtips:
Still doesn't mean a woman would totally shut down any form of affection towards a man she loves.

Could be something not related to her hormones or sexual activities.

What if she's not really into men?

Her symptoms is very very mild
She goes about her normal day to day activities
She's pretty much fine except that she sleeps often and eat less no vomiting, no fever, no fatigue, no spit no nausea, she barely even had mood swings.....
It's just not about the sex from my end too
But no form of intimacy no matter how small
No kissing, no touching, no smooching,no cuddling
No connection no bond at all
We're just living like housemates
Makes me wonder if her pregnancy only stopped her from being intimate with me but not her day to day activities
Sincerely you won't even notice she's pregnant by seeing her
She's very very active, doesn't look she's over a month pregnant at all
Her stomach is very much flat

Osanoghodua1:
Okay, talk to her, she needs lots of counseling from you. You can have her when she's happy and not irritated. My wife then would vomit and vomit and vomit! Jesus! I only touch her maybe at night when was happy, she gets irritated by everything, would buy her everything but nothing pleases her those days but I will just target when she's stable and happy and do it, leave her for another maybe 1 month. Not all women are like this, some do not feel any changes hence they can have sex from day 1 pregnancy to the day of their delivery. Men must understand and bear with their wives.

You can't compare your symptoms with hers...
Hers is very very mild
She goes about her normal day to day activities
She's pretty much fine except that she sleeps often and eat less no vomiting, no fever, no fatigue, no spit no nausea.....
It's just not about the sex from my end too
But no form of intimacy no matter how small
No kissing, no touching, no smooching,no cuddling
No connection no bond at all
We're just living like housemates
Makes me wonder if her pregnancy only stopped her from being intimate with me but not her day to day activities

pocohantas:
I am surprised some of them are saying with emphasis that it is not pregnancy. Haba! With my minion I was in out of the hospital. I vomited everything, even water until I became depressed. Imagine if he came here for advise. They will tell him to get a sidechick or second wife. 😂😂😂

I am a Pediatric Nurse
None of this you wrote down there is true....
And No, sex in first trimester doesn't endangerer the pregnancy except on some rare cases...
My sex game wasn't wack lol
My point still stands;
It's not just about sex here
No bond, no connection, no touching no kiss, no smooching no deep talks
We were just leaving in the house as if we were house mates
And stop chatting me about hormonal shit...
Her symptoms is very very mild
No vomiting, no spits, no hyper pyrexia, no nausea her only symptoms seems to be sleeping a lot and eating less
Her hormones changes didn't stop her from doing her day today activities except being intimate with her hubby 😔 abi??

DrFunmisticGlow:
Didn't you talk about this before marriage?

For the pregnancy to stabilize doctors usually advise no sex until after 3 months along.

But if she's avoiding you, then your sex game is not good at all. You have probably traumatized the poor woman from the whole thing.

Thirdly pregnancy causes hormonal changes to women, what you see is what you get.

Fourthly, congratulations on marrying a virgin. This is one of the downsides of marrying one. If their first experience isn't good, they start avoiding you.

Just talk to her and try to find out what is going on, then masturbate to keep the urge under control like all the other married men

I am not 26.... Now calmly go back to the thread and read the thread again
I understand most Nigerians read to reply not read to understand
Thank you

vowiski:
You are a disgrace!

You married a virgin, waited for 2 years, you were having sex and impregnated her during your honeymoon, you want to keep having sex forgetting that her hormones has changed drastically, and she will start having mood swings.

It’s very clear you have not read any book on pregnancy , marriage and fatherhood.

There is a popular saying; if you want to hide something from a black man, put it inside a book and he will never find it.

Instead of you to read, you came to Nairaland to destroy your amazing marriage. I really pity for you.

You are 26, and you can’t do simple research, I am really embarrassed.

These Gen Z are so erratic, and it’s a huge same!

You waited 2 years, banging outside.. but can’t wait 3 months for your wife’s body to re-adjust because you have not read anything but to be tired of your marriage .

Please take a seat!

Thank you.... We don't even talk aside from occasional gists and what to eat
We fit dey bed together make we no talk for hours make everyone just dey press phone

Donlexino:
Please stop supporting bad things.you guys don't read and comprehend... the no sex aspect is a little bit understandable but the main problem here is affection, emotional connection and at least some touching, kissing and the lovey dovey stuffs at times

I'm not stupid, I won't be saying this if she had pesterd me to wait....
She had retracted from all sorts of intimacy
No touch, no kissing no smooching no deep communication
When I bring issue of sex up she'll tell me she might not be ready until after 9 months

Desusi:
On point bro. All these inexperienced dude.my advice, try as much as possible to handle her like fragile thing at this time,in no distance time she will be ready for you.Never you go out searching for sex elsewhere, except you want to destroy your marriage. Why do you want to put yourself and your family in jeopardy because of few minutes sexual so call enjoyment. You're immature!

And how frequent is a frequent sex??
I'm not even demanding for too much
I'm newly married
We never reach two months but I'm already starving for 5 weeks....
In a marriage that's fresh like ShopRite bread

InvertedHammer:
/
Who deceived you that frequent sex is a benefit in marriage?

Get all the sex you can while single and dating.
/

It is easy to talk when you are not the victim of the scenario
And for the record she doesn't vomit, no spitting, no fever, no fatigue no nausea
She has a very very mild symptoms
Which has not prevented her from doing what she was doing before she took in and day to day activities

abbey621:
Guy your head no correct o! First time pregnancy from someone that has not done adequate knacking and newly wed, of course she's not prepared for the rollercoaster she's on! Instead of you to be a supportive partner and forsake your own needs for awhile, you're already fuming and foaming in just a month, sho gbadun?

Do you understand all the hormones, bloating, spitting, nausea and other things going on? Better give yourself brain and reassure her that everything will be okay. If you must know, some women even the smell of your body can cause them to vomit, DON'T BE SELFISH!

Hormonal changes also stops me from touching her?
This is a lady that goes about her daily activities like every other normal day
She doesn't even entertain little touches not to talk of romance or smooching
We're just like housemates who share the same bed together
No connection, no bond no chemistry

dealslip:
It's the major hormonal change going on. Trust me, the first trimester of a pregnancy is often the worse stage. Even the pregnant woman herself feels like person wey trailer jam. She feels like crap in that period but wait till she comes out of the first trimester na you go run😂😂. The hormone will start a riot and fire, you sef go dey run

We were in love with each other really....
It was obvious
This whole thing is making us become mere housemates who only share thesame bed....
No connection, no bond

Helpout12345:
Good. Do you think she loves or likes you as a person? Not just because of comfort, provision you bring or can bring in future?

Hypnotise:
You have to find out what tickles her fancy. Your wife is not a wood, so her body must move for something.

All these research work just for her to perform her matrimonial role

Overwhelmed by what exactly??
Her pregnancy doesn't stop her from doing her day to day activities
She goes to work, goes to market, do her business, goes to church for rehearsals and on Sundays
She does everything pretty good except bedroom duties
So far her pregnancy symptoms is very mild
No vomiting, no spitting, no high temperature
Just loss of food appetite sometimes....

Kobojunkie:
I think it is still early in the relationship for that. I was going to recommend a psychiatric evaluation if it turns out the woman is somewhat overwhelmed by it all.

I just shock when she said that... It doesn't make a single element of sense

ReacherSaidNoth:
How old is this woman, her immaturity stinks here. The boldness to tell your husband no sex for 9 months

26

Kobojunkie:
These ideas do not work magic but do help in some way. Something tells me that the issue may be psychological. How old is the woman in question?

It's not long distance we were like 30 minutes drive away from each other
We see anytime we want to
She just decided no sex before marriage
Perhaps we do kiss, smooch and all sorts except penetration

Helpout12345:
Distance relationship of 2 years? No touching or anything in those 2 years. I hope you didn't marry "I settle" woman.

Do you think she loves or likes you? How was her behavior towards you during the wedding planning, wedding and after the wedding?

How was the 10 day kna.ck? Did it show that she loves you?

I'm on 6 weeks leave immediately after our wedding
She resumes work the 3rd week after our wedding
Whenever she goes to work I do the cooking, and cleaning and other basic home duties before she comes back from work.
By the time she comes back she'd just eat press phone and sleep
But still all these doesn't yield anything positive
I stopped doing the home works since it yields nothing

Kobojunkie:
Have you tried taking some activities off her daily plate to see if that would help her relax and be more at ease with the possible anxieties that surround pregnancy?

Thank you... The regular sex was only for 10 days before she missed her period
And ever since then there has been nothing like that

kiddaz:
There was never a time they had regular sex, going by the op

It is a problem in marriage.....

jamesversion:
If sex is what you need, it is not a problem.

Infact getting sex in Nigeria has never been a problem.

Get creative how

Chubhie:
Her body is going through a lot. A man has needs. Get a lil creative and she go open give you.

Read it up again...
We never had anything together during 2 years courtship
And No, it wasn't a long distance relationship
We're about only 35 minutes travel time away from each other..

Diamond098454:
But you have been sleeping with her throughout your courtship a month of no sex won't kill you

NiRfreak:
Most men wey be newly married no kon geh sense again for this country....like clueless.
..
Which planet does 2 weeks pregnancy means no more touching, kissing and sex for a couple.
.
Even 7 months pregnant woman with big Belle still dey knack Deir husband. 2 weeks honeymoon and waiting 9months after delivery seems like something sensible to you?

I tried at first to reason with her excuses throughout last month until last week that it doesn't seem to make sense anymore....
When I talk say she go talk say she no ready give in until after 9 months
You won't even notice that she's pregnant yet
She's very active at her work place, goes to chuch regularly, markets, cook and other day to day activities